


Time and Tides

by NightingalesMuse



Category: Pirates of the Caribbean (Movies)
Genre: Adulthood, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Coming of Age, F/M, Family, Grief/Mourning, Historical Inaccuracy, Historical References, Hope, Love Triangles, Redemption, Religious Discussion, Romance, Teen Romance, The Royal Navy, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-02-23 05:42:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 23
Words: 145,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23006626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightingalesMuse/pseuds/NightingalesMuse
Summary: With the coming and going of time and the tides, the men that Catherine loved would leave and return to her. Or at least that is for what she always hoped and prayed. She gradually learns that time is cruel and tides can prove dangerous, but neither are strong enough to tear apart those that have been intertwined like the strongest of cords.
Relationships: Elizabeth Swann/Will Turner, Gillette (Pirates of the Caribbean)/Original Female Character(s), James Norrington/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 29





	1. Catherine Richardson

**Author's Note:**

> I started drabbling on this fic years and years ago, and only recently got back to it. Please forgive any cheesiness, Mary Sues, etc. The story starts with the characters in their teenage years, and so their characters/personalities also develop as they age. I had plotted out many chapters but for this fic may stick to the main plot and later post other bits as vignettes. 
> 
> This is historical fiction so I make no claims of accuracy. Also any attitudes or beliefs may reflect outdated ideas that are now considered offensive. 
> 
> Anyways, our navy boys deserve some love! I hope you enjoy!

"Catie! Catie, come here, dear!" a middle-aged woman called to her daughter.

“Yes, mother, what do you want?” a teenaged girl bounced into the foyer where her mother was standing.

“I have some exciting news. You have been invited to a dance!”

“Really? By whom? When?”

“You have been invited by your cousin Charlotte. She has recently become engaged to an officer in the navy, it seems, and she wants you to come and celebrate with her. It will be two weeks from tomorrow.”  
  
“Oh, how exciting!”  
  
“Yes, it most certainly is! And perhaps you can meet some nice and respectable navy men there yourself,” she smiled.  
  
“Oh, mother, really,” the daughter grew embarrassed.  
  
“You’re sixteen now, and that’s quite old enough for you to start seriously considering marriage. It couldn’t hurt to look around,” she winked  
  
“I suppose.”  
  
“Perhaps those good navy lads James Norrington and Andrew Gillette will be attending as well. They got along quite well with you and Charlotte when she lived in the area. If they are going, I will ask them to escort you to the dance. You know, you would do well if you were to be married off to one of them. There are rumors swirling about one or both of them getting promoted to lieutenant quite soon.”  
  
“Yes, I imagine that would be nice if they could escort me. They are jovial, but they are not too stern either.”  
  
“That is a good thing, dear. You need a man that has a sense of humor and can laugh and appreciate the little things in life. Well, that is enough of this for now. Go on back to what you were doing. We can start planning for your trip tomorrow.”  
  
“Alright mother, but it will be hard for me to focus on anything I have to do. I have much to think about now!”  
  
“Catherine Richardson, you are so precious,” the mother whispered to herself after the girl left the room. “May whomever you marry treat you like a rare jewel too precious to be lost.”  
  
Catherine Richardson was a sixteen-year-old girl born into a family that was upper-middle class in status. Light brown haired and blue eyed, she was growing into her curves and also growing frustrated with finding it more difficult to fit into her old stays fearing she would become as plump as her father had been.  
  
The Richardson family homestead was located in a port town on the southeastern coast of England, and it was a relatively easy journey in to London if required. The family was well off enough to have some occasional treats and some of the finer things in life, but they still had to keep an eye on their spending. Mr. Benjamin Richardson was somewhat of a Renaissance man in that he was well-rounded. An artisan and silversmith by profession, he made fine things like silver tea sets that only the upper class could afford. He also dabbled in music and played the violin and harpsichord quite well. He accepted any opportunity to play for dances and small gatherings of wealthy politicians from parliament and the gentry. Mr. Richardson also owned some property in London, which he rented out to former apprentices and fellow tradesmen who were seeking to start their own businesses until they were stable on their own two feet.  
  
The Richardson family had four children in all, and Catherine was the youngest. Her brother Jonathan was the oldest in the family. He had already been married and had a couple children by the time she was able to even remember anything. Her first older sister, Emma, also had married and started a family, and so Catherine never really knew Jonathan nor Emma all that well. Her other sister, Violet, was only a little older than Catherine, and the two sisters did get to know each other much better than the other two siblings, but sadly Violet had a weak constitution. When Catherine was only seven years of age, Violet contracted influenza and passed away. Although Catherine was still only a child at the time, she was bright and understood what her parents meant when they explained to her that Violet had “gone to heaven to be with Jesus” as they sadly wiped the tears away from her blue eyes.  
  
Since Catherine was the only child that Mr. Richardson and his wife Thomasin had left in the home, they were able to devote all of their attention to her. She was not spoiled with material objects, but her parents made sure that she was provided with all the love and care a child needed. Mr. Richardson loved teaching Catherine about music and how to paint porcelain teacups. He enjoyed playing on the harpsichord while his beloved little girl sang or danced. Mrs. Richardson was considered to be a highly educated woman compared to her counterparts, and she spent a lot of time with Catherine teaching her to read and write alongside of how to run a household. Mrs. Richardson was also a very devout Christian and taught Catherine all about the Bible and their faith. Catherine came to rely on her Lord at a young age and especially found Him a faithful friend in difficult times like when dear Violet died and later when Mr. Richardson suddenly died of a heart attack.  
  
Before Thomasin Richardson knew it, her little girl had bloomed into a beautiful young woman. She enjoyed teaching Catherine how to pull up her brown tresses into the latest fashions. She also spent time trying to get her somewhat shy daughter to interact with members of the opposite sex. Catherine always had plenty of girlfriends, but she was always timid around the boys especially now that she had the body of a young woman. Catherine slowly grew to trust two young men, however, who had already befriended her cousins who had lived nearby before moving out into the countryside. They were both midshipmen in the Royal Navy, and both seemed to be quite promising when their careers were concerned.  
  
The older of the two was named James Norrington. He was eighteen and very soon to be nineteen-years-old. He was quite tall and slender, had chocolate brown hair, which he usually hid under a hat or wig, and striking green eyes. His father had been an admiral in the navy before passing away, and so it only seemed natural for him to follow in his father’s footsteps as a younger son of the Norrington family. James had the tendency of being quite serious. Yes, he knew how to have fun and enjoy himself, but when in uniform he took his occupation quite seriously.  
  
The other young man was named Andrew Gillette. He was eighteen-years-old as well. He was almost as tall as James was, had auburn hair, a small birthmark above his upper lip on the right side in addition to numerous pale freckles, and dove brown eyes. His father was an Englishman whose parents were of French descent, and he had fallen in love with and married the daughter of an Irish merchant who had set up shop in England. Andrew quickly grew to love the sea as he often visited his kin in Ireland and France and eventually decided to join the navy. It was here that James and Andrew first met and grew to become fast and best friends.  
  
Whereas James was the serious one, Andrew was the lighthearted one, and so the two were balanced. Andrew was always getting himself into trouble with his jokes and tricks, it seemed, and James was always there to get him out of it. Nonetheless, where the one lad was, there was the other. Catherine enjoyed hearing James’ and Andrew’s stories of their times at sea. She even grew to enjoy when James and Andrew bickered over the details of their adventures as midshipmen in the Royal Navy. Although Andrew always made her laugh, Catherine found herself drawn to James the most. She was not entirely sure what it was that drew her to him, but she admitted that she was a little frightened to find herself liking a man. Although she had known the two for about three years already, she had just now come to the realization that they were in fact actually men now. She would sit thinking about it while brushing her hair at night and get chills up her spine.  
  
_“What is this that I’m feeling?”_ she would think to herself. _“Am I falling in love?”_  
  
Sometimes she would find herself daydreaming about James. She often wondered what it would be like to marry him. “Catherine Norrington” she would scribble on a piece of paper occasionally just to see how it looked. _“Catherine Norrington does sound nice,”_ she would smile to herself.  
  
On the next day, Mrs. Richardson took Catherine to the market to choose material to make a dress for her cousin Charlotte’s dance. On their way back, they happened to run into James.  
  
“Good afternoon, Mrs. Richardson and Miss Catherine,” he bowed following society’s practices of the day.  
  
“Good afternoon to you as well, Midshipman Norrington,” Mrs. Richardson curtseyed and laughed. “You really do not have to be so formal with us, James.”  
  
“Oh, sorry,” he felt a little embarrassed.  
  
“Have you been invited to Charlotte’s dance?”  
  
“Yes, I have. I am looking forward to it. Andrew was invited as well, but he has duty that night. He is quite disappointed.”  
  
“Oh, poor Andrew, how upsetting.”  
  
“Yes, he would much rather be flirting with the ladies than being forced to be serious and work,” James smiled.  
  
“Well, James, since you are going to the dance and Andrew is not, why don’t you escort Catherine?” Thomasin suggested.  
  
“Mother,” Catherine whispered rebuking her.  
  
“Mrs. Richardson, I would love to escort Catherine to the dance,” he beamed. “Well, that is, as long as it is agreeable with Catherine,” he turned and looked at Catherine who began to blush slightly.  
  
“Catherine? Catie, dear, aren’t you going to answer him?” Thomasin nudged Catherine who was gawking at James.  
  
“Oh, why, yes! Uh, yes, James, I would like that very much,” she managed to say feeling like she wanted to crawl under her mother's skirts and die of embarrassment.  
  
“Very well then, I will make the arrangements,” James said in a matter-of-fact tone as if he had just completed a business transaction.  
  
“It was nice seeing you again, James, but Catherine and I must get home and make sure supper gets on the table. Our maid has a bit of a cold, and so I let her have time off until she feels well again. We will see you again soon.”  
  
“Yes, and I will send word of when I will arrive to escort Catherine.”  
  
“Have a good day,” Mrs. Richardson began to walk away leaving Catherine standing there alone.  
  
“Thank you, Mrs. Richardson,” he quickly called after her. “Have a wonderful evening, Catherine,” he gently smiled before going on his way.  
  
Catherine walked quickly to catch up with her mother. “Mummy, I can’t believe you just did that!”  
  
“What’s the matter? I would have preferred asking Andrew perhaps because he reminds me a bit of your father, but James is a good man, too. Besides, you really do need to learn how to converse with men, dear,” she teased.  
  
“I suppose,” Catherine sighed still trying to recover from her embarrassment. “Don’t worry, honey, you will have a good time,” Thomasin reassured her as they continued their walk home. “Dances are always enjoyable, and you will get to meet new young people your age. Maybe you’ll even have some excitement that night as well.”  
  
“I guess a bit of excitement couldn’t hurt...”


	2. Catherine's Interest in James Norrington Grows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ah teenage love...

Time quickly passed and the day of the dance finally arrived. Catherine was excited but a bundle of nerves all at once. She was looking forward to being with James, but at the same time, she was afraid of what might or might not happen between them.  
  
"Ouch! Mother, you're pulling too hard!" she whined as her mother did her hair.  
  
"Oh, Catie, I'm almost done," Mrs. Richardson reassured her.  
  
"I'm sorry. I'm just nervous," she sighed.  
  
"What for? You should be excited!"  
  
"I am excited, but I'm still anxious. You know how I am around strangers."  
  
"And especially around men," she laughed. "You'll do fine, Catherine. James will be with you if you need anything. He is a good man and will take care of you if you're afraid."  
  
"Yes, I know he will. It's just that, well..."  
  
"Well, what?"

"Never mind."

"There, I'm all done. Now stand up and look at me, dear," Mrs. Richardson instructed. "Oh, sweetheart, you look wonderful! Your papa would have been so proud if he could have seen you now," she wiped a tear from her eye.

"Oh, mum," Catherine nearly rolled her eyes.

"Are you ready, then?"

"Yes, I think I am."

"Very well, you best gather your things. James will be here soon."

Catherine went back to her own bedroom and gathered the relevant items she would need for the evening. She paused to look in her mirror. Smiling with satisfaction, she whispered to herself dreamily, "I love you, too, James."

"Miss Catherine?" the maid Molly knocked on the door slightly startling her.

"Yes, Molly?"

"There's a Midshipman Norrington here for you, miss."

"Thank you, Molly. I will be right down." Quickly stealing another glance in the mirror, she started to feel a bit self-conscious noting that she was indeed a young woman now and how her dress accented her figure, but she resolved that if she did not go downstairs now, she probably would not be able to budge at all. Carefully making her way down the main stairs, she heard James conversing with Mrs. Richardson.

"Oh, Catherine, there you are!" Mrs. Richardson clapped her hands together in excitement.

James gazed at Catherine as she made her way over to where he and her mother were standing. "You look lovely, Catherine," he smiled and kissed the back of her hand causing her to blush slightly.

"Thank you, James. You look handsome in your uniform," she managed to return the compliment.

"Now, James, I want you to look after my little girl. Make sure she doesn't get herself into any jams."

"Do not worry, Mrs. Richardson. I will make sure Catherine is safe," he assured her.

"Very good, James. You are a fine young man. Now, the two of you best be on your way so that you're not late," she began to push them out the door. "Don't forget, James, I'm trusting you. Both of you have some fun!" she smiled.

"Yes ma'am," he smiled back as he offered Catherine his arm before leading her to the carriage. "Careful now," he advised as he helped her inside. "How are you doing, Catherine?" he asked after settling himself inside the carriage.

"I am quite nervous about the dance but I suppose that otherwise I am doing well, James, and you?"

"I am doing fine," he smiled. "Andrew desperately wanted to go tonight, you know. I felt bad leaving him behind, but he must perform his duties."

"Yes, of course he does."

"I'm afraid I'll never hear the end of it, though," he laughed.

"Well, perhaps you and Andrew could join mother and me for supper sometime."

"Yes, I think he would enjoy that."

James initially spoke much during the carriage ride much to Catherine's relief. He discussed many things, but mostly he spoke of Andrew and their duties as midshipmen. He also explained that he hoped to be promoted to lieutenant within the year. She shyly asked him to tell stories of his latest journeys, and he happily obliged. He told her of his ship's run-in with a pirate ship off the southern coast of Spain.

"The captain was a ruthless and evil man. He had a big black beard and was missing his left leg."

"Oh dear!" Catherine gasped.

"Oh, sorry. I should not discuss such things in front of a lady. It is not proper," he quickly apologized.

"No, James, it is alright. Please don't stop," she insisted as she put her hand on his own causing him to smile back shyly.

"Very well then. Speaking of pirates and sailors, have you ever heard the story of Davy Jones?"

"No, I haven't."

"Davy Jones was an excellent sailor and a good man, that is, until he came across something that vexes even the best of men. Do you know what it was?"

"Hmm," Catherine thought briefly. "A woman?" she guessed.

"Excellent, Catherine! Yes, a woman. You see, he fell in love, but the woman was wild at heart. They say that she was even as untamable as the sea and very harsh. Much to Davy Jones' dismay, she did not return his love. He could no longer bear the mixture of pain and love that he felt within his heart, so you know what the poor fellow did?"

"Nope, what did he do?"

"He cut out his own heart, put it in a chest, and buried it!"

"Gracious, well that was something terribly drastic for him to do."

"They say that the chest is still out there somewhere buried, hidden in secret, and if you find it, you can control the seas because you can control Davy Jones."

"That's fascinating! Do you think it's true, or is it just another tall sailor's tale?" she laughed.

"I highly doubt it's real, but who knows for sure. It is an interesting story needless to say."

"If it is true, I must say I feel sorry for him."

"Why is that?"

"That must be terrible to love someone so greatly and not be loved in return. I would not wish that upon anyone."

"You have such a good heart, Catherine. Yes, I must agree."

Catherine found herself feeling much more comfortable around James. She started gabbing away much more than usual around him. Usually he would be the one to talk all the time, but she actually spoke enough to match him on this occasion. She began telling him of her hopes and dreams, her interests, her family, and other various things about her, which before she would have been to frightened to share.

"When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of becoming a musician. My papa taught me all he knew about music. I don't think I want to be a musician anymore, but I still love music. Mother took me to London once for a performance of Henry Purcell's _Dido and Aeneas_ , and I almost sobbed because it was so beautiful," she explained all dreamy-eyed.

"If you do not want to be a musician anymore, what are your current aspirations?"

"Well, there are not very many other options for a woman of my status these days, but I just want to be a wife and mother anyway. I want to run a household and have a family. They may be simple aspirations, but I know it is right for me." 

"I think you will make an excellent wife and mother someday, Catherine," he smiled causing her to blush once again. "Whoever marries you will be a very lucky man indeed."

"Thank you, James."

The carriage finally pulled up in front of the estate of Catherine's aunt and uncle. James helped Catherine out of the carriage, offered her his arm, and led her to the front door where they were met by a maid who let them in and led them to the ballroom. They were early enough that only a couple of guests had already arrived, and they could spend time speaking with the family before the music and dancing started.

"Catie!" Catherine's cousin Charlotte exclaimed when she saw her and James enter the room.

"Oh dear, how are you?" she asked as Charlotte hugged her tightly.

"I am wonderful!"

"Congratulations on your engagement. Mother sends her regards. Let me see your ring!" Charlotte held out her left hand. "Oh, it's beautiful. How exciting!"

"James, I'm so glad you could come. How are you this evening?" Charlotte asked.

"I am quite well, thank you, and congratulations."

"Thank you, James. It is a shame Andrew could not come. The four of us always used to have a good time together, now didn't we?"

"Always," Catherine smiled.

"Would the two of you like to meet my fiancé?"

“Absolutely,” James and Catherine replied in unison causing the three of them to laugh just like old times.

Charlotte led the two dear friends over to where her fiancé was speaking to her father. “John, dear, I would like you to meet my cousin and one of my friends,” she tapped him on the shoulder.

“Of course, dear,” he smiled. “Hello.”

“John, this is my beloved cousin Catherine Richardson, and she is being escorted tonight by one of our dear friends James Norrington. He is currently a midshipman in the navy and is most likely going to be promoted soon. Catherine and James, this is my fiancé Captain John Baldwin.”

“It is a pleasure to meet you, sir,” Catherine said and curtseyed.

“It is a pleasure to meet you as well, Miss Catherine.”

“Midshipman Norrington, are you the son of Admiral Lawrence Edward Norrington?”

“Yes, sir, I am.”

“What a pleasant surprise! I served under him briefly as a midshipman. He was an excellent leader and sailor. You will do well in the navy if you are like your father.”

“Would the two of you like to discuss the navy while Catherine and I discuss other matters?” James and John agreed, so Charlotte led Catherine across to the other side of the room so they could speak privately. “So, is James courting you?”

“Oh, no, he isn’t courting me. He just offered to escort me for the night. Well, actually, mother suggested it.”

“I think he fancies you, Cat.”

“Really?”

“Yes, he seems quite happy to be with you. In fact, don’t look now, but he’s looking at you.”

“Oh dear,” Catherine began to fan herself causing Charlotte to giggle.

“Wouldn’t it be lovely if he courted you, Catie? He is a fine man, and he’s definitely handsome!”

“Yes, he is,” Catherine smiled. “I must admit that I have fancied him for some time now, but I’ve been too afraid to say anything. Besides, it is not proper for a woman to initiate a courtship, and it would be lovely to be pursued.”

“Right, the man should take the first step. Well then, you must make sure you dance with him as often as possible tonight.”

“Why?”

“It will show you are interested. Stake your claim. Oh, you would make such a lovely couple,” she smiled.

“I do rather think that Catherine Norrington sounds quite nice.”

“It certainly does. Now let’s go freshen up and get ready for the dance to start.”

There was a nice turnout for the dance somewhat to Catherine’s dismay. She never did like large crowds of strangers. She danced with a couple of her cousins before retreating to a corner in an attempt to hide from all of the people she did not know. She noticed James was standing against the wall nearby apparently trying to do the same as her. He noticed her looking at her, smiled, and made his way over to her.

“Are you troubled, Catherine?”

“I don’t particularly like dancing with strangers. I get so nervous and end up making a fool of myself. Sometimes I get so nervous it makes me feel ill. I feel guilty, though, because I promised my mother that I would be brave and meet new people and have fun. Obviously, I’m not doing so well.”

“Please do not fret so, Catherine. You do not need to do something if it makes you feel uncomfortable. If you enjoy standing here and watching everyone else dance, then go ahead and do that,” he smiled to encourage her.

“Well, it is not that I do not want to dance. I enjoy dancing, actually, but I just do not enjoy dancing with people I do not know,” she explained.

“I see. Well then, in that case, would you like to go for a walk? I’m sure your aunt and uncle wouldn’t mind us walking in the garden.”

“Yes, I would enjoy that. It would be nice to get some fresh air,” she agreed as she readily took his arm and showed him the way. “Aunt Eleanor and Uncle Samuel have such a beautiful garden, but I have only seen it once during midday,” she explained as she opened the door leading outside. “Oh, James, it’s wonderful,” she gasped as they stepped outside into the garden full of moonlight.

“It is very lovely, Catherine. You can even still hear the music from inside.”

“Yes, that is a nice touch.”

“Catherine?”

“Yes, James?”

“May I have this dance?” he quietly asked.

“Yes, you may,” Catherine smiled and took his hand. The pair danced together in the moonlight for quite a while until Catherine suggested that perhaps they should go back inside before people started to look for them. “I’m more than willing to continue dancing with you, though, once we get inside,” she added with a smile.

When the two entered the ballroom, most of the guests had left, and only several couples remained. Catherine and James joined the others on the dance floor and danced until the final song was over.

“Catherine, dear, thank you so much for coming!” Charlotte hugged her favorite cousin as she saw her and James off. “I suppose the next time that I will be seeing you is my wedding.”

“Yes, I will see you then. I wish the best of luck to both of you,” Catherine kissed Charlotte on the cheek.

“And the best of luck to both of you as well,” Charlotte whispered to Catherine so that neither James nor John could hear.

“We must find some time to speak again, James,” John said as he shook his hand. “I enjoyed discussing our naval ventures.”

“As did I,” James firmly shook his hand back. “Good luck to you and Charlotte.”

“Thank you, and have a good evening.”

James helped Catherine into the carriage as before and then climbed in as well. “That was so exquisite, James,” Catherine sighed after he settled on the seat beside her. “Charlotte and John make a lovely couple. Thank you for escorting me. I had a wonderful time.”

“You’re welcome, Catherine. I enjoyed it as well.”

“It was nice to see Charlotte again. She looked so happy. I hope they have a wonderful life together.”

“John appears to be a fine man. I believe they will spend many happy years together.”

“I hope my marriage is like that.”

“I’m sure it will, Catherine. You deserve a good and happy marriage and home. Forgive me if I am being too forward; but Catherine, you have become a fine woman, and I consider it an honor to know you,” he said as he took her hand in his own.

“Thank you, James, you are so kind to me,” she smiled in the darkness.

The two did not speak much the rest of the way back to Catherine’s home, as they were both quite tired from the evening’s festivities and it being quite late. Catherine eventually fell asleep and started to droop back and forth before James pulled her over and had her lean against him. In that moment, he then realized just how important she was to him. He never had thought much about it before, but he really did love her. As he thought about that fact, she sighed in her sleep happily and nuzzled into his shoulder, which drove him to wrap his arm around her.   
  
_“What would life be like having this beautiful woman for a wife?”_ he thought before smiling and leaning his head on her own. _“I will court her,”_ he resolved. _“Yes, I will court her after I have received my promotion. After becoming a lieutenant I will be able to provide for her more properly.”_

The carriage finally reached Catherine's home. James gently woke her up and helped her gather her things before getting out of the carriage and helping her out as well. They walked arm-in-arm to her front door before saying their good-byes for the evening.

"James, I had a wonderful time with you this evening. I was so worried that I was going to have a terrible evening, but I really enjoyed myself. Thank you for taking note of my distress and helping me to have an agreeable time."

"You're quite welcome, Catherine. I must admit that I find your company most pleasant, and I would have rather spent my time with you than any other woman there. Will you give your mother my regards?"

"Yes, of course I will. I will also ask her if it will be alright for you and Andrew to come and dine with us sometime soon."

"Thank you, I know he would enjoy that as much as I would," he smiled. "Good night, Catherine, and sleep well," he said before planting a chaste and gentle kiss on the back of her hand.

"Good night, James," she smiled back before heading inside and closing the door. "Gracious," she sighed as she leaned her back against the closed door and held her hand to her heart.

"Catie, is that you, dear?" Mrs. Richardson asked as she walked into the foyer with a lit candle.

"Yes, mother, I am home."

"Did you have a good time?"

"Oh yes, it was beautiful. It was good to see Charlotte, too."

"That's splendid. You will have to tell me about it in the morning. You best go and get some sleep now."

"Good night, mother."

"Good night, sweetheart."

Catherine went upstairs to her bedroom where Molly was waiting to help her undress. After wishing Molly good night, she climbed into bed and stared at the ceiling. "I love you, James," she whispered to the darkness.


	3. Courting Catherine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well that came out of nowhere

A couple days had passed after Charlotte's dance, and Catherine had not heard from James since. That afternoon while she was at the market with Molly their housemaid, however, Andrew Gillette visited with Mrs. Richardson privately and without Catherine's or James’ knowing in order to inquire as to whether he was permitted to court Catherine or not. Mrs. Richardson was a bit surprised at the unexpectedness of his request, but warmly and happily gave him her permission. He thanked her and went happily on his way back to tell James the exciting news. Passing Catherine on the way, he rushed up to her.

"Good afternoon, Catherine. How are you today?"

"I'm well, Andrew, thank you. And you?"

"I am ecstatic!" he beamed. "I would like to speak longer, but I must be getting back. It was nice seeing you again."

"It was nice seeing you, too."

"Until next time."

"Yes, until next time," Catherine smiled at the jolly lad as he ran off.

"What do you suppose that was all about, miss?" Molly asked as she rejoined Catherine after observing the exchange of words, which had just taken place.

"I'm not really sure. He certainly can be spry at times, but he has never been so forward with me before."

"I wonder what has gotten into the lad," Molly said as she and Catherine began making their way home.

"I'm quite curious as well."

Andrew walked quickly down to the docks where he was sure he would find James. Although Andrew was a fairly outspoken and outgoing lad, he never did voice his admiration of Catherine to another soul, not even James. It surprised even Andrew himself that he had kept quiet about it for so long and that he had to summon up the courage to even ask Mrs. Richardson in the first place. When James made no mention of feeling any attraction towards Catherine after the evening of Charlotte’s dance, Andrew assumed that the two were merely friends and that it would be fine with James if Andrew decided to pursue Catherine. After asking a couple fellow midshipmen as to where James was, he walked proudly over to where James stood.

“What did you do now, joker?” James asked suspicious of Andrew’s grin and rosy cheeks expecting that he would have to get his friend out of trouble once again.

“I’m not in trouble, if that is what you’re wondering,” Andrew glared feeling a bit hurt by James’ insult, “but I do have some exciting news,” he grinned once again but even wider.

“You overheard some of the admiralty talking about how we are a couple of fine, talented sailors and that they’re going to promote us both to the position of lieutenant without making us go through the boring testing process?”

“No, you ninny!” Andrew laughed. “I happened to stop by Catherine’s house this afternoon and spoke to Mrs. Richardson.”

“Oh, did she invite us over for supper later this afternoon then? Catherine mentioned that she hoped to invite the both of us over one day.”

“Nope, nothing about supper was mentioned. Actually, I stopped there to ask Mrs. Richardson about something I’ve been dying to ask her for quite a while now.”

“Come on, now, what happened?” James began to grow a little impatient with Andrew’s game.

“Fine, I’ll tell you! I asked Mrs. Richardson if I could court Catherine and she gave me her permission!” Andrew nearly jumped up and down with joy.

“Oh, I see,” James replied unenthusiastically.

“You never mentioned that you fancy her or anything. You don’t mind, do you?” he asked noting his friend’s tone.

“No, I don’t mind at all,” James lied. “I’m happy for you,” he forced a smile on his face.

“You have no idea how relieved I feel! I can’t even begin to remember when I started to fancy Catie.”

“You're using a nickname for her already?” James asked slightly disgusted at his friend’s newfound love.

“Yes, she has always been my darling Catie,” Andrew sighed. “Anyways, I just cannot believe that I kept quiet about it for so long.”

"Nor can I."

Andrew continued to ramble on about how and why he kept his love for Catherine secret while James continued about his work pretending to listen to his best friend. At that time, James easily could have also asked for permission to court Catherine, but he did not want to risk hurting Andrew or their friendship. Feeling mixed emotions, James wished that he had not lied to Andrew and that he admitted that he did have feelings for Catherine, but he also tried to reassure himself that it was probably just a passing fancy that Andrew was experiencing. It would not be the first time Andrew had expressed such a boyish attraction to the opposite sex, and James hoped that before they both knew it, it would be over or that Andrew would find someone else to adore. _“By then, I will be promoted to lieutenant and will ask for permission to court Catherine,”_ James reasoned.

True, Andrew had many times chased after girls throughout their teens, but what James seemed to forget was that they were now older, wiser, and more experienced after seeing much of the good and evil of the world. By this time, they had both had to kill or be killed during their service in the Royal Navy. Neither would say that they were proud of having to take a man’s life, but they knew that sometimes there was no avoiding it. They had seen and heard stories of the horrors of crimes done to harm the innocent. Yes, some who sailed under a pirate flag or wore a pirate brand were only in it for the wealth, the adventure, the buried treasure, or the government endorsed commission as a privateer. Others, however, caused for many, even women and children, undue suffering. Having seen these things, James and Andrew were in fact forced to grow up a little faster than most of their peers pursuing other vocations. James certainly felt it within himself, but given Andrew’s personality and light-hearted spirit, it was difficult for him to see any change in his friend. To James, he was always just the same Andrew he had known since they first met.

Later that day after he had completed his duties and had some supper, Andrew appeared on the doorstep of the Richardson residence asking to see Catherine. Molly let him inside before going to find Catherine who was working on embroidering some handkerchiefs with her mother. “Miss Catherine, Midshipman Gillette is here to see you, dear. Shall I show him in?”

“Oh, don’t you mean Midshipman Norrington?” Catherine asked hoping that James had come to see her and that Molly had mixed the two lads up.

“No, it’s not James. I’m sure it’s Andrew that is here.”

“Catie, there is no way anyone could mix those two up,” Mrs. Richardson laughed. “Molly, go ahead and show the lad in so he can see her. I’m sure he’s been driving his mates mad due to his excitement.”

“Mother, what in the world is going on?” Catherine asked as Molly left the room.

“Andrew asked me earlier today if he could court you, so I’d imagine that’s what he’s here for,” she smiled.

A few seconds passed before a red-faced Andrew stood somewhat nervously in the doorway holding his hat in his freckled hands. Although excited all day about the idea of going courting, he now found himself quite nervous and could only manage to squeak out a quick, “Hello,” before bowing.

“Andrew, dear, don’t be so bashful,” Mrs. Richardson giggled. “Come in and sit with us for a little while. Then perhaps you and Catherine could take a nice walk.”

Andrew took a seat across from the two women and tried to relax. Mrs. Richardson decided to help him out by starting the conversation, and before they knew it, Andrew was babbling on as usual while looking intently at Catherine. After some time had passed and Mrs. Richardson felt that she had helped Andrew to break the ice, she suggested that he and Catherine should go for a walk.

“The weather is lovely this evening,” Catherine sighed as she walked arm-in-arm with Andrew down the lane.

“Yes, it is,” he smiled, “but you are lovelier, Catie.”

“Oh, why thank you, Andrew,” she smiled and replied a bit surprised at Andrew’s speech. She never thought of Andrew being the romantic type, never even thought he admired her in that sense, and certainly never suspected that he had a pet name for her.

“Do you know what your eyes remind me of?”

“No, what?”

“I think they look like the blue sky during a solar eclipse with glints of sunlight escaping from behind the moon. I have only seen a solar eclipse once, and it was at sea. When I’m with you, though, I have a constant reminder,” he reached over and patted her small hand as it rested on his arm.

“You’ve spent a lot of time at sea, haven’t you, Andrew?” she asked trying to change the subject feeling a little overwhelmed by his gushy sentiments.

“Yes, between sailing to France and Ireland to visit my relatives and sailing in service of the navy, I’ve spent much time out at sea.”

“What is it like being out there with no land in sight? Is it frightening?”

“It can be frightening sometimes, but most of the time it is beautiful. I especially like to go out on deck at night and look at the thousands of stars in the sky. Being out there can be lonely, though. Yes, I have my shipmates and James to keep me company, but I would like to share some of these things with someone else, someone special. It would also be nice to be able to look forward to having someone waiting to welcome me home with open arms,” he admitted.

“I’d imagine it would be nice to have a home with a family to come home to after being out at sea for long periods of time,” Catherine reflected.

“Yes, it would be. At first when I joined the navy, my parents and siblings were there to welcome me home, but then I had to transfer,” he sighed. “You know, as much as I want a place to call home and someone there to be waiting for me, I could never do what others do. Some of the men try to find their comfort in brothels or pubs, but I could never do that. I want that person waiting for me to be someone I love. I want them to be someone that loves me and knows me, but lately I think that no one really knows the real Andrew. I think that even James thinks I’m nothing but an immature jester.”

“Why do you think that?”

“That’s basically what he called me this afternoon, actually,” he exaggerated a bit.

“How awful of James!”

“Well, if he said it, it must be true as he is always right,” Andrew snickered a bit sarcastically.

“Andrew,” Catherine stopped walking and had him face her, “you’re not just an immature jester. You are a very kind and honorable man that enjoys life and having a bit of fun now and then. You are human and not just some kind of machine set on comedy. You cry, hurt, shout, laugh, dream, hope, and feel like everyone else does. If you were immature, you never would have said the kind of things you just told me. Never have I heard such sincerity from the heart of any man, and now I have ever-greater respect for you. You are a fine man, Drew,” she smiled.

“Thank you,” he smiled back due to her compliments and the fact that she called him something other than just Andrew. “Do you suppose we should start heading back now?”

“Yes, we probably should, but I would like to do this again sometime soon.”

“Really?”

“Absolutely. I really enjoyed it, and I’ll admit that I liked getting to see the side of you that most don’t bother trying to see,” she said causing him to blush a bit.

The young couple made their way back to Catherine’s home, and after exchanging a few more words, Andrew gently kissed her hand before saying his good-byes and making sure she got inside all right. Catherine walked inside and after hanging up her hat, she went to find her mother.

“Did you have a nice time with Andrew?” Mrs. Richardson greeted her daughter as she walked into the room where she had been sitting.

“Yes, it was very nice getting to talk with him,” Catherine replied as she sat down.

“Then why do you look troubled, dear?”

“Troubled? Oh, no, I’m not troubled,” she fibbed. “I’m just thinking about something.”

“Well, you should probably go and get ready for bed. You need to get some rest.”

“Yes, mum,” Catherine said and went upstairs to her bedroom to get ready. After getting into her nightgown, she sat and began to brush her hair as she did often before getting into bed. She sighed as she thought of her predicament. _“I thought James cared for me, but I don’t want to hurt Andrew. How could James say something so awful to his own best friend? I thought I loved James, but now I think I might love Andrew. I don’t know what to do!”_


	4. A Sudden Proposal

Despite Catherine’s qualms and confusion about her feelings towards James and Andrew, she quickly found herself coming to develop a deep fondness for Andrew. If asked, though, she would readily admit that she still felt love for James, but she also decided that despite her love for him, things just were not meant to be at least for the time being. She reasoned that James simply was not ready or even looking to marry anytime soon and that he would rather focus on his career. While trying to be sympathetic about James’ apparent decision, she still felt a sense of scorn towards him especially considering his affectionate actions the night of her cousin’s engagement ball. She was of the opinion that he had led her to believe that he felt something for her only to leave her pining for him. In spite of her dismay with James and her growing affection for Andrew, deep down Catherine truly hoped, as James did, that Andrew would only fancy her for a little while and that she would still have the chance of someday becoming Mrs. James Norrington.

Mrs. Richardson grew to become fond of Andrew as much as Catherine did, certainly expressed her positive opinion that he was a smart match for Catherine, and greatly enjoyed his visits. In fact, she enjoyed having him around so much that she began to regularly invite the lad over for supper. One day, however, she decided that it would be nice if James came to supper as well.

“Mother, I saw there was an extra table setting out. Molly must have accidentally put it out, so I put it away,” Catherine said that afternoon as she came in after doing some work in the garden.

“Sorry to make you do the extra work, darling, but please put it back,” Mrs. Richardson requested as she took a loaf of bread out of the oven.

“But I thought only Andrew was coming. Who else did you invite?”

“I invited James Norrington. We’ve had Andrew over many times, and we haven’t seen James in a while, so I thought it would be nice for him to come along as well. Besides, we never did thank him properly for being so good to you when he escorted you that night.”

“Yes, I suppose you’re right,” Catherine sighed nervously as she went to put back the place setting. As she helped her mother and Molly prepare the meal, she became anxious about the idea of James coming to supper. She had not seen him since he escorted her or since Andrew began courting her, so she was concerned about how he may act around her. She was also worried about how she would act considering the inner conflict she was currently experiencing over James and Andrew. After going to her room to make sure she didn’t have any dirt on her clothes from working in the garden earlier that day and coming back downstairs, someone was at the front door knocking.

“Catie, answer the door please!” her mother called from the kitchen. “Molly and I have our hands full at the moment!”

Catherine walked slowly to the front door, turned the knob, and slowly opened the door expecting to see both of the young men only to be greeted solely by James’ nervous gaze. After both stared at each other nervously and quite awkwardly, Catherine moved aside to let him inside.

“Where’s Andrew?” Catherine finally managed to ask.

“He sends his apologies, but he is going to be a little late. He was not quite finished with his duties, so he told me to go ahead and come without him,” James quickly explained.

“I see,” she responded a bit coldly and looked away causing him to frown slightly although he would not readily admit that her behavior hurt him.

“Oh, James!” Mrs. Richardson clapped her hands together as she walked into the foyer greeting him. “I was starting to think that you had become a deserter and ran off from your duties,” she laughed. “We haven’t seen you since you escorted Catherine, but I imagine you’ve been quite busy. Andrew told me that you are going to try to take the lieutenant’s exam soon.”

“Yes, as of late, I have been working very hard to prepare for the exam,” he explained.

“Well, I’m sure that you will do well, dear,” she smiled, “and better yet you will receive a higher pay.”

“I will, and I would like to start saving so that perhaps I could possibly buy or build a home of my own soon.”

“That is a wonderful idea, James. Then all you will need is a lovely little wife so you can settle down. Well, I had better get back to the kitchen to help Molly. Why don’t the two of you go and wait in the sitting room for Andrew,” she suggested.

“Miss?” James offered his arm and led her into the sitting room. After the two sat silently for a couple awkward minutes, he tried to stir up some conversation. “How have you been, Catherine?”

“Quite well, thank you. And yourself? I’d imagine you have been very busy and don’t have much time to socialize, do you?” she asked.

“No, it is difficult to find free time to do much of anything let alone socialize. Passing the lieutenant’s exam is very important to me.”

“Well, I suppose that is what happens when one is ambitious and chooses to achieve much in their career. They cannot spend as much time with the people they care about as they would like,” she said somewhat harshly. Even though James had never told her his intentions concerning his career or pursuing her, he felt somewhat guilty and hurt by what she said even though he knew it was true. More than ever, he was starting to regret not going after her when he had the chance.

“It looks like I got here just in time,” the pair was suddenly greeted by Andrew standing in the doorway.

“Drew,” Catherine smiled before getting up and giving him a hug. James did not know what stung worse: the way she was treating him or the way she was acting towards Andrew.

“Your mother says supper is ready, and I sure am famished!”

“Oh, then you did get here just in time,” Catherine laughed before going on ahead to the dining room.

“Well, are you coming or are you just going to sit there and brood?” Andrew teased James who was still seated.

“No, I’m coming.”

“Are you alright, James?” he asked noticing James’ lackluster demeanor.

“Oh, I’m fine, just a bit tired,” he lied.

“Well, come on, then. Eat something and just relax a while. You’re pushing yourself a little too hard over this exam,” Andrew showed concern for his best friend.

“Perhaps you’re right,” James said getting up from his seat and following Andrew to the dining room.

After the group had eaten their meal, they went to sit outside in the garden for a little while. As usual, Andrew took center stage joking and babbling on but even more so because James was in no mood to talk. It did not help matters that James perceived Catherine and Andrew as being excessively flirtatious with each other. Finally not being able to take seeing the couple being affectionate any longer and due to developing a tension headache, James decided to go home.

Rubbing his forehead, he thanked Mrs. Richardson for the meal and explained, “I have a bit of a headache and think I should go home and lie down.” Andrew and Catherine did not even hear him say he was leaving.

“Oh, you poor dear. Perhaps you’re working yourself too hard. Go on and get some rest,” Mrs. Richardson patted his arm and smiled. “I’ll see you out if you would like.”

“No, that is quite alright. I can see myself out,” he got up and went to go inside to get his hat and leave.

“Catherine, honey,” she got her daughter’s attention.

“Hmm?”

“James is leaving. You really should go and make sure he finds his way out and tell him good-bye,” she sternly suggested.

“Yes, mum,” Catherine sighed before leaving Andrew to entertain her mother. She walked quickly and ran inside the house to make sure that she caught up with James. When she did, it was then that she noticed the look of pain on his face and that he was rubbing one of his temples due to his throbbing headache. Temporarily forgetting her scorn for him, she showed concern by taking his hand and asking, “James, what’s wrong? Are you alright?”

“Just a headache, that’s all. I’ll be fine. I suppose I just have a lot on my mind right now and need to get some rest.”

“Because of the exam?”

“Actually, I’m not worried at all about the exam.”

“Then what is bothering you?”

“Oh, nothing… Well, at least nothing you need to know and worry yourself about,” he smiled sadly before putting his hat on. “I hope you have a nice evening, Catherine,” he walked out the front door.

“You, too, James,” she sighed and watched him walk down the lane wishing she had not been so cruel to him earlier. _“He doesn’t want me to worry about him. Perhaps he still does care for me,”_ she thought and felt that maybe there was hope of them being together after all.

“He’ll be fine,” Andrew suddenly came up behind her startling her slightly. “Would you like to go for a walk, Catie?”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, James will be okay. He gets those headaches every once in a while when he’s upset or worried about something. He’ll sleep it off and be fine by morning.”

“I see,” she reached down and took Andrew’s hand. “Well, then let’s go for a walk, I suppose,” she smiled.

The couple walked and talked as usual for quite a while discussing the events of the day. Catherine noticed that it was starting to get dark and suggested that perhaps they should turn back for the evening.

“Just a little farther, Catie.”

“I don’t know, Drew. I don’t want mother to get worried about us.”

“Please?” Andrew pouted.

“Very well, a little farther, but then we should start heading back,” Catherine laughed giving in to his behavior.

By this time, the pair had reached the outskirts of town where the sea’s waves violently met the cliffs below. Catherine had been there before many times, but this time in particular seemed different as she noted she had never been there at dusk. She smiled at the beauty of twilight mixed with the glittering stars overhead and the sea below. Andrew led her a little bit more to where there was a makeshift bench and had her sit there with him.

“Drew, this is so lovely,” she smiled holding his hand.

“I’ve always wanted to bring you here on a night like this, but I wanted to save it for a special time,” he smiled back.

“What do you mean a special time?”

With that, Andrew slipped off the bench and onto one knee taking both of her hands in his. “Catherine Mary Richardson, you are beautiful inside and out. Would you do the honor of joining me in marriage and be my wife?” he asked a little nervously but with a grin on his face.

“Oh, dear,” Catherine said after fully processing what had just been asked of her. “Andrew!” she gasped and stared at him a bit surprised at his sudden proposal and trying to figure out what she should do.

“Darling?” he asked worried that she was about to say “no.”

“Well…” she hesitated for a moment, but seeing Andrew’s sincerity and anticipation she finally answered, “Yes!” much to Andrew’s relief.

“Oh, Catie, darling!” he stood up helping her also to her feet before embracing her and kissing her for the first time. “I love you, Catherine,” he beamed.

“I love you, too, Andrew,” she smiled back.

"I'm sorry that I haven't gotten you a ring just yet. This has all happened so quickly, and I want to save my money to buy you something proper."

"That's quite alright. That's not what is most important," she stroked his flushed cheek.

After admiring the scenery a bit more, the couple happily walked back to her home and told Mrs. Richardson the good news. “Heavens, Andrew,” Mrs. Richardson laughed, “when you asked my permission a few weeks ago, I didn’t think you would propose so suddenly.”

“I was too excited!” he smiled.

“Well, it looks like we have a wedding to plan!” Mrs. Richardson hugged her daughter and soon to be son-in-law.

Despite the excitement and her love for Andrew, Catherine cried herself to sleep that unable to tell whether she had just made the biggest mistake of her life or not…


	5. A Wedding and a Funeral

"Mother, are you feeling alright?" Catherine asked finding Mrs. Richardson sitting in the kitchen with her head down.

"Hm?" she lifted her head. "Oh, yes, just a bit tired I suppose with all of the excitement going on as of late."

"Why don't you go on and get some rest then? I can take care of things and help Molly. Really I can," she insisted.

"Very well, I will go and take a nap I suppose. Are you sure you can handle-," Mrs. Richardson began to ask as she stood up before pausing to catch her balance. "Oh dear, I must be more tired than I thought I was."

"Mum, you are not well at all," Catherine somewhat scolded her as she felt her mother's forehead. "You're forehead is warm, and you're shivering to death. You must get to bed immediately. I will tell Molly to send for Dr. Blythe right away."

"There's no need to send for him, dear."

"But you must be examined. You cannot be ill so close to Charlotte’s wedding. It would be a shame for you to miss the ceremony due to your stubbornness."

"Darling, sit down a moment while I explain," Thomasin took Catherine's hand. “Catherine, there’s no need for you to send for Dr. Blythe because he’s already been here. Several times actually.”

“What do mean? Mother, what is going on?”

“Catie, honey, I am very ill, and there is nothing that can be done.”

“I don’t understand. You’ve been fine all this time, haven’t you?”

“I’m sorry to have hidden this from you. It was terribly wrong of me. I found a lump on my breast several months ago and ignored it, but then I started feeling ill a couple of months ago. So about a month ago, I finally consulted Dr. Blythe. He thinks I have a disease. He called it cancer. I’ve never heard of it before, but nonetheless, he said there is nothing that can be done about it. I had hoped that I could have waited until after the wedding to tell you about it, but it appears the illness is progressing much more quickly than Dr. Blythe thought it would. I’m so sorry, Catherine,” Mrs. Richardson apologized with tears in her eyes.

“Mother, you can’t leave me,” Catherine began to sob and cling to her mother.

“You will be fine, child. Andrew will take good care of you. He promised he would when he asked for my permission for you to be married. I have entrusted him with your care. Do you trust him as well?”

“Yes, I trust him, but I still don’t want you to leave me. I always get left behind. First it was Violet, then papa, and now you. I do not think I will be able to bear it.”

“Catherine Mary Richardson, you will be able to bear it. Andrew will help you, and most importantly, God will help you. You forget that death cannot keep us separated forever. We will see each other again as long as you remain faithful. Remember when your grandmother died?”

“Yes, a little. I was very young.”

“When she died, I felt some of the same feelings you’re feeling, but at the same time I was happy for her. She had been sick for so long before she passed on, but when she died, I knew that she would not be in pain anymore and that she would be with her Lord. Catie, when the time comes, I know it will be difficult, but you must let me go. I would have you smile again. No more despair.”

“I will try, mum. I will try my best.”

“That’s a good girl,” Mrs. Richardson kissed her daughter on the forehead. “I will go and get some rest now.”

“If it is alright with you, once you’re settled in bed, I think I am going to go for a walk. I will tell Molly, too.”

“That is alright, just be careful, dear.”

“Yes, mother.”

Mrs. Richardson carefully made her way up the stairs to get some rest. Sadly, it would be one of the last times she would walk up those stairs. After getting her hat and a shawl and telling Molly that she needed to spend some time alone, Catherine walked outside and made her way down the lane and towards the street. Unsure as to where exactly she wanted to go, she began walking slowly, aimlessly, and even a bit mindlessly as she had so much to think about already. Before she knew it, she found herself near the docks and unaware of the fact that Andrew was there.

“What has brought my beauty down here today?” she heard a familiar voice behind her as a freckle spotted hand reached in front of her and its index finger gently touched the tip of her nose. Turning around and running smack dab into him, Catherine latched onto Andrew and began to cry into his chest. “Catie, dear, did I do something wrong?”

“No, Andrew, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Well then, what is troubling you?” he asked as he had her look him in the eyes.

“It’s mother. She’s... She’s dying, Andrew.”

“Catherine, a rún!” he exclaimed in Irish Gaelic, a habit he had despite the language being outlawed. “I’m so sorry, darling. How long have you known?”

"She just told me. What am I going to do when she's gone?"

“Catherine, darling, do not worry. I will take care of you. I promise you on pain of death that I will not leave you alone during your time of utmost grief.” In order to emphasize his promise, Andrew sealed his word with a gentle kiss ignoring the society’s standards of propriety.

“Thank you so much, Andrew.”

“You’re welcome, Catie. I love you terribly, you know.”

“Yes, I know you do. I love you, too.”

“You best be going on home. I have a little more work to finish up here at the docks, but when I am done I will come by and see how you and your mother are doing.”

“She will be glad to see you,” Catherine managed to smile tenderly. “I will see you later then.”

“Yes, I will see you then. Take care, dear,” he said before placing another chaste kiss on her cheek and smiling. “Good bye.”

“Bye.”

Catherine found her mother in bed resting. Quietly making her way into the room and to her mother’s bedside, it was then that Catherine heard her mother struggling to breathe in her sleep. Frowning, Catherine gently pulled up her mother’s quilt and covered her before going downstairs to help Molly finish supper. True to his word, Andrew later came to visit.

“Andrew, please have some food,” Catherine insisted when he admitted he had not eaten yet.

“Miss Catherine made most of it,” Molly popped her head in from the kitchen.

“Really?” Andrew smiled.

“Yes, I did, but with Molly’s help, of course.”

“Well then, I will join you. I need to see what I’m getting myself into,” he teased causing Catherine to smile a little and blush.

“Oh, Drew. Please sit down. I will bring you out a plateful.”

Catherine sat nervously refusing to touch her food until Andrew took a few bites. She watched as he cut his meat and forked a piece before placing it in his mouth and chewing it. Feeling like she could burst, Catherine watched as he swallowed and sat there a second. Finally he smiled, “It is excellent, Catherine. I’m looking forward to sampling the rest of it.”

“Thank heavens!” she sighed a sigh of relief. “I was worried that you did not like it!” she said causing him to laugh.

“Don’t worry so much, Catie,” he reached over and took her hand. “You are going to make a wonderful wife.”

After they had finished their meal, Catherine went upstairs to see whether her mother was awake or not and if she was willing to see Andrew. Mrs. Richardson was in fact awake, and although she was now in her nightgown, she was more than happy that Andrew had come to see her and her daughter.

“Yes, Catherine, bring him up,” she smiled before shooing Catherine off to fetch Andrew.

Andrew shyly knocked on the door. “Mrs. Richardson?”

“Come in, Andrew. Where did Catherine go?”

“She’s making some tea for us,” he replied as he took a seat in the chair beside the bed. “How are you feeling?”

“Very weak. Catherine did explain to you the situation, didn’t she?”

“Yes, briefly over supper.”

“Andrew, I do not think I will be here on this earth much longer. Charlotte’s wedding is soon, and I want you to go with Catherine. She is going to need your strength in these times to come. Do you understand what is being asked of you?”

“Yes, ma’am, I do. Do not worry, Mrs. Richardson. I love your daughter dreadfully, and I could not bear the thought of leaving her alone in her time of need. I will take care of her.”

“You are a good man, Andrew. In the short time I’ve known you, you’ve become like a son to me. I would not ask for anyone else other than you for my daughter.”

“Thank you,” Andrew said with tears gathering in his eyes.

Sure enough, Mrs. Richardson’s health quickly began to wane as Charlotte’s wedding approached. True to his word, Andrew escorted Catherine to the wedding.

“The ceremony was beautiful. Wasn’t it, Andrew?” Catherine smiled as she and Andrew sat on a bench in her relatives’ sun drenched garden during the reception.

“It was,” he replied taking her hand. He turned and gazed at her, and with eyes full of love, he said, “ _You_ are beautiful.”

“Andrew,” she sighed before leaning in and kissing him.

“How much longer must I wait until I can have you as my wife?”

“Well, we have not really made any plans yet.”

“Must there be so much planning?”

“I suppose there doesn’t have to be.”

“Then, please, let us marry soon. I can no longer bear waiting.”

“To be honest, I can’t either. Very well, then. We will get married soon. Let us speak to the vicar on Monday,” she smiled.

“Thank you, love,” he kissed her hand.

“Let us go and see Charlotte, and then let’s leave.”

“Are you feeling unwell?”

“No, I am just very tired, and I do not want to be away from mother too long. I do not think she will be with us very much longer.” The couple made their way inside and found the newlyweds.

“Oh, Catherine, dear, I’m married!” Charlotte practically squealed with excitement.

“Congratulations! I wish the very best to the both of you,” Catherine smiled.

“Andrew, I am glad to see you here with Catherine. How are you doing? We missed you at the engagement ball.”

“I am doing well, and congratulations, of course.”

“Charlotte, I have wonderful news,” Catherine possessively clung to Andrew’s arm. “Andrew and I are to be married!”

“Oh, dear, what a surprise! When are you going to get married?”

“Sometime very soon, actually. We’re quite anxious to be together with mother being ill and all. Andrew has been such a help to us in this time of difficulty.”

"I'm so sorry to hear about your mother, Miss Catherine," John said as he joined his new wife.

"Yes, Catie, how long do you think she has left?" Charlotte asked sadly.

"It is difficult to say. Dr. Blythe feels she may pass within the week. I feel horrible saying this, but I hope it happens soon. I cannot bear seeing her in so much pain."

"It is understandable. It is difficult seeing a loved one hurting. My father suffered much before he passed away," John noted.

"We will be here for you when the time comes, dear. If you need anything, do not hesitate to contact us," Charlotte hugged Catherine.

"Thank you. Well, we best get going. I do not like being away from mother for so long, and something within my heart tells me I need to be getting home right away."

"I understand. We won't keep you then. Have a safe journey home."

Andrew helped Catherine in the carriage and told the driver to take them home with the safest speed possible sensing that Catherine was worried. He noted the fear in her eyes and the pallor of her skin. He quietly reached over and took her shaking hand into his own after which she began to shed some silent tears.

"It's alright, love. I'm here," he whispered and pulled her close to him.

"Something tells me that mummy isn't going to make it through the night. I don't want her to be suffering anymore, but now that the time draws near I'm frightened. Things won't ever be the same."

"That's part of life. Things are always changing. Don't worry, though, because although difficult, change is not always a bad thing."

The pair rode home silently the rest of the way except for some occasional sniffling on Catherine's part and some "shh" sounds on Andrew's. Finally the carriage pulled in front of Catherine’s home behind another carriage.

“That’s Dr. Blythe’s carriage,” Catherine noted before running inside with Andrew behind her. She made her way quickly upstairs to her mother’s bedroom and found Molly waiting outside. “Molly, what is happening?” she asked breathlessly.

“I sent for Dr. Blythe because your mother started acting delirious. He is examining her now.”

Catherine and Andrew sat down with Molly and patiently waited for Dr. Blythe to finish. Andrew suggested that Catherine go and change into something more comfortable during their wait, so she and Molly went quickly to her bedroom so she could change her dress. Just as the two women were returning, Dr. Blythe opened the door and stepped out.

“Dr. Blythe, what is wrong with my mother?” Catherine inquired.

“Child, I’m afraid that she will not be with us much longer. While difficult to estimate such things, she may pass sometime tonight or tomorrow. The disease has progressed very quickly. I’m very sorry, but there is nothing more that can be done. I have sedated her to reduce her suffering.”

“Thank you, sir, for your services,” Andrew stood up and shook the man’s hand before he left.

Catherine stayed at her mother’s bedside late into the night. Despite her protests, Andrew refused to leave her side. Sometime early that bright Sunday morning, Mrs. Richardson passed away peacefully in her sleep. Much to her surprise, Catherine felt a mixture of relief and happiness knowing that her mother was no longer in pain.

“She’s in heaven with your papa now,” Andrew gently put his hands on her shoulders as she sat drinking some tea in the kitchen.

“You’re right, Drew, and she is happy. I just can’t believe that she’s gone.”

“I know. You’ve been so brave,” he said sitting next to her after which she started to cry quietly.

Catherine managed to keep her composure during the funeral services, and Andrew remained with her throughout. He became worried that she was not grieving properly, but that night while at her home making sure she would be all right, he found her in Mrs. Richardson’s room on the bed crying much to his relief. He made his way to the bed and sat beside her gently stroking her quivering back.

"Catherine, it is perfectly normal to cry so."

"Andrew..."

"It's alright, love. I'm here, shh."

"It hurts so much."

"I know it does. I know."

"Will it always feel like this?"

"It will not hurt this much, but it will never go completely away either."

"The tears don't hurt as much as the ache does."

"It is alright to cry. Things will be better, but the separation will always hurt."

"Please don't leave. I do not want to be here alone tonight."

“I won’t leave you,” he said gently stroking her tear stained cheek. “I wouldn’t leave you for the world. I can stay in the guest room overnight.”

“No, please, stay with me in my room.”

“But Catie, it’s not proper.”

“I know, but I just want you to hold me. That is all I want. I just want to know you’re with me.”

“Well, I suppose given the circumstances that will be alright. We just will not discuss this with others. Come, you need to get some sleep.” Andrew helped her off the bed before carrying her to her bedroom. She quickly changed into her nightgown behind a screen and turned down the blankets and sheets.

“You’re not going to sleep in all that, are you?” she somewhat shyly asked eyeing Andrew in his fully clothed state.

“Um, I suppose not,” he answered feeling a bit awkward. As much as he was anticipating being intimate with Catherine on a new level and as much as he tended to be a flirt, Andrew surprisingly was feeling a bit shy and guilty about the idea of being in a state of undress in front of his beloved fiancée before being officially wed to her. Despite his bashfulness at the situation, he began to take some of the layers of his clothing off with his hands trembling slightly. A bit to his relief, Catherine went about getting ready for bed as usual instead of intently watching him. He finally got down to his breeches and shirt and decided it would be best to stop there before climbing into the bed and waiting for Catherine.

“I’m so exhausted,” she sighed as she sat down on the side of the bed and then swung her legs up and under the covers.

“You’ve had a long and difficult day, darling. You need some sleep.”

“You’re right,” she said as she pulled up the covers and snuggled up next to him.

“I love you, Catherine,” he said pulling her close to him.

“I love you, too, Andrew. Thank you for staying with me.”

“Anything for my love.”


	6. Midshipman and Mrs. Andrew Gillette

The first few days after Mrs. Richardson’s death were the hardest for Catherine, but Andrew kept true to his word and supported her through it all. Every evening he would stop by for supper and to see if she needed help with anything around the house. After finishing, they would sit and talk of the plans they needed to make so they could get married. They both agreed that it would not be proper for them to live together without being married and that even when Andrew stayed with Catherine overnight it was not the best of ideas. This only made Andrew want to speed up the process even more because he wanted to be able to take care of Catherine and have her live with him.

“Since we are trying to make plans quickly, we need to decide who to invite,” Catherine noted as they sat together in front of the fireplace.

“Well, we technically only really need a small number of people to be witnesses, but I would like to invite my family. I do not think my mother would appreciate me getting married without her knowing,” he smiled.

“Yes, I would like to be able to meet your family. What are they like?”

“My father is a very lighthearted man. He always enjoys having a good time. One of his favorite things to do is to provoke my mother with teasing and jokes. Being Irish and a red head, she has a wonderful temper. One time she even chased him around the kitchen with a rolling pin,” he laughed.

“Oh my! What did your father think?”

“He thought it was funny. You see, he gets her angry, but then they both end up laughing and having fun.”

“So you get your lighthearted nature from your father and your red hair and passion from your mother.”

“Exactly.”

“What about your siblings?”

“I have two younger sisters. Rebecca is about a year younger than you. She is a bit on the shy side, but she is quite intelligent. Sarah is ten and has the curliest reddest hair I have ever seen. She is certainly a handful, but she loves when I sit her down on my lap and tell her stories.”

“Oh, Drew, I can’t wait to meet them. They sound like they are pleasant to be around.”

“Are you going to invite your brother and sister?” he asked.

“Yes, I will invite them. Emma wrote me a letter explaining that her husband is away and that she is caring for her father-in-law who is quite ill. She said she felt horrible not coming to the funeral, but I suppose there was nothing she could do about it. I still do not know why Jonathan did not come. I will still invite him anyways, and of course I will invite my aunt, uncle, Charlotte, and John.”

After Mrs. Richardson’s death, it then occurred to Catherine that since both of her parents were now deceased, by law her brother Jonathan was to inherit the estate. As she had told Andrew that one night, she had not seen or heard from her brother and soon began to fear that he would suddenly show up and boot her out of house and home. One afternoon as she and Molly prepared to have tea, there was a knock at the front door filling Catherine with a sense of dread. Molly went to answer the door and when she came back a man was with her.

“Catherine?” he asked.

“Jonathan.”

“I will take my tea elsewhere and let the two of you be alone,” Molly said before pouring a cup of tea and leaving the room.

“I suppose you are here to collect your inheritance. If you want, I can start packing my things.”

“Catherine, what are you thinking, ninny? Let me explain myself, please,” he had her sit back down. “I know that we have never been close. For that matter, we do not even really know each other, but you are still my sister, my own flesh and blood. When mother wrote to me explaining her illness and the situation, I began to think about what to do about the estate. To be honest, I do not want this house or land, but I will not sell it and put you out on the streets either. You can stay here until you and Midshipman Gillette are married and have a house of your own. I will then sell the house and land and divide the profits between you, Emma, and myself.”

Catherine was a bit surprised at her brother’s gracious offer. “Thank you, Jonathan. That works so well for me. Between the profits and the extra money Andrew will receive when he gets promoted in a few months, we will certainly be able to afford a small house of our own. Oh, I am so relieved!” She was also pleasantly surprised when he offered to help her and Andrew complete their wedding plans.

"From what mother told me about your fiancé in her letters, he sounds like a good man and like someone who will take good care of you. Considering she noted how happy the two of you are together, I would like to help both of you get married as soon as possible especially given your current circumstances,” he offered. “It’s not good for a girl so young to be in such a big house alone.”

With Jonathan’s help, Andrew and Catherine finally had all of the arrangements completed. Charlotte came a week early to help Catherine with her dress and other various small details. Although quite excited, Catherine also started to become a bit nervous about her big day.

"Stop squirming, Catie, or I'll have to stick you with a pin!" Charlotte laughed while trying to get Catherine's dress fitted on her.

"Sorry, it's just that I'm-"

"Nervous," Charlotte finished her sentence for her.

"Were you nervous, too?"

"Of course I was nervous. I think it's only natural to be anxious. You want to look your best for your fiancé, and it really is such a big step to be taking getting married and all. You, uh, do know what to expect considering, well...” Charlotte was unsure how to bring up the topic.

“You mean the wedding night?”

“Yes, that.”

“Well, I know what to expect. Molly and I have discussed it, but I’m having mixed feelings about the idea of it. Definitely anxiety is one of them, but at the same time I’m kind of looking forward to it. I do want to be intimate with Andrew in all manners, and I trust him to take care of everything. Heavens, I never thought I would ever speak of such things,” she blushed.

“Don’t worry, I felt the same way, and there’s no reason to be embarrassed speaking about it. It’s a part of life, and a very beautiful part at that. God did create it after all.”

“Yes, I suppose you’re right.”

Besides the approaching date of Andrew and Catherine’s wedding, there was also another reason for all to celebrate. Late in the previous week, James had finally taken his lieutenant’s exam. After waiting anxiously for four days to hear the results, he received the exciting news. James had passed the exam with flying colors, and he was told that even if he had not passed the test, several senior officers would have been happy to have commissioned him because they were very pleased with his hard work and natural talents.

"So, lieutenant, why don't we go and celebrate together down at the pub?" Andrew suggested clapping James on the back.

"Well..." James hesitated.

"Drinks are on me," he smiled mischievously.

“I suppose,” James gave in to Andrew’s bribe.

The young men made their way down to the pub where many in the navy stopped after their duties were done for the day. After each having a pint, Andrew ordered them both some food and then sat down and joined James. “I’m certainly glad to see that your hard work has paid off. You deserve it, James. I'm proud of you, my friend,” he smiled.

"Thank you," James smiled back.

"You can even wear your new lieutenant's uniform to the wedding ceremony."

"Yes, I suppose I can."

"James, I want you to know this,” Andrew’s lips being slightly loosened from the ale. “You're my best friend, and me getting married will never change that. I truly hope that we will always be assigned to the same ship or at least the same port. I don't know what I'd do without you being around to keep me going strong."

"Really?"

"I've never admitted this to you. Sometimes when we've been out at sea and difficult situations arose like encountering pirates or Spaniards, I've been afraid, but then I see the courage and determination in your eyes. Seeing you like that encourages me and makes me feel stronger inside."

Although still feeling disheartened about losing Catherine to Andrew, James felt encouraged by Andrew's words. They made him feel that perhaps even though Andrew needed Catherine, there was a part of Andrew that only James could fill, and that gave him a sense of purpose. That night while trying to fall asleep, James resolved that although it would be heart wrenching for him, he would do his best to be happy for the young couple who were both after all his dearest friends that he truly loved. He also decided that he would look over them with care making sure that both were safe and happy.

The day before the wedding, Andrew's family arrived. After leaving their luggage at a local inn, they joined Catherine and Andrew for their evening meal. Catherine immediately felt as if she were a part of the Gillette family and enjoyed interacting with each of them. The group all laughed together as Andrew's parents shared humorous stories from his childhood.

"If he ever gives you trouble, Catherine, just give him a good old swat on the rear end like his mum!" Mr. Gillette laughed as Andrew began to blush and laugh as well.

"Yes, dear, it certainly worked for me!" Mrs. Gillette joined her husband. "As a child he was always getting himself into trouble. One time he got tired of some of the neighborhood children making comments about his red hair, so he bought some dye off of a street peddler who told him it would dye his hair black. He came home with green hair that night!"

"Well, Mrs. Gillette, you must have done something right to produce such a sweet man like Drew," Catherine smiled.

After the Gillette family had left and went back to the inn for the night, Catherine and Andrew spent a few special moments together before Andrew would leave. Both had agreed that they would live in the Richardson home until they were ready to find one of their own, and Andrew had already moved many of his belongings there. Making sure what he would need for the next few days was in line, Andrew decided it was probably best not to linger too much longer.

"I should be going now, dear," he smiled before giving Catherine a kiss.

"I will see you tomorrow," she beamed and gave him a tight hug before watching him walk down the lane.

Charlotte arrived early the next morning to help Molly help Catherine into her dress and to get ready after Catherine had bathed. The pair helped her into her dress, and Charlotte then worked on Catherine's hair while Molly did her best to help her not be so nervous. After much primping, Catherine was finally ready. The three women got in the carriage and made their way to the small parish church near the edge of the city where they were greeted by Catherine's uncle who had happily agreed to escort her down the aisle where the ceremony would be read. At first Catherine was still feeling quite nervous, but after the doors of the sanctuary opened and she could see Andrew in his uniform smiling and waiting for her at the other end of the aisle, she almost completely forgot about her apprehensions.

After the ceremony, which to both Catherine and Andrew seemed like it took forever, all the guests greeted the newlyweds and offered congratulatory words and well wishes before making their way out of the church. As Andrew was preoccupied with trying to comfort his mother who was hugging him tightly and crying both out of joy and the sorrow of seeing her son all grown up, Catherine smiled as James who was next in line shyly made his way over to her.

"Congratulations," he smiled.

"Congratulations to you, too, _Lieutenant_ Norrington!" she emphasized his new rank. "We're so proud of you. I'm so proud of you. You worked so hard, and now look at you. You look so handsome in your new uniform."

"Thank you." Finally after Andrew pried his mother off of him and could turn his attention back to the other guests, James shook his friend's hand and smiled, "I wish the best to both of you. If you need anything, let me know. Be good to each other."

"We will," Andrew smiled.

"And if he is not, I'll let you know!" Catherine laughed.

After the newlyweds greeted their guests, they made their way outside where everyone waited to cheer for them and send them off. Grinning ear to ear, the couple got into the carriage and rode home together for the first time as Midshipman and Mrs. Andrew Gillette. As they rode home, they shared a few kisses before Catherine rested her head on Andrew's shoulder and sighed happily as he wrapped his arms around her. Finally reaching home, the pair shared a meal prepared earlier by Molly before retiring to their room together.

"Heavens, I need to get out of this gown!" Catherine groaned as she sat on the side of the bed. "Charlotte must be of the persuasion that one must have the laces of their stay tied so tight that they can no longer breathe. I'm surprised that I did not faint during the ceremony!"

"I can help you, darling, if you like," Andrew who had already peeled off most of his uniform offered as he helped her to her feet. "I'm afraid I don't know much about women's clothing, though. It certainly appears to be much more complicated than men's clothing."

"Trust me, it is!" she laughed. "First, we need to unhook the bodice from the stomacher," she showed him. She watched as he gingerly started to try and undo the hooks. "Your hands are shaking. Are you nervous, Drew?" she smiled causing him to blush.

"Well, uh, yes," he admitted.

"You're doing fine. I'm nervous, too," she reassured him causing him to smile back. After finally disposing of her gown and petticoats, Catherine was relieved to finally have access to the troublesome article of clothing that was the source of her discomfort. "Please untie the laces in back. I cannot reach."

"I cannot get the knot undone. It's too small and too tight," he noted after fumbling with it for a bit.

"Well, just cut the laces. I have extra ones, and I just can't stand being trapped in this thing anymore! I think I'm going to pass out," she huffed a bit dramatically. Andrew ran and found a small knife that he kept in his waistcoat pocket and cut the problematic laces quickly but carefully. Finally feeling relieved, Catherine flung the stay across the room and sat down on the side of the bed.

"Feel better, Catie?" Andrew sat beside her and gently rubbed her back causing her to emit a quiet sigh of relief.

"Yes, much better. Remind me never to let Charlotte lace my stay ever again," she laughed as Andrew began to take out the pins that were holding up her hair. After freeing her brunette tresses, Andrew reached over and picked up her brush, which was lying on the bed and began to brush her hair tenderly. He then massaged her neck and shoulders to help her relax before leaning in behind her, kissing her neck, and whispering in her ear, "I love you, darling."

She turned to face him and after lovingly stroking his freckled cheek, she leaned in and whispered back, "I love you, too, Andrew. I'm going to kiss every single one of your freckles even if it takes me our entire lives to do it."

"Well, I suppose you better get started," he grinned before kissing her passionately.

Later after they had shared themselves with each other for the first time, the new husband and wife, now also new lovers, slept peacefully, happily, and soundly in each others arms quite late into the next morning, and Molly smiled to herself as she stoked the fire in the stove in the kitchen as she thought it was best not to disturb or wake them anytime soon.


	7. Life With Andrew and A Farewell

In the time following Andrew and Catherine’s marriage, Catherine found herself growing to love Andrew more and more than she thought she possibly could. Sometimes when she would find him gazing at her lovingly, she felt like she could melt into a puddle. She also began to grow accustomed to his little quirks. For example, she found that he often sighed and mumbled happily in his sleep. She would awake to find him clinging to her and would hear him sigh happily as she listened to his steady breathing. Catherine believed her dear Andrew to be a fine specimen of a man. She could not help but to gaze at him when he was undressing or to run her fingers through his ginger chest hair. She loved feeling possessed by him and feeling his taut muscles as he made love to her.

Andrew’s adoration of his new wife continued to flourish. He loved how her hair curled about her face and how her pale cheeks blushed when he suggested they make love. He also loved how her curves merged up against his body like a puzzle piece. He often found himself gently caressing her soft, porcelain skin and feminine curves after they spent the evenings making love to each other. In so far as he adored her beauty, Andrew also adored her heart. He quietly admired her kind heart and strength and wished that nothing would ever change those things about her.

Despite marital bliss, Catherine occasionally still could not help but to find her thoughts lingering on James at times while Andrew was down at the docks. Being so young and not having anyone to talk to about it, she was unsure how to handle her problem. Part of her knew it certainly was not right to have feelings for another man other than Andrew, but how could she stop herself from thinking about James? She hoped that it would eventually pass and that she would forget her feelings for James, but in the coming years she would find that she would continue to struggle with growing difficulty and guilt.

One day when Molly had been feeling ill and Catherine insisted she go to bed early, Catherine was busy cooking her and Andrew’s supper when he came home from the docks. Although he did not show it in his demeanor or countenance, he was in quite a naughty mood and immediately began scheming of ways to tease his wife. Meeting her in the kitchen, he sat down and began to tell her about his day as he lovingly watched her cook. Suddenly she presented him with the perfect opportunity to be cause trouble when she asked if he would like to taste the stew and let her know if he thought it needed more salt.

“Of course I would,” he grinned and walked over to the simmering pot. Taking the ladle and scooping a small amount, Andrew carefully lifted it to his mouth and after blowing on it to cool it took a sip. Suddenly he began choking, dropped the ladle, and put his hands around his neck.

“Andrew!” Catherine rushed to his aid thinking he was in peril. “What’s wrong?”

“I think,” he sputtered dramatically, “it’s poisoned...”

“Oh no!” she began to cry and panic not knowing what to do.

Realizing that perhaps he had taken his mischief a bit too far, Andrew stopped acting and began to insist that he was fine. “Catie, darling, I was just teasing,” he pulled her into his arms.

“What?” she whimpered.

“I was just teasing you. I was pulling a joke. There’s nothing wrong with the stew. It tastes wonderful, actually.”

“You mean that it’s not poisoned and you are alright?”

“Yes,” he began to giggle.

“Andrew Maurice Gillette, you brat!” she began to scold. “I’m going to spank you just like your mother said I should!” she threatened before grabbing a wooden spoon and trying to swat him on the rear end with it.

“Catie, dear, I only meant to have a little fun with you,” he explained as he dodged the spoon.

“Well, I don’t think it was very funny!” she pouted with tears still running down her cheeks. “You’re really going to get it now!” she began to chase after him as he ran throughout the house and up the stairs. She followed him into the bedroom where he suddenly grabbed the spoon out of her hand but only after he had suffered a good swat to the knuckles with it.

“That’s enough of this, Catie! I’m sorry! Please calm down,” he pleaded. Seeing in her eyes that she was not about to back down and that she was still out to punish him, he did the only thing he could think of to calm her down. He picked her up screaming and kicking and threw her onto the bed before jumping on top of her and tickling her without mercy.

“Stop it, Drew!” she giggled and kicked.

“Not until you promise to calm down!” he informed her.

“Please stop! I can’t breathe! Okay, I’ll calm down!”

“Promise?”

“I promise! Please!” she gasped before Andrew finally stopped tickling her. As she lay on the bed gasping in an attempt to catch her breath, Andrew, also quite tired, lay down next to her. All of a sudden Catherine began to sniffle before putting a hand over her eyes as she started to cry.

“Darling, what’s wrong? Did I harm you?” Andrew sat up leaning on one elbow.

“I’m sorry I hit you,” she cried.

“It didn’t hurt that much,” he insisted.

“You scared me a great deal. That’s why I was so angry.”

“Why did it frighten you?” he asked as he gently pulled her hand away from her face.

“I was afraid that there was nothing I could do to help you and that I was going to lose you. I have lost everyone else, and I couldn’t bear to lose you, too, especially now,” she sniffled.

“Oh Catherine,” he gasped as he then realized what harm he had done. “I am so sorry. I should have been more considerate. It was so horrible of me to do that to you. I will always be playful with you, but I will never do such a thing like that on purpose again. Please forgive me.”

Picking up the hand she had struck with the wooden spoon, she gently kissed the red and freshly bruised knuckles before smiling sadly and replying, “I forgive you, Drew.”

Pulling her to him and gently kissing her forehead, Andrew snuggled closer and softly spoke in her ear, “I will stay forever here with you, my love, and even in death our love would go on.”

One evening Andrew had some of his navy friends over to the house to chat. Catherine thought it would be best to leave them be, so she took a book to the study to read. After a while, she decided that she needed to get up and stretch, so she went to ask the men if they would like some tea. Just as she went to knock on the door, she overheard them talking.

"So, James is really leaving, isn't he?" she heard a certain Midshipman Grissom ask.

"Yes, he's received a commission to go to the West Indies. They've been having trouble there with buccaneers and other good-for-nothings. He’s to be stationed in Port Royal,” Andrew answered.

“Rumor is that he is already going to receive promotion to first lieutenant,” she heard another young man join in the discussion.

“I have not heard it from him personally, but I would not be surprised. The _Dauntless_ is a new ship, after all, and they will be escorting the new governor and his daughter.”

“I think he will do well there. I hear there are many opportunities in the New World. Maybe he’ll get lucky and find a beautiful savage woman to marry!” Grissom laughed loudly.

By this time, Catherine was a bit distressed and angry about what she had just overheard. She turned around and marched back to the study slamming the door behind her. _“How could Andrew keep this from me?”_ she fumed and threw the book she had been reading into the corner as tears brimmed in her eyes. She slouched down on the couch holding a pillow cushion tight to her chest and looked out the window. She began to think of James, how much she would miss him, and how much she would worry about him being so far away. She silently cried as she thought until she fell asleep.

Later after Andrew’s guests had left, he went to find Catherine and see what she had been up to while he was entertaining his friends. He found her in the study curled up asleep on the couch hugging the pillow to her chest. He smiled at how sweet she looked as she slept and walked over quietly to rouse her as not to startle her. He leant down beside her before gently caressing her lower arm and whispering, “Catherine.” He nudged her arm and said her name a bit louder, “Catherine, darling.”

“Hmm?” she woke up.

“Let’s get you to bed,” he smiled and stroked some hair away from her face before helping her to her feet.

Andrew slept quite soundly that night and did not notice Catherine tossing and turning. Although quite tired, she just could not sleep due to her thoughts of James. Suddenly Andrew rolled over, sighed in his sleep happily, and clung to her. She then realized how foolish her thoughts were. _"I should not love James anymore. It is not right. I'm married to Andrew now, and I should have feelings only for him. Yet, how can I just forget and make myself stop loving someone? James...”_

The next day while Catherine was coming home from the market, she caught a glimpse of a navy blue coat out of the corner of her eye as she walked along. She turned her head and beheld James trying to pass her by without her seeing him. Realizing he had been caught, James stopped walking and frowned slightly as Catherine walked towards him. He had a feeling he knew what she was going to confront him about.

"James."

"Catherine."

"You're leaving, aren't you?" she said more in the form of a statement than an actual question. "When?"

"I have not received the final word yet. Soon enough, though, I suppose."

"Why didn't you tell me? Rather, why didn't even Andrew tell me?"

"We both thought it was best not for you to know. You needn't be concerned about such things."

"Excuse me?"

"I best be getting on my way. I should not be conversing with an unaccompanied married woman in public anyway. It might appear scandalous," he made up an excuse before abruptly starting to walk away.

"You're being utterly ridiculous!” she shouted and ran after him and grabbed him by the sleeve. “James, you are one of my dearest friends,” she placed her hand on his arm endearingly. “I’m going to miss you so much and worry about you being so far away and in danger constantly. Things will never be the same without you around. Please try and take good care of yourself, and I hope you can find happiness in the New World.”

“Thank you, Catherine. I will miss you, too. Maybe I’ll get lucky while I’m there,” he smiled sadly. “You will take care of Andrew and make sure he stays out of trouble for me, won’t you?”

“Of course, I will,” she smiled. “Well, I should be getting home. Andrew is to go out on patrol of the channel for a couple days for some drills, so I must help him get ready to leave in the morning. I do hope to see you before you leave, though. Have a good afternoon.”

“You as well, Catherine.”

That evening Catherine decided to make James a parting gift. She happened to have purchased a couple brand new handkerchiefs at the market that day and thought it would be nice if she embroidered them with James’ monogram. It took her a couple days to finish them because of all the other work she had to do around the house while Andrew was gone, but as soon as they were done, Catherine tied them up with a bow and went to find James so she could give them to him. She made her way to the house where James and other sailors had been boarding and where Andrew had also lived before marrying her. After climbing the stairs and finding his room, she knocked on the door, which was ajar. When no one answered, she quietly and slowly pushed the door open only to find the room empty and James’ belongings gone. She went to find the woman who ran the boarding house.

“Pardon me, madam, but is Lieutenant James Norrington still rooming here?”

“No, miss, he moved out yesterday morning I’m afraid. By now he’s well on his way to the West Indies.”

“Oh, I see,” Catherine frowned. “Thank you,” she whimpered holding back tears.

“What’s the matter, dearie?” the kind old woman asked.

“It’s just that I... I loved him.”

“You poor thing,” she hugged Catherine. “Are you going to be alright?”

“I will have to be. Thank you,” she said again before walking home.

That evening all Catherine could do was sob as she clenched the handkerchiefs in her hand. She wiped her tears away with them and when she unfolded one and saw James’ monogram, she got up and threw them into the fireplace. As she sat and watched them burn, she heard the front door open and shut before Andrew suddenly walked in the door.

“Andrew?”

“Darling,” he opened his arms as she got up and ran to him. She sobbed into his chest as he embraced her tightly.

“I didn’t get to say goodbye. I didn’t get to tell James goodbye, Drew, and now he’s gone. We might never see him again,” she continued crying.

“I know, Catie. I did not get to say goodbye either,” he sniffled slightly. “He never did like goodbyes, so he must have felt it would be easier this way.”

“For him, maybe, but certainly not for us. I’m so glad that you’re home,” she sighed. He kissed her gently on the forehead before they both decided to turn in for the night, but both certainly found it difficult to sleep.


	8. A Promotion for Andrew

In the time following James' sudden departure, Andrew began to notice that a state of melancholiness had settled itself upon Catherine. She was not as spry as she usually was and barely cracked a smile even when he tried to brighten her spirits. What Andrew found puzzling was that he did not think that Catherine had been that close to James. He only thought of them to be merely friends and nothing more, and as trusting and innocent as Andrew was, it did not even once cross his mind that Catherine might have been romantically attached to his best friend.

One rainy afternoon, Andrew walked into the sitting room to find Catherine at the window seat staring out the window quite despondently with a couple stray tears running down her cheeks. Sighing at seeing her so sad, he quietly made his way to where she sat putting a gentle hand on her shoulder before sitting behind her while having her rest up against him. After sitting with her quietly for a while, he finally decided to speak.

"Darling, I can no longer bear this. Why are you so unhappy? Is there nothing I can do to bring a smile back to your face?"

"I'm sorry, Drew. I suppose I am taking James' decision not to tell us goodbye to heart more than I should. You're hurting, too, and here I am sulking about like I am the only one that was hurt. I just wish I knew why he had to go and do that."

"Part of me wonders if he truly wanted to go since he left so abruptly." Andrew shifted himself a bit and had Catherine face him before starting, "Catie, I'm sorry, too. I knew that James was going to be leaving, and even though I did not know when, I feel like I should have not withheld that from you. You were friends with him also, and I should have had consideration for that. I guess I just wanted to protect you."

"Andrew, I knew," she admitted looking down at her lap. "I overheard you and your friends that one night. I even saw James in the street one day and asked him about it. While you were on patrol, I decided to embroider a couple handkerchiefs for him as a gift, but when I went to deliver them, that's when I found out he was gone. I'm such a horrible wife, and I feel so deceitful. You must hate me for sneaking around like that."

"Don't talk like that, Catherine Gillette," he scolded her cupping her cheeks in his hands and making her look him in the eyes. "I do not hate you, and I do not think of you as being deceitful. We are both guilty of keeping things from each other lately. Catherine, I love you more than life, and from now on I will trust you enough to tell you about anything you need to know. Do you trust me enough to tell me these kind of things as well?"

"Oh Drew, yes," she began to cry. "I love you, and I will not bear my burdens alone anymore. I will do my best to cheer up, too."

"As will I," he tenderly smiled before kissing her softly.

Both did their best to stay true to their word and become more cheerful despite the fact that they both missed their dear friend greatly. Catherine threw herself into housework and needlework to try to keep her mind off of it while Andrew focused on preparing for the lieutenant's examination. Whether he passed on the first try or not, Catherine was so proud of Andrew and all of the hard work he was doing to prepare. There was many a late evening that she would have to lure him away from his books. "Dear, please come to bed," she would plead seductively into his ear as she stroked his inner thigh. Needless to say, she was always successful in getting her way.

After many hours of study and preparation, it was finally the day that Andrew was to take his exam. Catherine found him adorable, as this was one of the rare times when he showed that he was nervous and that he was unable to joke around. Giving him a bountiful breakfast and a good luck kiss, she sent him on his way. Giggling to herself, as she believed he looked as if he were going to his doom, she thought that she would go to the market that afternoon and get him a gift in the event that he passed. Although they had agreed to share things with each other more often, she felt that she was justified in keeping the fact that she had been saving some money to get him a gift a secret. That afternoon while at the market, she slowly window-shopped while trying to think of what to get him. Suddenly seeing the glint of shiny metal out of the corner of her eye, she saw the perfect gift hanging the window of a shop across the street.

After asking the shopkeeper how much the item was and finding out she had just enough, she bought it and had the box wrapped before walking proudly home with her prize. _"I truly hope Andrew passed, because I simply cannot wait to give this to him!"_ she thought to herself and beamed as she got home. For the rest of the day, she found herself pacing and having a short attention span as she waited for Andrew to come home.

Finally, after hours that felt like days, Catherine heard the front door open. Trying her best not to seem too impatient to hear whether or not Andrew passed, she sat in her chair in the sitting room as usual. Hearing him ask Molly where she was, she then heard him making his way towards the room. Seeing him pause in the doorway with an expressionless look on his face, her heart sank thinking that perhaps he had not passed the exam.

"Andrew?" she looked at him puzzled.

Suddenly she saw his face burst forth with a big grin as he announced, "I passed!"

Jumping out of her chair and squealing, Catherine then ran and jumped into his arms. "I'm so proud of you! How exciting!" she exclaimed before kissing him passionately. “Wait here! I have to go get something!” she had him stay put. After running to where she was hiding his surprise present and bringing it back with her, she shoved it into his hands. “I got this for you,” she smiled. “Open it!”

Carefully untying the bow, unwrapping the paper, and opening the box, Andrew beamed as he pulled out a pocket watch with his initials engraved on it. Opening the watch, he saw that the upper panel was made to appear like a sky full of stars. “Oh Catherine, how did you ever afford this? It is beautiful!”

“I’ve been saving some money on the side,” she smiled. “So you like it?”

“I absolutely love it! Thank you, darling,” he embraced her tightly. “It will go well with my new uniform.”

“I’m so glad you like it. As soon as I saw it, I thought it would be the perfect thing to get you for passing the exam.”

With all the excitement over Andrew passing his lieutenant’s exam, the couple was soon distracted from their sadness over James’ leaving. They were certainly excited over Andrew’s new station in the Royal Navy and became quite busy as they prepared themselves for the ceremony where he was to be officially promoted. Also with his promotion came the possibility that he would be given a commission and that the couple would have to move. Catherine of course did not let on that she deep down hoped that they would end up having to move to the West Indies just so that there was a possibility that they would run into James.

After the ceremony and the excitement had calmed down, quite unexpectedly it finally came. One morning a letter addressed to Catherine and Andrew arrived. It was from James. Suddenly all of the feelings Catherine had been feeling when James initially left came welling up again inside of her as she held the envelope in her shaking hands. She decided it was best to wait for Andrew to come home and let him open it.

That evening the pair sat together in front of the fire as Andrew carefully opened the envelope and took out the letter it bore inside. They silently read it together and were glad to hear that James was doing well, but were still saddened by his absence. Further on in his letter, James told tales of battles against pirates and Spaniards which brought to memory the days of old when both he and Andrew shared stories with Catherine and Charlotte of their times at sea. To close his letter, James decided to tell the couple about life in Port Royal where he had been stationed. He wrote much about the governor and his daughter.

_"Miss Swann, although only a thirteen-year-old girl, is quite intelligent and is amiable towards all people despite her status. She quite enjoys hearing my sea-faring tales, and I continue to indulge her despite the fact that Governor Swann feels the stories will only encourage her to be rash. She also enjoys spending time with a peasant boy we found and recovered from ship wreckage at sea. He is now a blacksmith's apprentice. I fear nothing good will come of their relationship for his behavior is quite crude. Her father and I do our best to discourage her from seeing him..."_

After finishing reading the letter, Andrew quietly folded it back up and put it back in the envelope before putting it on the table. As he sat back and put his arm around Catherine, he felt her shudder and tense up. He thought that a letter from James might cause her to be slightly emotional, but her reaction seemed a bit much.

"Are you feeling unwell, darling?"

"Why?"

"You trembled. Did you catch a chill?"

"Oh, yes I did," she lied. "I do feel a little out of sorts. Perhaps I am just tired and should go to bed a little early."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No, Drew, that is alright. I don't want to keep you from your reading."

"Very well, dear. Good night," he kissed her as she got up from where they were sitting.

After taking off all but her shift, Catherine sat at her vanity looking at herself in the mirror. She frowned at the tears she saw streaming down her cheeks before wiping them away. _"I suppose he didn't love me after all. He already has a new toy to play with now that he's away from me,"_ she thought bitterly. _"I hope he breaks her heart just like he broke mine. He's probably just going after her money. And she’s just a child. Pervert...”_ Getting into the bed and wrapping herself in blankets, her thoughts, of course, continued to linger on James. She momentarily forgot her anger towards him and remembered how the color of his eyes reminded her of the sea. "James," she whispered her name to herself in the dark. "Why?"

In the days following the arrival of the letter, Catherine did her best to put on a false face, but Andrew could still see in her eyes that all was not right. Andrew decided that it was perhaps best not to inquire what was bothering her so that he would not risk upsetting her further. He reasoned that she had experienced many big changes within the past few months and that perhaps she just needed time to adjust. One day as he gently brushed some stray hairs out of her face and saw what he discerned to be longing in her eyes, he thought about how strong she was and was trying to be. She suddenly turned and latched onto him in a soft embrace while laying her head on his shoulder.

"Everything will be alright, love," he knowingly reassured her as he gently rubbed her back. "I am always here if you need me."

As Andrew's painful observation of Catherine's despondency continued, he began to pray that something would happen to brighten her spirits. One day his prayer was finally answered when a letter from her cousin Charlotte and her husband John arrived. Catherine opened it quickly and read it to herself before happily telling Andrew what it was about.

"How exciting! Auntie and Uncle are going to be spending the holiday with friends up north, so Charlotte and John will be staying at their estate. They have invited us to spend the holidays with them. Doesn't it sound like fun? Oh, I do hope that you can get leave so we can go!"

"That sounds wonderful. I will make sure to put in for leave tomorrow. I do love Christmas very much," he smiled.

"As do I," she agreed as she put the letter away.

"I know this has been a difficult year of many changes for you, for both of us, Catie, but I hope we can make this Christmas a special and happy time that we will always cherish together. It pains me to see you so sad and troubled."

"I know it does, Drew, and I'm sorry. I do not know what has come over me, but I agree that we will make this a wonderful holiday together," she said with a small smile. "Besides, perhaps by next year we will have a little one running around during the holiday celebrations."

"Oh, that would be wonderful," he smiled. "Perhaps we should get a head start," he suggested with a glint in his eye before kissing her on the neck.

"Oh, Drew," she blushed before he pulled her by the hand and led her up the stairs to the bedroom.


	9. Christmas 1739

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have reached a section of my fic that I do not have the chapters written yet, so updates will not come as quickly at the moment until I reach later chapters.

On the very next day at the docks, Andrew kept his promise to Catherine and put in his request for leave even though Christmas was still just under a couple of months away. His commanding officers took into account that Andrew had not requested any leave for a honeymoon period after marrying Catherine, and they were compassionate in that they were aware of her quite recent bereavement as well. Yet despite their sympathy, bureaucracy reigned supreme causing the Gillette household to have to await their decision.

“Did you receive word yet?” Catherine would stop Andrew at the doorstep asking him this question almost every day when he arrived home from the docks.

“Patience, my love!” he grinned and kissed her to gain access to the foyer this particular time around about a month prior to the holiday. “Things with the Royal Navy take time.”

“Well, we’re running out of time! I need to know sooner rather than later so that I can let Charlotte know if we are able to join them or not and make the necessary preparations,” she huffed.

“Start making some of the preparations anyway. Buy your gifts. Craft your decorations. Plan your menus. Before you know it, we will have the answer,” he winked. “And besides, if it is not the answer we want, we can still celebrate here in our own home.”

“Very well. If you say so.”

Catherine took Andrew’s suggestion to heart and was soon fully distracted with holiday preparations. _“It worked. Andrew Maurice Gillette, you truly are a genius,”_ he mused to himself while sipping his tea one Saturday morning noting that her mood had improved now that she was focused on something other than her grief or James’ transfer. _“It seems this is exactly what she needed. Now, when shall I actually tell her the news that I have been given full leave as requested?”_

“Molly, I haven’t the faintest idea as to what I should get Andrew for Christmas. Do you have any ideas?” Catherine inquired as they took stock of the pantry that afternoon while Andrew met his friends at the pub.

“Get him something from the heart. You know how sentimental he is about you.”

“He is, but I honestly do not think I could possibly top the pocket watch I bought him for his promotion. He loves that thing to bits. He even shows it off to people that he’s already shown it to before.”

“Perhaps something practical would be better. Are any of his clothes worn beyond repairing? Or perhaps he could use an addition to his wardrobe?”

“Hmm, I might be able to come up with something like that. Thank you for your help.”

“You’re quite welcome. My mum is always fussing about trying to figure out what sorts of things my father would like. If only we could read men’s minds.”

“If only! It would spare us women so much heartbreak!”

“Aye, it would!” Molly agreed as they both giggled.

Meanwhile at the pub, Andrew conversed with his friends about the same issue. “What does a husband get a wife that already has everything? Everything being me!” he grinned ear to ear and raised his pint.

“Aye!” his friends all cheered and raised their pints in solidarity with him.

“No, but in all seriousness, sea dogs, any ideas? I’m quite at a loss right now,” he admitted.

“Sorry, mate, I’m a bachelor,” a Midshipman Givens decided to provide his input, “and there’s only one thing I know of that makes the ladies happy.”

“Oh?” Andrew arched his brow.

“Oh! Oh yes! Right there!” Givens moaned and flicked his tongue lewdly in the air immediately causing the group to burst out into laughter including Andrew who was now blushing bright red.

“Stop! Stop!” he simultaneously groaned and laughed wiping a tear from the corner of his eye.

“You’re not denying it!”

“And I’m not confirming it either, Givens!”

“Now, now, don’t embarrass the lad further,” Lieutenant Michaels defended Andrew as they all calmed down from their banter and laughter. “Andrew, why don’t you get her something sentimental? Women love that kind of stuff especially if you tack on a sappy reason as to why you got them the particular item. Trust me, my Alice loves the little trinkets I get for her.”

“Perhaps something like that would suffice,” Andrew agreed. “It is a bloody shame we just cannot read women’s minds. I love my Catherine with my very life. Yet she’s been so melancholy lately, and I have no idea what exactly is wrong.” He paused a moment as an idea flickered to life in his mind. “Actually, I know exactly what to get her, and that’s that. Cheers, mates!”

The daily inquisition at the front door continued and perhaps even worsened now that Catherine was busy with her holiday preparations. “I need to know,” Catherine crossed her arms. “If I must, I will go down to the dockyard office first thing tomorrow morning and demand an answer myself!”

“Know what?” Andrew feigned ignorance.

“Andrew, you know quite well what I mean. Please, I need to know if you’ve heard about your leave yet. Charlotte has asked if Molly and I can make the mince pies and bring them with us to the estate. I need to answer her soon. So out with it. The word?”

“Fine,” he submitted to her demands lest she do something rash. “The word is ‘no,’ therefore I am going anyway.”

“You’re a terrible liar. I know that you would rather die than disobey an order or desert your post. So, it’s true? We can go?”

“Aye, we can go, love. I’ve been granted full leave as requested. Oi!” he grunted as Catherine threw herself at him into his arms. “I may be a terrible liar, but I am somehow excellent at keeping secrets. I’ve actually known for a couple of weeks,” he boasted as he lightly patted her back.

“You sneaky git!” she smiled and pinched him on the bum, which set them both off chasing each other mischievously about the house.

As December arrived and letters were sent, gifts were purchased, and plans were finalized, the Gillettes received another letter from their dear friend Lieutenant James Norrington. Per his last letter, he relayed to the couple news of the goings on in Port Royal and how the recently started war with Spain in the West Indies had been going. Upon going to read the second page, a flower blossom fell into Andrew’s lap:

_“I hope that it is not improper of me, but I have enclosed a flower which I thought Catherine may like. It will have likely dried out by the time you have received it, but it is a tropical species native to this island. The color of it happened to remind me of the dress she wore when I had accompanied her to Charlotte’s ball. What a grand time we had that night. I still do not care for balls. However, given my rank and station in society, it is expected of me to participate in such social ventures. I do my best to hide lest I gain undesired attention from mothers seeking to marry off their daughters to me. For now, I suppose one could say that I am married to my work, and it would not be fair to take a wife at the moment as I feel that I would only neglect her for the sake of my naval duties. And given the war, it would not be fair to risk making a young woman a widow so quickly. I must admit, though, dear friends, I do at times find myself envious of your marital bliss…”_

“I hope he stays safe and the war with the Spaniards ends soon. May I keep the flower, Drew?” Catherine asked once they finished reading the letter together.

“Of course, you may. Keep the letter, too, since he speaks of it there. I pray he stays safe as well. That was very kind of James to think of you when he saw it and send it to you.”

“It was. He’s such a dear heart. I will finish drying the bloom out properly and press it and the letter in one of my books. I cannot completely fathom spending Christmas somewhere warm like the West Indies.”

“Yes, I always associate the holiday with colder weather,” Andrew thought aloud.

Once the flower had finished drying, which had not taken long, Catherine tucked it and the letter away into the Richardson family Bible knowing Andrew was not wont to go leafing through it. Although she still missed him greatly and worried for his safety, she felt somewhat reassured that currently James had no interest in any other women. And where exactly in the family Bible did she put the tokens of friendship? She had decided to tuck them away into the Song of Solomon…

A couple of days before Christmas, the Gillettes prepared to make their journey to the estate of Catherine’s aunt and uncle where they would spend the holiday with Charlotte and John.

“We’re going to be stuffed!” Andrew declared as he helped Catherine and Molly pack away the mince pies they had made. “At this rate, I might need to get my uniforms re-fitted by Twelfth Night.”

“Your mum always says in her letters that I need to fatten you up,” Catherine laughed.

“My oldest brother has just turned seventeen, and he’s skinny as a pole. Yet he eats like a horse. My mum worries about him but the doctor says it’s just his metabolism,” Molly stated. “Perhaps that’s your problem, sir.”

“Ha! Perhaps! You both know how I love food, but the only place I ever look full is in my face.”

“My mum once said you practically still had baby fat in your face,” Catherine teased and squeezed one of his cheeks.

“I am not a baby! I happen to be a full grown man!” Andrew lowered his voice and puffed his chest out causing the women to laugh. “Now Molly, you have a wonderful time with your family while we’re gone. Christmas morning the grocer will deliver a basket to your parents’ home. You have been such a great help to us these past few months, and we wanted to make sure that we could help you out, too.”

“We also got you a couple of gifts for you,” Catherine smiled.

“Oh, thank you both! I will miss you, but I do hope you have a lovely time,” Molly hugged them each.

After they had seen Molly off, Andrew helped the coachman pack up the final bits and bobs that they would need for their holiday into the carriage that had been hired to take them just north to the estate. Ensuring Catherine was warm enough and comfortable, Andrew snuggled up next to her inside the vehicle and sighed happily. “Molly is such a sweet girl,” he noted after they were on their way.

“She is,” Catherine agreed. “I know she’s under our employ, but as she is not much younger than I am, I do consider her a friend. We women need all the allies we can get!” she nudged him in the ribs gently with her elbow playfully. “I will miss her, but when the time comes, I hope she can find a good husband that loves her and can provide for her. Is that snow?” she suddenly leaned over and practically plastered her face to the window.

“Sit down, ninny!” Andrew laughed tugging on her skirts. “I won’t be having you bashing your head in for Christmas! Aye, it does appear to be snowing.”

“Wonderful! It’s been a few years since we’ve had snow for Christmas. Hopefully it will accumulate and stay for a little while,” she nuzzled her face into his neck. “We’re going to have such a lovely time,” she smiled comforting Andrew’s heart to see her regaining her joy.

After managing to make it through the snow to attend church services early morning Christmas Day with Charlotte and John, Andrew and Catherine retired back to their room to spend some time together before the next round of feasting which had already started upon their arrival a couple of days prior. The pair sat near the fireplace with Catherine reclining slightly on the small couch and Andrew sitting at her feet with his lean legs stretched out on the carpet and his head leaning on her thigh.

“That’s nice,” Andrew sighed contently as Catherine tangled her fingers in his auburn hair as she read a book. “Shall we exchange our gifts soon?”

“Of course, Drew. Whenever you’re ready.”

“As much as I am enjoying this moment, I’m not sure how much longer I can sit still waiting to give you the gifts I chose.”

“Very well. Eager as ever,” she smiled fondly at him. “Let’s do it now then.” Andrew directed her to where he had stowed away the gifts he had bought her and she returned with them and a bag in which she had hidden away her gifts for him. “I have a feeling we both had the same idea when it came to gifts,” Catherine pulled out of her bag a small box similar to the size of one he had for her.

“I swear that I cannot read your mind!” he scooted around on the carpet to face her.

“I cannot read yours either!”

“Well then, perhaps we should both open them at the same time,” he suggested.

“Agreed.”

“Make it so,” he nodded as they then both untied the small ribbons and opened the boxes. “A poesy ring!”

“You got one for me, too. _‘No joy in life like a good wife’_ ,” she smiled as she read the inscription. “Drew, that is so sweet, darling.”

“ _’Let love abide till death divide. Ruth 1:16+17.’_ My devout Irish Catholic mother would throttle me if she heard me say this, but I am not as well versed in the Scriptures as you are, Catie,” he admitted with a smirk. “Refresh my memory as to the significance of this reference to Ruth.”

“Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God: Where thoust diest, I will die, and there will I be buried: the Lord do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me,” Catherine recited.

“A stór,” he actually found himself getting a little teary eyed.

“I’m sorry that I have not been a very good wife lately,” she sniffled as a tear threatened to roll down her cheek.

“That is absolutely not true,” he quickly got off the floor and joined her on the couch pulling her close. “You have been nothing but good to me. You have given me so much.”

“Yet all I do is mope around the house and cry, and I know it breaks your heart. It isn’t fair to you. I am supposed to be making you happy.”

“I am completely happy. One of my senior officers gave me some lovely advice before we got married. He said that sometimes love is not equal. It just cannot always be. Sometimes one must carry the other when they are weak.”

“I’m not we-“ she interrupted him to protest and was silenced by him placing his finger over her lips gently.

“No, you are not weak at all. You are so strong, but you are broken, too, at the moment. And it is my honor to hold all of your pieces for you until you are ready to be made whole again. I love you, Catherine Gillette,” he kissed her.

“I love you, too,” she hugged him. “Oh!”

“What is it?” he drew back at her gasp.

“It’s snowing again! Let’s go outside!” she shoved her ring box into his hands.

“What about the rest of our gifts?”

“They can wait!” she jumped up like a schoolgirl and ran out the door and down the stairs.

“Wait for me! You cannot go outside like that with only a shawl and fichu. You’ll catch your death!” he shouted after her.

“Nonsense! You just don’t want me to get a head start!” she dashed out of the door ahead of him into the field behind the house.

“At least wear my coat!” he laughed chasing after her. He quickly was met with a snowball to the face. “Ugh! Come here!”

“No, I’ll never surrender to you, lieutenant!” she began fashioning another snowball.

“Then I’m afraid no quarter shall be given!” he laughed and threatened before catching up with her, grabbing her about the waist, and twirling her around causing her to laugh as well. Somehow she managed to free one of her hands and shove the poorly fashioned snowball down the back of his coat, the sudden cold sensation causing him to stumble and lose his footing sending them both into a heap into a small snow drift. “Not fair! Come here!” he rolled on top of her and began kissing her passionately.

“Fraternizing with the enemy. Shame on you!” she smiled gasping slightly for air.

“Guilty as charged,” he rolled off of her as he also tried to catch his breath as the falling snowflakes melted on their cheeks. “I swear I could have you right here and now if I knew we did not risk being seen.”

“Mmm, that would be nice.”

“Tonight, if you up for it, I would like to try something new with my mouth,” he whispered in her ear.

“I would like that very much,” she took his hand and squeezed it as her teeth started to chatter from the cold.

“Well, we better get back inside and thaw you out first. Our clothes are sopping wet,” he chuckled as he got up and pulled her off the ground.

“That’s not the only thing that’s wet,” she teased causing him to lick his lips and groan lowly as he wrapped his coat around her shoulders. “Drew?”

“Yes?”

“I am content,” she hugged him. “And from here on out I will do my best to be happy, too. Thank you for holding me together.”

“It is my honor, love. Now let’s go inside. I’m not sure if I can wait until tonight at this rate.”

“What about the rest of our gifts?”

“The best gift I could ever receive is standing right in front of me wrapped in my coat,” he brushed a stray snowflake off her nose and kissed her again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS: I found hidden away in separate folder some Gillette wedding night smut. Shall I go back and edit it into the appropriate chapter. Or would you like me to post it as a separate vignette to keep the rating of this fic the same? Cheers!


	10. A Transfer for Andrew

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me for taking so long to update. I was off from work sick for six weeks with covid-19 and then bacterial pneumonia. Had fevers something awful.
> 
> We get to hear from James a little bit in this chapter! He will eventually feature more heavily in later chapters.

The Gillettes began to settle quite well into married life now that they were free of emotional upheaval, and Catherine kept her word to Andrew and remained content even after the distractions of the winter holiday season were over. She had not even noticed that her thoughts were no longer drifting so often to James and her feelings for him. She remained busy alongside Molly with little domestic projects around the house and also began contemplating soon raising the idea of having a baby with Andrew. She knew that he was keen to have children. And while they had not exactly been careful to avoid conception during their first few months as husband and wife, she still felt it would be best to formally discuss the matter with him so that they were both in agreement and could plan accordingly together.  
  
Meanwhile, Andrew flourished in his new role as a lieutenant in the Royal Navy. While he was still his old jolly self, his superiors noted that a new sense of responsibility had settled upon him. He reveled in providing leadership to the younger sailors and in overseeing various affairs of the docks and his captain’s ship. Without James overshadowing him any longer, Andrew knew now was his opportunity to prove not only to his commanders but also to himself that he was a fine sailor and that he was a capable and trustworthy man that could one day become a captain if the occasion arose. At home, he delighted that his dear wife seemed to have regained her sense of joy. Stealing kisses from her and seeing her blush still caused him to feel as if his heart were skipping a beat. He could not help but daydream imagining her swollen with his child while watching her work around the house.

While both were very seriously considering speaking to each other about having a child in the near future, neither seemed to get around to bringing up the topic. And such a discussion would not appear to take place any time soon as Andrew returned home from the docks one late March afternoon with the news that he was to be deployed for at least forty days and nights for patrol of the channel and to complete various drills with the fleet at large. As the war with the Spaniards continued in the West Indies, things closer to home became increasingly tense for both empires. The king and his advisors felt it would be best not to let the fleet become lax lest the war abroad required reinforcements or if the Spaniards dare to make a move and attempt to invade English soil. Once again it appeared to Catherine that her emotional fortitude would be tested.

“I am going to miss you terribly. I don’t know what I would do if Molly weren’t here to keep me company,” she snuggled up to Andrew on the window seat after latching his sea chest shut.

“Aye, I will miss you, too, Catie. Forty days is a long time, but I have often found that if I keep myself busy, it goes quickly. I will be back before you know it. Perhaps you can go and visit your aunt and uncle if you find being at home too unbearable.”

“Our bed is going to feel so empty,” she looked at her lap and played with a bit of the fabric of her dress.

Andrew gently took one of her hands, and after kissing her temple whispered, “I know it’s not the same, but you can, well, you know, relieve yourself if you like. Touch yourself whilst thinking of me.”

“Pardon?” she gasped at his suggestion. “No, doctors say it can lead it insanity, and the church says it is a sin.”

“Bosh! It’s only natural. God knows we men do it all the time. If it causes insanity, how is the Royal Navy still afloat, hmm?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Buggery and prostitution?”

“I have done neither, and the same goes for many of my mates. I fully intend to think of you with pleasure within the privacy of my ship quarters at sea. Besides, some doctors and philosophers in France feel that it helps with the prevention of hysterics in women.”

“Really?”

“Yes, not all societies are as repressed as the British, you know,” he scoffed.

“Part of me wishes that I could travel like you to different places and learn new things. I do envy you, James, and your mates at times. Perhaps you could bring me books and other tokens from the places you make port? I want a window into the big wide world that you get to see, even if that window is quite small.”

“Of course I can do that for you, darling. I think you are a very bright woman just as your father raised you to be, and I am glad to see that you are eager to learn about other places and ideas. So, what do you think?” he wiggled his eyebrows.

“About? Oh, that. I don’t know, Drew. I think that I will need to think about it a bit more. Sometimes it’s hard to break away from a manner of thinking about things especially if that’s all you’ve been taught since you were a wee thing.”

“That’s quite alright. Just know that if you decide to try it while I am away, I fully approve, and the thought of you doing it pleases me very much.”

“Well, you are doing quite well to persuade me,” she smirked. “Perhaps you should run for Parliament someday.”

“Oh, I am sure women’s pleasure would be a strong platform for a campaign!” he quipped causing them both to laugh. “I will miss our bantering while I am gone,” he began to resume a serious tone. “I will think of you night and day and write if I can. This will be my first real outing as a lieutenant. I hope that I do not let my captain down. Will you see me off in the morning at the docks?”

“Of course, I will, Drew. And if I receive word of the fleet’s return, I will meet you there,” she nuzzled her head into the crook of his neck.

Catherine managed to keep a brave face as she bid Andrew farewell the next day. In fact, she was a bit proud of herself in that she did not shed any tears until after he was well out of sight. Meanwhile, some of the other young unseasoned naval wives were sobbing the entire time. One even swooned! Dear Molly, intuitive as she was and wanting to lessen Catherine’s separation anxiety, immediately suggested that they play a small game together once they returned home to which Catherine agreed and quickly cheered up. Clever Molly also had collaborated with Andrew and came up with a bit of a schedule of things around the house that needed doing. After the pangs of loneliness settled down a bit about a week after Andrew’s departure, Catherine caught on that Molly and Andrew had plotted together on her behalf when Molly let slip that it was important to stick to “the plan”, but finding said plan agreeable, she continued to go with it anyway.

Just short of midway through Andrew’s time on patrol at sea, a letter from James Norrington arrived at the Gillette household. Although curious, Catherine decided that it was best not to open it until Andrew came home so that they could read it together. She had been doing so well avoiding thinking about James and focusing on Andrew and their married life together, that she just did not want to risk losing any progress that she had made. Therefore, she stowed the letter away in Andrew’s top dresser drawer so that it was out of sight and out of mind. And for the next two weeks, she was successful in forgetting about the letter and about James until another letter arrived. Again, it was addressed to both her and Andrew, but as it was not in James’ handwriting, she decided to open it. She immediately regretted that decision.

_Dear Lieutenant and Mrs. Andrew Gillette,_

_I am writing to you on the behalf of Lieutenant James Norrington who is under my command here at Port Royal in Jamaica. He has taken a bullet to the shoulder during our recent battle with the Spaniards. We were victorious, and thanks be to God, your friend should make a full recovery according to our ship’s surgeon. As his arm is currently in a sling, he is unable to write, so he requested that I write letters on his behalf to both his mother and to you._

_He hopes this letter finds you both well, and he requests your prayers for his health and sincerely hopes to cross paths with you again and soon._

_The young lieutenant is too humble for his own good and did not desire to convey this information, but I will make it known to you that despite his injury he saved my life that day in battle. And for his heroics, I have written to the admiralty requesting that he be put on the fast track to captaincy. Governor Swann is in agreement and has added his voice to my cause. His commanders back in England were much too hard on him and were holding him back, and I have a feeling that it is because some of them had a beef with his father Admiral Norrington. Preposterous! He should have been promoted to lieutenant at least a year or two ago!_

_In the meantime, if there are any changes in his condition that are cause for concern, I will send word with haste. Please do pray for us as we continue to fight against those papist scoundrels. It appears that we may need reinforcements soon if this is to continue. For King and country!_

_His Majesty’s humble servant,_

_Captain Nigel Bracknell_

Catherine clutched the letter to her chest and fought back the urge to cry. _“Poor James! How frightening to be injured and so far from home,”_ she mused. With no second thoughts, she ran to the study and got out a fresh sheet of parchment. _“I must write back to him so he knows we’re thinking of him,”_ she dipped the quill into the ink well.

_Dearest James,_

_We received word from Captain Bracknell of your injury as you had requested of him. I am so sorry to learn of it. Andrew is out on patrol and will not be home for another week or so, but I will inform him as soon as he returns. This is his first official deployment at sea as lieutenant. He is eager to do well and impress his captain. I am very proud of him._

_I know it will be quite some time for this letter to reach you, but I will fervently pray for your recovery and that you are not in much pain. I pray that you will feel God’s comfort as neither Andrew nor I are able to provide you with such from so far away. Oh how I wish we could attend to you during your convalescence. It must be frightfully lonely to be so far away from your loved ones whilst in such a state._

_You have never really spoken to us of your mother. Shall I write to her to inquire if she is coping? Please let us know and send us word when you are well._

_Your faithful friend,_

_Catherine Gillette_

“What a lovely letter, sir. You seem to have nice friends,” a young midshipman smiled folding up Catherine’s letter and putting it in James’ free hand.

“The Gillettes are probably my closest and dearest friends,” James grimaced as he tried to reposition himself on his cot causing him to break out into a cold sweat.

“That’s enough of that, lieutenant! You’ve already fooled around enough and reopened your wound. Now you’re going to give yourself a fever if you keep moving about so much,” an old navy surgeon scolded James as he walked into the infirmary. “It’s bad enough Captain Bracknell is hounding me constantly asking why it’s taking so long to get his first lieutenant back!”

“Thank you for letting me visit with the lieutenant, Mr. McKee. I best be getting back to the docks,” the midshipman bowed and left lest he be the next target of the surgeon’s wrath.

“At least I can still put the fear of God into these young ones,” the surgeon smirked as he sat next to James’ cot on a stool. “You, however, are as stubborn and prideful as your father was, and if you’re not careful, someday it will get you and everyone you care about killed.”

“Thanks for the encouragement, doc,” James about rolled his eyes as the surgeon dabbed some of the sweat off his brow.

“I’m sorry, lad, for being so harsh. It’s just that you’re a good man, James, and I don’t want to see you go to your ruin or worse yet your death. Besides, you’re just as much like your mother as your father, you know.”

“Well, I wouldn’t know. She hasn’t spoken to me for a couple of years now,” he sighed. “And even then when I was a child she never wanted much to do with me for some reason.”

“Aye, women and matters of the heart are very difficult for we simple men to understand. I’m afraid that I’m not much help with that area myself.”

“Women indeed,” James clenched Catherine’s letter a bit tighter in his hand as the surgeon peeled back the dressing on his shoulder to check the wound. “Ah!” he winced.

“Are you sure you don’t want some laudanum? If not for the pain, then well, maybe to at least forget for a little while, if you know what I mean,” he glanced down at the letter before looking back at James. “You are getting a bit feverish. I think it would be best.”

“Fine,” James sulked and took the drug that was offered to him.

“Try and get some sleep for once.”

James nodded and closed his eyes. It was not something openly spoken about, but often times after battles sailors experienced difficulty sleeping, nightmares, tremors in their hands, and other such horrible side effects of what they had seen and done. Thankfully, James was of strong stock and only suffered some mild sleep disturbance from the battle that had resulted in his injury. Unfortunately, it still did not help much with his recovery which was already taking longer than expected. At some point while the surgeon was caring for his wound, James had managed to drift off thanks to the effects of the laudanum.

“Water,” James rasped upon waking up drenched in sweat. “Please, someone. Water.”

“Here you go, lad,” Mr. McKee helped James sit up and take a drink. “Looks like your fever is finally breaking.”

“How long have I been asleep?”

“Just shy of a couple of days.”

“What?”

“You had taken a turn for the worse on me there. Took me a bit by surprise actually. But I think we finally have you headed in the right direction. Perhaps the infection had been festering all that time and it wasn’t completely your fault that the wound reopened,” he explained as he helped James recline back onto his cot. “I don’t mean to pry, but you were asking for someone in your sleep.”

“Who?”

“I’m pretty certain you were calling for a Catie.”

“Oh,” James sullenly wiped the sweat from his face with his free sleeve.

“It’s none of my business, James. Just thought you would want to know. Besides, a man isn’t completely responsible for what he says during a bout of delirium. I don’t know who she is or the nature of your relationship, and I promise not to say anything to anyone else about it.”

“Thank you. It’s-,” he hesitated. “It’s complicated.”

“Let’s not dwell on it then. Let’s get you washed up and sorted. And once you are well enough, you are to immediately meet with Governor Swann, Captain Bracknell, and some members of the admiralty.”

“What for?”

“Rumors are swirling that you are to be promoted. Well done, lieutenant, well done!”

Quite some time had passed since Catherine sent her letter off to James. Andrew returned home not long after that, and she was delighted to have him home again all to herself. He was saddened to learn of James’ injury and hoped that they would soon receive word of his recovery, but both he and Catherine were grateful for they had much to discuss that kept them from lingering on their concern for their friend.

First of all, things in the house started to get interesting as a young man had expressed interest in Molly and requested permission from her parents to court her. Catherine was happy to relieve Molly of some of her duties so she could meet with her beau as she knew eventually either she would have to do all the work around the house herself or they would need to hire a new maid if Molly were to be married. Meanwhile, Catherine’s cousin Charlotte announced that she was now pregnant with her first child. And, Andrew remained quite busy at the docks. He was then required to go to sea again for a slightly shorter time on patrol, and when he returned home, Catherine handed him an unopened letter addressed only to him.

“What does it say?” Catherine impatiently bounced in her chair at the dinner table as he unfolded the piece of paper.

“I’m to meet with the admiralty in London next week. I’ve been given a commission, and I am required to transfer including my household. They will give me further details in person. Well then,” Andrew folded up the letter, “I must admit that I did not see this coming.”

“So, we’re moving?”

“Yes,” he reached across the table and took her hand. “Is that alright?”

Catherine looked at her lap and then looked around the dining room thinking. She had been born in this house. She grew up in this house. Her parents died in this house. She came to love Andrew in this house. She spent her wedding night in this house. She felt Andrew gently stroking her hand with his thumb and looked into his brown eyes. After staring at him briefly, she smiled, “Yes, it’s fine. You are my home, Andrew. I made you a promise. I will go wherever you go. Besides, this is my chance to see a new corner of the world.”

“Bless you, Catie,” he kissed her hand. “I know that it will still be difficult to leave, but let’s make the best of it.”

“I will write to my brother and see if he is happy to deal with the house in whichever way he sees fit. I suppose I better ask Molly to help me start packing some things before that young man snatches her away from us!”

Andrew managed to spend a couple of extra days in London in order to visit his family, but once his meeting with the admiralty and official business were concluded, he went home in haste to share the news with Catherine.

“I suppose that I am not allowed to leave this doorstep until I divulge to you the details of my commission and where we are going,” Andrew was stopped in the doorway by Catherine upon his return home.

“You suppose correctly.”

“My family sends their love by the way.”

“How lovely,” she smiled and pinched his earlobe. “And the commission?”

“Apparently a special request was submitted by my new commanding officer.”

“Tell the story later and just get on with it, Drew!” she pinched a little harder.

“Ouch, you ninny! Fine! The ship is called the HMS _Interceptor_. I will be based in Port Royal in Jamaica and serve under the command of Captain James Norrington. Catie!” Andrew quickly caught Catherine as her knees buckled and her legs went out from under her.

“Gracious,” she giggled nervously as he helped her to her feet.

“Are you alright?”

“I think that I must have been holding my breath in anticipation. Our Jamie? Really?”

“Yes!”

“What providence! How lucky we are to get to see our dear friend again,” she hugged Andrew tightly.

“I was starting to worry as we had not heard from him after the letter from Captain Bracknell. It’s no wonder! He’s been quite busy!”

“So it seems! And, although it is going to be difficult to move, I think that a familiar face will take away a bit of the pain of it all.”

“Of course. Not that I would have had the choice, but honestly, if it were anyone else, I do not think that I would have wanted to transfer,” Andrew admitted. “Well, seems we have much work to do now to prepare.”

The time leading up to the Gillettes’ move to Port Royal went very quickly and all of their plans soon fell into place. Difficult decisions were quickly made as to what personal and sentimental effects could be taken and what must be left behind. Catherine’s brother Jonathan was more than happy to deal with the house and decided that he would rent it out to the navy until his oldest child was of age and was ready to have a household of their own which gave her comfort that ultimately the house and furniture would remain within the family. The Gillettes received many farewell visits including those from her aunt and uncle as well as Charlotte, who was just starting to show her pregnancy, and her husband. Lastly, at the very end, there was a final very tearful farewell between Molly and Catherine.

Most of the Gillettes’ belongings were being shipped out ahead of them from the port near their home on a merchant vessel, and the rest, mostly clothing and a few precious items, stayed with them as they were to make their way to London and then sail from Portsmouth. After Andrew finished helping the carriage driver load their chests, he instructed the driver to take them to the local parish church. Catherine had one more thing that she needed to do.

Upon arriving at the church, Andrew helped Catherine out of the carriage and escorted her to the churchyard. In her hand, Catherine clutched some flowers from the garden of which her mother was quite fond. Locating her parent’s headstones, she reverently placed the buds upon the graves and felt Andrew wrap his arm around her waist as she shed a few quiet tears.

“Sometimes I feel as if I am still just a little girl,” Catherine quietly confessed. “I let my emotions turn me into a fool and I feel like I don’t know a damn thing about anything. I just hope that they would not have been disappointed in me.”

“But you’re still only just sixteen, Catie. Give yourself some credit. You still have some growing up to do. We both do.”

“Especially you,” she managed to crack a smile. “Mother, father, I hope that we both make you proud.”

As they were only staying in London for a couple of days so that Andrew could finalize some things with the admiralty, they were to stay with his family much to Catherine’s delight. His mother greeted them each with a tight, warm hug before shooing Catherine inside and nagging Andrew to get moving and help his father bring their things into the house from the carriage. His sisters Sarah and Rebecca showered them both in various pastries and sweets that they had made for them, and Catherine found herself longing to have been able to spend more time with the Gillette family before this time of parting. At the dinner table that evening, Andrew and his father discussed some problems his father had been having with a former business partner before Mrs. Gillette banged on the table and scolded him for discussing work matters at the table.

“Our son is leaving these lands to possibly go off to war and all you want to discuss is work!” she protested.

“Fine then, woman, what would you like to talk about?” Mr. Gillette smirked.

“So when are we going to get grandchildren?” she looked to Andrew while brushing her crimson curls out of her freckled face.

“Uh…” Andrew started to stammer.

“I can’t wait to have children with Andrew,” Catherine smiled and elbowed him in his side.

“Lord knows we’ve been making love often enough for it to happen,” he managed to squeak out.

Mrs. Gillette gasped. “Andrew Maurice Gillette, little pitchers!” she scolded and indicated the presence of his youngest sister Sarah.

“Mummy, I know how babies are made. Millie told me all about it!” little Sarah declared causing Mrs. Gillette to become even more exasperated.

“Don’t worry, son, we Gillettes are of strong, virile stock. It will happen. Just keep at it!” Mr. Gillette grinned causing both Andrew and Catherine to smile and blush.

“Never you mind these two,” Mrs. Gillette pointed her fork at her husband and Andrew. “I’m just happy to see how well you’ve been taking care of my boy. Finally getting some weight onto that lanky lad! I just hope he’s treating you right.”

“Andrew has been nothing short of wonderful to me, mum,” Catherine reassured her. “I’ve been through quite a lot the last few months and he’s been such a strength and comfort to me. I have been very blessed.”

Their finally full day in London was a bit eventful. After Andrew finished with the admiralty, he was to meet with his father at his place of business. Upon arriving, he could hear his father arguing with someone inside and some glass breaking so he ran inside.

“What’s going on in here?” Andrew demanded as burst into the room with his hand on his pistol.

“Mind your own business!” a man holding a broken bottle warned him.

“Nothing to worry yourself about, son,” Mr. Gillette tried to reassure him. “Just having a disagreement with my former business partner Michael Jacobs. Go on home.”

“Ah, your navy boy. What are ye going to do, lad?” Mr. Jacobs pointed the broken bottle at Andrew.

Recently learning full well the trouble the alcoholic Mr. Jacobs had caused his father including a bad business deal that could have landed him in prison and the rest of the family in the work house, Andrew felt nothing but rage at the man’s taunting. “You will leave the premises and never return, do you hear me?” Andrew spat at him.

“Or what?”

“I’ll make you leave and make sure you can never come back.”

“Go on then, shoot me!”

Andrew took off his hat, wig, and coat and handed them and his pistol to his father before grabbing Mr. Jacobs by the shirt. Mr. Jacobs was taken by surprise and dropped the broken bottle. Andrew quickly pushed him outside the front door, and mistakenly thinking the situation was under control, turned to go inside when he was tackled into the ground face first by the drunkard. Things escalated quickly as the two men scuffled and a crowd started to gather.

“Andrew, stop! He’s not worth it!” Mr. Gillette tried to persuade his son who was now straddling and pummeling Mr. Jacobs with multiple punches.

“That’s enough!” a local watchman intervened and two other local men helped him pull Andrew off of Mr. Jacobs. “Mr. Gillette, I think it would be best if you take your son home. We’ll deal with this riffraff Jacobs. I’m sorry that he’s been causing you so much trouble. Bastard should be in prison.”

Gathering Andrew’s belongings and locking up, Andrew and his father headed for home. Mr. Gillette scolded his son at first for meddling but then could not help and shower him with praise for the beating he had managed to give Mr. Jacobs. Both men braced themselves for the tongue-lashing they knew they were going to receive from Mrs. Gillette upon seeing the state of Andrew upon their return home.

“Andrew, what happened?” Catherine ran to him noting that his lip was bloodied, his cheek was bruised, and his clothes were a mess.

“I simply helped my father take out the rubbish. Ow!” he winced as she began dabbing his lip with her handkerchief.

“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!” Mrs. Gillette exclaimed. “You know that I do not tolerate fighting! You both better explain yourselves before I bend you over my knee and lash it out of you in turn!”

While Catherine tended to Andrew’s wounds, Mr. Gillette quickly spun a tale that Mr. Jacobs had gone after him, and luckily, Andrew arrived just in time and had saved him which was actually not far from the truth as far as he was concerned. Mrs. Gillette, while still not amused, found his answer acceptable and then joined Catherine in doting her son with attention.

The next morning was full of kisses, tears, and hugs as Andrew and Catherine bid his family farewell. And for once, as they rode along in the carriage making their way out of London, it was Andrew that shed a few tears in grieving the things that he would most likely miss in terms of seeing his sisters grow up like his eldest sister Rebecca get married soon enough. He particularly had a soft spot for little Sarah and knew he would miss her dearly.

Upon arriving in Portsmouth, the couple was provided with lodgings for the night, and the next morning their belongings were loaded onto the ship. After various debriefings from the captain and what felt like ages, the ship finally set sail. As the English coast started to fade into the distance, Andrew crossed the deck and stood by Catherine who had been essentially watching her former life disappear.

“We should go to our assigned cabin and get some rest,” Andrew gently took her hand. “Are you alright?”

“Yes, I am surprisingly doing fine. And it seems that so far I am not seasick which is good.”

“The other day when we were at the dinner table, did you mean it? Are you eager to have my children?”

“Of course, Drew. I meant it with all of my heart.”

“Darling, Catie, how I love you,” he beamed. “As I have no duties on this ship, during this time perhaps we should, you know, put all our energies in trying to get ourselves a new member of our family, a new addition to our new life in a new world.”

“I agree, and I love you, too.”


	11. Philadelphia House

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive me for such a delay in updating. I have been quite unwell this year, and my doctors are still working to confirm a diagnosis. But thank you to all for your kudos, follows, and comments.
> 
> This chapter turned out much differently than I had originally planned, but that storyline will happen in the next chapter instead. I do hope you enjoy.

After several weeks of sailing with more than one slight detour to avoid tropical storms typical of the summer season, the ship the Gillettes were on made port in Philadelphia as the captain decided it would be prudent to restock the ship’s supplies before journeying to its final destination of Jamaica. The ship also sustained a small amount of damage and needed some minor repairs after recently getting caught within the fringes of one of said storms.

“Easy now,” Andrew helped Catherine steady herself as they disembarked down the ramp onto the docks. “You’re going to find the sensation of walking on solid ground odd at first after being at sea for so long.”

As they stood outside the dock offices and waited for a couple of their trunks to be unloaded, Catherine took a deep breath and noted aloud, “For being a city, the air here is so fresh compared to London.”

“Well, New World and all that,” Andrew shrugged. “Outside of the native and colonial settlements, much of the land is vast wilderness. As much as I love the sea, I do admit that there’s a curious part of me that would love to explore this land.”

“Perhaps once the war with the Spaniards is over and the Caribbean seaways are secure again you will get transferred to one of these colonies. Lord knows they’ve been contested over before, and I have a feeling they will be again.”

“If Spain loses its strongholds in the Caribbean, it will certainly then struggle to maintain its colonies here on the mainland. And I’m sure the French are licking their chops to try to make gains in acquiring more land. Are you unwell?” he asked noting that Catherine had developed a fine sheen of sweat on her face and looked pale.

“I am a bit tired and too warm. I am likely just getting overheated from the sun.”

“And the past few days onboard were quite wearisome for everyone. I know that we are both eager to explore the city, but I think we should get some rest first. Besides,” he gently felt her cheek, “you feel a bit feverish. Perhaps I should get the ship’s surgeon.”

“No no, that will not be necessary. A change into some lighter petticoats and rest should be adequate. But if I feel worse, then I will agree to a consultation.”

“As you wish, darling.”

After their belongings were unloaded onto a carriage, the Gillettes transferred to a local inn. Freshening up and changing into cooler clothing, Catherine decided to take a cat nap while Andrew went in search of something for them to eat. It did not take long for him to return, and he frowned upon noting that Catherine appeared to have broken out into a cold sweat in her sleep. He sat next to the bed and proceeded to use her hand fan to try and make her more comfortable. Once satisfied that she seemed to have stopped sweating and was sleeping peacefully, Andrew opened a copy of the most recent edition of the local newspaper that he had purchased whilst out in search of food.

After letting out a big yawn and having a good stretch, Catherine sat up on the bed. “What are you reading?”

“ _The Pennsylvania Gazette_. Well written and enjoyable, but unfortunately no news of the war from this side of the Atlantic as I had hoped. You had a horrible cold sweat while you were asleep. How are you feeling?”

“Refreshed. Some sleep without getting tossed about was just what I needed. I’m famished! What did you find?”

Despite lingering fatigue and some further nightly cold sweats, Catherine felt well enough to accompany Andrew and spend some time out in the city during the remainder of their stay. On their final day before setting sail once again, Andrew, reminding her of his promise to get her things from places that he had visited, insisted that she choose a couple items for him to purchase for her. She initially protested saying that it did not count because she was actually there with him. Her refusal caused him to playfully pout, so of course, she relented and chose a small decorative comb for her hair and a copy of the 1740 edition of _Poor Richard's Almanack_.

While the first half of their voyage required diversions, the second half at least did not involve any further storms. After a brief stop in port in Virginia to deploy another officer, his family, and some midshipmen, their course kept close to the coast. They then made a wide berth around Spanish Florida before heading into the Caribbean. Things were slightly tense not knowing if they would encounter any of the Spanish fleet or not.

“The captain says that we should reach Port Royal well before dusk tomorrow,” Andrew joined Catherine at the rail of the quarterdeck where she stood admiring the sunset. He lovingly played with a lock of her hair with his fingers. “I must say that I am relieved. The last thing I would have wanted would be to enter combat with you on board.”

“I guarantee you that with being so close to our destination and how weary I am that I would not have let any Spaniards delay us any further,” Catherine smirked. “But, in all seriousness, given that we are essentially going to be living in a region of conflict, I was hoping that you could perhaps teach me to defend myself if only out of a sense of caution.”

“I think that would be wise,” Andrew pulled her close. “I am also relieved to see that you have the color back in your cheeks, Catie.”

“Yes, I feel myself again. And now we are nearly home.”

Since leaving Philadelphia, Catherine felt something shift within her heart. The first half of their journey she felt full of wonder, hope, and excitement. And while she still felt those things, she now started once again to feel the stirrings of guilt, conflict, and a sense of hunger within her soul. James. They would soon meet again. On one hand, she greatly anticipated seeing him, and yet on the other hand, she dreaded it. And now it was going to happen imminently.

Just as the captain had predicted, they docked in Port Royal’s harbor mid-afternoon the next day. The Gillettes had already gathered their things away into their chests that morning, and a midshipman assisted Andrew in lugging them onto deck where the crew would transfer them to shore once the docking procedure was completed.

“Come, come,” Andrew smiled and took Catherine by the hand leading her out of their quarters and onto the quarterdeck. “We’re finally home. I believe that is Fort Charles over there,” he pointed out a fortified structure.

Ensuring that it was safe to disembark and thanking the captain for a safe journey, the Gillettes ensured all of their belongings were accounted for and went to the dock office to receive further information about where they were to go from there.

“Lieutenant Gillette, I presume?” a well dressed man approached the couple who nodded. “Lieutenant, madam,” he bowed, “I am Captain Norrington’s steward Mr. Tremaine. The good captain sends his deepest regrets that he cannot be here to greet you personally at the end of such a long journey. Unfortunately, the Spaniards have delayed his return home.” The steward handed Andrew a note addressed to them both written in James’ handwriting.

_“My beloved friends,_

_It was my greatest hope to be able to greet you personally upon your arrival to Port Royal, but as it seems unforeseen circumstances have thus prevented me from doing so, I have entrusted my steward Mr. Tremaine with escorting you to your new home. I do hope that you do not mind that I took the liberties of selecting a property and furnishing it for you before your arrival. If you find it unsatisfactory, of course, you are welcome to find a home that better suits your preferences at your convenience. The belongings that you sent ahead are already awaiting you there. One of my maids will tend to your home and ensure that you are well cared for until you have settled and can employ a staff of your own. I greatly long for our joyous reunion and pray that I will return to Port Royal soon._

_Your faithful friend,  
_ _James Norrington”_

“Bless him,” Andrew smiled folding up the note and putting it in his pocket after they had read it. “He certainly thought ahead of everything.”

“The captain does love to strategize and plan for all eventualities,” Mr. Tremaine smiled. “Thankfully, the word is that he should return within the next day or two, God willing. You both must be tired and keen to get settled into your new home. Would you like me to escort you there now?”

“That would be lovely, thank you,” Catherine smiled.

Mr. Tremaine sat with James’ driver out in the front of the carriage allowing the Gillettes some privacy. As they weaved throughout the town, Andrew and Catherine gazed out the windows taking in their new surroundings. Like all urban areas, Port Royal had areas that were a bit rough around the edges. But even the rough areas here seemed to be lively and colorful compared to the other cities the couple had visited. Soon the carriage approached a more affluent area of Port Royal which was occupied by wealthier members of society and naval officers. Catherine pointed out a large manor to Andrew guessing that it was the governor’s mansion. The carriage rounded a bend in the road, entered an area that was still well kept but not as highly populated, and finally pulled up to a moderately sized brick home with plenty of land surrounding it.

The door of the carriage was opened and the Gillettes got out relieved to finally be home. The driver and a footman who was waiting at the property started unloading the chests from the carriage. Mr. Tremaine smiled, “Welcome to your new home. It hasn’t even been given a proper name yet! The captain was hoping you could come up with something, madam.”

“Oh, I see. Well, I will certainly try.”

Once inside, Mr. Tremaine introduced the Gillettes to a maid named Melinda who would be assisting them until they hired their own staff. Mr. Tremaine explained that he would return the next day to provide a proper tour of the external property and excused himself. Melinda showed them around the house, and once ensuring they were comfortable, excused herself to go start making supper.

“Let’s worry about unpacking tomorrow,” Andrew suggested as the couple plopped down onto a settee. “Do you think James had this house built specifically for us? It’s only slightly larger than your family home, but it feels a bit grand even for someone with the salary of a lieutenant. It seems to have everything that we would want in a home. And no name yet?”

“It does feel suspicious, Drew.”

“And we’re to have a staff under our employ?”

“Well, you are going to be a first lieutenant now. Although, we really only would need a maid and perhaps a fellow to help out with the landscaping and if we decide to get any livestock. If we can afford it, why not?”

“I suppose.”

“If we asked James, would he even admit to it if he did in fact have this house built for us?” Catherine arched a brow.

“You know how he is, Catie, him and his secrets. Whether he did or not, I am content to stay here out of a sense of gratitude, and well, I honestly really like the house,” he grinned. “But only if you are agreeable.”

“I am agreeable,” she smiled.

“I fear we will have to serve James many meals to repay him for this kindness!”

“You just want me to make him fat!”

As promised, Mr. Tremaine returned the next day and showed the Gillettes the extent of their property which gave them respite from all of the unpacking they had been doing with Melinda’s assistance. He also showed them that a ten minute walk down the road back towards the city led to a grand view of Port Royal, particularly Fort Charles, and a view of the ocean. Andrew made a mental note that the site definitely required a bench placed there. Upon returning to the home, Mr. Tremaine recalled that rumors were swirling at the docks of the _Interceptor_ ’s imminent return. Before taking his leave, he promised to let them know of James’ arrival immediately and that they should expect to be invited to dine at the captain’s residence.

That evening at dusk, Andrew and Catherine took a blanket and a spyglass back to the site overseeing the city. Despite being tired from all the work they had put in unpacking their crates and chests, Andrew was keen to hopefully get a glimpse of the _Interceptor_ out on the horizon even though it was only rumored to be returning soon.

Just as it was starting to get too dark requiring them to return home soon lest they lose their way as they hadn’t brought a source of light with them, Andrew shouted and pointed, “Oi! Over there!” Looking in his spyglass, “It’s one of ours! I’m almost certain of it!” He handed the spyglass to Catherine so she could have a better look.

“Hmm, definitely Royal Navy. I can see the flag,” she smiled and handed it back to him so he could see, too.

“Look at her go! Seems to be making good time. It surely is the _Interceptor_. The dock-master said that the she was almost certainly the fastest vessel commissioned to His Majesty’s service. And I am going to be serving on her with my best friend under his command,” he couldn’t help but beam with pride causing Catherine to smile and give him a big kiss on the cheek. After they both took turns a couple more times to look at the ship as it creeped closer to the port, they reluctantly returned home.

Sure enough, the next day late morning, the Gillettes received word that James had indeed returned and had sent an invitation to dine with him at his home that evening. With this news, Catherine started feeling the stirrings within her heart again and so quickly busied herself with continuing to sort out various rooms of the house as a source of distraction.

That evening, some of James’ household staff stood outside in a line to greet the Gillettes. As the carriage drove away leaving them to await one of the staff to escort them inside, they could hear some commotion coming from inside the house. Suddenly the front door opened and James squeezed between his staff running towards his friends like a young lad.

“Andrew!” James embraced his friend with a slightly uncharacteristic display of emotion.

“James, how we’ve missed you!” Andrew hugged him back tightly. “How happy I am to see you again!”

“Dear old friend,” he smiled. Once released from Andrew’s grip, James then turned to Catherine and gently took her small hand and kissed it. “Catherine, you look well.”

“As do you, Captain Norrington,” she adopted a formal tone, “for which I am greatly relieved.”

“I thank you for the letter that you sent me when I was injured. It brought me great comfort knowing that you were remembering me in your prayers.”

“How has your injury come along?” Andrew inquired.

“Still a bit stiff some mornings,” James rolled his left shoulder about, “but otherwise well mended. I suppose we have much to discuss. Please come inside.” He led them into a sparsely decorated sitting room and had them sit together on a settee. “You will both always be welcome here at my home. No invitation required. Come at once if you ever need anything.”

“The same for you and ours, Jamie,” Andrew nodded. “You selected a splendorous home for us. You have been so generous in the time and effort you have spent to prepare things for our arrival. Hasn’t he, Catie?”

“Yes, you have been most kind to us,” she nodded in agreement. “Thank you.”

“I would do anything for you,” James’ maintained eye contact with Catherine who blushed and looked down at her lap. Andrew was busy looking about the room and did not take notice of their brief intimate interaction.

“Sir,” Mr. Tremaine stood in the doorway, “Mrs. Stroud has informed me that dinner is ready to be served.”

Grateful that the navy officers were in a very chatty mood with each other, Catherine quietly listened to them as she ate her dinner. Their discussions covered many topics some of which were the current war with Spain, the _HMS Interceptor_ , life in Port Royal, Andrew’s commission, and more. Of course, Andrew proudly showed James the watch he had received from Catherine in celebration of his promotion.

“Catherine, I must apologize. I know that you have only just arrived here in Port Royal, but I am afraid that I am going to have to take Andrew away from you for a couple of weeks on patrol already. We must set out early Monday morning,” James explained later that evening as they ate their pudding in the garden.

“Oh, I see,” she frowned slightly.

“It will provide you with the perfect chance to decorate and settle our home however you see fit without my interference,” Andrew gently nudged her in the arm with his elbow. “You can start looking for staff to hire and explore the city as well.”

“I suppose you are right. I should look at this as a favorable opportunity. Besides, you’ve done enough meddling around the house as it is and we’ve only just started unpacking,” she teased.

“Me? Meddle? Well, I never!” he gasped.

James smiled at his friends’ banter before continuing, “Again, I’m sorry about this. Andrew, you’ll need to start on the _Interceptor_ soon enough as it is, and well, I really could use your help. Otherwise, I would have given you a bit more time at home.”

“No, it’s alright. As you said at dinner, we need to step up patrols and ensure these waters are protected,” Andrew stated resolved. “It’s my duty to the crown, the empire, and my beloved wife.”

As the Gillettes settled into bed next to each other that night, they discussed their time spent with James and Andrew’s impending deployment on patrol. Sensing some trepidation in Catherine, Andrew reassured her that he would be home soon and that he would fulfill his promise of teaching her to defend herself. He also encouraged her to start thinking about all of the wonderful things she would be doing in their home and how much he looked forward to seeing it upon his return.

Andrew quickly drifted off to sleep leaving Catherine alone with her thoughts. She pondered within her heart about how their time spent with James was almost like the old days when the men were only midshipmen and would share tales with her of their time at sea. _“Yet so much has changed.”_ The way that James had looked into her eyes left her riddled with doubts and wondering if she was once again just imagining that he felt something deeper than mere friendly affection for her. _“And I shouldn’t even be concerning myself with any of this! Must this always be a thorn in my side?”_

The two weeks of Andrew’s patrol went as quickly for Catherine as it did for him thanks to busying herself around the house. The house contained a room designed to be a small library which Catherine knew had to be James’ doing. After lovingly putting their belongings away in the exact places she wanted them, she went about making plans for the decor. All the while, she thought about what name she could possibly give to their home. Of course, Andrew showered her with praise upon seeing the work she had done during his absence. Catherine was just happy to have him home again.

As they lounged in their garden reading one sunny afternoon, she announced, “I have decided with much thinking and difficulty.”

“Decided what?”

“What to call our home. Philadelphia House.”

“Brotherly love,” Andrew beamed. “Perfect.”


	12. Scourge of Piracy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some housekeeping (literally). Some character development as well as backstory that will eventually lead to the time period of Curse of the Black Pearl. Some Easter eggs/borrowed quotes. 
> 
> Warnings: character death, mild gore, description of death
> 
> *consumption = a term that was used for tuberculosis

Having settled into their new home in Port Royal, Catherine and Andrew finally agreed on setting about finding a maid to help out around the house. For the time being, they would defer on hiring any men as there was no need. While there were many women experienced in doing maid work in Port Royal, Catherine hoped to find someone on the younger side close to her age to give her some companionship while Andrew was at sea.

Finally, after meeting with a handful of candidates, Catherine met a young Dutch woman in the market named Eleonora who preferred to go by Nellie. Nellie’s mother had passed away several years ago. Her father, Bram, defected from the Dutch navy after losing a leg in battle and now worked as a sailmaker in Port Royal. They both had only arrived just a few weeks prior to the Gillettes, and Nellie was keen to get started at Philadelphia House sensing that she and Catherine would get along quite splendidly.The Gillettes hosted Nellie and Bram for dinner as Andrew thought that Bram would prove to be an excellent resource in carrying out his duties helping to manage the _Interceptor_.

A couple months or so had passed since leaving port at Philadelphia, and Catherine was once again starting to feel fatigued and experiencing episodes of fevers and night sweats. Initially, she did not tell anyone of her illness and did her best to push through her symptoms and complete her work. However, finally, one Sunday afternoon as she was helping Nellie with dinner, she felt dizzy and nearly fainted plopping herself into a chair just in time.

“Lieutenant!” Nellie shouted for Andrew’s help.

Andrew ran to the kitchen from the library where he had been reading Catherine’s copy of _Poor Richard’s Almanack_. “Catie, darling,” he stooped at her side and patted the sweat off her forehead with his handkerchief, “you’re burning up.”

“I’m just overheated,” Catherine insisted.

“I think we should get her to bed, sir,” Nellie suggested.

“Aye,” he agreed and helped Catherine out of the chair and upstairs to their bedroom with Nellie trailing behind them. After helping Catherine change into her nightgown and get settled, he sat on the edge of the bed and took her hand. “I really do think we should have you seen by a doctor.”

“No, it is pointless. I’m just struggling to get used to the warmer weather here and have pushed myself too hard. That is all. With some rest for a few days, I will be good as new.”

“Catie, what if you have consumption?” his face was creased with worry. “My mate’s sister had it. She had wasted away to nothing. By the time she was diagnosed and sent away to get treated, it was too late. I couldn’t bear to lose you.”

“I don’t have consumption. Now give me a small glass of brandy, which is likely what the doctor would recommend anyway, and I will get some sleep.” Noting a tear rolling down Andrew’s cheek, she sat up and embraced him patting him on the back. “Darling, I will be fine. I promise. Do not fret so.”

“The very moment you take a turn for the worse I am getting a doctor,” he huffed and wiped the tear off his cheek. “I’ll go get the brandy.”

Just like the previous time, Catherine gradually improved and by the week’s end felt completely herself again. Despite the improvement in her health, Andrew continued to sulk a bit around the house to the point of hovering around her more than usual. She started to feel tempted to contrive a reason for him to go and spend more time with James. Thankfully, a new distraction appeared in their lives in the form of an invitation to dinner hosted by Governor Swann the week next. In speaking with James, Andrew discovered that it was to be an intimate affair with just the governor, his daughter, James, and the Gillettes.

On the day, which the weather was threatening rain, James arrived at Philadelphia House in his carriage to pick up his friends. As the carriage pulled up, he noted Andrew running back inside the house whilst Catherine stood out front.

“Where did he run off to?” he asked as he straightened his uniform after getting out of the carriage.

“He realized that he was wearing one of his old cravats that has a stain on it. He shouldn’t be long,” Catherine explained as it started to drizzle. “Oh dear, I don’t want to ruin my new dress standing in the rain.”

“Come, let us get inside,” James motioned to the carriage, helped her get in, and then joined her closing the door behind him. “Catherine, if I may say, you do look exquisite in that shade of green.”

_“Damn, it’s the same shade of green as his eyes! Why hadn’t I thought of that when I bought the material?”_ she began to feel flushed. “Thank you, Captain Norrington. You’re very kind.”

“Why such formalities? Please, call me James like the old times,” he pleaded earnestly. “Nothing has changed between us.”

“Much has changed. You’re my husband’s superior officer now, and society would find it scandalous if we were to speak to one another with excessive familiarity and intimacy.”

“But not when we’re in private.”

“You didn’t even tell us goodbye!” she snapped before biting her bottom lip to hold back her tears.

“Catie, I-“

“Alright,” the carriage door opened and Andrew barged in and sat next to Catherine, “now we can go. Hope this rain doesn’t get any worse.”

“I certainly hope it doesn’t,” James mumbled quietly.

Thankfully by the time they had arrived to the governor’s mansion, the rain had stopped. The Gillettes felt awestruck at the large manor. They were escorted inside to a parlor where Governor Weatherby Swann was waiting and introduced himself. Catherine quickly found him amiable and a kindred spirit and looked forward to getting to know him better.

“Father!” a young woman suddenly burst into the room. “Look what William made for me!” she held up a small iron spoon.

“Oh, Elizabeth!” Governor Swann cringed. “You’re supposed to be getting ready for dinner. We have guests! How many times have I told you to stay away from that William Turner. And look at your skirts! You’ve got soot from the smithy all over them! Estrella will box your ears! Now hurry and get washed and dressed!”

“Yes, father,” Elizabeth frowned and sulked out of the room.

“Please forgive my daughter. I don’t know what to do with that child. She’s nearly fifteen, and yet, all she wants to do is run around with that blacksmith’s apprentice like a child. I caught them playing with old rusty swords the other day. She’s lucky that she didn’t get hurt! I love her dearly, but I think she will be the death of me! Perhaps I should send her back to England to live with my sister who can teach her etiquette and some manners. God knows she never listens to me. If only my late wife was still with us. How I miss her. She was far too young when she passed.” He sighed, “Elizabeth must be married off well, but I don’t know how I’ll manage at this rate.”

“Have faith, Governor Swann. I am confident you will find her a good match,” James tried to encourage him.

The Governor’s head steward informed the party that dinner was ready and led them to the grandest dining room Andrew or Catherine had ever seen. The meal was equally grand and was to have five courses. Catherine was relieved that she had asked Nellie not to tie her stay laces too tightly.

After being seated, Governor Swann continued to tell the dinner party about his beloved wife. Andrew inquired what had brought about her untimely death. “Consumption” was the response. This, of course, caused Andrew to bring up Catherine’s recent health troubles and his worry that she could have the deadly disease. 

“If do not mind my prying, what kind of symptoms are you having, Mrs. Gillette?” the governor inquired.

“Fatigue, fevers, and night sweats. The episodes of illness are short-lived, but my dear husband frets ever so much over me,” Catherine answered.

“Then you are a lucky woman to have a husband with such unwavering love for you,” he smiled. “I do think, though, that it would be wise for you to see a doctor. How old are you?”

“I turned seventeen over the summer.”

“Oh, and still so young! Please, I insist. I will ask my doctor to see you at your home within the week if you agree.”

Andrew squeezed her hand under the table leading her to answer, “Thank you, Governor Swann, I assent.”

“Our dear naval officers and I have our duty to the crown and the empire. Naval wives have a duty to their husbands and therefore are equally essential to the wellbeing of the empire.”

“What he’s saying, Catie,” Andrew could no longer hold back, “is that I need you. You keep me going. You’re the reason I am willing to go out there and face those bloody Spaniards and pirates in battle at the risk of death. As far as I am concerned, if I didn’t have you, the empire could rot.”

“I think that I understand what you both mean. I’m sorry if I have been causing you distress over my health, darling,” she leaned over and gave him a peck on the cheek.

“Madam,” James started, “when you married the lieutenant, you essentially married the Royal Navy. We’re a family, and you are one of ours now no matter what may happen to him. Our loved ones are why we do what we do on the high seas. Any officer worth his salt will protect you whether it be your honor or your very life. It’s that important. And so the governor is right. You are greatly needed. We _all_ need you.”

Feeling the effects of his wine, Governor Swann raised his glass and toasted, “To His Majesty’s Navy!”

“To His Majesty’s Navy!” everyone joined him and drank.

“And to the women that help us to endure!” James added raising his glass again and nodding at Catherine.

“To our women!” the other men echoed.

“Huzzah!” the governor giddily exclaimed. “How encouraging to know such passionate young people!”

Once they finished their first course, Elizabeth meekly entered the dining room. Everyone stood from their chairs to greet her. “Please forgive my rudeness earlier and my tardiness to dinner,” she curtseyed. The men bowed, Catherine curtseyed, and they all took their seats again. She leaned over and whispered to the governor, “I am sorry for embarrassing you, father.”

“Dear child, all is forgiven,” he smiled and whispered back. “Now remember, please do not play with your food like you did the last time we had guests.” He then proceeded to properly introduce her and the Gillettes to each other.

Once home, Andrew and Catherine shared their thoughts with each other about Governor Swann and Miss Elizabeth. They both concluded that they admired Swann and were grateful for his kindness. Of course, Andrew thought Elizabeth was an interesting young woman, perhaps because her antics reminded him a bit of himself. Catherine felt a distaste for the girl that she could not quite explain.

“Poor Weatherby had to remind her not to play with her food, and he was so embarrassed by her behavior. And to think James wrote admirably of her in his letters,” Catherine scoffed.“Her father loves her desperately, and she walks all over him. Disobedient, ungrateful little wench!”

“Catie!” Andrew felt flummoxed. “I have never heard such ungracious speech come from you before. I think you need to give Miss Elizabeth another chance. And maybe James had reason to speak highly of her before. Maybe it’s that Turner lad that’s the bad seed.”

“Perhaps, and for all we know he was a pirate’s ship boy. Remember they found him amongst the wreckage of a ship that was destroyed from a pirate attack. He could have fallen overboard from the pirate ship and left behind.”

“I hope that isn’t the case. How I despise pirates,” he spat, “vile lot of creatures."

Having accepted Governor Swann’s gracious offer, his doctor visited the Gillettes at Philadelphia House later that week to see Catherine and address Andrew’s concerns. After asking her about her symptoms and examining her, the doctor declared that she was currently in good health and that he was satisfied that she likely did not have consumption or hysterics. “Weak constitution” was possibly the source of her ailments, and rest and a small bit of brandy was the suggested treatment if she were to feel unwell again. 

Closing the front door as the doctor left, Andrew leaned against it and muttered “thank God” before starting to sniffle.

Catherine hugged him tightly. Sensing that he was feeling better, she couldn’t help but quip flirtatiously,“Thank goodness you taught me what to do to prevent hysterics!” causing him to laugh.

A couple of weeks later, the Gillettes had James over to their home properly for the first time. It would be the first of many visits he would make over the years. Of course, he praised Catherine for all of the work she had put in to make the house a home that any person would feel welcome to visit. She thanked him, and he couldn’t help but sigh sadly when she once again called him Captain Norrington. After dinner, they all retired to the sitting room.

“Ah, I nearly forgot, Andrew,” James reached inside his coat and removed a letter from his pocket. “This letter arrived for you yesterday.”

“Thank you,” Andrew took the letter from James. “Do you mind if I read it?”

“Go on,” he replied as Catherine brought in a tray with some refreshments and set it on a side table.

“It’s from my father’s brother, my Uncle Patrice,” Andrew noted aloud before proceeding to read the letter. Catherine noted Andrew’s brow furrowing as he continued, and in a matter of seconds, he collapsed unconscious with his wig coming off and laying on the floor beside him.

“Andrew!” she rushed to his side and gently patted his cheek before brushing stray hair from his face. “What is wrong with him?”

James quickly shrugged off his coat and knelt beside them placing the coat under Andrew’s head. He then put his ear to Andrew’s chest. “It is alright, Catherine. He’s alive. He has only fainted,” he explained as he took the letter out of Andrew’s hand and started to read it. “Dear God in heaven,” he gasped.

“What is it?”

“Andrew’s parents and his sisters are dead. There was a fire. They died in their sleep.”

“What?” her jaw dropped. She started to get tears in her eyes as she stroked Andrew’s hair.

“It is believed that the fire was an arson. A certain Michael Jacobs was being pursued by the authorities but managed to escape. Rumor is that he has previously been wanted for acts of piracy. The bastard,” James spat as he put the letter down and took hold of Andrew’s hand. “I’m so sorry.”

“That man. I know that name! He had worked for Andrew’s father. He’s a drunk and did some bad business that nearly put Mr. Gillette in prison. When we were in London, Andrew found Jacobs threatening his father in his shop. Andrew got into a fight with him and gave him a good pounding. The watchmen took matters from there.”

“I have been amassing documentation and information on those who have been previously convicted or suspected of piracy. I have the folio in my office. Is there anything else you know about this miscreant? Did Andrew describe him at all?”

“He mentioned to me that Jacobs has a large scar down the left side of his face likely from a slash wound from a dagger or sword. Unfortunately, that is all I know.”

Andrew moaned slightly as he started to regain consciousness. Once he was awake enough, James grabbed a glass of cordial from the tray Catherine had brought in earlier and had Andrew take a couple sips. As he seemed to be steady enough, they helped him sit up and then get up onto the settee.

“Andrew?” Catherine sat down next to him and cupped his cheek. Andrew looked at Catherine and James, and upon seeing the letter on the floor, he started to sob. Catherine pulled him close and had him rest his head in the crook of her neck. James sat on the other side of Andrew and put his hand on his shoulder. He could not help but to feel anguished seeing his friend so heartbroken. Once they were able to soothe Andrew and he had stopped crying, he was exhausted and out of sorts. James waited as Catherine took Andrew upstairs to help him get to bed early.

“I do not think any words could adequately express how sorry I feel for our dear Andrew right now,” James commented upon Catherine’s return.

“His sisters were so young,” Catherine sat next to James and wept into a handkerchief. “I just cannot believe it.”

“Will you be alright? You are also grieving as well as having to look after him. Is there anything that I can do?”

“I will be fine. Yes, I am grieved, but I did not get much time to know his family very well. And besides, he is going to need me just as I needed him when my mother passed. But there is one thing you can do.”

“Anything. Name it.”

“Do what you can to track down Michael Jacobs and bring him to justice.”

“I fully intend to see to it that Mr. Jacobs or any man who sails under a pirate flag or wears a pirate brand gets what he deserves: a short drop and a sudden stop. I will chase him to Davy Jones’ locker if I must.”

“Thank you,” she put her hand on his and squeezed it.

“I will likely be detained in my office at the fort late into the evening the next few days, but if you need anything, do not hesitate to send word. I will return as soon as I can and check on you both and provide you with any updates.”

James spent every waking moment of his free time investigating Michael Jacobs. In his folio, he had made an extensive list of the names of men who were suspected or confirmed pirates. He had included unique descriptors about them, aliases, areas they were known to frequent, and more. To James’ delight, he had an entry for a man that went by the name “Mickey Jacobs”. Mickey was from Liverpool, and about three years prior an arrest warrant was issued in Boston for acts of piracy. Unfortunately he had managed to escape north with a group of fur traders and then likely sailed from French-controlled Nova Scotia. Many of the men he was known to associate with had been found guilty of piracy and were branded.

Having this information, James then spent time asking marines and officers at Fort Charles as well as crew members on merchant ships coming into dock if they had heard of Jacobs. Late afternoon on the third day, he finally struck some luck.

“Yeah, I ken Mickey,” a Scottish merchant ship captain stated. “Never told me where he come from, but he has a heavy Liverpudlian accent. Met him in Inverness a couple years ago. Said he had good contacts with merchants and fur traders in New England. Utter shite! He’s a no good double crosser. Nearly got me killed. He arranged a rendezvous between me and a ship called _Marie Elena’s Revenge_. Told me the ship wanted to trade furs for some gun powder. Turned out to be bloody pirates. Lost me first mate and nearly got me head blown off.”

“Does he have any scars or markings on his body?”

“Aye, captain, he got a good slash down the side of his face thanks to me!”

“Any idea where I might find him?”

“I would start looking in Newport, Rhode Island. The folk up there love to boast that they hanged twenty-six of Ned Low’s men back in 1723 and are convinced that they eradicated piracy in their town. But we sailors all know that all they succeeded in doing was forcing them to go deeper underground. Mickey mentioned Newport to me a couple times during our negotiations.”

“Thank you very much. This information is quite valuable, and hopefully it will lead to an appointment with the noose for Mr. Jacobs.” 

“Aye, he can rot in hell!”

Armed with newfound intelligence, James returned to his office to look through his contacts to see if he knew any naval officers currently serving in New England. Finding that he had several including an admiral that knew his father well, he began writing letters to be sent to them the next morning with a ship that was setting sail to New York. Feeling satisfaction in the progress he made, he decided to visit the Gillettes the next day to update them and to see how Andrew was faring. 

“Captain Norrington is here. Shall I let him in?”

“Of course, Nellie, please,” Catherine put down her embroidery.

“Catherine,” James bowed upon entering the room.

“Please, sit down.”

“I hope you are well.”

“I suppose that I am as well as can be expected.”

“How is Andrew doing?”

“It’s been over three days. He does not speak. He hardly sleeps. I have to help him eat and drink amongst other things. The doctor has been here and cannot do anything for him. He’s so pale. It is as if he is dying of a broken heart.Melancholia is taking hold of him, and I cannot do anything to save him,” she could no longer contain her emotions and began to cry.

“Catie,” James knelt at her side and held her hand. “Please do not cry so. I will go and see him on my own if you do not mind.”

“Of course you can. Perhaps you can reach him somehow.”

“I make no promises, but I will do my best,” he smiled sadly. “I will return and let you know if I managed to make any progress.”

“Thank you.”

James climbed the stairs to the upper floor of the house and paused momentarily before entering the Gillettes’ bedroom. He could not help but let his mouth fall open slightly upon taking in the sight of his beloved friend in his current state. Andrew sat up in bed in nought but his nightshirt with four days worth of ginger stubble covering his jawline. His unkempt hair lay over his pale forehead which was covered in a faint sheen of sweat. Andrew did not even acknowledge his visitor as he continued to stare off into the distance at nothing in particular. James shut the door behind him, pulled up a chair next to the bed, and sat down.

“Andrew,” James said quietly and received no reaction. “For God’s sake, talk to me,” he said more firmly. “I know that I cannot possibly fathom the grief you are experiencing, but you must snap out of this. A man either lives life as it happens to him, meets it head-on and licks it, or he turns his back on it and starts to wither away. You’re just withering away, and it’s breaking Catherine’s heart. I don't pretend to tell you how to find happiness when every day is a struggle to survive, but I do insist that you do survive, because the days and the years ahead are worth living for!” With still no response from Andrew, James sighed in frustration and got up to leave.

“It’s all my fault,” Andrew rasped quietly just as James reached the door.

“What?” he turned around.

“If I hadn’t meddled and fought with Jacobs, none of this would ever had happened. He took his revenge out on my family, and it’s all my fault,” fresh tears threatened to spill from his eyes. “Their blood is on my hands.”

“That’s nonsense, and you know it. Jacobs is a pirate!”

“He is?”

“Yes, I have looked into the matter, and I will stop at nothing to track him down and see him hang. But I can’t do it without you at my side.”

Andrew finally looked James in the eyes and sighed, “I don’t know if I can do it.”

“You can, and you will. What is done is done. Jacobs may have gone after your family whether you had interfered or not. Andrew, you can’t live in the past. Live now. Make now always the most precious time. Now will never come again. You know deep within your heart that it’s what your family would have wanted.”

“I know you’re right, but I feel so full of doubt.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s only human,” James smiled gently. “I will take my leave now and see how Catie is faring. She’s been showing such courage.”

“To bear other people’s afflictions, everyone has courage enough, and to spare.”

“Is that a poem?”

“No,” Andrew shook his head, “ _Poor Richard’s Almanack_.”

“Well, Poor Richard is correct. We can all help you bear your grief. Don’t allow it to consume and destroy you. I will return tomorrow.”

James returned downstairs to Catherine who was currently sipping some tea to help herself feel better. As James finished explaining to her about the information he had discovered regarding Jacobs and Andrew’s feelings of guilt, they suddenly heard something thumping down the stairs and a slight groan. They both ran and found Andrew sitting at the bottom of the stairs in his nightshirt and stockings.

“Drew, are you hurt?” Catherine asked as James helped him to stand up.

“No worries, I slid down on my bottom the entire distance that I fell,” he winced slightly as they helped him walk to the parlor and sit down gently. “I was a ninny and should have worn my slippers,” he lifted the corner of his mouth in slight smile.

“You have no idea how happy I am to see you out of bed,” she gently stroked the hair out of his face.

“I’m sorry, Catie. I had succumbed so quickly and lost hope there for a bit. It’s a frightening thing what guilt and grief can do to a man. I hope that I didn’t fluster you too much.”

“There’s nothing to forgive.”

“Captain, I’m ready to get that bastard,” Andrew snarled.

“Excellent, I will see you tomorrow morning in my office, lieutenant. If your bottom can manage it,” James smirked mischievously causing Andrew to smile fully.

Thanks to James’ intervention, Andrew started to grieve in a more healthy manner. He still at times felt a niggling sense of guilt, but with encouragement from others, he did his best to use his negative feelings in a productive way. Of course, the war with Spain raged on, and that kept all members of the Royal Navy busy. Andrew’s personal war for justice had to take a lower priority, yet the war itself and its accompanying increased naval activity provided many opportunities to seek out new information on the criminal at large. Finally after a few months, the news came to James from a contact in North Carolina that Michael Jacobs was rumored to be back on the _Marie Elena’s Revenge_ and that it was last seen off the coast of Georgia heading south. The admiral of the fleet was aware of the manhunt, Jacobs’ crimes, and Andrew’s personal reasons for wanting the arrest to happen and proceed with a trial. Therefore, all ships in the admiral's fleet were given the order to be on the lookout for the pirate ship and to engage at once if she were discovered.

It was only fitting that the _Dauntless_ and _Interceptor_ stumbled upon the pirate brig sailing in the waters off the island of Tortuga, a known pirate haven. The Royal Navy’s forces were fresh out of port, and the men were eager for a fight and to help their comrade get his vengeance. Captain Bracknell of the _Dauntless_ was well seasoned when it came to battling pirates, and even though the crew of the _Marie Elena’s Revenge_ was outgunned and outnumbered, he knew that they would not give in to defeat so easily.

Using the _Interceptor_ ’s speed to their advantage, James, risking a collision, commanded his crew to steer the ship so that it would cut off the enemy forcing them to make a hard turn to starboard. The _Dauntless_ then went in from the other side and pinched the enemy ship trapping her between the two naval vessels before the pirates could even fire their guns. The naval captains ordered boarding hooks to be deployed and the _Marie Elena’s Revenge_ to be boarded. There chaos ensued as the enemy captain ordered his men to fight.

James and Andrew had engaged in battle with enemy sailors including pirates many times before this particular occasion. However, this time there was a glint in Andrew’s eye that James had not seen before, and for a brief moment it chilled him to the core. Andrew looked positively murderous. As the enemy was so outnumbered and being a ship’s officer, Andrew really had no need to participate in this fight, but before James could stop him, Andrew had spotted Jacobs and swung across to face him. James meant to stay aboard the _Interceptor_ , but seeing Andrew take a slash to the arm and fall to the deck, he did not hesitate one moment before also swinging across. By the time he made it on board, Andrew was already back on his feet and swinging his sword looking as he were possessed by the devil himself.

Confident that Andrew was capable of handling the situation and having spotted the pirate captain, James headed to the quarterdeck quickly beating back the men protecting him. Being a superior swordsman, James disarmed him and urged him to command his crew to surrender.

“Why, so you can hang us condemned as cowards? I would rather die honorably in battle by the sword!” the man scowled with a thick Portuguese accent.

“Command your men to surrender, and I will give you an honorable death,” James put his sword to the pirate captain’s neck.

Seeing his crew getting picked off one by one and starting to get rounded up to be transferred to the ships’ brigs, he relented, “Aye,” and gave the command.

Andrew had disarmed Jacobs and cornered him by this point with his pistol pointed at his head. Hearing that the pirate crew were surrendering, he hesitated. With his pistol hand starting to shake, he hesitated to turn his family’s murderer over to be put in the brig.

“What’s the matter, lad?” Jacobs sneered having recognized Andrew by this point. “Not man enough to kill me? I was man enough to burn those little girls to a crisp in their beds,” he started laughing.

“No!” Andrew screamed with tears in his eyes before finally taking his pistol and bashing Jacobs on the head with it knocking him to the deck stunned.

“Well done, lad,” Captain Bracknell came up behind Andrew and clapped him on the shoulder. “You’re more a man and more courageous than he ever was or will be. Mr. Gibbs, fetch some irons,” Captain Bracknell ordered his bosun’s mate. “Lieutenant Gillette, would you like to do the honors?”

“I would, sir.” Andrew bent down on one knee and secured the irons to Jacobs’ wrists before standing and spitting at him. “They were only innocent children, you bastard! Gibbs, take him away. I wouldn’t want him to miss his appointment at the gallows.” As Jacobs’ was dragged away, Andrew turned upon hearing some commotion as the Portuguese pirate captain was being chained and prepared for transfer to the brig on the _Dauntless_.

“You said that you would give me an honorable death!” he shouted at James who was smirking.

“Well, I lied,” James shrugged. “Take him.”

“You dishonorable English pig!”

“As a pirate with no honor, his words mean nothing,” Captain Bracknell and Andrew joined James.

“I think that’s the least of his concerns right now. Lieutenant, are you alright? You’re injured,” James brought Andrew’s attention to the gaping slash wound on his left arm. His sleeve was soaked through with blood which was also starting to drip from his fingertips.

“Oh, I am. I honestly didn’t even notice. I suppose it stings a bit,” Andrew started to feel the pain as his adrenaline rush wore off.

“Shall I oversee internment of the prisoners and start preparing to tow this vessel back to Port Royal while you assist your lieutenant over to the _Dauntless_ to see my ship’s surgeon?”

“Aye, thank you, Captain Bracknell.”

“And may I say, well done today, Norrington. I’m impressed with your tactics. I knew that you would make an excellent captain.”

“Thank you, sir,” James nodded.

“We’ll keep Jacobs in the brig on the _Dauntless_. I wouldn’t want to lead anyone into the temptation of murder if you get my meaning,” he winked at Andrew.

Some days later, having seen the ships returning using Andrew’s spyglass, Catherine made haste to the docks to see how he had fared and to greet him upon his return. Port Royal was abuzz with curiosity and rumors upon seeing the _Marie Elena’s Revenge_ being towed into port and the prisoners being escorted to the prison at Fort Charles. Finally, Catherine spied Andrew and James making their way off the docks onto to shore.

“Drew, what happened?” Catherine asked upon seeing his arm hanging outside his coat bandaged and in a sling.

“It was only a deep slash, love. It will heal,” Andrew reassured her. “I’m so happy to see you,” he pulled her close with his uninjured arm and kissed her a bit roughly as James looked on. “We got him.”

“Excellent news. Now there will be justice.”

“It was Andrew that was responsible for apprehending Jacobs,” James explained. “Captain Bracknell will be putting that in his formal report to the admiralty as well as a recommendation for commendation for both of us.”

The trial for Jacobs did not last very long. Enough information had already been gathered by the authorities in New England and Great Britain to convict him of all his previous crimes. When presented with the new charges of murder, stubborn and cold hearted to the end, he readily admitted in court to killing the Gillettes in cold blood and showed no remorse. Governor Swann signed the death warrant without hesitation, and the execution was to take place the next day at noon. The Gillettes insisted on being in attendance in order to feel a sense of finality. 

“Michael Jacobs,” the official started to read as the convict was prepared on the gallows, “be it known that you have for your willful commission of crimes against the crown. Said crimes being numerous in quantity and sinister in nature, the most egregious of these to be cited herewith: piracy, smuggling, sailing under false colors, looting, poaching, brigandage, pilfering, depravity, depredation, general lawlessness, brawling, assault on an officer of His Majesty’s Royal Navy, arson, the murders of Mr. Maurice and Mrs. Niamh Gillette, and the murder of their young daughters Misses Rebecca and Sarah Gillette. And for these crimes you have been sentenced to be, on this day, hung by the neck until dead. May God have mercy on your soul.”

Jacobs refused the chaplain and instead of saying any last words requested if he could have just one last drink of ale which was granted. The executioner then pulled the lever causing Jacobs to drop through the platform. Some women in the crowd shrieked as his body twitched violently at the end of the rope. Catherine clenched her jaw refusing to look away as Andrew wrapped his arm around her tightly. Finally, there was no further movement and his body went still. James could hear Andrew, who had been holding his breath, sigh deeply in relief.

“The only thing that man loved was himself and his drink. Shame,” Governor Swann could be overheard muttering to one of his officials.

Knowing his friends had to be feeling some distress from witnessing the execution, James suggested that he take them up to the battlements of Fort Charles to a spot where he knew there was a good fresh sea breeze blowing that was sure to help them feel better. He himself favored the spot when he needed a moment alone. With the three of them being away from the crowd and having some privacy, Andrew released his pain.

“It’s finally over,” he breathed deeply as he shed some tears.

“What are you feeling?” James asked as Catherine rubbed his back.

“I feel a sense of freedom. Michael Jacobs and his crimes no longer have any control over me or my family. I’m ready to move forwards and live my life sharing it with the ones I love. Besides, my family is not really dead as long as we always remember them.”

“We will honor their memories every day by choosing to love each other,” Catherine nodded.

“And I vow to fight against piracy so that nobody else should ever have to go through what I have,” Andrew clenched his fist.It was then that Catherine understood within her heart that Andrew would likely never be the same from this time forward. It was as if a little bit more of his innocence and joyful youthfulness were chipped away and lost forever.

“Captain Bracknell commented that we could easily become the scourge of piracy in these parts. What say you? You and I together ridding the eastern Caribbean of the evil that plagues us all?”

“Aye, dear friend!”

“What say you, Mrs. Gillette?”

“Yes, but please be careful! And Andrew, you still haven’t taught me how to protect myself,” she complained and gently tugged on his earlobe.

“As soon as my arm is fully healed, we will proceed,” Andrew smiled. “Thank you, both, for being strong and having courage to help bear my afflictions for me when I was unable. I am so blessed.”

“And we are blessed to have you, too,” James smiled back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh James and Catherine, will you two ever find resolution to your feelings?... And all three of our protagonists showed they are capable of darkness in this chapter. Watch out, Miss Swann!


	13. Misfortunate Souls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: discussions about infertility and conception, brief smut, description of miscarriage
> 
> The warnings are spoilers, but these are very difficult and heavy topics so I felt it was only fair to let people know what they are getting into.

True to his promise, Andrew finally got around to showing Catherine how to wield a simple, lightweight cutlass, which he had taken as booty from a ship they had raided, and the moves necessary to defend herself. He also showed her how to load his personal pistol, which he had always left at home anyway, with powder and shot. While a young woman like Miss Swann would have reveled in such lessons and activities, Catherine merely viewed them as a necessity and actually would have preferred to spend her time on her needlework or reading.

Bram, having heard of Mrs. Gillette’s newfound skills, approached Andrew at the docks one day and asked if he could also instruct Nellie in the arts of self-defense. To Nellie’s delight, Andrew agreed and soon had his wife and housemaid sparring with one another in the garden from time to time in order to keep up their skills.

“At this rate, you’ll captain the first ship in the Royal Navy manned completely by women,” James jested as he admired his friend’s handiwork one afternoon when he dropped by for tea.

“Better yet, imagine if your commanding officer was a woman. I think our ideas would be considered far too progressive for the rest of society,” Andrew smirked. “They might even hang us! But aye, Captain Catherine Gillette commands things here on the ship Philadelphia House. I must admit that I prefer it that way, too. Nice to leave work at the docks and relax when I get home.”

“They’re doing quite well. I’ve encountered officers with worse footwork then they have.”

“Catie insists she only had me teach her this out of necessity, but she really has put in an effort to do well. I feel better knowing that if the worst were to happen, if the Spanish were to attack while we were at sea, then at least she would have a fighting chance. She much prefers typical womanly ventures, but knowing she has some fight in her makes me feel a bit, well, eager,” he wiggled his eyebrows. James could not help but to groan and shake his head at his friend’s innuendo. Seeing how uncomfortable he made his friend, he leaned over and whispered to James, “Sometimes I can’t help but to imagine her wonderful arse in a pair of tight breeches.“

“Andrew!” James chided him causing him to laugh.

“I dropped my guard with her once, and she managed to knick me on the knuckles,” he smiled with pride.

“Well, best remember not to cross her. She may decide to knick you somewhere else if I don't do it first!”

To the relief of everyone in Port Royal, the war with Spain in the Caribbean was largely over by mid-1742 owing to the outbreak of war in Europe regarding the right of Maria Theresa to succeed her father to the Austrian throne. With the empires eager to gain new territories on the European continent, the Royal Navy based in the West Indies could return focus to protecting merchant ships and trade routes and to eradicating piracy.

Before the Gillettes had been able to fathom it, four years had quickly passed since their move to Port Royal. They had settled well into Philadelphia House, and during that time Catherine undertook cultivating a proper garden with Nellie’s help. She also asked Andrew if they could have coop built and to get some chickens to which he readily agreed. During Andrew’s time at sea, Catherine also revived some of her previous artistic skills that her father had taught her. Her painted porcelain teacups proved to be quite popular with some of the women in the parish of St. Peter’s Church which was attended by many of the navy officers and their families.

Both well over twenty-five years her senior, Mrs. Moody and Mrs. Spurgeon particularly took Catherine under their wings having met her and Andrew after Sunday services. Mrs. Moody’s husband was the captain of the _HMS Unity_ , and Mrs. Spurgeon’s husband was a lieutenant colonel helping oversee the Royal Marines based at Fort Charles. Once a week each of the three women took turns hosting one another for tea. Being an orphan, Catherine grew to appreciate their companionship and motherly advice from their years of experience.

During the times that Andrew was home in Port Royal, together as a couple the Gillettes also continued to expand their social circle in other ways. Andrew often would bring home young midshipmen for which he felt an affinity and wished to provide them with mentorship. Andrew especially took a liking to young Theodore Groves, a midshipman on the cusp of passing his lieutenant’s exam. Andrew, James, and young Theodore soon became inseparable. Although certainly no one could ever replace Andrew’s deceased sisters, Catherine was of the opinion that Theodore was like the little brother Andrew never had.

Despite keeping busy with hobbies, housework, and a social calendar, Catherine could not help but to find herself longing deeply to fall pregnant. Several months after the hanging of Michael Jacobs, Andrew bashfully broached the subject with Catherine of trying in earnest to conceive. Full of joy and hope, Catherine readily agreed with Andrew’s proposition. Yet, after just now over five years of marriage, there had been no success. A few times each year there would be a glimmer of hope that the blessed event had finally taken place when Catherine’s courses did not start on time only for that hope to be obliterated with the disappointment of finding herself soiled with blood a week or so later.

While she never openly told him about her late courses and the sorrow that always followed soon afterwards with the flow of her blood, Andrew always knew but held his tongue in fear that bringing attention to the subject would only add to her heartache. In fact, he never once more brought up the subject of having children after the initial time they discussed it as he did not want to cause her to feel pressured. And yet, nothing made him feel more powerless than watching the glimmer of hope in Catherine’s eyes gradually fade away with each passing year.

Feeling that she could trust them, Catherine started to ask Mrs. Moody and Mrs. Spurgeon about their experiences with conceiving their broods of children. At first, she tried to be somewhat evasive about it, but eventually she could not help but to divulge to them that she was experiencing problems with infertility.

“Catherine, you must not stress yourself over it because it makes it more difficult to conceive,” Mrs. Moody tutted before sipping her tea.

“But what if it is my fault?”

“Men would never admit to it, but sometimes the fault lies with them. For some men, their seed just isn’t very potent,” answered Mrs. Spurgeon. “How is your Andrew’s appetite?”

“His appetite is excellent. He always requests seconds. Sometimes thirds!”

“Does he imbibe much or often?”

“No, he’s always very careful to watch how much he drinks.”

“Any injuries to his manhood?”

“No,” Catherine started to blush with Mrs. Spurgeon’s probing. “He hasn’t mentioned any.”

“Does he finish inside you?”

“Yes, every time. I even stay on my back for a good while afterwards.”

“Does he-“

“I really do think it’s my fault!” Catherine burst out.

“But why, dear?” Mrs. Moody put down her tea and picked up her embroidery.

“I think that possibly God is punishing me.”

“Why would you think that? What have you done?”

“Well, I haven’t actually done anything as of yet. It’s just matters of the heart, feelings for a man. But as the Lord said in the gospels, ‘Whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.’”

“Have you lusted after this man?”

Catherine paused feeling bewildered at what she had gotten herself into with this conversion that started out so innocently. She finally took a deep breath and answered honestly, “No, I have only felt love and perhaps some yearning. It is obviously a love that can never be for many reasons. The first being that I could never hurt Andrew. I do love him so. My greatest desire for this man is to be well and to hopefully find a wife that will love him as much as Andrew and I love each other.”

“Then you have done nothing wrong, dear Catie!” Mrs. Spurgeon took her hand and squeezed it. “Love is love. The Lord also said, ‘greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.’ Such a difficult sacrifice you are making.”

“Young lady, you are being far too hard on yourself!” Mrs. Moody agreed.

“What can I do?”

“First of all, pray. We will also beseech God to bless you with a child. Second, forgive yourself. Third, go see the midwife on Alexander Street. She’s even more experienced in matters of conception, pregnancy, and childbirth than we are. Lastly, do stop fretting. Ultimately if you are barren, you could always adopt children. It is an unfortunate fact that there are many orphans in desperate need of parents to care for them and love them as their own.”

“I suppose you are right. I had not thought of that,” Catherine admitted. "I'm an orphan, but I already had Andrew to look after me when my mother died."

The older women promised Catherine that they would not utter a word of their conversation to anyone else, and she knew that they could be trusted as they were not wont to gossip about other people when they gathered together for tea. She thanked them for their encouragement and advice. Before she left to go home, Mrs. Moody had one last bit of information to share.

“I did not want to say anything while Miriam Spurgeon was still here as she is ever more pious than I am, but if all else fails, you could try this. There is an African freedwoman that sells tonics from a hut near the edge of town. It is said that the potions are made in Moore Town by a woman the people there call Queen Nanny. Our government despises her because she forced them to create a treaty giving her people land on the island. I have no idea if it is true, but some of the peasant folk say that she practices witchcraft. Others say that she simply uses natural ingredients to create medicines. I will leave it to your conscience to decide which of these is the case, but I just wanted to say that you could try a fertility tonic from her if you wanted.”

“Thank you for this information, Mrs. Moody. I will consider it if I find that I have no further options. You and Mrs. Spurgeon were a great help to me today. These things can be embarrassing to discuss,” Catherine admitted.

“Some of the stuffier women in society would argue it’s improper to discuss such things. But what use is it to hide away and suffer in silence? Friends should share one another’s burdens. And with no mother, it’s especially important that you have somewhere safe to share your feelings and seek advice. We are happy to help in any way we can. Now move along! You and your husband have work to do!”

As soon as she was able, Catherine consulted the midwife that her friends had recommended to her. After asking her many questions, the midwife reassured Catherine that both she and Andrew seemed to be doing everything properly. Ultimately only time would be able to tell if Catherine was truly barren or if Andrew’s seed was simply not potent enough to successfully conceive. Leaving the midwife feeling frustrated that she seemed to have run into another wall and feeling impatient, Catherine immediately walked to the hut where Mrs. Moody said tonics were being sold.

Ensuring that she did not see anyone in the street that would recognize her, Catherine headed inside the hut which smelled strongly of incense. Ducking past some bunches of herbs hanging to dry, she shyly approached the African woman Mrs. Moody told her about.

“What can I do for you, miss?” the woman asked with a heavy accent as she tucked some of her hair braids behind her ear. “Want to get rid of a lover’s baby? Want to make a man fall in love with you?”

“No, actually, I want to have a baby. I was told that you might have something that could help me do that, madam.”

“Ah yes, I sell many tonics made by Obeah woman Queen Nanny to help with fertility. She knows many things handed down since the ancient times to call upon the fertility spirits to help bring about a child. Is the problem with you or your man?”

“Me,” Catherine answered. “I’m almost certain the problem lies with me.”

“Poor child, I have just the thing for you!” the woman ducked her head beneath her countertop and after jostling some glass bottles around, she arose and produced a small green phial. “I see how sad you are. I will give you a discount.”

Catherine agreed to the price the woman offered, and after receiving thorough instruction as to when and how to take the tonic, she tucked it away in her basket and made her way home quickly as it was getting quite late in the afternoon. While eager to try the tonic, per the woman’s instruction, she would have to wait for two weeks in order to get the timing right with her courses. In the meantime, she would have to hope that things would not be delayed by Andrew suddenly needing to be sent on patrol.

Finally, luck seemed to have smiled upon Catherine as Andrew was to be home at the proper time for her to use the tonic. Knowing Andrew well, she did everything needed to get him into an aroused mood that evening. Not that it took much to set him off. Before joining him upstairs, Catherine hid away in the kitchen and took the phial out of its hiding place. Carefully examining it, she thought to herself, _“Somehow this feels wrong. But Mrs. Moody suggested it, so it surely must not be that bad.”_ Taking off the lid and getting a whiff of the substance in the phial nearly gagging, she held her nose, quickly downed the tonic chasing it with a sip of tea, and then sucked on a bit of sugar. _“Never have I tasted something so vile!”_ Then she went up to their bedroom and joined Andrew who was quite naked and ready for her.

“You’re a bit sweaty and pale,” Andrew noted as he eagerly undid the laces of her stay and helped her remove it. “If you’re coming down with one of your fevers and not feeling up to this right now I understand.”

After shimmying out of her shift, Catherine turned around, and taking Andrew by surprise, pushed him causing him to lose his balance and fall onto the bed. She climbed on top of him, and while stroking his manhood with her small hand, whispered in his ear, “I’ll be damned if I cannot have you right here and now Andrew Gillette. Take me.”

“Bloody hell,” Andrew growled and rolled them both over so he was on top. “I cou-“

“Shh!” she put a finger to his lips. “No talking. I am simply aching with need to feel you. Please, Drew,” she pleaded. He nodded and quickly sheathed himself inside her.

By morning, Catherine had Andrew completely exhausted. Thankfully, he was not expected at the docks until the next day. Catherine also told Nellie on the sly the day before that she did not need to be in until midday. Hearing one of their roosters crowing, Catherine awakened and stretched before snuggling up close to Andrew who was quietly snoring. As the sunlight shone in their east-facing window, she reached over and gently brushed the stray auburn hair from his face.

_“I’m sorry for seeking out and using what might be magic. Please forgive me. And please bless us with a child. Not for my sake but for Andrew’s,”_ she prayed to herself before leaning over and gently kissing Andrew on the cheek causing him to stir from his slumber.

“Mmm, morning,” Andrew sleepily mumbled, stretched, and sat up a bit. “Please don’t tell me you want more, Catie. Even if I wanted to, I don’t think that I could,” he smirked. “You were insatiable! I think that I might have even pulled a muscle.”

“You were very good to me last night,” she smiled back and sat up next to him leaning her head on his shoulder.

“God, I love you.”

Most of the morning was spent in bed, something that Andrew and Catherine had not done together in quite some time. Finally after Andrew’s stomach started growling quite loudly, Catherine crawled out of bed and slipped into her shift. She popped down to the kitchen to get the bread, cheese, and a little meat she had set aside the night before and took it back upstairs to Andrew so they could eat a simple breakfast in bed. Just as Andrew was about to tuck into his breakfast, Catherine hopped out of bed, knelt down, and started vomiting violently into her chamber pot.

_“If you vomit the morning after you have used the tonic, it is a good sign. The fertility spirits have finished their work and are leaving your body,”_ the words of the woman in the hut echoed in Catherine’s mind as Andrew ran to her side to tend to her.

“I’m alright,” Catherine reassured Andrew as she sat back on her knees and wiped her mouth.

“Are you sure? There’s some blood in there,” he noted looking at the full chamber pot. “God, that smells vile.”

“Don’t start with your worries about the galloping consumption again! I feel fine. In fact, I feel like I could eat a horse now. Come on,” she put the lid on the chamber pot and put it out in the hallway. She opened the windows to air out the room and then hopped back on the bed motioning for Andrew to join her.

After no further episodes of vomiting to Andrew’s relief, Catherine knew that now the waiting began to see if the tonic truly did do what the woman who sold it to her had claimed. The time for her courses to start came and went with no bleeding. A month passed, and again, no blood was to be found. And outside of feeling some fatigue and a little queasy some mornings, Catherine truly felt well. She noted that her stays were starting to feel a little tight. She decided to hold her tongue about what seemed to be the miracle she had been waiting for until she had passed the third month. As far as she could tell, Andrew did not suspect anything.

Very early one morning, Andrew awakened and could hear someone in the kitchen using the bellows to get the fire going. Noting that it was still relatively dark outside for it to be Nellie in the kitchen starting her day at the house, he rolled over and noted Catherine was missing and the blankets had been pulled up on her side of the bed. He quickly sat up on the edge of the bed and listened again. This time he noted the sound of water splashing and a woman sniffling.

Putting on his slippers and dressing gown, Andrew quickly and quietly made his way to the kitchen. With the aid of the firelight, he was able to make out Catherine’s nude form bent over a tub of water where she was scrubbing something vigorously and crying. As his eyes adjusted a bit more, he realized that her bottom and between her legs was covered in blood and immediately ran to her side.

“Catie, what is happening?” Andrew grabbed her by the shoulders and had her look at him.

“It’s all my fault!” Catherine wept with her hair sticking to her wet cheeks.

“Shh,” he stroked the hair out of her face and tried to soothe her. “What is your fault, darling? Where did this blood come from? You have never bled this much during your courses. It’s alright. You can tell me.”

“It’s all my fault,” she repeated again more calmly as the tears streamed down her face. She reached down and touched between her legs showing Andrew her fingertips covered in blood. “It’s my blood. I woke up in such pain. I could not get it to stop, and now it’s too late. I am being punished.”

Andrew took her blood stained hand and dipped it in the tub of water to wash it off only to realize that the water was already pink with blood and her nightshift was soaking in the bottom. “Darling, please tell me what is wrong so that I can help you,” he pleaded.

Catherine reluctantly pulled her chamber pot out from under a towel covered with bloody handprints and opened the lid. She pointed to a very small lump of flesh in the pot and slammed the lid shut once she could tell that Andrew was starting to understand what it likely was. “I lost it, Andrew. I lost our baby,” she started to sob anew.

Quickly, Andrew pulled her into his arms onto his lap and whispered into her ear in Irish Gaelic as he rocked her back and forth, “A chuid den tsaol. It is not your fault. It will be alright.” When Catherine had finally calmed and quieted enough to listen to him properly, he explained, “It is never easy, but these things happen. Sometimes it is nature’s course. Sometimes it is the will of God. It happened to my mother, Niamh, on more than one occasion. You have done nothing wrong. Do not blame yourself.”

“I do not know if I will ever recover from this,” Catherine sat up and sniffled. “How did your mother do it? God rest her soul.”

“Honestly, I do not think you can recover from it. My mum prided herself on being strong and hiding her feelings, but I still remember as a little boy hearing her cry in the dark of night when she thought we were all asleep. It is fine to grieve what might have been. As long as you do not let it consume you, of course.”

“I do not think that I will ever bear you a child. We have been trying for so long, and now this.”

“Catherine Gillette, please understand me. I am blessed and happy whether you bear me a child or not. If it happens, it happens. If it does not, it will never change how I feel about you and the joy that you give me every single day.”

“Would you consider adoption?”

“If it is what you want, of course!”

“Very well. Let’s give things a bit more time and see what happens. Thank you, Andrew. I love you.”

“I love you, too. Now we should get you cleaned up and make sure you’re not hemorrhaging to death.”

“I’m afraid that our bedding has blood on it as well.”

“Do not fret. I will sort it out for you, and then we will get you back to bed to get some rest. I will start cleaning up down here. When Nellie arrives, I will have her pop over first thing to James’ house to let him know that I am unable to be at the docks today for duty. Then I will have her fetch a midwife to come check on you to make sure you are safe. I will ensure that your privacy is maintained. We will not speak of this to anyone unless you consent.” Andrew scooted from underneath her, stood up, and then helped her to her feet. “We will get through this together just as we have everything else.”

Other than a bout of fever three weeks after her miscarriage, Catherine recovered well from a physical standpoint. Of course, emotionally things would take a bit longer. She did, however, find her courage and inform Mrs. Moody and Mrs. Spurgeon as to what had happened. She made no mention to them or anyone else about the tonic. They both reassured her and shared their own experiences with the grief of pregnancy loss. That same day, Catherine felt that there was one last thing that she needed to do in order to move on and try to heal.

“Back for more tonic?”

“I want my money back,” Catherine stated firmly. “I’ll report your illegal activities to the authorities.”

“I am sorry, but you knew at the time of sale that all transactions are final. Did you try it?” the woman in the hut asked unmoved by Catherine’s obvious anger.

“Yes.”

“I told you it would work.”

“It did not!” A stray tear rolled down Catherine’s cheek as she lowered her voice explaining, “I lost my baby.”

“Ah, but it did work. You conceived which is all that it was supposed to do. Come here,” the woman motioned for her to come closer.

“What are you going to do to me?”

“I will not hurt you. Come.” Catherine cautiously leaned over the countertop. The woman put her thumb on Catherine’s forehead, closed her eyes, and briefly chanted something in a language Catherine did not understand. “Poor unfortunate soul,” she shook her head and opened her eyes removing her thumb from Catherine’s forehead. “There are some things that even the fertility spirits cannot overcome. Things like fate, a broken soul, and the will of God Himself. Your soul carries such heavy burdens, child!”

“I know, madam. Unfortunately, I am starting to think that it is my fate to carry these burdens.”

“Never give up on hope. As long as we have life, we have hope. I cannot always see the future, but you have a touch of destiny about you, Catherine Gillette. I do have a feeling that one day you will find the balm necessary to heal your soul and make you whole again. Methinks you in turn will help fulfill the promise of redemption in regard to the soul of another. Have courage.”

“I am sorry for being so ungracious towards you. It is not your fault that I miscarried. Deep down I have always known that the fault lies with me despite what everyone else says. But I will be strong. I’m afraid that I never asked your name.”

“My name is Tia. Tia Dalma.”

“Thank you for your encouragement, Madam Dalma. I best be getting home.” As Catherine walked home, she paused and thought, _“I never introduced myself. How did she know my name? And redeem another’s soul? Who? How? I cannot even redeem my own!”_

A couple days later, wanting to make amends for how she had treated Tia, Catherine cut some flowers from her garden and made her way to the hut on the edge of town. When she arrived, she was shocked to see no sign that the hut had ever existed. She asked some of the people milling about in the street if they knew what had happened to the hut or if they knew Tia Dalma, but none of them had any idea what she was talking about. Feeling a chill down her spine, Catherine handed the flowers to an elderly woman and felt like running the rest of the way home.

Per Catherine’s request, Andrew had not told James of her miscarriage. In regard to the day that he had missed his duty at the docks, Andrew merely stated that Catherine had been unwell without providing further details. Of course the inevitable occurred, and Andrew once again had to join James on patrol at sea. Andrew was encouraged that Catherine had been doing rather well despite the trauma of it all, but he certainly felt anxiety that she would fall into despair while he was away. To his relief, upon his return two weeks later, she was beaming ear to ear when welcoming him home at the docks.

“Governor Swann stopped by for a visit the other day,” Catherine explained on their way back to Philadelphia House. “Miss Elizabeth is due to return imminently, and he feels that it is time for her to make her proper debut to society.”

“Does this mean we have been invited to a ball?” Andrew asked with excitement.

“Yes, ninny!” she laughed. “It’s to take place on the first of the month.”

“Bless him for having the courage to send her away to England last year in order to try to finally nip her horrid behavior in the bud.”

“Yes, poor Weatherby, it was a very difficult decision for him to make. Nearly broke his heart. I know it’s not right to gossip, but the rumor at the time was that he found her kissing that blacksmith’s apprentice Turner. He just could not risk her honor being tainted. The rumor alone could have been enough to do that. He’s desperate to find her a suitable husband so that she can be well looked after once he’s passed on someday.”

“It must be awful being a woman and to have to face the possibility of making one small mistake and being considered tainted goods forever. I do not think that I could live under such pressure.”

“Well, to be fair, I am not sure that I could be a man either. Always putting on a brave face and being strong.”

“But you are strong, Catie,” he kissed the tip of her nose. “I am ever so proud of you. You have shown such courage despite what you went through recently. I cannot wait to have you at my side and to show you off to everyone at the governor’s mansion.”

As always, Catherine greatly appreciated Andrew’s compliments especially as she still had many mixed feelings swirling about in her heart. Part of her looked forward to Miss Swann’s debut. Seeing Andrew so mirthful as he danced about always brought her such joy. And part of her dreaded the event knowing that James would be there. She suspected that he was eager to put himself forward as a potential suitor of Miss Swann. She never could understand his affection for the girl.

The night of Miss Swann’s debut soon arrived, and Andrew was full of anticipation. Catherine could not help but to smile as he nearly skipped about the house as they prepared themselves. James kindly offered to pick them up in his carriage, and the Gillettes were delighted to see that young Theodore Groves was also with him. After a few lively dances, Catherine felt tired and overheated. Andrew suggested that she get some fresh air on the balcony while he continue dancing with Mrs. Moody who had just arrived and was alone as her husband was on patrol.

_“Dear Andrew has the energy of a wild hare! I hope that I am not getting another of those damned fevers!”_ Catherine waved her fan vigorously on the balcony.

“I should have known that if I were to bump into anyone out here that it would be you, Mrs. Gillette,” James joined Catherine at the rail of the balcony. “Still not an avid fan of large social gatherings?”

“No, captain, I still have not acclimated myself to find these sorts of things enjoyable,” Catherine continued fanning herself. “And your excuse for hiding out here?”

“Well, some things never change. It’s been said that we naval officers can be quite stubborn. And the Norrington men are known to be especially stubborn even to the point of folly. I just have never found these sort of events to be my cup of tea.”

“If your hope is to marry well, you may have to force yourself to attend many of these affairs full of nonsense and pageantry.” Catherine turned around and leaned against the railing. Spying Andrew through one of the windows dancing his heart out, she could not help but to smile, “Andrew doesn’t give a rot about the social protocol at these balls.”

“Aye, he loves a good old jig. Gets it from his Irish blood I reckon.”

“Likely,” she nodded. “He’s told me tales of visiting with his kin in Ireland and the amount of dancing that ensues at family gatherings.” Things fell silent between Catherine and James. The longer the silence continued, the more she could sense his nervous energy growing. “What do you want to ask me?”

“I hope not to presume anything,” James started and sighed deeply. “Catherine, are you and Andrew alright?”

“Beg pardon?”

“Is your marriage alright?”

Catherine turned around abruptly facing the view off the balcony again biting her bottom lip trying to hold back tears. “Captain,” she tried to speak but stopped in fear of losing control.

“I’m so sorry. I should not have asked. It is none of my business. I will take my leave,” James bowed and turned to walk away.

“Wait!” Catherine called after him. “James, please.”

James could not help but to gasp at hearing his Christian name come from her lips for the first time in what had been years. He quickly turned around and rejoined her. “Catie, what is it?”

Taking a few deep breaths and calming herself, she admitted, “Our marriage is fine. Andrew is fine. I, however, am not fine. And I carry so much guilt because of it. If only I could somehow atone and alleviate myself of the weight of it all. I have committed acts of penance in private, but to no relief.”

“I am not a clergyman, but I have no doubts that whatever it is for which you have earnestly sought God’s forgiveness, He is merciful enough to have granted your request. In my experience, I find that we often find it harder to forgive ourselves for the things that prick our hearts with guilt even if the Almighty has already done the cleansing on our behalf.”

“Perhaps,” Catherine dabbed a tear with her handkerchief. “Sometimes I feel as if I do not deserve Andrew.”

“Really? He’s said the same thing about you to me many times.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“Catherine, I’m sorry to have distressed you. I only asked because I was worried that something was amiss. It surprised me greatly when Andrew missed duty so abruptly not long ago. It’s not like him to do that. He has also been a bit quieter than usual as of late. And so I assumed that perhaps you were quarreling or something else was wrong between you.”

“No need to apologize. You were just concerned about your friends which is an admirable thing.”

“Is there anything that I can do?”

“Pray for my soul,” Catherine folded her fan and sighed. “You should probably return to the ball soon. You wouldn’t want to miss your opportunity to dance with Miss Swann at her debut.”

“No, I wouldn’t, Mrs. Gillette,” James replied quietly after hesitating. “If you are well enough, you should also return. You wouldn’t want Andrew to worry about you.”

“No, I wouldn’t, Captain Norrington.”

That night, Catherine felt that perhaps for the first time she and James had come to some sort of unsaid understanding with one another.

In the days following Miss Swann’s debut, Andrew remained quite jolly, and Catherine could not help but to feel the same seeing him in such a playful mood. The entire week, he worked hard at the docks and then played hard at home. Even Nellie got twirled about the kitchen a couple times upon his return home in the evenings. But by the end of the week, Catherine could tell that the man had exhausted himself having forgotten that he was not as young as he used to be.

“Did the lieutenant say whether or not he would be late getting home this afternoon?”

“No, Nellie, in fact, he said that he was going to be home a bit early today.Besides, he said that he was not feeling all that well this morning. That is quite unusual for him. I think he’s overdone it. I hope nothing has happened down at the port,” Catherine said as she started to pace about the sitting room.

"Perhaps one of us should go down to the docks and fetch him.You know how he likes to gab to his friends and loses track of time," Nellie suggested as she darned a stocking.

"Yes, he certainly does at times. I will go down and see what is keeping him. Will be good to get some fresh air,” Catherine resolved as she left the room to go put on her hat.As she was carefully tying the ribbons to secure her hat, she heard some knocking at the front door and then Nellie answering it.

"Madam, there is a sailor here to see you," she explained.

Catherine went to the foyer where she was met by a newly promoted Lieutenant Theodore Groves.“Congratulations, lieutenant! If you are looking for Andrew, I am afraid that he has not come home yet, but you may wait for him here if you wish to do so," she smiled.

“Thank you, Mrs. Gillette. I'm here about Andrew."

"What's wrong?Is he going to be later than he thought?"

"Actually, madam, I am here to tell you that there has been an accident.”

"An accident?What happened, and heavens, was anyone injured?"

"A couple barrels of munitions and gun powder were somehow ignited and exploded while a merchant ship was being inspected. There were a few officers injured, and I'm sorry, but Andrew was among them. As Andrew’s superior officer, usually Captain Norrington would come to give such news, but he is quite busy dealing with the aftermath. He felt that I was the next best person to come to you as we all get on so well."

"How severely was Andrew hurt?" she managed to ask calmly.

"He was the most injured, but the surgeon believes he will make a full recovery.He will need to stay in the infirmary for a few days, for he should not be moved about much just yet, but after that he can spend the rest of his time recovering here in the comfort of his own home."

"May I go and see him?" she asked with her forehead now creased with worry.

"Of course you can. I was just going to tell you that it would be nice of you to come with me back to the fort so you can see that he is going to be alright, and besides, I'm sure he would like to know you are there as well."

"Thank you ever so much, Lieutenant Groves," she said before quickly informing Nellie of the situation.

"Mrs. Gillette?"

"Yes, Lieutenant?"

"You may call me Theodore or Theo if you like.You do not have to be so proper with me since I have grown to become a good friend of Andrew's," he smiled shyly as they walked arm-in-arm to the carriage.

"Very well, young Theodore, but if you insist on me calling you by your Christian name, then you must call me Catherine," she managed to laugh at his youthful awkwardness despite her worry over Andrew.

“Aye, we have an accord!"

Catherine did her best to put on a brave face in front of Andrew’s friend and comrade during their ride to the fort in the carriage. Despite her demeanor, she had many thoughts running through her head as to what condition she would find Andrew, for he had once told her the severity of such mishaps and the resulting shrapnel wounds. When she saw James upon arriving at the fort, she was greatly relieved and ran to him.

“Please tell me Andrew is going to be alright,” Catherine stammered quickly and embraced James much to his surprise.

“Catherine, he is going to be fine,” James replied as he nervously placed a hand on her back and rubbed it to comfort her. “He has been treated by one of the ship surgeons and is resting in the infirmary.”

“Can you take me to see him?”

“Yes, of course I can.” James quietly led Catherine to the infirmary where Andrew was being attended. Opening the door, he introduced Catherine to the surgeon. “Catherine, this is Mr. McKee, one of the finest surgeons in the Royal Navy. I owe him my life. Andrew is in good hands.”

"Jim, I'm a doctor, not a member of Parliament!" the surgeon griped."I don't need any flattery.”

“How is my husband?”

"Madam, you have a very lucky man on your hands," Mr. McKee began to explain. "He could have been much worse off than he is. His left arm is broken and the bone needed reset. He has a concussion, and he has numerous shrapnel wounds, scrapes, and contusions. He needs to stay here in bed for a few days until I am sure it is safe for him to be moved. His left arm needs to stay in a sling and splinted for at least six weeks. If anything, he simply needs some tender loving care and a watchful eye. Other than that, in time he will completely recover. For now, we need to make sure that he does not get any infections. Infections can be deadly. After he is in the clear from any potential complications, we can have him moved back home to finish recovering."

"Thank you for your help, doctor. May I go and see him now?"

"Yes, of course you can. I gave him some laudanum to help with the pain and sedate him, so he may be a bit out of sorts."

Catherine quietly opened the door, slowly walked inside, and immediately felt grieved for the amount of pain Andrew surely had to be experiencing. After visually taking in his injuries, she quietly moved to his bedside and gently took his free hand into her own before trying to speak to and comfort him.

"Andrew, darling, I'm here. Everything is going to be all right. The doctor said that you should make a full recovery. I will be here to help you every step of the way."

“Oh, Catie,” Andrew moaned groggily and opening his eyes. “What happened?”

“Some of the munitions and gunpowder on the ship you were inspecting somehow were ignited,” she explained as she rubbed his hand.

“Was anyone else hurt? I don’t really remember much.”

“Yes, but I am told that you got the worst of it, dear.”

“I see.”

“Now I want you to try and rest. The doctor has given you some laudanum to help you relax, so please try and get some sleep.”With that, Andrew nodded his head in compliance and closed his eyes quickly falling into a sedated slumber. 

Having spent much of the evening at Andrew’s side, Catherine asked an infirmary attendant if there happened to be a chapel at Fort Charles where she could say her prayers. There was in fact a small chapel, and the attendant escorted her there. Upon finishing, Catherine returned to Andrew’s side and found him sleeping restlessly. Mr. McKee explained that Andrew unfortunately had developed a fever already, and he was about to give him more laudanum to keep him sedated and still. Spending another hour with Andrew helping Mr. McKee try to keep him cool, Catherine’s head started to droop with fatigue.

“Mrs. Gillette, you are exhausted. Please go home and get some sleep. I will not cease working through the night to care for your husband. I will do everything that I can to break this fever,” Mr. McKee insisted.

After hesitating, Catherine leaned over and kissed Andrew’s right cheek which was uninjured and whispered various sentiments to him. She then took her leave and stopped again at the chapel to pray once more.

“Catherine, you have been in here all night, haven’t you?” James asked after he had stirred from her sleep.

Catherine sat up and rubbed her eyes before looking around her and realized that she had fallen asleep on a pew in the small chapel at Fort Charles. “Yes, it seems that I have. I’m so worried for him, James. He developed a fever last night. He was sleeping so fitfully. What are you doing in here anyway?”

“I came to offer prayers for you and Andrew,” he explained as he knelt down.

“Oh, well, thank you. I will leave you to it,” she stood up and stretched before kneeling down beside him to do the same. Once they had finished, they got up one at a time and sat on the pew.

"Your love is what gives him strength and will give him the will to get well again," James noted looking down sadly with feelings of envy for the love the Gillettes had for each other.

“Andrew has only ever been good to me. I have never felt pressured by him for anything. Ever. He’s always been so content and puts my needs above his. And yet I feel as if all I ever do is disappoint him. Even though he never says it or shows it. Sometimes I feel such deep shame and that everything is my fault. To be honest, I do not even understand my own feelings most of the time.”

“And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.”

“Saint Paul’s letter to the Corinthians.”

“Yes,” James gently took Catherine’s hand. “I feel the same way as you and also do not understand it. Shame in regard to Andrew that is. But our dear Andrew seems to have enough love for both of our sins whatever they may be, doesn’t he?”

“Dear old Saint Andrew,” she nodded.

“Have you even had anything to eat?”

“No.”

“Come to my office,” James stood and offered Catherine his arm. “If you are hungry, please have my lunch for some breakfast. There is also a cot in there so you can get some rest. I will leave you in peace and ensure that you are not disturbed. When you are ready, please feel free to go to the infirmary to see Andrew. I will be busy at the docks investigating yesterday’s incident, but if you need anything, do not hesitate to ask someone to fetch me.”

“Thank you, dear friend,” Catherine accepted his arm and allowed him to escort her to his office. _“I’m exhausted. Hang propriety,”_ she thought as they exited the chapel arm in arm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chuid den tsaol = "my share of life"
> 
> I did not want to try to spell out how Tia speaks in her accent out of fear of murdering it, so I just left it be. In doing a little research, there was a real woman called "Nanny of the Maroons" or "Queen Nanny." She practiced Obeah which continues to be a source of controversy in Jamaica today. She led a group of former African slaves and caused the British a lot of trouble in Jamaica. Moore Town is also a real place. I felt that she sounded like someone Tia would have had in her network. 
> 
> Years ago when I was dabbling with this fic, the main focus was to be Andrew's accident - inspiration came from a screencap of Damian O'Hare's injured character in an episode of a show called Red Cap.


	14. Healing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: smut at the end of the chapter

After ensuring her comfort and leaving Catherine behind in his office to get some rest, James made his way to the fort’s infirmary to see how Andrew was faring having learned from Catherine that he had developed a fever overnight. Finding Mr. McKee in his office freshening up, he first requested an update. The grizzly old surgeon reported that once Catherine had left, he personally examined Andrew thoroughly again to see if he could determine a source of the infection. Not finding anything obvious, all he could do was to continue treating the fever and keep Andrew as comfortable as possible.

Quietly entering the room, James took off his coat draping it on the chair and sat next to the cot. Andrew looked as pale as his white linen underdrawers which were the only clothing he was wearing. Noting Andrew being drenched in sweat, James took a clean cloth and dipped it in a bowl of fresh water the attendant had just placed beside him. Wringing out the excess water, he folded the cloth and gently dabbed the sweat from Andrew’s brow.

Andrew stirred and groaned before barely rasping out, “Catie?”

“Shh,” James, ignoring decorum, tried to soothe Andrew, “Not quite.”

“Jamie?” Andrew opened his right eye which was not swollen shut and squinted at James trying to focus his vision.

“Yes, it is I. Here, have a few sips. Careful,” he propped up Andrew’s head and helped him drink a little water from a cup. “You have had a rough night of it. How are you feeling?”

“Awful. I feel like I’m burning up. That laudanum tastes like shite, but it does at least help with the pain. It seems to have made my nose stuffy and itchy, though. Where is Catie anyway?”

“She’s resting and refreshing herself in my office. Dear woman slept in the chapel all night on a pew. That’s where I found her first thing this morning just after sunrise.”

“Bless her. She’s a saint. She must be worried about me something awful. When do you think I can go home?”

“Old McKee won’t be releasing you from the infirmary any time soon because of the fever you have. He wants to keep a close eye on you as you could take a turn for the worse at any moment. From personal experience with the shot to my shoulder, it would be wise to listen to him. You’re in no shape to put up a fight and protest right now anyway,” James winked.

“And what about you? How are you going to function without me?” Andrew chirped back.

“I simply do not know how I will ever cope! I am, however, relieved to see that your sense of humor is not injured.”

Having taken a short nap, eating a little of James’ lunch, and freshening up, Catherine made her way back to the infirmary to see if Andrew had improved at all overnight. James had taken his leave to go to the docks to start his investigation not long prior. Mr. McKee was checking Andrew’s dressings upon her arrival. Happy that his wounds would likely hold up, the surgeon suggested that Andrew try sitting up in the cot and having a little porridge. McKee and an attendant, each taking a side, gently assisted Andrew to sit up and get comfortable. And then the source of infection revealed itself. Andrew suddenly coughed and then sneezed quite violently.

“Damn it!” Andrew shouted out in pain grabbing at his ribs on the left side. “Bloody hell!”

Mr. McKee quickly turned his attention to Andrew’s ribs and examined them. Confident that there were not any fractures, he then put his ear close to Andrew’s back and then chest. After giving the attendant some instructions and dismissing him, McKee proceeded to explain his thoughts.

“Lieutenant Gillette, you are a very fortunate but misfortunate man. I believe that you might have the grippe.”

“Pardon? I still cannot hear very well in this ear from the blast,” Andrew explained.

Moving to the other side of the cot and motioning for Catherine, who was still standing at the end of it, to come and sit next to Andrew, McKee explained, “Lad, you likely have grippe, the influenza. It certainly does not mean that you are completely out of danger, but it is at least reassuring that you do not have sepsis from one of your wounds.”

“He did mention yesterday morning that he was not feeling quite himself and sounded a little congested,” Catherine noted. “He’s never been ill except for one or two short-lived colds since I have known him.”

“Well, that’s reassuring that you are usually of good health and have a strong constitution. We’re going to gently bind your ribs as they are likely badly bruised given the amount of pain you had when you sneezed just now. The binding will give you support. You’re due some more laudanum, but unfortunately I am going to have to lower your dose slightly in light of the influenza. So, you are fortunate not to be septic, but so unfortunate to have to manage the pain while coughing and sneezing,” Mr. McKee explained.

“Thank you for clarifying everything, doctor,” Catherine smiled. “May I help you with the binding?”

“Of course, you can.”

“We’re going to get you well and strong again, darling,” she reassured her husband.

After another dose of laudanum and the application of the binding, they helped Andrew resettle himself up against some pillows.He then managed to eat some porridge and have a cup of tea despite everything seeming to work against him.

“I want to be at home with you,” Andrew huffed, exhausted, almost looked like he was going to burst into tears after Catherine had helped him with his breakfast.

“Andrew, darling, shh,” she lifted his hand and kissed it before holding it to her cheek. “There, there, you will be home soon enough. The laudanum is making you a little dysphoric, but bless, you’ve been through quite a lot since yesterday. No wonder you’re upset.”

“I do not remember much of the actual incident. And to be honest, what I do remember does not bother me one bit. I’m just miserable and would rather be in my own bed.”

“I too would rather you be home in our bed, but I will come every day to help tend to you while you’re here as long as they allow me. I’m sure James and Theo will be stopping by often to visit as well.”

“You must go home and get some proper sleep tonight. James told me you slept in the chapel.”

“So the captain has reported me to the authorities?” she joked.

“Aye, he did. It has been agreed to let you go free without punishment this time, but if you break the law again, I’m afraid there will be a court martial.”

“What kind of punishment might I expect?”

“I do not think that it would be proper to flog a woman, so I imagine that I would have to bend you over my knee and give you a good spanking.”

“The horror!” she feigned shock causing Andrew to start to cough from trying not to laugh. “I’m so sorry,” she wiped the sweat from his brow once he was able to settle again.

“It’s not your fault. I suppose we will have to try and avoid our usual bantering until I have healed,” Andrew conceded.

Later that day after Andrew had some supper, Catherine left him in Theodore Grove’s care and made her way home feeling guilty for having left Nellie at the house without sending her any word about what had happened. Feeling somewhat relieved to get out of her stays which she had been wearing for over twenty-four hours, she filled a sack that evening with some things to take back to the infirmary for Andrew the next morning.

In the coming days, Andrew continued to have difficult nights with his influenza symptoms including night sweats and bouts of painful coughing. During the day he was finding severe headaches to be the most bothersome. Thankfully by the fifth day after his accident his fever finally broke, and he finally seemed to turn a corner. Mr. McKee felt it was time for Andrew to try to get out of bed into a chair. It was a struggle, but he managed with assistance. In the process they found that he also mildly sprained his left ankle from the blast, but as it did not bother him greatly, Mr. McKee was satisfied with him putting gentle pressure on it in order to do transfers. With Catherine’s aid, they got Andrew washed and helped him to put on some clean underdrawers, breeches, and a shirt.

By the end of the week, Mr. McKee felt comfortable with discharging Andrew from the infirmary and having him transferred back home. As Andrew continued to have much pain from his injuries, it would be far too difficult for him to climb in and out of a carriage, so although somewhat undignified, he was loaded into the back of a horse-drawn cart. By this point, he did not care how it happened. Andrew was just happy to be on his way home. Both James and Theo helped get him upstairs to bed, and being sure that the Gillettes were not in need of any further aid, the two officers took their leave. Settled into his own bed with help from Catherine, Andrew put his free hand over his face and started to weep.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed and gently pulling him into her embrace, Catherine rubbed his back and asked, “What is it, darling?”

“I’m so happy to be home. And,” Andrew slightly snorted in humor at himself, “I clearly cannot handle the extra laudanum they gave me for the journey home very well. It makes me quite emotional.”

“You poor thing,” she smiled and kissed his forehead. “I’m just glad that I can see both of your beautiful eyes again now that all the swelling of your left eye has gone down,” she gently wiped his tears away. “Have you even seen what you look like?”

“No, please get me a looking glass.” Catherine retrieved a hand mirror from her bureau for him. Taking it, Andrew examined himself carefully and quipped, “Well, at least only half of my face is ugly!”

“Yes, you have one good cheek that I can pinch and kiss all that I want! Mr. McKee reassured me, though, that your face should heal just fine. It was mostly bruises and some abrasions there. Some of the bruising is already starting to fade. You seemed to have taken most of the splintered wood to your arm and leg. He said you had quite a large piece removed from your thigh. You are so lucky, Drew. It frightens me to think about how much worse it could have been.”

“Well, the good Lord’s angels were certainly protecting me that day. Try not to dwell on what could have happened. We need to move forward now and focus on setting me on the mend. I only hope that I do not drive you mad in the process,” he managed a small ornery smile.

While Andrew’s wounds and remaining influenza symptoms improved as he regained his strength, the only lingering problem that he continued to have was the severe headaches that he had been experiencing since his time in the infirmary. During a home visit to check on Andrew’s progress, Mr. McKee reassured him and Catherine that it was not unusual for someone to experience such headaches long after a blow to the head such as Andrew had. He provided them with advice about what may help to ease them. Unfortunately, one of his suggestions was for Andrew, much to his disappointment, not to spend so much time reading books.

With the advice they received from the surgeon in mind, when a headache occurred, Catherine would immediately close the curtains to block out the sunlight as much as possible. Andrew could not help but to rest in a fetal position on the bed at the times that they were the most severe. Catherine would apply a cool cloth to his forehead and do what she could to soothe him, sometimes sitting up on the bed and having him rest his head in her lap while gently stroking his hair. They were both relieved when the headaches gradually started to ease up about three and a half weeks after the accident.

One day around this time, James came to see if Andrew was making any improvement. He had been eager to visit him at home throughout the ordeal, but there were many days that work kept him down at Fort Charles and the docks. Or, in some cases, Andrew had a headache and was not feeling up to having visitors. This day in particular James felt it was urgent to get a visit in at Philadelphia House as he had received news that he would have to take the _Interceptor_ out on patrol for a couple of weeks. He silently had hoped the admiralty would have waited for Andrew to return to his duties, but alas, he knew things ultimately must move forward without him at his side.

“How are we all holding up here?” James asked before sipping some tea that Catherine had just poured. Andrew was taking a nap upstairs in bed at this time.

“Some days are better than others. He is feeling much improved and has made a lot of progress. And he’s starting to actually drive me a little mad!” Catherine shook her head. “Andrew has never been one to annoy me, but he’s getting to be a little too needy. At the same time I must pity him, he’s desperately bored.”

“How much longer is he to stay cooped upstairs?”

“Mr. McKee is of the opinion that if he has two days without any semblance of a headache that he can come downstairs and get some fresh air in the garden. At that point he can also start to read a little again. Then we will progress to some short walks. No headache yesterday, so if we get through today, we’re finally in the clear!”

“Catie!” they could hear Andrew calling somewhat pathetically from upstairs. “Catie, love, I need you!”

“Ugh, not again,” she frowned and put down her cup. “I was just upstairs reading to him before he drifted off just before you arrived."

“I’ll go,” James offered. “If you don’t mind, of course.”

“Please!”

Andrew smiled as James walked into the bedroom, “Ah, Jamie, I didn’t know you were here.”

“Yes, I arrived shortly after you had fallen asleep. As we did not want to disturb you, Catherine offered to have me wait in the parlor with her and have some tea.”

“I wouldn’t have minded much if either of you had stirred me. To be honest, as of late, I only take cat naps because I have nothing better to do. I am afraid that I might be getting cabin fever. Catie has been ever so patient with me. I keep pulling her away from her housework and such to come up here and entertain me.”

“Well, as much as you are itching to get out of bed, best to listen to Mr. McKee’s advice lest you lose the progress you have made.”

“Aye, I would not dream of ignoring his advice. I have a feeling a scolding from him would be worse than anything I received from a superior officer as a midshipman.”

“Trust me. It is!” James smiled. “I have seen him on occasion physically restrain obstinate sailors who refused to rest and mind their wounds per his orders. By the way, I haven’t had the chance to inform you of the results of my investigation as to the cause of the accident that brought about your injuries.”

“Oh, please do tell.”

“It was quite a miracle that we managed it, but we happened to find a broken tobacco pipe in the area of the blast. Not long after we started making inquires of the crew, a young ship boy appeared at my office red in the face and with tears streaming down his cheeks. Bless the lad, he confessed with no outside persuasion that he had been smoking the pipe below deck of the merchant vessel, and when he heard one of the sailors looking for him, out of fear of being caught, he foolishly tossed the pipe behind some barrels. He cannot read, poor boy, and didn’t know what was in them. Likely by the time you and our men had boarded to complete the inspection, the pipe had already caused the wood of the deck and barrels to be smoldering. Lad was on his knees sobbing and pleading for mercy by the end of his confession.”

“Poor child,” Andrew sighed. “What are you going to do with him?”

“I fined his captain heavily. As for the boy himself, I am not punishing him, but taking heed of my suggestion, he readily agreed to serve in His Majesty’s Navy. And, of course, we will teach him to read and do simple sums.”

“Well done, James.”

“Thank you, friend. During my investigation, I came to be of the opinion that the captain and his men were neglectful of the boy anyway. Perhaps now he will have a better chance in life.”

“Best to help them when they’re young and vulnerable lest they be drawn to the venture of piracy out of desperation to improve their lot in life,” Andrew added.

“Indeed! Young Samuel Crosby is eager to apologize to you in person once you are well enough. He really is contrite, although I reassured him that he was not entirely at fault.”

“Right, it was simply a mistake. How many times could I have found myself in a similar position when we were lads?”

“Far too many to count!” James grinned. “I had to get you out of so many scrapes.”

“Aye, I probably would not be here if it weren’t for you.”

“We have so many memories between the two of us. Now then, if you are still feeling alright, I have two more matters that I wish to discuss.”

“Go on,” Andrew nodded.

“First, I wanted to inform you that I must take the _Interceptor_ out on patrol for a fortnight starting tomorrow. Theo will temporarily fill your position until you are able to rejoin us. Hopefully by the time we return, you will nearly be back to yourself if your recovery does not experience any setbacks.”

“What I would do to get out of here and go with you!” Andrew pouted. “But I will pray all goes well for you and Theo and the men. What else is it that you wanted to speak with me about?”

James, noticeably uncomfortable, clenched his jaw and paused briefly before starting, “Andrew, as I have said many times before, I consider you to be my closest friend. In fact, I feel that our affection runs even deeper than that. I suppose one could say that we are like brothers.”

“I agree with your sentiment.”

“I have never admitted this to anyone, but having accomplished what I have in the navy, I am starting to realize that I am missing other significant things in my life, namely, the love of a good wife. At times, I find myself envying the deep love and affection that you and Catherine share for one another. And thus, I suppose that I must now look in earnest for a woman to court in hopes of being lucky enough to be blessed with the same kind of marriage that you have.”

“Well, it is about time, friend! I wholly support your endeavor, and if I can be of assistance, please let me know!” Andrew beamed.

“I have been thinking long and hard.” James hesitated nervously for a moment before continuing, “I think that I might ask Governor Swann if I have his permission to court Miss Elizabeth. I know that I may yet have to wait two or three more years until she is truly ready as he is keen for her to further her domestic and social education. He’s still trying to correct the poor behaviors that he had allowed her to indulge in as a child. But I am willing to wait if I must.”

“I concede that from a social standpoint it would prove to be a smart match for both you and Miss Swann,” Andrew noted. “It would allow you to progress further up the social ladder while giving Governor Swann the confidence and comfort that he needs to know that she will be well looked after once he is gone.”

“Aye, that it would.”

“You know her better than Catherine or me. Can you elaborate why you have come to this decision? There are many eligible ladies of society in Port Royal and elsewhere in the colonies. I just want to know how best to encourage you in this.”

“Miss Elizabeth is an intelligent woman. Although it has certainly drawn ire from her father and criticism from her peers and society at large, I find her independent spirit refreshing and admirable. Even when I first met her when she was a child, I found her uniqueness to be somewhat magnetic.”

“You speak of her qualities, but how do you feel about her?”

“I am very fond of her and care very much for her welfare and happiness. It brings me joy to see her happy. As to love, I think that it is something that would come in time and grow as we spend time together in courtship. I know that she respects me greatly, but outside of this, I am unsure of her feelings for me. I am not one to fear much in life, but my greatest fear in all of this is that she would not reciprocate my feelings. Or worse yet, reject me publicly for one of our peers.”

“That is always a risk when it comes to matters of the heart, Jamie. I was so nervous to ask Mrs. Richardson for permission to court Catherine, and when the time came, I was utterly terrified to propose marriage to her. Ultimately, you just have to do it or else you’ll never know and never get anywhere. I think that if you are serious about this that you should speak to Governor Swann sooner rather than later to make your intentions clear. Even if he requests a period of waiting until he is happy that she is ready to be courted, at least you have your foot in the door as they say.”

“I do think he will be delighted. He has become somewhat of a father figure to me over the years. One last thing that I must ask you. Do you have any reservations about this?”

“I have only one.” Andrew thought of the best way to express his answer to James understanding that this was something that was clearly important to him. After scratching his head, he then proceeded, “Not that it should matter or change how you wish to proceed, but I thought that you might want to know that Catherine is not overly fond of Miss Swann. Please do not let on to her that I have told you this. Even from the first time that we met her, something about Miss Swann has just not sat right with Catherine. She cannot even put her finger on what it is exactly. I cannot figure it out either. I know that she finds her behavior and how it effects Weatherby upsetting, but I think that is something reasonable for anyone to be critical of concerning her. Particularly if you are like Catherine and I and have lost your parents at a young age.”

“Yes, I can see how her appearing ungrateful towards her father would be upsetting in such a case,” James reasoned.

“It certainly cannot be jealousy either. Catherine expresses often how content she is with our home and our life together. Well,” Andrew lowered his voice almost to a whisper, “except for the difficulties we are having in conceiving a child and having a successful pregnancy. Poor thing blames herself. But, heavens, I have said far too much. Please do not mention knowing anything about this to her either. I promised her and kept mum about it up until now, but I would rather not discuss it again or further.”

“I’m so sorry, Andrew. I promise that we do not have to say anything more on such a sensitive matter unless you wish,” James briefly put a reassuring hand on Andrew’s shoulder.

“Thank you, it has been direful for both of us but particularly for Catie. Anyway, as I was saying, that is my only concern, but do not let it change anything. I just thought that you should know. Maybe it’s just a womanly thing to not like other women for unknown reasons?” he shrugged.

“Perhaps,” James also shrugged. “Maybe she will come around to Miss Swann a bit more for my sake. Thank you for your honesty in all of this, friend,” he smiled. “Now hopefully within the next day or so you will finally be free from this gilded cage.”

“I hope so if not for my benefit then for Catie’s,” Andrew grinned mischievously. “Is it alright if I tell her about your courtship plans?”

“You may if you wish. I see no harm.”

After visiting with Andrew and having a heart to heart with him about his decision to seek courtship with Elizabeth Swann, James had much to think about on his walk home from Philadelphia House. He never had thought much about the fact that the Gillettes had not yet had any children. He had only assumed that perhaps they were actively avoiding conception for whatever reason or that they just were not bothered by the fact that it had not happened for them yet. But he found that he felt saddened learning that it was such a painful experience for his friends with them having such deep longing for something and being unable to have it.

_“Perhaps Catherine, of course without Andrew knowing, would be willing to allow me to try…”_ He stopped walking mid-thought and kicked a small rock out of anger with himself, _“Damn it, Norrington! What the hell are you even thinking? Suggesting to your best friend’s wife that she commit adultery with you so that you can impregnate her? May God have mercy on my wretched soul for even imagining such a damned thing!”_

After taking a few deep breaths and calming down, James continued on down the road still pondering the longing the Gillettes felt. And clearly, James, for one, certainly understood the pains of longing for something, or rather someone, that he could not have. Understanding this small revelation only led him to think of the other thing he and Andrew had discussed.

_“I wonder what it is that has caused Catie to dislike Elizabeth so much,”_ James thought as he walked further along the road. _“But perhaps it would make things easier for me to finally move on from having feelings for her if that is the case. If I marry Elizabeth, knowing that Catie despises the woman that is my wife will help cut my ties of love to her. Perhaps I will finally no longer feel distressed by yearning for that which does not belong to me despite years of trying to suppress it. The Gillettes have been secretly carrying their own burden, but my burden must always remain my own. My dearest Catie,”_ he sighed sadly as he shed a couple silent tears allowing himself to grieve that which could never be.

Meanwhile things back at the Gillette residence were becoming a little tense. After James had taken his leave, Catherine went upstairs to check on Andrew. Happy to see that he was feeling well, she sat next to the bed and asked him how he enjoyed James’ visit. After the incident years ago where James and Andrew withheld from Catherine the fact that James was being transferred to Port Royal, Andrew knew it was best not to hide things from her lest he have to deal with her resulting emotional fallout. So of course, he thought it would be wise to divulge to her about James’ plans to court Elizabeth Swann.

“Is he serious?” Catherine clenched her fists into the fabric of her skirt.

“Yes, he decided to formally make his intentions clear to Governor Swann soon,” Andrew explained.

“What nonsense! And you didn’t at least try to discourage him?”

“Catie, he’s my best friend, but not only that, he’s a grown man. He can make his own choices, and even if you do not like it, we should still support him in his search for love because we care about him!”

“What utter shite!” she shouted swearing which was very unusual for her. “I need to go for a walk. If you need anything, you’ll just have to shout for Nellie to come and help you!”

“Darling, wait!”

Catherine stomped down the stairs and out the front door slamming it shut as angry tears started to form in her eyes. She huffed and thought to herself, _“How could James do this? I suspected that he would consider putting himself forward as one of that hussy's suitors, but I never thought he would take it this far this quickly!”_ Feeling sorry for herself, Catherine plopped down on the bench that Andrew had placed on the hill overlooking Port Royal and had a good cry. _“I’m being selfish,”_ she finally admitted to herself after calming down, _“and jealous._ _I have no claim on James. And if I truly love and care for him as I constantly tell myself, then I must let him go. Even if it means that it he is with someone I do not like. If I knew without a doubt that he was truly happy and loved, then perhaps I could finally put this to rest.”_

Dragging herself home, Catherine picked at the dinner that Nellie had saved for her before hiding away in the library. Nellie checked on Andrew before leaving, and so when Catherine had not heard a single noise come from their bedroom since Nellie’s departure, she admitted defeat and decided to come out of her hiding. Peeking into the bedroom and seeing Andrew dozing away, she creeped inside and began to undress.

“Catherine, are you alright?” Andrew asked having awakened and startling her slightly.

“Yes, I am fine. Andrew, I am so sorry for snapping at you earlier. You’re right. It is up to James to make his own choices, and we should simply love and support him as our friend.”

“All is forgiven, sweetheart. You must be quite tired keeping house and looking after me at the same time lately. It’s no wonder you’re a bit grumpy. Come to bed,” he smiled gently and patted the empty space next to him.

The next morning everyone at Philadelphia House was in bright spirits as Andrew had been headache free for two entire days meaning that he was finally free to leave the bedroom. Despite having a slight limp and having his arm splinted and in the sling, Andrew got on with things quite well and practically inhaled his breakfast eager to spend some time in the garden. Unable to resist Andrew’s cheerful spirit, both Catherine and Nellie could not help but to join him outside with their sewing baskets. Enjoying the sun, Andrew closed his eyes and looked as if all were right in the world. Suppressing a laugh, Catherine gently elbowed Nellie to gain her attention and pointed out to her a bright blue butterfly that had decided to rest right on top of Andrew’s head. The two women smiled at each other before continuing their sewing with him completely oblivious to the little guest sitting in his tousled auburn hair.

“Andrew!” Catherine shouted from the garden one afternoon a week or so later. “Oh, do come quickly!”

Hearing her shouts, Andrew quickly limped from the kitchen already full of worry about what might be the cause of her immediate need of his attention given that he would not be of much help with his arm still immobilized. To his relief, she seemed alright as he found her knelt down in front of the chicken coop. This left him to wonder if a predator had ransacked it or if something else had gone wrong. Huffing and puffing and feeling slightly irritated, he managed to ask, “Catie, whatever is the matter? Why are you shouting?”

“Look!” she got up and showed him two tiny chicks sitting in her cupped hands. “We have some surprise hatchlings!”

Andrew sighed and started to scold her. “You, ninny! The way you were carrying on out here I thought you were in jeopardy, and I would have been just about worthless in trying to help you like this!”

“I’m sorry, Drew,” she frowned a little. “I did not mean to startle you thus. I was just so excited to discover these little peeps and their siblings. How could you possibly be angry about these little ones, hmm?” she held the chicks up to Andrew’s face.

“Ugh, well they are quite fluffy.” One of the chicks started making little cheeps at him. “I must concede that they are completely adorable,” he lifted the corner of his mouth cracking a smile.

“I better get them back to their mama,” she turned and knelt down putting them back in the coop. Getting up again, she gently put her arms around his neck and said, “Your arm will be free soon, and then you can hold them yourself,” before standing on her tiptoes and giving him a peck on the lips.

“Better yet, I will be able to hold you properly again. Besides making it easier for us to indulge in other things together,” he winked flirtatiously.

“You don’t like me being on top?” she arched her brow.

“Oh, I thoroughly enjoy it when you ride me, but two hands are always better than one,” he purred in her ear.

With about a week remaining until the splint and sling on Andrew’s arm could finally be removed, Theodore Groves stopped by for a visit having returned from being on patrol with James. Happy to see Andrew nearly fully recovered and enjoying life once again, Catherine insisted that Theo stay and have dinner. Afterwards, Andrew and Theo spent a good amount of time out in the garden during which at one point Catherine spotted them quite far towards the back of their property with Andrew pointing out something to Theo. Later when questioned about what they were doing, Andrew simply explained to Catherine that he was curious as to what was beyond their cultivated garden space.

That evening at dusk there was a sudden knock at the front door. Nellie, who was preparing to go home for the night, answered it only to be greeted by a woman with curly red hair and a man that she assumed was her husband. “Does this be the house of a Lieutenant Andrew Gillette, miss?” the woman inquired loudly with a heavy Irish accent.

Hearing the woman’s voice, Andrew, who was sitting on the settee and resting his head on Catherine’s shoulder, sat upright and asked aloud, “Auntie Fiona?”

“Andrew, lad?” the woman called out loudly.

Andrew jumped up and went as quickly as he could to the front door where the woman had already barged in past Nellie leaving the man who was with her behind on the doorstep. “Auntie Fi, what are you doing here?” he embraced her before noting the man outside. “Uncle Donal? Come in, come in!” he motioned the man inside before wishing Nellie a good night and closing the door. “I never would have expected to see you both! Come and meet my wonderful wife, Catherine!”

After Andrew led his aunt and uncle into the parlor and made the necessary introductions, Fiona explained to Catherine further, “I’m Niamh’s eldest sister. She was the baby of the family, and we were always close even though physical distance kept us apart.”

“What brings you to Port Royal, Aunt Fiona?” Catherine inquired.

“Well, our youngest is married off now, and our crops have not been doing as well as of late, so we decided to try a new endeavor elsewhere. Andrew, your cousin Liam suggested working on a sugar cane plantation, so we scoped out some work here in the West Indies. Unfortunately being from near Belfast, we have discovered that the heat is too much for your Uncle Donal here, so we thankfully have just enough money left to move north where Liam has found some work for us in Virginia. In one of her last letters to me, Niamh told me that you were getting transferred here. You’re all that’s left of my favorite sister, so I could not help but to stop and see you since we were in the region,” Fiona explained. “God in heaven, I miss her,” she got teary eyed.

“Aye, I miss them all,” Andrew frowned, “but it does my heart good to see you both.”

“You look just like her, you know,” Fiona smiled after wiping a stray tear from her cheek. “And what exactly happened to you?” she asked noting the sling. “Still as reckless as you were as a child?”

“Was in a wee accident down at the docks. I was hurt quite badly, but the Lord saw fit not to take me home that day. With Catie’s help, I am nearly back to full health now,” he affectionately rubbed her back.

“Oh! Speaking of the Lord above,” Fiona started rustling around in her bag before pulling out a small box. “I don’t know how they are with enforcing the laws about papacy in these parts, but I wanted you to have this,” she opened the box and pulled out a chain of white rosary beads. “It was a confirmation gift given to your mother when she was wee. All done within secrecy, of course.”

Andrew gently took the beads and could not help but to clutch them tightly to his chest knowing that they were probably the only possession of his mother’s that he had. “Thank you ever so much. This means quite a lot to me. And actually it reminds me. After I was injured and quite unwell, the first couple of nights I was quite delirious with fever and laudanum. One of those nights I had a dream about mother. She embraced me tightly, told me how much she missed me, but said that my time had not yet come. So this,” he sniffled a little and held up the beads, “feels positively providential. I will cherish them all the days of my life.”

“The Divine does often work in mysterious ways,” Fiona smiled.

“I think we needn’t worry about these being in your possession,” Catherine added. “As the island used to belong to Spain, the effort to eradicate the practice of Catholicism from the island’s constituents would be an exercise in futility. And many argue that the island is still under the jurisdiction of the Bishop of Cuba. Besides, Governor Swann is a good man and seeks to treat people fairly. In fact, he has expressed interest in Andrew’s Irish Catholic heritage and said that he feels it is silly to judge people simply because of where they are from or what they believe.”

“Yes, Weatherby Swann is a good man,” Andrew agreed. “His ideas on justice are sometimes much different and progressive from the government as a whole. I have felt freer to be myself and embrace my heritage here than I ever did in England. Other colonies of the empire have not proven to be so lucky.”

“Aye, I hope that one day we can all speak Gaelic and practice our faith freely again,” Fiona sighed.

The Gillettes offered for Aunt Fiona and Uncle Donal to stay as their guests, but they had already paid for a room at the inn for the night not knowing for sure if they would be successful in finding their nephew before nightfall. After saying goodnight and promising to return the next day, they took their leave. Catherine could not help but jokingly ask if Andrew’s Uncle Donal was a mute as the poor man barely spoke the entire time they were there. Andrew explained that, like his mother, his Auntie Fiona usually did enough talking for the both of them. But being quite timid, Uncle Donal seemed content for it to be that way.

Andrew’s relatives returned the next day as they had promised, and Andrew and Catherine insisted that they stay with them for the remainder of their time in Port Royal. Catherine offered to help Aunt Fiona by walking with her back to the inn and then hiring a carriage to bring the women and the belongings back with them to Philadelphia House.

“You and Uncle Donal can stay in my room while you’re here. When we first moved to Port Royal, I did up the room but have never actually stayed in it. Even when Andrew is away I stay in his room. In fact, we do not even bother to make the distinction. It’s our room and our bed. We’ve shared the same bed our entire marriage even after disagreements which are rare,” Catherine explained with a smile as she and Fiona walked to the inn.

“I am delighted that you and Andrew are happy. He’s a good lad,” Fiona smiled back. “Niamh treasured him even if she was always scolding him. She tried many years for a child until she finally had him, so she was very protective. But with the trouble he would get himself into, I swear he made her hair start to turn gray at a young age!” she laughed. “Knowing now from you that your marriage is happy, I can tell what your answer would be without even asking questions in regard to your lack of children. I would never tell this to Andrew lest it hurt his gentle soul, but it is my opinion that the Gillette men are the ones with fertility problems, not their wives. Niamh mentioned that her brother-in-laws had troubles with their wives conceiving, too. And none of my sisters, except for Niamh, had such difficulties. So do not be so quick to blame yourself.”

“Having had a miscarriage, I always felt that it was my fault. But if what you say is true, perhaps Andrew is equally a poor contributor. I would never tell him that, though, even after my friends suggested that it could be that it is his seed that is not good enough.”

“Sometimes for reasons we do not know or understand, it is God’s will that couples are not blessed with children. It has no bearing on whether we are good or bad people. He’s not punishing us.”

“We are willing to consider adoption if it comes to it, but for now we are going to give it some more time. Hopefully one day we will get lucky like Andrew’s parents.”

“I will pray that however it happens for you that one day you will be blessed with a child and that you find the fulfillment that you are seeking.”

“Thank you, auntie.”

Aunt Fiona and Uncle Donal stayed with the Gillettes for five days. Andrew and his uncle spent quite a lot of time outdoors with a good bit of it with them poking around the back of the property. While Catherine was certainly curious about Andrew’s obsession with that area of their land, she found herself quite busy with his aunt who was full of tales from Ireland and what she knew about Andrew’s childhood. Thankfully just before the end of their visit, Mr. McKee stopped by to remove the splint on Andrew’s arm freeing him to embrace his family properly as they said their farewells.

Having received instruction from Mr. McKee to stretch his left arm and gently start strengthening it again, Andrew was keen to start doing small projects about the house. Theo stopped by frequently in the evenings, and Catherine noticed the two of them now disappearing into the brush with machetes for at least an hour or so each time. She suspected they were up to something, but she was not sure what it could be.

Finally, one evening at dinner all became clear when Andrew stated, “Now that I am well again, I thought that it would be nice for us both to spend a little time together just relaxing before I go back on duty.”

“Oh? What do you have in mind?”

“I thought that perhaps a little excursion on the island would be nice. Get us out of the house but not require us to travel far,” he explained. “Not long before I was injured, I had scoped out the land behind our home and found that just over a thirty minute walk through the jungle leads to the shore and a nice little cove. It’s very peaceful and private there. Theo and Uncle Donal have helped me cut a proper trail to the location, and Theo set up a tent for me that we borrowed from the marines last night. What do you think about packing up some food tomorrow and staying there overnight? I even procured a small dinghy that I can row us about in the cove.”

“I have never stayed out of doors before,” Catherine thought aloud. She thought briefly before declaring, “Let’s do it! The opportunity may not present itself again, and a little escape from the mundane will be good for both of us.”

“Excellent! Nellie was already privy to my plans.”

“Ugh, you’re always conspiring against me!”

“Always!” he winked. “She’s packed some food for us so we can set off tomorrow morning after breakfast. She’s happy to mind the chickens for the short time we are gone even if we are just literally over the hill. I also have something that you can wear that will make your journey with me through the vegetation a bit easier. You can try it on this evening. I do hope it fits.”

After gathering up a few items they would need for the next day, Andrew rummaged around in one of his sea chests before presenting Catherine with a uniform to try on. “It’s one of my midshipman’s uniforms from when I was a lad,” he explained holding up the coat.

“I’m not sure if the breeches will fit. I have such wide hips, and you’re so thin.”

“Ah, but when I first started out in the navy I was a bit on the plump side. I did not become as thin as a rail until I started having growth spurts!”

“Well, then, I suppose that I will give it a go,” she took the pile of clothing and went behind the screen to change.

“Come out with just the shirt and breeches first.”

“Very well, dear.” She finally came out from behind the screen and put a hand on her hip, “Well?”

Andrew had her turn around and swore to himself upon seeing her round bottom in the slightly tight breeches. “Oh, Catie, completely perfect! Are you comfortable?”

“Yes, despite the strangeness of it, I am very comfortable. Andrew, you’re so naughty!” she gasped suddenly noting the tented fabric of his breeches. “Is this some sort of fetish for you?”

“I have always wondered what you would look like wearing these, and I am not one bit disappointed!” he beamed ear to ear pulling her into his lap and kissing her deeply.

After a hearty breakfast thanks to Nellie who approved of Catherine’s new attire and promised not to utter word to another soul about it, Andrew and Catherine went out on their little adventure. Even though she wore the uniform partially to fulfill one of Andrew’s little fantasies, Catherine quickly found herself grateful for the ease with which the clothing allowed her to navigate through the brush with Andrew taking the lead. Upon reaching the cove, which Catherine found visually stunning and serene, the couple set up camp before relaxing together on a blanket in the morning sunlight.

“I must say, darling, that your time spent as an invalid actually caused you to put on some weight. I can see it in your cheeks,” Catherine gently stroked Andrew’s jawline as they lay facing each other. “You’re mother would have been so happy."

“I have Mrs. Moody’s and Mrs. Spurgeon’s sweets and cakes that they kept bringing to the house for me to thank for that,” he pouted.

“It is not as if I forced you to eat them, and you ate far more than I did,” she playfully tugged his earlobe.

“Well, they were quite good. I will give them that. And I was just so weak, how could I have resisted?”

“I will have to ask the ladies for their recipes when we get back to our normal social calls again. Until then, I alone will have to suffice,” she flirted.

“Thank you for wearing the uniform.”

“You’re welcome. I must admit that it is very practical. Perhaps I will wear it about the house sometimes.”

“If you do that, I may never be able to get anything done!” he laughed. “Maybe, with some further disguising, we can enlist you and sneak you onboard the _Interceptor_.”

“Why, so the first lieutenant can flirt with me all the time and the crew hear us making love in his cabin thus giving my identity away?”

“Aye, that might not work out so well after all. Damn, I was feeling hopeful!”

That night after a day of exploring the cove, picnicking on the shore, and Andrew rowing them about in the dinghy to help strengthen his arm, the couple admired each other’s nude forms in the firelight having just made love. Andrew brushed Catherine’s hair out of her face before gently tracing down her side to feel her curves with his fingertips. She noted a small glimmer in his eye meaning an idea, most likely a naughty one, was hatching in his mind.

“Let’s go swimming,” Andrew finally blurted out.

“Now? Naked?”

“Yes, now and most certainly naked!” he wiggled his eyebrows before getting up and pulling her up off the blanket.

“We have no idea what might be in those waters! What if a school of sharks have settled in the cove for the night?” she fussed as he gently pulled her by the hand across the sand. “And there’s nearly a full moon! What if someone sees us?” she used her free arm to try to cover her breasts.

“I don’t care if anyone sees us or if we’re mauled and eaten by sharks.” Andrew stopped suddenly and turned to face Catherine after they had entered the water waist deep. Gently cupping her cheeks, he kissed her on the forehead. “If I have learned anything from what we have been through in recent months between your miscarriage and my accident, it is that life is short, and we only have one chance to live it. If I died tomorrow, I would die happy because I know that I have spent every second loving you and making the most of my time here on this earth. I treasure every small moment with you,” his voice went husky.

“God, I love you, Andrew,” Catherine leapt into his arms wrapping her legs around his hips and kissing him roughly.

Andrew moaned into Catherine’s mouth as he tangled the fingers of one of his hands into her hair. Feeling the heat of her center as she ground herself against him, he once again found his manhood standing to attention. Desiring to get a sense of what Catherine wanted, he broke their kiss and kissed his way down her neck nipping at a spot he knew to be sensitive eliciting a moan from her mouth.

“Alright?” he whispered in her ear positioning his member at her entrance.

“Please,” she nodded in consent.

Quickly pushing himself inside of her causing her to let out a small yelp, Andrew began thrusting deeply savoring the sensation. As the water splashed about their bodies, they found their rhythm together. Knowing Andrew’s left arm was still weak from lack of use, she reached down between their bodies and began to stroke her throbbing bud. Andrew muttered his approval as he could tell that she was close to climaxing. Upon reaching her peak, she wrapped her arm back around Andrew’s neck, gasped his name, and held on tightly with her body shuddering as waves of pleasure took her. Feeling Catherine’s body clenching around him and trembling, Andrew allowed himself to find his release groaning deeply into the crook of her neck as he emptied his seed inside of her.

Sensing that they had both floated back down to earth, Andrew pulled out his softening manhood, set Catherine down, and kissed her gently. “Hmm, that was lovely,” he smiled against her lips.

“It was, and thankfully we were not devoured by sharks.”

“No, we only devoured each other.”

“Quite possibly the best way to die then. Don’t you think?” she tousled his hair.

“Oh, utterly divine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my last pre Curse of the Black Pearl chapter. Next chapter will jump ahead about 3 or 4 years.


	15. Commodore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “The flow of time is always cruel. Its speed seems different for each person, but no one can change it. A thing that does not change with time is a memory of younger days.” - Sheik, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

Feeling as if he only had just blinked, Andrew could hardly believe how much time had actually passed and that it was already 1748. One sunny spring afternoon as he sat in the garden watching Catherine tending to her flowers, he thought of all the joys and sorrows they had shared in their nearly nine years of marriage. He could not help but to feel blessed not only in terms of physical comforts like their home but also in deep bonds of friendship that they shared with other people.

Others, he knew, were not so fortunate as they. The Royal Navy often served as a messenger service spreading news of world events to the far reaches of the empire. A couple years prior, they had learned of the fate of those who participated in the Jacobite risings in Scotland, and Andrew could not help but to feel a sense of grief remembering the tales of what his mother’s Irish kin had experienced in retaliation to their own attempts at shirking the control of the English monarchy. As a result, for a brief time, Andrew once again felt conflicted serving in His Majesty’s Navy as a man with Irish blood in his veins. Time, however, often brings clarity, and after several very successful raids against pirates, Andrew felt that at least for the time being he was where he was meant to be.

Recently, the Gillettes had received a letter from Catherine’s cousin Charlotte with whom they had maintained correspondence for all these years. Charlotte was always delighted to hear of all the goings on in Port Royal and often expressed being envious of the her cousin’s exotic place of residence. As Catherine read the letter out loud to Andrew, he could not help but notice her countenance fall slightly in reading that Charlotte was well into her sixth pregnancy. Although she otherwise did not express her feelings on the subject that very moment, Andrew knowingly pulled her closer to him on the settee and gave her a loving squeeze.

A few days later, Catherine brought up the topic at dinner saying, “If we have no success within the year, I am willing to proceed with looking at adoption. If you are in agreement, of course.”

“Of course, I am agreeable,” Andrew smiled fondly reaching over and taking her hand. “Please do not take this as a defeat and blame yourself. You have been so brave and patient to have waited this long. God above knows we have tried time and time again. Let us give it a good try for one more year, and if nothing comes of it, then we will speak to the parish orphanage. Have you ever been past it, Catie? I have been a couple times, and seeing some of those wee ones playing in the street out front was heartbreaking. Perhaps it is our destiny to help some of those poor souls.”

“Darling, you have such a compassionate heart. I think that I am learning that sometimes what we want and what we’re supposed to do may be quite different things. And having heard your thoughts just now, I think, even if we do have our own child, that I just may want us to go to the orphanage anyway. Our home is large enough, and our hearts are even larger.”

“Very well then, within the next year or two it sounds like we will have a wee new member of our household. I am overjoyed!”

The years also had brought some changes to the lives of the citizens of Port Royal. The old vicar at St. Peter’s Church had retired, firstly, and in the interim, some of the church wardens were seeing to teaching the sermons at Sunday services. Andrew always moaned the entire way home in particular when they were forced to listen to one of Mr. Thomas’ dull sermons making Catherine giggle at Andrew’s impressions of the man. Secondly, despite knowing that it was always a possibility, Catherine was greatly disappointed when her friends Mrs. Moody and Mrs. Spurgeon had to leave Port Royal within only a few months of each other due to their husbands being transferred.

Perhaps one of the changes within recent months that caused the most stir and gossip within the various circles of Port Royal society was the news of Captain James Norrington being given permission by Governor Swann to court his daughter Miss Elizabeth Swann. Some claimed to have heard rumors that it was strictly a business deal wherein the captain would be fast tracked to a promotion and Miss Swann’s honor would be restored as she already had a dalliance with the blacksmith’s apprentice and no respectable man would have her. Others gossiped that the woman was a bit muddled in the head and that the captain felt pity for her. Worse yet, others had heard that the captain had sullied her honor and was simply doing the right thing after a pregnancy scare.

It was difficult enough that Catherine struggled as she felt that James was foolish enough to seek out courtship with someone as reckless as Miss Swann, but she held her tongue lest she hurt him. It was even worse catching wind of some of the rumors that were swirling about them while at a celebratory dinner at Captain Bracknell’s home following the announcement of his retirement.

After everyone had finished with their meal, the men, including James and Theodore, huddled in one corner to socialize and play games while the women huddled in another corner. Andrew had stepped out with their host who wished to show him the new long rifle he had imported from a gunsmith in Pennsylvania. Lacking anything of importance to discuss, it did not take long for a couple of the younger women to start wagging their tongues in hushed tones about James despite him being in the very same room. At first, what Catherine had heard seemed to be harmless besides the fact that it was nonsense. But as the idle talk started to become more salacious and hurtful, she could no longer stand by as her friend was slandered. 

“How dare you!” Catherine spat quietly interrupting the busybodies’ giggles. “You have much nerve speaking about someone so disrespectfully let alone the fact that they’re present in the same room. You cowards! Why don’t you go on and say it to his face?” Her scolding started out quietly, but becoming angrier, Catherine’s voice started to carry drawing glances from the other corner of the room. “Captain Norrington is an honorable man that deserves your respect, and he is a dear friend of ours. You would count yourself lucky if he even minded to associate with the likes of you! I simply can no longer tolerate being in the presence of such spiteful tarts. Good day!” she picked up her skirts and stomped off making her escape to the Bracknells’ library. 

Of course, having heard his name, James took notice of the small commotion coming from the other side of the room and witnessed Catherine’s exit as Mrs. Bracknell got up to go after her. James stopped her asking, “What happened? What has upset Mrs. Gillette so?”

“I only caught the tail end of her wrath, captain, but it sounds like she was defending your honor,” Mrs. Bracknell explained. “Some women have sharp tongues and idly gossip not realizing that it can hurt and upset others around them. I should go and see to it that Mrs. Gillette is not too distressed.”

“No need, madam. I will go so that you will not be taken away from your guests. If Lieutenant Gillette returns, please inform him of the situation.”

“Mrs. Gillette is usually rather quiet at gatherings like this, so it must have been quite awful for her to have an outburst like that. She has likely gone to the library. She has stopped by to borrow a book from time to time and expressed her admiration of our collection. Go on and find her.”

“Of course,” James nodded and took his leave.

Having no remorse, upon seeing James going after Catherine, one of the gossipers quipped, “Bet he’s been docking in her port for quite some time now, too.”

Another of them argued, “No, he’s more likely to be docking in his lieutenant’s port.”

“You think?”

“Maybe they share her between them, and now little Swann—“

Mrs. Bracknell cut them off, “I will not tolerate such crude discussion about my friends in my house. I strongly suggest you change the subject immediately or I will escort you personally to the door. You should be ashamed!”

As Mrs. Bracknell gave the impudent young women a proper tongue lashing, James quietly entered the library finding Catherine just as Mrs. Bracknell had suggested. _“We need to stop meeting like this at social events,”_ James thought with humor. “I hear that you were fervently defending my honor just now,” he broke the silence of the room startling Catherine slightly.

“Oh, captain, yes, I suppose you could say that,” she shrugged her shoulders. “Some of the things those bints were saying about you were so cruel and such utter lies,” she wiped away an angry tear that had rolled down her cheek.

“Catie, you should not worry yourself on my behalf."

“I could not stand idly by and let them say those kind of things.”

“What were they saying?”

“At first, it was just harmless speculation about why you are courting Miss Swann, but then their talk became so scandalous and salacious. I could not possibly let such words sully my tongue and dare not repeat such things to you!”

“That bad then?” he sighed.

“Yes, they went in for the kill so to say.”

“Unfortunately, this is not the first instance that I have been informed of people seeking to tarnish my reputation as of late in regard to my seeking Miss Elizabeth’s hand.”

“I know that you would never admit to it, but I can tell it upsets you deeply.”

“But, Catie, they’re just words. I should not let them get to me.”

“You are a virtuous man, and you have every right to feel offended.” Catherine shyly took one of his hands, “If this endeavor brings you such pain and distress, is it really worth it?”

“Well—“ he stalled.

Knowing it would force him to respond, she used his Christian name, “James, do you love Elizabeth?”

“Y-yes I love her,” he stammered in replying. “Or at least, I think that I do.”

“You are our dearest friend. Andrew and I, we love you very much. We would never want to see you left hurt and heartbroken. I suppose then that the three of us will have to come up with a plan to combat these vile rumors.”

“Really? You would do that for me, or rather, for Elizabeth and me?”

“Of course, we would, Jamie,” Andrew’s voice answered as he joined them. “We would do anything for you,” he clapped James on the back.

“I had hoped to propose soon,” James explained, “but perhaps it would be wise not to act in haste as it may only serve to fuel the fire of the gossipmongers. I would not want our early months of marriage tainted by knowledge of such goings on. And, I think it is only fair that we inform Governor Swann of what is being said. He may have some input as to how to deal with such matters.”

“One of the church wardens may be willing to do a sermon on the topic,” Catherine added. “One recent Sunday, Mr. Alexander was having a right old rant to Mr. Thomas about how so many in the church have developed loose tongues as of late.”

“Looks like we have our work cut out for us. James, once you have spoken to Governor Swann, please come to dinner at ours so that we can strategize. In the meantime, I think that it is probably best if Catie and I head home,” Andrew took her by the hand.

“Sorry that I made such a scene,” she apologized.

“You did no such thing. Just be glad that I was not there to have words with them. You would have thought my mother was resurrected from the dead!” Andrew laughed.

“Wait for me in the carriage. I will tell Theo and the Bracknells good evening for all of us and join you,” James explained.

On the way home, Andrew and James chattered with enthusiasm about various topics besides tackling the rumors about James and Elizabeth. Catherine could not help but to tune them out and reflect on the events of the evening. _“Well, this is it. I am helping James get married off. And to that woman of all people. At least maybe my freedom from years of guilt is nigh. I desperately hope that this ends well for him. I cannot bear the thought of him getting hurt. It is clear that the situation is already delicate. He may say that he loves her, but he hesitated. And the entire time we discussed the rumors about them, he never once indicated being concerned for her and what she might think if she were to learn of what is being said. God knows I’ve seen what James is like when he is actually concerned about someone that he loves. This whole thing is just bizarre and unsettles me so. Why could he not have chosen another eligible young woman? Why did he have to make this so complicated?”_

Governor Swann was stricken upon learning what was being said about his daughter Elizabeth and about James for whom he had developed fatherly affection. His first course of action was to sit Elizabeth down and give her a good talking to as some of this was clearly a result of her behavior over the years.

“Elizabeth, from this day forth, you must break all ties with Mr. Turner. Never go near Mr. Brown's smithy again,” he advised.

Elizabeth’s gut reaction was to rebel and outright refuse to obey her father’s instruction, but finally having developed a sense of maturity and responsibility, she reluctantly agreed. “Father, may I at least tell Will—, or Mr. Turner rather, goodbye?” she pleaded.

“Well, I suppose there is no harm in that. But it must be done today, and then that is the end of it.”

“Yes, father. Thank you.”

“We are also going to start hosting some very important members of society to dinner. I will have James come along as well. I want you to put forth every effort to compliment him in front of the others and to express what an asset he has been to Port Royal.”

“But why?”

“I will spare you the details as they would distress you, but you and James unfortunately have become the prime target of those who wish to wag their tongues and spread falsehoods. Oh, if only I had intervened and sent you back to England sooner, this might not have happened. And now the poor captain is the one that has to suffer for it. Bless him, he has such love for you, though. Do you not feel the same for him?”

“Captain Norrington is a kind man,” was all that she could come up with to answer.

“Have you no feelings whatsoever for him?”

“I suppose that I could grow to love him. I do have some affection for him as he has always been a good friend to us. But as a woman of society, I know that it is not necessarily expected for me to be in love with the man that I ultimately marry.”

“Well, at least there is some potential in your heart for love. I just want to ensure that you will be taken care of in my old age. Please do give him a chance.”

With Elizabeth well in hand, Governor Swann set forth his ideas for a positive public relations campaign to James, the Gillettes, Theo, and to any others who had any respect or affection for James. Many of his naval comrades were fond of him and felt that he was a good leader, so they were keen to spread the word. Catherine got her way in that she was easily able to persuade Mr. Alexander to teach a sermon on the importance of honoring those in positions of leadership, and he followed up at the next Sunday services with a sermon on the evils of gossip. Theo worked on rallying the midshipmen to work hard and to speak well of James to their superiors. 

In going about ensuring that all he came into contact knew of James’ qualities as a man and naval officer, during a random conversation with an old naval chaplain, Andrew was surprised to learn that James had been a generous patron of the parish orphanage for many years now. His patronage started not long after his arrival in Port Royal after having found the young orphan William Turner at sea. Said lad spent a brief time living at the orphanage before Mr. Brown took him on as an apprentice, and the chaplain suspected that James had a hand in the lad getting the apprenticeship as well. The chaplain explained that, being humble, James did not want widespread public recognition for his charity, and so his kindness had been kept relatively secret. Knowing that either way he and Catherine would most certainly be going to the orphanage one day to adopt a child, or perhaps more, Andrew tucked away the secret of James’ selfless charity in his heart feeling that James had not only done a good service for the orphans but also for himself and Catherine.

Not wanting to meddle in the affairs of the navy, Governor Swann did not deliberately seek to persuade the admiralty to promote James but rather always showered him in praise when corresponding with them. In reality, the old governor really never had to do much to sway them concerning James as the admiralty already held him in high regard for all of his hard work in seeking to eradicate piracy from the region and to protect the assets of the empire and of the East India Trading Company. They knew that he was navy to the core, loyal, and an honorable man in all of his interactions particularly those with women to whom he showed the utmost respect. With the retirement of Captain Bracknell and having no one suitable to replace him on the _Dauntless_ , the admiralty were provided with the perfect opportunity to promote James from captain to commodore. Governor Swann was delighted.

So, that sunny spring afternoon in 1748, Andrew’s reverie in the garden was interrupted by James who suddenly appeared and was eager to share some news with him.

“Have a seat, James,” Andrew motioned to the empty chair next to him. “Do you wish to have something to drink?”

“No, thank you, I am fine for the moment,” James declined.

“I can tell you’re struggling to contain yourself. What is it? Have you proposed?”

“Ah, no, but you would be the first to know if I did. I just left a meeting with the admiralty. I am to be promoted to commodore this summer,” he smiled.

“Huzzah! Well done, my friend!”

“Thank you, I could not have done it without your undying loyalty and support under my command.”

“Catie!” Andrew shouted to get her attention. “Commodore for James!”

“Oh!” Catherine abandoned her flowers and joined them. “Wonderful news! Congratulations! We are so proud of you,” she handed James a yellow rose.

“Tis lovely,” he smiled. “Governor Swann insists on having a grand ceremony in July to commemorate my promotion and has commissioned a new blade be crafted for me. I’m not sure how I feel about being put on display for all of Port Royal to gawk at,” he laughed. “Andrew will already be there, but Catherine, please come as well. Weatherby will be inviting many civilian members of society, and no doubt other naval wives will be there, too. I have a feeling that this is all part of his plan to help my image.”

“Well, all the citizens of Port Royal owe you a great debt as we have always been safe due to your zeal in protecting us from attack,” Catherine sat down. “They best learn to hold their tongues if they cannot recognize that.”

Unable to contain his excitement, Governor Swann invited James, Theodore, and the Gillettes to the mansion to have dinner with him and Elizabeth as a bit of a preemptive celebration at the news of James’ promotion. The men were all quite talkative at dinner which left Catherine able to observe how Elizabeth comported herself and interacted with James. After they ate, Elizabeth offered to show Catherine the garden taking her a bit by surprise as they never were particularly social with one another even at the many dinners and other events they both attended. Catherine accepted, though, and they took their leave of the men who were still busy chattering away now being a little more under the influence of their drink.

“These gardens are so grand compared to our little garden at Philadelphia House,” Catherine noted feeling a little envious. “Do you tend to them at all?”

“I have a little patch where I have tried to cultivate some flowers, but alas, I am afraid that I do not have a green thumb at all,” Elizabeth sighed. “Thankfully the gardeners manage the rest of it. I feel like that is the case regarding most things in my life. I make a mess of things and other people have to manage and clean it up.”

Unsure what to say in reply to that, Catherine suggested, “Perhaps if you come to my home with Captain Norrington one day for dinner I can show you my garden and give you some pointers.”

“Mrs. Gillette, you and your husband have known the captain for a long time, have you not?”

“Yes, Andrew and I have known him for many years now. He is our closest friend and quite dear to us. He is family.”

“Will you keep our conversation confidential just between us woman to woman?”

“Of course, I will. You seem troubled.”

“Does he ever speak of me?”

“He does quite often, Miss Swann. He even used to mention you in his letters when he first came here to Port Royal.”

“He did?”

“Yes, he found you to be a fascinating young woman.”

“Does he—?” she paused and sighed sitting down on a bench. “Does he say that he loves me?”

“Yes, he has always been very fond of you. And in confidence, Andrew has mentioned that recently the captain told him that he does in fact love you,” she sat down next to Elizabeth and looked at her lap feeling the sting of that bit of information. “He shows complete devotion to those he loves even if it comes at a personal cost.”

“He’s so stiff and quiet when he comes courting. He never used to be like that around me. In the past, I used to catch him stealing glances at me like a schoolboy. But not anymore. It’s like something changed after he asked my father for permission to court me. You would think he’s in mourning the way he acts when we’re together. Being such a gentleman, he is still quite attentive, so my maid Estrella thinks that he’s smitten with me and just being timid. He’s certainly what any woman should dream of marrying. And yet I cannot see it. Mrs. Gillette, he’s a fine man, but I am afraid that I feel nothing for him in terms of love,” Elizabeth started to sniffle. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Is this anything to do with another man?”

“Yes,” she wiped her tears away, “but I do not know where that man’s heart lies. I am so unsure about everything. I do not want to hurt anyone, and I would never forgive myself if I disappointed my father. I have already caused him such distress over the years with my rash behavior.”

“Your father is lovely. He would give the world to you on a platter if he could.”

“Aye, he would, but I don’t need the world. I just want someone to love and trust. Father has not spoken of it to me, but I am well aware of the gossip that went around about Captain Norrington and me initially after we started to court. I really do not give a lick what those vile people were saying, but the captain did not deserve to be slandered like that.”

“As tempting as it is to meddle, I cannot tell you what choice to make. Even if it was in order to protect a man that I know would die for my husband or me if it came to it. Nine years ago I found myself in a similar position. I felt completely torn between Andrew and another man. And all these years later, I still feel the pain of the decision that I made even though Andrew has made me happy and feel so deeply loved. As women, sometimes we have to make painful sacrifices. Even if their egos do not allow men to admit to the fact that we have such power over them, we have the capability of hurting them so deeply. In my case, I sacrificed the man I wanted in order not to hurt Andrew. I suppose that what I am saying is that you have to weigh the consequences of which path you want to choose. Knowing him as well as I do, Captain Norrington is very affectionate and has a sensitive side which is something most people do not get to see. As you say, his demeanor around you is puzzling. His actions do not match his words. But perhaps he senses your own hesitance to reciprocate his feelings. I do plead that if you feel that you cannot choose him, then you must end things sooner rather than later before he is too far gone.”

“I have always known that a woman in my position has expectations to meet and that they are not necessarily what I might want. I guess that although we are from different stations in life we share the same need to make personal sacrifices when it comes to matters of the heart. I have much to consider, and I thank you for your advice.”

“Miss Swann, whatever you choose, please do your best not to hurt James, if not for his sake, then for mine.”

It was then with that little phrase “then for mine” that a little candle flame of feminine intuition flickered to life in Elizabeth’s mind as she pondered in her heart, _“Mrs. Gillette must have had to choose the lieutenant over Captain Norrington, and although the pain lives in her heart, she is still happy at her husband’s side. But do I have the strength to do what she did? Can I choose James over William and learn to love him?”_

Knowing she was burdened bearing another secret, let alone one that could hurt someone she loved, Catherine could not help but to feel deeply troubled after her conversation with Elizabeth. As was her wont, in order keep herself distracted lest he sense something was wrong, Catherine threw herself into housework and to bedding Andrew as often as possible since, after all, they did mutually agree to vigorously make one more attempt at having children of their own. To her relief, her plan worked. Andrew never seemed suspicious that something was weighing on her mind. And then, finally, the preparations for James’ promotion ceremony took center stage for everyone that he knew and loved.

The day of the ceremony finally arrived early July on a sunny and hot, humid day. Upon arriving at James’ home in order to help provide him with moral support as he prepared himself, Andrew was slightly amused to find his friend a nervous wreck as he was usually the epitome of calm. James had already changed his shirt once having already soaked through the first one with sweat between the summer heat and his own anxiety. Usually kind to his staff, James may have nipped once or twice at his maids as they fussed about trying to get him to eat something. Andrew persuaded him to at least have a little bread and a banana to help calm his stomach.

After getting James out the door and sending him down to the fort, Andrew quickly returned home so that he and Catherine could arrive at the fort together. He relayed to her how uncharacteristically anxious James was while Nellie helped Catherine dress behind the screen. Catherine felt it was unnecessary and that he was spoiling her, but Andrew insisted that she get a new gown in the latest fashion to wear for the event. Having finished, Nellie excused herself and left. As Catherine stepped out from behind the screen, she could have sworn she could hear a low growl in Andrew’s throat.

“Is it alright?” Catherine asked as she smoothed the fabric.

“Mmm, I would be up your skirts right now if it were not for the fact that it would make us late,” he licked his lips.

“Oh, Andrew,” she felt herself blush as if she were but an inexperienced girl. “You look dashing in your full dress uniform. Although you would look better without that blasted wig. I do love the color of your hair.”

“You just like being able to pull on it when we’re coupled.”

Catherine could feel the sweat gathering on her skin as her arousal grew. “We better leave immediately or we will miss the ceremony entirely at this rate! But I am more than willing to pick up where we left off later when we get home.”

“Or we could sneak off at the fort and lock ourselves in an office where I could bend you over a desk and take you from behind.”

“Ugh, we’ll play it by ear! Quick, finish getting yourself sorted. The carriage should be here. I’ll be downstairs,” she tried to rush out of the room.

“Wait!” Andrew grabbed her by the arm and pulled her close kissing her deeply. “There, that will at least hold me over for now,” he smiled.

“Good! And now you have some of my powder on your nose, you naughty man,” she laughed before leaving the room.

The crowd that had gathered at Fort Charles were relieved that at least there was a sea breeze to give them some relief from the heat. Andrew escorted Catherine to where the other naval wives were sitting to watch the ceremony. Still feeling amorous and reluctant to part ways with her, Andrew whispered some sweet nothings in her ear and gave her a peck on her cheek before going to join his comrades with a grin on his face.

An older naval widow sitting with Mrs. Bracknell, a Mrs. Clayton with whom Catherine was acquainted with from church, leaned over and smiled commenting, “It does my heart good to see such devotion and tenderness in a lad even after years of marriage. Your lieutenant is a fine man.”

“Thank you, madam. I am truly blessed. Sometimes, like this afternoon, he makes me feel almost as if we’ve only just been married.”

“Oh!” the widow gasped.

Catherine blushed having realized how what she said sounded and apologized, “I’m sorry. That was improper.”

“No, not at all! You really are a lucky woman,” she gently elbowed Catherine as she and Mrs. Bracknell laughed.

“Mrs. Gillette, I would have thought by now you would have learned that we navy wives grow to have less scruples than other women,” Mrs. Bracknell explained. “I think it likely that our husbands are a bad influence on us. Besides, my husband also being a ginger, I can understand what you meant. They can be quite a handful.”

“In more ways than one,” Catherine joked causing Mrs. Bracknell to laugh some more. “Andrew is the one that taught me how to make naughty jokes in the first place!”

After leaving Catherine and greeting his comrades, Andrew sought out James. Having seen what he was like at home, he wanted to make sure James was coping as the ceremony was to start within the next fifteen minutes or so. He found him in his office. His coat, now decorated with the elaborate gold brocade signifying his new rank as commodore, was draped on his chair. His hat and wig were on his desk. James wiped off the sweat with his handkerchief and then rested his face in his hands heaving a deep sigh.

“Jamie, what has gotten in to you? This isn’t like you at all,” Andrew sat down in a chair on the other side of the desk.

“I don’t think that I can do this,” James shook his head.

“Nonsense, of course you can! You are Royal Navy through and through. Even when you sat for your lieutenant’s exam you were not this unsettled.”

“What if I let everyone down?”

“In your case, I think the better thing to ask is ‘what if I let myself down’? James, you are a natural born commander, and for what you do lack, you make up for it in study and downright hard work. You are the finest officer and man that I know. Catie thinks so, too, for what it’s worth.”

“She does?”

“Is your memory going bad already? You ninny, certainly she does! Why else did she go after that brood of vipers at the Bracknells’ party when they spoke ill of you?”

“Bless her, of course. I’m being a fool.”

“Now, I want you to take a deep breath, get dressed, and get yourself ready. You’ve made a mountain out of a molehill. Besides, Miss Swann is also out there waiting for you, and she’s made herself up quite special for your big day.”

“You know how much I hate social events.”

“I know, and it will be a bit harder as this entire event is focused on you. But we’re all here with you, and I know you will manage.”

Rallying himself with Andrew’s encouragement, James put his coat, wig, and hat back on and made his way to the center of Fort Charles for the ceremony. With the sound of the drums and fifes playing, James calmly marched out into the courtyard and made his way to where Governor Swann and his superior officers stood.

Grateful that she and the other women were too busy fanning themselves due to the heat of the blazing hot sun to notice, Catherine thought she felt her breath hitch slightly seeing James in his new dress uniform. Old widow Mrs. Clayton commented, “What a handsome man Commodore Norrington is. If only I was a young and eligible lady again, he would be a fine one to catch! Makes one wonder how he’s lasted so long as a bachelor. Perhaps he is a victim of a tragic love.” Catherine started to feel a bit dizzy.

Governor Swann presented James with his new sword. James had heard that it was of excellent craftsmanship, and he was very pleased as he removed it from its sheath and performed some maneuvers with it to get an idea of how well it handled. It was almost as if it were an extension of his own body.

“And what a capable and graceful swordsman! You know what they say about gentlemen that know how to handle their swords well,” Mrs. Clayton winked at Mrs. Bracknell.

Having sheathed his sword, James was then presented with a medal to signify his new rank as commodore. After a few words from Governor Swann and from one of the admiralty, much to James’ relief, and also to Catherine’s having had to listen to Mrs. Clayton’s remarks, the ceremony was over. Andrew, Theodore, and their comrades rushed to James’ side to heartily congratulate him and gave three cheers in his honor. Catherine could see Governor Swann joining them raising his fist in celebration with glee. Andrew then rushed over to retrieve Catherine so that she could also have a chance to congratulate James.

“Are you alright, Catie?” Andrew asked upon helping her up from her seat. “Your color is a bit off.”

“Yes, it’s just this sunlight. I’m afraid the heat is getting to me a bit,” she explained. “I feel a little dizzy, but I think after something to drink and a nibble and some shade that I will be fine.”

“Ah, well you’re in luck as there are some refreshments waiting for us all,” he had her tuck her arm in his and guided her to James.

“Mrs. Gillette, you look lovely today,” James smiled. Even though Andrew had been speaking of Miss Swann earlier, he could not help but to think looking at Catherine, _“Made herself up indeed.”_

“Thank you, it seems that my husband here likes to spoil me. My dress is apparently the latest fashion in London, although I am afraid the ladies that live there do not have to contend with the ferocity of the tropical sun like we do! I am starting to feel quite uncomfortable. And you look handsome in your new uniform. Be careful lest old widow Mrs. Clayton over there gets her hands on you! She was eyeing you up the entire ceremony!” she laughed. “Andrew and I are so proud of you, commodore.”

“I am blessed to have you both as friends,” he bowed slightly. “Today would not have happened if it were not for you and the love and support you have always given to me. It will always be my honor to lead, to serve, and to protect you both.”

“Aye, and we feel the same about you,” Andrew patted him on the back.

“Oh!” Catherine wobbled slightly but regained her balance. Andrew and James steadied her each grabbing an elbow.

“You are unwell,” James frowned.

“It’s only the heat. I’m positively boiling out here. You would think that by now after the years we have lived here that I would be accustomed to the summer weather, but alas, it appears that is not the case,” she sighed as Andrew waved her fan at her.

“I am going to take Catie away for a bit to get a little sustenance and try to get her cooled off,” Andrew smiled. “We will be back.”

Having had a cool drink and some fresh fruit in the shade of the fort’s small gathering hall, Catherine insisted that she was feeling better. But upon standing, she broke out into a cold sweat and lost her color again. “Ugh,” she huffed, “I am afraid that I may be coming down with one of my damned fevers. That, or Nellie was a little overenthusiastic in tying my stays this afternoon.”

“Perhaps it would be best if we were to go home,” Andrew had her sit back down.

“No, Drew, I wouldn’t want you to miss out on the rest of the celebrations. You should stay. I can manage at home. Although, I am very disappointed to be missing out on the possibility of having a little amorous adventure with you here at the fort,” she pouted.

“Well, knowing that you are up for it, maybe I will just have to start forgetting my lunch at home. You will just have to come down here to the fort with it lest I starve.”

“Your stomach clearly is not the only thing that has an appetite!”

After sending Catherine home to get out of her clothes and into her nightgown and rest, Andrew rejoined his comrades. Noticing James was not within their midst, he inquired as to where he had gone. Theo motioned with his head towards the battlements and winked. Not far from where Andrew stood, he saw James and Miss Swann conversing whilst overlooking the sea. Although very subtle, from James’ body language, Andrew could tell that he was once again very anxious. Full of curiosity, Andrew excused himself from his mates and moved a bit closer hoping he could eavesdrop on their conversation.

“I apologize if I seem forward, but I must speak my mind,” James continued. “This promotion throws into sharp relief that which I have not yet achieved: a marriage to a fine woman. You have become a fine woman, Elizabeth.”

 _“Is he doing what I think he’s doing?”_ Andrew felt the corner of his mouth turn upwards into a smirk.

“I can’t breathe,” Elizabeth barely managed to gasp and tried to steady herself as James turned his gaze to the sea.

“Yes, I’m a bit nervous myself,” James admitted completely oblivious to Elizabeth falling from the battlement.

“James!” Andrew shouted successfully shaking James from his reverie.

“Elizabeth?” he asked aloud as he realized that he was suddenly alone. Hearing a splash and seeing Elizabeth sinking beneath the surface of the water, James gasped, “Elizabeth! My God!” He started to shrug off his coat with every intention of jumping in after her.

Knowing that James would only succeed in killing himself, Andrew ran and stopped him, “The rocks! James, it’s a miracle she missed them!”

Feeling as if his heart was going to burst out of his chest, James reluctantly nodded before he made haste to get to the docks in hopes of saving her. Andrew, Governor Swann, and several marines ran not far behind him.

Later, after Miss Swann had been successfully rescued and her rescuer, a wanted pirate by the name of Captain Jack Sparrow, had been apprehended and locked in the prison at Fort Charles, Andrew finally had a moment alone with James to inquire how he was doing after all the excitement of the day.

Once again taking a seat across from James at his desk, Andrew asked, “Are you alright, Jamie? You look almost as pale as Catie did earlier. It has been quite an eventful day, hasn’t it?”

“It has,” James sighed and downed a tumbler of whiskey.

“Now don’t go giving yourself a headache by imbibing too much. Look on the bright side. Your ceremony went well, and we’ve managed to catch one of the crown’s most wanted pirates. Once Miss Swann has a chance to recover from her ordeal, I’m sure she will give you the answer you’re looking for.”

“She was rather quick to come to the defense of Sparrow.”

“Well, yes."

“I’m not a fool, Andrew!” he slammed the empty tumbler down on his desk causing Andrew to jump. “Elizabeth was well aware of what was being said about us before Governor Swann put her up to singing my praises. Before that, not once did she utter a word to defend me. Not once! Is my honor really of no worth? Is everything I have done for the crown, for society, and for her all for nought? And through her contention, she disrespected me in front of my men. Rash woman, it nearly cost her life.”

“One good deed is not enough to redeem a man of a lifetime of wickedness, indeed. Unfortunately, she had to learn that lesson the hard way. Nearly got her killed. She should come to you on her hands and knees begging for you to still have her,” Andrew scowled.

“Love is a curious thing. After what happened today, I should want nothing to do with her. And yet even now with how angry I am with her, I actually feel sick when I think of seeing her hitting the water and being utterly helpless to do anything to save her. I’m sorry for shouting, by the way. None of this is your fault.”

“There’s nothing to forgive, Jamie. It’s been a trying day for you. I only hope that she will be wiser after today, that all will blow over, and that you will soon have wedded bliss.”

“Speaking of wedded bliss, where is Catie? She did not bid me farewell which is unlike her.”

“Ah, she was becoming poorly either from a fever coming on or from that dress and the heat. I sent her home to get comfortable and rest. She was quite disappointed to have to leave so abruptly. I should be getting back to the house soon to see if she’s managing alright, but first I just wanted to make sure you were fine.”

“I thank you for your concern about my welfare. Governor Swann will be arriving within the hour to provide me with some company and update me on Elizabeth. I imagine he’s feeling a bit guilty at the moment, bless his soul. You better get home. I’ll see you in the morning. I will be praying for Catie’s health. The poor dear having to be plagued by those horrid fevers all these years.” After Andrew had taken his leave, James rubbed his temples feeling an oncoming tension headache. _“Must I always be the martyr when it comes to love? What did I ever do to deserve all of this? If only— Oh, Catherine.”_

Finding Catherine in her nightgown and wrapped in his banyan in the library, Andrew was happy to hear that she was feeling better than she was earlier, but alas, it did seem she was coming down with a bout of fevers once again. It had been quite a few months since the last spell, but Catherine was disappointed that this time it had to interfere with an important event in their dear friend’s life. After taking off his hat, wig, coat, and cravat, Andrew motioned for Catherine to move over and make room for him next to her. She, of course, wanted to hear of how the rest of the day went after her departure. 

“Well, it was a complete disaster,” Andrew threw himself onto the settee and pulled her close.

“Why do you say that? The ceremony was nice and went well despite James having a bout of nerves. Tis a shame that I missed most of the merrymaking afterwards. Damned fevers,” she fanned herself.

“There were no proper festivities. Catie,” he sat up a bit and sighed, “it’s quite bad. I’m worried for him.”

“What are you talking about, Drew? Speak plainly, please.”

“He did it. James finally had the gumption to do it. He proposed to Miss Swann on the battlements of the fort.”

“Oh God, what happened? Did she reject him?”

“I saw the entire thing. He was so nervous, bless him. Was too worried about saying things in just the right way rather than paying attention to her. She fainted and fell off the battlements into the sea! I tell you it was miracle that she missed the rocks. I had to stop him as he was about to dive in after her. Fool surely would have bashed his head in. So we made all haste down to the docks to attempt a rescue only to find her in nought but her soaked through shift with a filthy man standing over her holding her stays. Thank God she was alive!”

“You cannot actually be serious,” Catherine’s jaw dropped.

“Oh, there’s more,” he shook his head. “James immediately discovered that the man is branded. Turns out to be none other than one of the empire’s most wanted pirates Captain Jack Sparrow. How he came to be on that list beats me as the man must be the most shite pirate I have ever come across. Anyway, after physically threatening Miss Swann’s life, Sparrow made an escape causing us to make chase. He was thwarted by none other than Mr. Brown the blacksmith. Ugh, what a fiasco!”

“You’re right. It was a disaster.”

“Elizabeth seems unharmed other than having had quite a fright. To an outsider, James looks the picture of calm, but I know he’s beside himself. She has not given him an answer as of yet, which is somewhat understandable. He’s really struggling with doubts right now. Governor Swann is meeting with him now probably attempting to console him.”

“After everything we have done to help rehabilitate James’s reputation and to help them! Stupid woman!”

“No one has openly said it, but she almost has no choice in the matter now. She is ruined. Every one of our men saw her in a state of undress.”

"But that will be of no reassurance to James. He would only want her answer to be unconditional.”

“Catherine, maybe we were wrong. Maybe we should have told him not to pursue her,” he put his head in his hands. “He told me of his concerns about her coldness before, and yet I egged him on anyway. Now she argued with him to allow a criminal go free disrespecting him and the law in front of the other men. Poor James, she has never once come to his defense.”

“Heaven knowns that I am equally at fault. When I went with her to see the garden at the governor’s mansion, Elizabeth asked me for advice and expressed feeling hesitant about James. I felt as if she understood what I said, but I’m starting to think that she did not. What do you think is going to happen, Andrew? I don’t think that I could forgive myself if James is hurt by her.”

“Perhaps we should not have allowed ourselves to become so invested in this, but ultimately they are both adults and have to make their own decisions. We should step back and let things play out without interfering further if possible. And if the worst is to happen, then we will need to be there to help James pick up the pieces. God, I do not envy him at all right now. Thank you for having mercy on me when I proposed,” he smiled and started kissing her neck.

In short time, Catherine and Andrew soon felt their flames of arousal from earlier in the day rekindling and found it a welcome distraction from their concern for their beloved James. Ensuring that she was agreeable in light of her fever, Andrew gathered his discarded clothing and followed Catherine upstairs.

“What was that?” Catherine asked as a satiated Andrew rolled off of her after a rather quick session of lovemaking.

“Hmm?” he mumbled lazily still coming down from his climax.

“Shh!” she put her hand over his mouth. “Listen!” A loud boom echoed off in the distance.

Andrew scrambled and hopped out of bed throwing open their bedroom window and sticking his head out to listen better despite being in the nude. Another couple of booms. “Cannon fire!” He immediately began to dash about getting dressed. “There would not be any drills scheduled for this time of night and certainly not without me knowing about it. We’re under attack,” he hopped slightly pulling up his breeches. “I must get down to the fort with haste.”

“Oh!” Catherine jumped up and joined Andrew in quickly getting dressed.

“What are you doing?”

“Well, if I end up having to defend myself, I won’t be doing it with bare breasts and ankles all the way!”

Under any other circumstances, Andrew might have burst out laughing at her remark. In fact, the next day when he had a chance to reflect on it, he could not help but to have a good chuckle. For the time being, however, he was far to focused on getting himself sorted, ensuring her safety, and getting to the fort. Thankfully the Gillettes’ neighbors just down the road had an open offer at the use of their horse in the event of an emergency whether it be personal or civil in nature, so it would not take Andrew long to arrive at Fort Charles.

Having quickly reviewed how to use his pistol and securing her cutlass around her waist, Andrew instructed Catherine, “Put out the fires and lamps lest the smoke or light draw anyone’s attention to the house. Stay still and quiet as long as possible. If you think the house is about to be set upon, hide yourself in the kitchen pantry as there is nothing of value worth plundering in there. And do not engage the enemy unless you are discovered. Do you understand me, Catie?”

“Yes, Andrew, I understand,” she replied calmly despite tears starting to gather in her eyes as her hands trembled slightly.

“My brave heart,” he smiled and kissed her. “I have no doubt you are capable of defending yourself.”

“I will pray for your safety.”

He nodded, “I will return as soon as I can,” and dashed out the front door leaving her to do as he instructed.

 _“Could this day have gotten any worse?”_ she frowned as she put out the kitchen fire. _“It appears that Commodore Norrington must be tried by fire to be found worthy of his new rank.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so we see the beginning of James' world starting to crumble...


	16. Curse of the Black Pearl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some dialogue borrowed from the first film as it is relevant.

Having learned of Miss Swann’s abduction by the pirates that had attacked and set forth upon Port Royal on what was a bleak night, Andrew could not help but to feel a sense of dread having left Catherine at home alone. While distraught over Elizabeth and needing support from Andrew, James knew it was best to let him have the opportunity to go home and check on Catherine’s welfare. Grateful to have their neighbor’s horse at his disposal, Andrew urged the steed onwards as his imagination began to run wild.

 _“What if they had a second ship lying in wait for reinforcement, found our little cove, and used our footpath? It would have led them directly to the house! How foolish I was to let sentiment lead me to make that path without considering all possibilities!”_ Andrew’s brow furrowed as he started making unfounded conclusions.

Upon arriving home, all seemed quiet in the early morning sunlight. Noticing some smaller shoe prints in the dirt and a broken window pane in the front of the house, Andrew started to feel panicked as he burst into the front door and began searching for his wife calling out her name. He quickly discovered that nothing within the house seemed to be disturbed, but she was nowhere to be found either. Feeling a slight movement of air, he followed it and found the back door wide open swinging in the breeze.

 _“No!”_ he swallowed feeling a lump in this throat forming. “Catie!” he ran out the door frantically calling her name repeatedly. He then noticed the branches one of Catherine’s flower bushes rustling and went to investigate. Gently pulling back the branches, he found Catherine stirring from her sleep. “Oh darling, I am so relieved!” he helped her up and embraced her tightly. “I had feared that you were taken away.” He felt her forehead and noted she was still feverish. “What are you doing out here in your state? You’re burning up,” he began to pick leaves and debris out of her dew-moistened hair.

“I think that I let my imagination get the best of me,” she replied looking a bit embarrassed. “At first after you left, while understandably afraid, I was quite ready to face any sort of scoundrel that decided to set foot in the house without welcome. But, as the cannon fire continued and I stayed still and quiet as you had commanded, I swore that I could hear shouting and voices coming closer and closer. Then I heard one of the windows shattering, and at that point I lost my nerve. I don’t know why I did it, but at the time, it felt like a good idea to flee and hide in the garden rather than the pantry as you had told me to do,” she managed to smile at herself. “I’m sorry for disobeying your orders, lieutenant.”

“You did nothing wrong as I also just now let my imagination take over, sailor,” he smiled back and tidied her hair. “You see, they’ve taken Miss Swann, and so I panicked thinking you might have been abducted, too.”

Catherine gasped, “My God! Poor James!”

“James is the bravest man I know as we have faced death together more times than I could count. But when Governor Swann told the two of us this news in the privacy of James’ office, he collapsed into his chair stricken speechless. Bless him, he was able to compose himself rather quickly, and we began to plan a rescue mission. I should probably be getting back to the fort soon now that I know you are safe.”

“Andrew, you were up all night and in battle,” she gently stroked his bruised knuckles that she just then noticed. “At least have a little to eat and sit a few minutes with me before you go back. You can tell me more about everything.”

Feeling a bit torn, Andrew agreed and they went inside the house where he sat at the table and rested his head as Catherine quickly gathered some food for him to have a bit of a breakfast. After she sat down, Andrew sat up and continued, “Thankfully, we may have some information to help us formulate a plan and have a potential heading, although James has his concerns about the source. Mr. Turner came to the fort and made quite a scene. He insists that we strike a deal with that pirate Sparrow as he knew the ship that attacked last night was called the _Black Pearl_.”

“What help would that be? The pirates that attacked last night clearly are not allied with the man as they left him behind!” Catherine rolled her eyes.

“That’s exactly what James said, and quite a temper that Turner has! He buried a hatchet into the table with James’ response. James pulled him aside and gave him a good talking to for it. It’s now clear that Turner undoubtedly was a bad influence on Miss Swann.”

“The _Black Pearl_. Why do I feel like I have heard of that ship before?”

“All sorts of stories have been floating around about it in these parts for years, so I’m sure it’s come up in any number of conversations at naval gatherings we have attended. It’s been said that it has been attacking ships and settlements regardless of what flag they’re under, so all of Europe’s powers are keen to be known as the one that finally captured that ship and her crew.”

“Now I remember! Years ago in one of James’ letters, he mentioned that when they crossed the Atlantic and found Turner in the shipwreck, Elizabeth claimed to have seen a ship with black sails off in the distance.”

“Ah, right you are! Now I must admit that I feel a sense of unease. Would it be a stretch to assume that Turner and the _Black Pearl_ have some kind of connection?”

“Hard to say.”

“Well, anyway, the possibility of us setting sail with little notice today is high, and who knows how long we will be at sea. I feel awful at the thought of leaving you behind in your current state and after the events of last night,” Andrew frowned.

“It will not be the first time you have been away while I have been unwell, and it likely will not be the last. Besides, James needs you now more than ever. I truly fear for him. You know how he hides his emotions. I worry that someday it will break him.”

“Indeed, he’s already got quite a headache this morning.”

Pacing in his office, James had given his orders for some of the men to begin to prepare to set sail while he was thinking over their plans to pursue the _Black Pearl_ and rescue Elizabeth. Feeling a bit selfish in wanting to take him away from Catherine so quickly given that she was ill, he silently hoped that Andrew would return soon as he direly needed a friendly face and some company. He felt as if a rat were trying to gnaw its way out of his stomach. With Governor Swann’s insistence, James attempted to eat some breakfast but immediately pushed his plate away as his nausea threatened to overwhelm him. He felt guilty as Weatherby was the one giving him comfort when it should have been the other way around.

After Andrew returned and spent a few moments with James providing him with reassurance, he went with a couple men to finish inspecting the _Interceptor_ to ensure she was not damaged in the attack and ready to set sail. James and Theodore remained at the docks to review their plan and await the arrival of Governor Swann who would not be deterred from joining them onboard in their efforts to find Elizabeth.

Noticing some commotion in the bay, Theodore looked into his spyglass to get a better look. It was then that he noticed Andrew in a longboat practically jumping up and down shouting. “Commodore!” Theo directed James’ attention to Andrew.

“Sir, they’ve taken the _Dauntless_! They’ve taken the ship! Sparrow and Turner, they’ve taken the _Dauntless_!” Andrew shouted and pointed.

James clenched his jaw in anger. “Rash, Turner, too rash. That is without a doubt the worst pirate I have ever seen,” he felt snarky at seeing the two men fumbling about with the sails and ropes.

“Bring her around! Bring her around!” Andrew shouted at the men rowing his longboat in an attempt to try to make chase and re-board the ship.

Immediately, James had the men on the _Interceptor_ set out to catch up to the commandeered vessel. Noted for her speed, it was not a difficult feat for the _Interceptor_ to accomplish. “Search every cabin, every hold down to the bilges, men!” James commanded upon coming alongside the _Dauntless_. After he and all his men boarded and began their search, James noted Turner and Sparrow swinging over to the _Interceptor_. He quickly ordered his men to return to the _Interceptor_ where the fugitives now stood. But alas, the _Interceptor_ was already too far away for the men to swing across. 

“Sir?” Theo looked to James for orders.

“Set top sails and clear up this mess,” James snapped at him.

“With the wind at quarter astern, we won’t catch them.”

“We don’t need to catch them. Just get them in the range of the long nines.”

“Hands, come about. Run out the guns!” Theo ordered. He then questioned, “We open fire on our own ship sir?”

“I’d rather see her at the bottom of the ocean than in the hands of a pirate.”

“Commodore!” the helmsman called out. “He’s disabled the rudder chain, sir!”

The situation worsened as Andrew found the _Dauntless_ bearing down on his longboat. The ship being too fast for them to row away, all that could be done was for Andrew to order, “Abandon ship!” James watched as his best friend dove into the water as the ship ran over his longboat with a sickening crunch.

“That’s got to be the best pirate I’ve ever seen,” Theo voiced his admiration.

“So it would seem. We best retrieve Andrew. We will have to set sail once the rudder chain is repaired.” He sighed, “We’re losing precious time.”

“Of course, sir.” It was then that Theo noticed the subtle hint of worry in James’ countenance. “I’m sorry, sir. We’ll do everything we can to bring her safely home.” Having retrieved him out of the water, Theo pulled Andrew aside before he could leave the docks to express concern about James. “Andrew, he’s never been like this under pressure. Maybe someone else should lead the rescue mission. He was prepared to open fire on the _Interceptor_ and sink her rather than allow Sparrow to take her. How reckless! He’s too emotionally compromised.”

“Most of the fleet are at sea, and there’s no one else senior enough to take command as the admiral that was here left immediately after the ceremony yesterday. And this is the governor’s daughter we’re talking about here. While I agree with you, who else can do it? Me? Surely not,” Andrew shook his head. “I’m only a lieutenant.”

“You might not think you could do it, but I do. Perhaps we can persuade James to grant you an emergency field promotion to lieutenant commander of the _Dauntless_ ,” Theo shrugged his shoulders. “What else can we do? I don’t have it in me to challenge him.”

“Thankfully, I do,” Andrew grinned. “I have no problem confronting him even if it is in front of the other men. It’s not been often, but I have done it before. In the meantime, I’m just going to have to do my best to soothe his mood. He’s been a wreck since yesterday. You should have seen him before the ceremony. Although, perhaps his bout of nerves was more to do with proposing to Miss Swann rather than the ceremony itself.”

“I must be frank in that you know full well how things are in the navy. He may not always have you at his side to help. What then?”

“He managed before without me, and if we are unlucky enough to get separated, then he will have to learn to do it again. I have faith in him. He needs you to have faith in him, too.”

With an estimated repair time of two to three hours for the rudder chain of the _Dauntless_ , this gave Andrew the opportunity to return home and change his clothes. This time he made sure to stop and quickly express his gratitude to his neighbors for use of their horse before finishing his journey home. Finding Nellie and Catherine in the kitchen, he grumbled, “We likely set sail in three hours time.”

"Andrew, dear, what has happened to you?" Catherine asked and stifled a laugh as a very damp and grumpy looking Andrew stood in the doorway.

“Captain Jack Sparrow and that brat William Turner! That's what has happened to me," he sneered as he threw his ruined wig on the table. “We barely made it out of the longboat with our lives," he noted as he plopped down into a chair and told the tale of the commandeering of the _Interceptor_. “Bad enough they aimed a loaded pistol in my face.”

"Oh, Andrew, poor thing, you have had such a stressful time," Catherine tried to soothe him by starting to rub his shoulders.

"James is terribly upset. It is bad enough that Miss Swann has been kidnapped, but now Sparrow has escaped with Turner's help and we have lost the _Interceptor_ to them. Theo already expressed to me his concern that James is cracking under pressure. If it were not so dangerous, I would be tempted to take you with us merely to help deal with him,” he patted Catherine's hand as he turned and smiled to her. “He would never lose is temper in front of you, and he always seems to respond to your gentleness.”

“Well, we could always resort to your plan of dressing me up as a midshipman and enlisting me in the guise of being a boy, but we already determined that it would likely fail,” she winked. “Now, come on, let's get you out of this wet uniform.You're still dripping here and there, and you wouldn't want Nellie to get angry with you for ruining her clean floors, now would you?" she asked as she took his hand.

"No, after all I had to put up with today, I certainly don't need Nellie scolding me endlessly," he noted.

“Hey! I’m right here, you know!” Nellie protested with a grin. “Sir, if you were not so naughty all the time, neither madam nor I would have to scold you so often.”

“I’m afraid that by now I am beyond the point of ever possibly being reformed,” he stood up and stretched a little before walking with Catherine hand-in-hand up the stairs to their bedroom.

As Catherine helped Andrew out of his uniform, she suddenly asked, "Do you really feel that James loves Miss Swann?” carrying on the topic of their discussion the previous night.

"Why do you ask?"

"I was just curious. I know that you have mentioned that he has said that he loves her, but now with her honor in ruins, I think he is going to be unlucky enough to be stuck with her whether he does or not. I think he is going to be hurt by this either way.”

"Yes, I must agree with you. I am afraid that she will break his heart in the end either by being a miserable wife or worse yet being unfaithful. I am under the impression that she fancies that Turner lad. The boy sure seems to be distraught over her abduction.”

“She mentioned to me that she had feelings for another but did not divulge to me his name. She did not know if he felt the same. It’s becoming clearer that it’s likely Turner.”

“Poor James, I sometimes wonder if he has missed his opportunity to marry well. For all these years, he has put his career first, but look what it has gotten him: an empty home and a heart full of love with no one to give it to. Or soon to be someone who will not give it back to him. Over the years there were so many beautiful women that would have been willing to give him the love he needed and the home he wanted, but he was too focused on his career to mind them at all."

“Very true," Catherine agreed and thought about how she was the first of those women.

"I certainly do not regret putting my career second," Andrew continued. "If I hadn't, I would never have married such a fine and beautiful woman as you, love," he said making Catherine blush slightly as he took her in his arms and nuzzled the tip of her nose with his own.

"You may only be a lieutenant and not a captain or a commodore or an admiral, Drew, but know that you are loved, and that is what matters the most," she whispered before resting her head on his now bare chest as she embraced him.

"Aye, that it does," he sighed.

“How about I prepare you a nice hot bath, and while you’re soaking in the tub I’ll make sure Nellie has started getting something proper put together for you to eat. Then I’ll come up and join you,” she grinned.

“I like the way you think, my dear,” he grinned back.

Having had a quick frolic with Catherine in the bath, a good wash, and fresh, dry clothes, Andrew felt enlivened and ready to tackle James’ foul mood and to set out to rescue Miss Swann. Between the presence of Andrew and Governor Swann, who despite his worry for his daughter seemed quite excited to have an adventure at sea of his own, James seemed to regain control of his emotions for the time being. Theo, at least, was relieved that he seemed to be himself again. That night as sleep seemed to elude James, he wandered the decks of the _Dauntless_ hoping to see a glimpse of the _Black Pearl_ on the horizon or at least come across someone that had seen her. Of course, his own thoughts plagued him.

_“What if they have violated her or sold her into prostitution? What if they have maimed or murdered her? What if she is so traumatized that she cannot cope? What if she finds that she likes their company and refuses to return? I would not put that past her one bit.”_

James may have been one that most found difficult to read as he came across as very reserved, but he was no fool when it came to matters of the heart. He looked over at Andrew who was still in the jolly mood he had when they set sail. Only one or two mornings over the years did Andrew let slip that his particularly good mood was because of the satisfaction he found in his marriage bed the previous night. And thus, James had been able to develop the sense of knowing when Andrew and Catherine had been intimate. He once again felt envious of what his friends had particularly in light of his own precarious situation with Elizabeth.

 _“Andrew once described feeling a sense of hunger for Catie. I think that I understand now. I must be honest that I have never felt that towards Elizabeth. Maybe someday I will. I have only felt hunger for my best friend’s wife. And now perhaps I am finally being punished for it. For ‘behold, ye have sinned against the Lord: and be sure your sin will find you out.’ But hopefully God will be merciful in that Elizabeth will be found safe soon and we can be married. Then it will all be over with and I can somehow atone myself if at least in being physically faithful to my wife._ ”

At some point in the night, James succumbed to exhaustion and fell asleep in his chair in the captain’s quarters. Awakening with quite a stiff neck, he rubbed his eyes and stretched noting that it was morning.

Without knocking, Theo suddenly burst through the door, “Sir, we’ve espied smoke coming from one of the old rumrunner islands off in the distance! Your orders?”

“Change heading for the island at once,” James sleepily commanded. “We must investigate anything out of the ordinary. I will join you on deck once I have refreshed myself.”

As they got closer to the island, James felt sick as he saw through his spyglass Elizabeth in nought but her shift waving at them from the shore in the company of Sparrow who was also in a state of undress. Coming close enough to drop anchor, feeling a mixture of feelings, James elected to remain onboard while Governor Swann and Theo went out in a couple of the longboats to retrieve them. As the longboat containing the Swanns was hoisted high enough for them to come aboard the _Dauntless_ , James could already hear them arguing.

“But we’ve got to save Will!” Elizabeth pouted.

“No, you’re safe now. We will return to Port Royal immediately, not go gallivanting after pirates!” the governor huffed as he tried with futility to cover her with is coat.

“Then we condemn him to death.”

“The boy’s fate is regrettable, but then, so was his decision to engage in piracy.”

“To rescue me! To prevent anything from happening to me!”

Seeking to take advantage of the heated moment, Sparrow joined in the conversation. “If I may be so bold as to inject my professional opinion. The _Pearl_ was listing near to scuppers after the battle. It’s very unlikely she’ll be able to make good time. Think about it,” he got uncomfortably close to James’ face, “The _Black Pearl_. The last real pirate threat in the Caribbean, mate. How can you pass that up?”

James quickly looked at Elizabeth and at Theo who was just handed a set of irons by Andrew to arrest the pirate before answering, “By remembering that I serve others, Mr. Sparrow, not only myself,” and walking away.

“Commodore, I beg you, please do this for me,” Elizabeth chased after him before adding, “as a wedding gift!”

“Elizabeth, are you accepting the Commodore’s proposal?” Governor Swann smiled.

“I am.”

“A wedding! I love weddings! Drinks all around!” Sparrow exclaimed before lowering his head and holding out his hands. “I know. Clap him in irons, right?”

James scowled, “Mr. Sparrow, you will accompany these fine men to the helm and provide us with the bearing to Isla de Muerta. You will then spend the rest of the voyage contemplating all possible meanings of the phrase ‘silent as the grave.’ Do I make myself clear?”

“Thank you,” Elizabeth caught up to James and linked her arm with his.

“Elizabeth, Miss Swann, I find myself worried that your answer is perhaps less than sincere,” he hung his head sadly.

“I would not give my word lightly.”

“I know, but is it so wrong for me to wish it given unconditionally?”

“It is not a condition. It is a request. Your answer would not change mine. You are a fine man, James.”

Being the first time she complimented him directly, James could not help but to smile at her. “You may seclude yourself in my cabin,” he offered. “I'm afraid we do not have any ladies' clothing aboard.”

“Then I can wear men's clothing,” she insisted.

“That would hardly be proper.”

“Well, I am not going to stay hidden in some cabin, or I suppose it's going to be heaving bosoms and bare ankles for the remainder of the voyage!”

James could not help but to laugh a little at her response being grateful that at least she had a sense of humor. “Elizabeth, I know that I may not be your first choice, but I will do everything I can to make our marriage a happy one. I will do what I can to accommodate your peculiar tastes.”

“James, you may not be my first choice, but in the end, you are my choice. And that’s what matters most, doesn’t it?” she smiled.

“Yes, I suppose it does,” he smiled back.

 _“I understand Mrs. Gillette now. He seems quite happy, much happier than when we were courting. I only hope that I can be equally happy at his side someday,”_ she thought to herself as James held her hand and gently stroked it with his thumb.

Having been busy overseeing Sparrow as he instructed the helmsman and navigator in making their heading to Isla de Muerta, Andrew did not properly have a chance to have a word with James until late afternoon when Theo took over their shared duties. Giving the Swanns his cabin for privacy, James had borrowed Andrew’s to try and get some quiet rest before the ensuing battle. Despite the happy news, Andrew could tell James still looked worn and worried.

“Congratulations, friend!” Andrew sat next to James on his cot and patted him on the back. “I knew everything would work out for you in the end.”

“Yes, it seems so, and yet I feel uneasy," James replied glumly. “I do not know why. I thought that I would feel better having finally received her answer.”

“Well, perhaps you're just overthinking things. Time to put the past behind you and look forward to the what is to come. May your days together be happy and full!”

“When we arrive at Isla de Muerta, I want you to stay on board and lock Elizabeth in my quarters. She may now be my fiancee, but I do not yet trust her not to be rash. It would be far too dangerous for her to have a lapse in judgment and attempt to help in our rescue of Mr. Turner. There’s something that seems different about these pirates that makes the situation feel particularly menacing.”

“Wouldn’t you rather stay here and protect her?”

“And face her wrath for locking her away?” James snorted. “I think not.”

“Well, if you’re marrying her, you better get used to it,” Andrew laughed. “I wonder if she’ll give you a good swat like Catie has done to me from time to time.”

“While we have made jest of it, I have a hard time actually picturing Catie going after you as you say. She is so gentle.”

“Jamie, you have only witnessed a fraction of how angry she can get! But be encouraged, because I have found that the angrier she gets, it’s even nicer when we reconcile,” he winked and elbowed James coaxing a small smile from his lips. “There, see, you’ll be feeling better soon enough once we get back to Port Royal and this whole ordeal is over!”

As the _Dauntless_ approached Isla de Muerta and what seemed to be a deserted _Black Pearl_ sitting anchored in the cove outside the cave entrance, James devised a plan of action with Andrew, Theo, and the highest ranking marine. Governor Swann listened in out of interest. Once all were in agreement with the plan, Sparrow was retrieved from the ship’s brig and loaded onto a longboat with James who would lead the attack with the support of the marines. Andrew and Theo stayed behind to mind the ship.

After explaining to Governor Swann what James’ wishes were regarding Elizabeth and what was best for her safety, the governor assented, and Andrew proceeded to try to persuade her to cooperate. He was quickly met with her defiance. Looking to Governor Swann who nodded in permission, Andrew and Theo each took her by an arm and dragged her to the captain’s quarters gently plopping her inside. “Sorry, but it’s for your own safety,” Andrew explained.

“Coward! The commodore ordered? I have to tell him! The pirates! They’re cursed! They cannot be killed!” she shouted.

Andrew, who had only ever been respectful of women, felt a bit stung by being called a coward, so he could not help but to respond with sarcasm. “Don’t worry, miss, he’s already been informed of that,” he smirked. “A little mermaid flopped up on deck and told him the whole story.” As he walked away hearing her muffled protests through the door, he thought she was absolutely batty from getting too much sun on the island. _“Cursed pirates my arse!”_ he thought.

A bit later as the naval operation was well underway, Theo shouted “Andrew, who are they?” and pointed to a solitary longboat approaching them with which appeared to contain a couple of women.

“Yoo-hoo!” one of the women waved her fan at them giggling.

Andrew pulled out his spyglass to try to get a better look feeling amused at what looked like a very poor attempt by the women to flirt with the men on the _Dauntless_. _“Where on earth have they come from? My word, poor things sure are homely,”_ he thought. _“One is bearded and the other looks like she’s wasting away from consumption. Wait a minute.”_ The two women began arguing and wrestling about, and dropping their parasols being exposed to the moonlight, they immediately turned into two beings that appeared to be like they were dead and rotting but somehow still alive and sentient. Andrew gasped dropping his spyglass as one of the beings shot a pistol at him with the bullet just missing him and knocking his hat off of his head.

At that point, Andrew felt as if all of hell broke loose. Literally. The ship was quickly overwhelmed by a whole swarm of these rotting men who had managed to sneak aboard while their crossdressing mates had provided a distraction. The men of the _Dauntless_ , well tested in battle against pirates, fought bravely but fell one by one to the pirates’ blades. One man, thankfully, with his dying breath had the sense to ring the ship’s bell to get the attention of James and his longboats full of marines to get reinforcements.

Hearing the bell and noting the sound of battle, James ordered, “Make for the ship! Move!” Finally boarding the _Dauntless_ , James and his marines leapt into battle. Despite his adeptness with the pistol and sword, James quickly found that even when delivering what should be fatal blows, the pirates simply would not die. Seeing Andrew in danger as he was disarmed and being hemmed in by the enemy, James was desperate to reach his friend and defend him. Losing hope, he stabbed one of the pirates in desperation. This time, however, he found the man actually started to bleed from his chest before collapsing in a heap on the deck dead from his mortal wound.

The crew of the _Dauntless_ rallied themselves and soon had the upper hand now that the pirates were again of real mortal flesh and blood. To James’ relief, someone had thrown Andrew a sword, and he had rejoined the battle with vigor. Finally, the few pirates that were left surrendered pitifully requesting parley.

“The ship is ours, gentlemen!” James declared.

“Huzzah!” the crew began to cheer. Emerging from the captain’s quarters, Governor Swann began shaking hands with the men and joining them in their cheers of victory.

“She was actually telling the truth,” Andrew joined up with James. “Miss Swann put up a right fight when Theo and I were locking her up, and she insisted that the pirates could not be killed. I wrote her off as addled in the head. I suppose that I will have to apologize now.”

“What did you say to her?” James inquired.

“Oh, just said that a mermaid already told you all about it,” Andrew grimaced slightly but smiled when James began to laugh.

“A little mermaid indeed, lieutenant. Did she have red hair?”

“Oh yes, sir, she most certainly did,” Theo joined them. “She was a snarky little Irish mermaid that does nothing but get herself into trouble!”

“Speaking of getting into trouble, how is it that your fiancee, whom we locked away in your quarters, is out in that longboat with Turner and Sparrow?” Andrew pointed out grateful to change the subject of their discussion to something else other than him.

“I suppose that I will have to leave her to explain that, but at least she appears to be unharmed. Once the prisoners are secured, the dead and injured men are tended to, and we have prepared the _Pearl_ to be towed, we can finally head home,” James looked as if a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders.

While she knew that it could be quite a while until Andrew returned, Catherine could not help but to occasionally go to her and Andrew’s spot on the hill and use the spyglass to look at the horizon hoping to get a glimpse of the _Dauntless_. Grateful that her latest bout of fever had quickly resolved itself, she had just spent about an hour or so this particular morning looking for signs of the warship. Satisfied that there was no impending return for the moment, she got up from the bench to go home and was greeted by one of their neighbors, Mr. Johnson, and his son.

“Morning, Mrs. Gillette, hope you are well. My boy has something to say to you,” Mr. Johnson pushed the lad forward. “Go on.”

“Mrs. Gillette, I’m sorry for breaking your window. One of my mates dared me to do it, and I kinda figured that maybe the lieutenant would come on out and scold me for it. I didn’t know he was busy fighting and protecting us from the pirates. I didn’t mean to cause trouble. It’s just that I want to join the navy when I’m old enough, and I thought that maybe he could tell me all about it. After I did it, I felt quite silly. Why would he want to be my friend after breaking his window? I’m sorry. I truly am!”

“Oh lad, you gave me quite a fright that night!” Catherine laughed. “I thought you were one of the pirates. But do not fret, you are forgiven. I’m sure the lieutenant would be happy to tell you about the navy, and he might even show you one of the ships if you behave yourself and mind obeying your parents and elders.”

“That would be delightful, madam. I promise to be good,” the lad smiled. “What’s the black thing out in the distance?” he pointed at the horizon.

Catherine looked once again through the spyglass at the horizon and found that she could now see the _Dauntless_ towing a black ship with black sails behind her. “They did it! They captured the pirate ship the _Black Pearl_. What a pleasant surprise!”

Desperate to learn if Miss Swann had been rescued and if she managed to give James an answer, Catherine made her way to the fort to wait for the ships to dock. It took some time, but they finally arrived. She waited at the end of the dock hoping Andrew would disembark soon. Seeing him, she waved and smiled. Usually she felt as if she was the impatient one when he returned from time away at sea, but this time it was Andrew that ran as soon as he saw her.

“My Catie,” Andrew squeezed her tightly openly shedding a couple of tears.

“Andrew, darling, what happened?” she rubbed his back to soothe him.

“This time I truly thought that I would not make it back to you. You will likely find my tale of what happened difficult to believe.”

“I want to hear it either way.”

“Theo kindly offered to deal with matters down here. Let’s go home so I can rest and tell you.”

After having a small meal and getting comfortable, Andrew relayed to Catherine his tale of how they found Miss Swann and Mr. Sparrow on a rumrunner island and of the crew of the _Dauntless_ and their clash with undead pirates from the _Black Pearl_. Catherine listened intently as she stroked his hair and could feel him shudder ever so slightly as he described the ghastly crew and how he nearly lost his life.

“I believe you, Andrew. I truly do,” Catherine reassured him when he finished.

“You do?”

“While certainly not as frightening of an experience as yours, I have had my own brush with the supernatural. Out of curiosity, I once met an Obeah woman at the edge of town as someone recommended her for medicinal remedies. And when I went to see her again, it was like she disappeared into thin air and never existed. Her hut was gone and the ground was undisturbed as if nothing had ever been built there. No one knew what or who I was talking about. Gave me quite a chill up my spine, and now I know better to avoid getting involved in such matters. So a crew of pirates being changed into immortal corpses by cursed Aztec gold does not seem a stretch to me,” she explained leaving out the specific details about her experience with Tia Dalma.

“Tis a strange world we live in, is it not?”

“In an odd way, it is a bit satisfying to have had our suspicions confirmed about William Turner having a connection to the _Black Pearl_. And if Elizabeth had not stolen his medallion when they were children, she would never have found herself in the position she was in the first place. Typical. And it was all left to James to deal with it. While I am glad that she has had the sense to accept his proposal, I am also worried that she will ultimately lead him to his ruin as now he will be the one responsible for the scrapes she gets herself into.”

“You probably will not like what I am about to say as you are not fond of her, but perhaps you should seek to be a good influence to Miss Swann. With her father being a statesman, she has no experience or idea as to what being a naval wife will be like. Sure she will have her maid and James’ staff at her disposal, but at the end of the day what she will need are friends that can give her womanly advice and keep her from getting lonely. It’s the loneliness compounded with unhappiness that poses a danger leading to a wife to wander. It will be up to James to do his best to make her happy, but it’s up to the rest of the naval family to try to keep her from getting lonely.”

“Husband, I fear you read my mind in that I feel it’s her loneliness that would pose the most danger and put her at risk in seeking comfort in the arms of another. Yes, I do not like her, but if at least for James’ sake, I will take your words to heart and do my best to befriend her. And what of Mr. Turner? His father was a pirate and now he himself has committed acts of piracy.”

“Governor Swann said he will have a good think on what to do about him and come to a decision by this evening. While what he did was wrong and against the law, his heart was in the right place. His intentions were not malicious, and he did all that he could to protect Miss Swann. And he has not previously done anything unlawful, so I cannot see Weatherby having the poor boy hanged tomorrow morning with Sparrow. If he sets him free, I do hope the lad has the sense to leave Port Royal lest he cause any trouble for James and Elizabeth. Turns out his skills in the smithy outshine even Mr. Brown’s now, so he could easily set up shop anywhere and do well for himself.”

“May I attend the execution tomorrow? It’s nothing but curiosity in wanting to see this legendary Captain Jack Sparrow with my own eyes even if it is unfortunately at the end of his mortal life.”

“You may if it is what you wish,” Andrew nodded. “Despite the short notice, I expect there will be quite a turn out. Seems Sparrow is one of those sorts that people either love him or hate him. In some parts, he’s a bit of a folk hero. He was an honorable man once. Went up against Lord Beckett of the East India Trading Company by freeing a cargo hold of slaves.”

“I know our anti-slavery views are not shared by many right now, but nice to know there are other like-minded individuals out there even if they are on the other side of the law.”

“Beckett branded Sparrow personally. I would say much of the admiralty in His Majesty’s Navy would describe Beckett as a lawful evil and that most of us officers would prefer to avoid him if at all possible. Anyway, it’s a shame Sparrow chose to follow the path of the wicked. His list of crimes is quite long. He’s a talented sailor, and his skills could have been well used elsewhere if he had made better decisions in life.”

“I suppose that none of us are perfect. We all have the capability of being good or evil, but we must decide to which side of things we devote ourselves. May Mr. Sparrow’s life be a lesson to us all.”

On his first night home, Andrew found it difficult to sleep despite being exhausted. Every time he closed his eyes he could see the cursed pirates’ skeletons covered with rotting flesh. He did his best to be careful and not disturb Catherine with his tossing and turning, but inevitably she did awaken from time to time and did her best to try to soothe and help him get at least a little sleep.

In the morning, they went to Fort Charles where the execution of Captain Jack Sparrow was to take place. There they were greeted by Theo who had informed them that Governor Swann had shown William Turner clemency but warned him that any further unlawful acts would mean he would have to face the consequences. Shortly after, James joined them, and although appearing to be well rested, the Gillettes could both sense that he was somewhat tense. As a crowd started to gather to witness the hanging, Catherine attempted to cheer him up by bringing up the subject of his pending marriage. She was somewhat grateful when Governor Swann and Miss Elizabeth had arrived and the proceedings were about to begin.

As the official read out the long list of Sparrow’s crimes, Elizabeth frowned and protested, “This is wrong.”

“Commodore Norrington is bound by the law as are we all,” Governor Swann reminded her.

Suddenly Turner approached them and announced, “Elizabeth,I should have told you every day from the moment I met you. I love you.” He then walked away and then began squeezing through the crowd.

“I can’t breathe!” Elizabeth pronounced before swooning.

“Elizabeth!” Governor Swann and James both reacted to catch her.

Just as the executioner was about to pull the lever, Catherine felt her blood run cold as she could see Tia Dalma plain as day in the crowd winking at her before disappearing into thin air. She grasped tightly onto Andrew’s arm as she regained her composure. Andrew took little notice as his attention was diverted by a disturbance at the gallows.

“Move!” Turner shouted before throwing his sword as Sparrow fell through the platform with the noose around his neck. His fall was stopped as he found himself struggling to balance himself standing precariously on Turner’s sword. James and the marines fought through the crowd to stop Turner only to find themselves being crushed under the weight of the executioner who was pushed off the platform. Then having freed him, Turner and Sparrow fought their way to the battlements trying to find a clear path of escape. There they were cornered by James and his men.

“I thought we might have to endure some manner of ill-conceived escape attempt but not from you,” James spat at Turner.

Governor Swann frowned, “On our return to Port Royal, I granted you clemency. And this is how you thank me? By throwing in your lot with him? He’s a pirate!”

“And a good man,” Turner protested. “If all I have achieved here is that the hangman will earn two pairs of boots instead of one, so be it. At least my conscience will be clear.”

“You forget your place, Turner,” James raised his sword.

“It’s right here between you and Jack.”

“As is mine,” Elizabeth stood beside Turner taking his arm in hers.

“Elizabeth!” Governor Swann fretted. “Lower your weapons. For goodness sake put them down!”

“So this is where your heart truly lies, then?” James asked actually looking noticeably hurt.

“It is,” she felt apologetic seeing the look on his face.

“Well, I’m actually feeling rather good about this,” Sparrow smiled. “I think we've all arrived at a very special place, eh? Spiritually? Ecumenically? Grammatically? I want you to know that I was rooting for you, mate. Know that,” he addressed James. “Elizabeth, it would never have worked between us, darling. I’m sorry. Will, nice hat. Friends, this is the day that you will always remember as the day that—,” and mid-sentence Sparrow flipped himself backwards off the battlements.

“Idiot! If he survives, he has nowhere to go but back to the noose,” Andrew shook his head as they all warily looked over the edge down into the water. “What’s your plan of action? Sir?” he looked to James who was hesitating.

“Perhaps on the rare occasion pursuing the right course demands an act of piracy, if piracy itself can be the right course?” Governor Swann thought aloud.

“Mr. Turner,” James turned around holding his blade erect, “this is a beautiful sword. I would expect the man who made it to show the same care and devotion in every aspect of his life.”

Understanding what James meant, he replied, “Thank you.”

Andrew called after James who was now leaving, “Commodore! What about Sparrow?”

“Well, I think we can afford to give him one day’s head start,” he shrugged his shoulders and left to hide himself away in his office.

As the danger seemed to have passed as the marines were dispersing, Catherine went to find Andrew to see what had happened. Making her way to the battlements, she descried James hunched over walking with an air of defeat to his office. While her heart screamed that she should run to him, she knew it was best to speak to Andrew first to find out what troubled James so. She knew the cause immediately when she saw it: Miss Swann and Mr. Turner were kissing passionately.

“Catie,” Andrew took her by the hand.

“I think that I might be sick right here and now. What an unfaithful wench!” she scowled.

“Shh, they might hear,” Theo winced at Catherine’s harsh words.

“I care not if they hear! Ungrateful woman! She used James to get what she wanted and then tossed him away like trash!”

“Come on,” Andrew started pulling her away from the scandalous sight. “If you are going to do this now, then best not do it here.”

“I knew this would happen!” Catherine continued to rant as Andrew guided them to a semi-private corner of the fort with Theo in tow. “I knew it!”

Andrew closed his eyes and sighed, “Are you done?”

“No, I am not done!” she wiped tears of anger off her cheeks with the backs of her hands. “Your best friend has just been humiliated in front of all of Port Royal. Don’t you care?”

“Of course, I care. I’m as angry as you are, but making a scene will not help things and it will certainly not help James right now.”

“Here you go. Dry your tears,” Theo handed Catherine a clean handkerchief. “What can we do?”

“It can be tricky with James,” Andrew started to explain. “He will either accept or refuse any offers of comfort. It just depends on what kind of state of mind he is in right now. Or he could be in denial altogether. I have seen that happen, too. He seemed alright when he left us at the battlements.”

“He most certainly was not alright when I saw him,” Catherine frowned. “He looked as if he had just learned of the death of his most dearest beloved.”

“Well, that settles it. I think you’re the woman for the job to go see how he’s faring,” Theo shrugged.

“I agree with your assessment. I think he needs a womanly touch right now,” Andrew nodded. “Go on, Catie. Go see how he’s doing.”

“I must admit that I was hoping you would say that. Besides, I don’t think either of you two ninnies would know what to say to him anyway,” she picked up her skirts and headed to James’ office.

“I love it when she gets angry,” Andrew smiled watching her stomp off.

“I hope she doesn’t bump into Miss Swann or Mr. Turner on the way,” Theo remarked.

“I must admit that, if she does, I might not restrain her this time,” he grinned. “If you cross Catie or someone she loves, you better be prepared to pay the price. I think that she could even stir those revivalist preachers to get down on their knees and beg God for mercy lest they be destroyed with fire and brimstone.”

Reaching James’ office, Catherine paused to take a few deep breaths and compose herself. Anger had no place in what she was about to do. Once she felt that she had calmed herself enough, she knocked on the door which was ajar.

“I am not to be disturbed!” James bellowed.

Finding the door open just enough for her to fit without making any noise, Catherine slipped inside finding James standing at the window gazing out at the sea watching the _Black Pearl_ sailing off in the distance. His hands were clenched into fists as his chest heaved with anger.

“Even if it’s me, James?” she asked quietly startling him.

“Catherine,” he felt her name slip from his lips in almost a whisper. After meeting her gaze and looking into her eyes, he quickly turned away and resumed looking out the window lest he break down and lose his self-control completely.

“I cannot possibly express how sorry I am for the pain you must feel right now,” she gently took hold of the cuff of his sleeve as his hands were still closed tight.

“Does Andrew know you’re here alone with me?”

“Yes, he was agreeable. We just wanted to make sure that you’re alright.”

“I will be fine as I always have been when faced with adversity in matters of the heart. I only need a little time to gather my composure. It was admittedly distressing. I always knew that there was a chance that she would rescind her acceptance of my proposal. I just never expected that it would be in front of all of Port Royal. I am quite frankly humiliated.”

“Are you sure being alone is best right now? I understand what rejection feels like,” she stated hoping that he would find comfort in a shared experience.

“Please, Catie,” he pleaded quietly his voice cracking a bit knowing that she had to be speaking of his seeming rejection of her all those years ago. She noticed a faint trembling in his lower lip. “Please, leave me,” he pulled his sleeve away from her grasp. “I just need to be alone.”

Gently placing her hand on his back, she answered, “You know where to find us if you decide you need something. Please look after yourself. One of us will stop at your estate later to see how you are faring.”

James turned and watched her leave closing the door behind her. Feeling safe to do so with no one in sight and James on the other side of the door, Catherine leaned against the wall and let out a few passionate sobs. Inside, James could hear her cries. Anguished, he felt a few silent tears rolling down his cheeks. Having had her quick release of grief in regard to James, Catherine wiped away her tears and made haste to find Andrew and Theo. Hearing her footsteps as she left, James wiped his own tears dry and clenched his jaw finding his anger returning anew.

Receiving Catherine’s report about James’ current state in which he was certainly suffering but refusing comfort and to some degree in denial, Theo and Andrew looked at each other having a feeling that dark days lay ahead for him. In terms of legality, the naval officers knew that delaying pursuit of Sparrow was enough to put James in hot water with the admiralty. And, of course, Catherine fretted as she felt the possibility of James’ emotional state deteriorating was high.

“I do not think there is any possibility in rectifying things with Elizabeth now, so we must help him to move on when he’s emotionally ready,” Catherine explained. “He will grieve this. He has every reason to.”

“And we will do all we can to help him recapture Sparrow,” Theo vowed and looked to Andrew who nodded in agreement.

“James probably feels like the lowliest and loneliest man in the world right now. We must do our best to support and encourage him until he finds his strength again,” Andrew added.

“James Norrington deserved better,” Catherine glared and said loudly as she watched Miss Swann and Mr. Turner walking hand-in-hand in the distance. She could see Elizabeth turn and look at her over her shoulder with a faint look of remorse in her countenance before returning her attentions to her beau. “I was definitely heard that time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Culturally this was the time of the first Great Awakening. Think of Edwards "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God" as a reference. So that's why I write James and Catherine as so critical of themselves in terms of religious matters. We'll just say that their old vicar took a liking to these kinds of teachings and they feel convicted. Andrew has no reason to feel deeply guilty. 
> 
> Poor James really needs a hug...


	17. The Fight Inside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: smut, topic of sex trafficking, mental health issues (depression/panic attacks), alcoholism

After the escape of Captain Jack Sparrow, the _Dauntless_ and her crew prepared to set sail to make chase early the next morning. The evening prior, Andrew stopped by James’ home to see how he was faring after being so publicly rejected by Miss Swann. While understandably low in mood, James at least appeared calm and was quite determined to leave the next morning as planned. He did not speak of his personal matters but did discuss their recent encounter with the supernatural and the strategy they might use to track down Sparrow and the _Black_ _Pearl_.

Despite another poor night’s sleep, the Gillettes were up with their roosters to get Andrew ready and out the door. Feeling a little emotional, Catherine decided to say her farewells to Andrew at the house rather than at the docks. As she was very quiet, Andrew could tell that her heart was still heavy with worry over James, and he understood that it was likely better for her this way lest she see him at the docks and feel grieved. Standing in the front doorway, Andrew and Catherine clung to each other tightly in silence for quite some time before Andrew finally spoke.

“I should be going now. They’ll be expecting me soon,” he nuzzled his cheek into Catherine’s hair.

“I will pray that your manhunt is a success, and of course, for James’ heart, too.”

“I must admit that I am grateful in that it seems this search will provide James with a distraction from his broken heart. Theo and I will do our very best to look after him. I can only hope that he will not shut us out.”

“Stubborn he certainly can be,” she sighed.

Their first attempt at hunting down Sparrow lasted about a month. Early on in their journey, James appeared to be his usual self. But as time wore on and they found it more and more difficult to lock on to the pirate’s movements, he started to become irritable. After having to outmaneuver more than one tropical storm and finding themselves running out of supplies as they did not expect to be gone this long, James reluctantly ordered the crew to change their heading and return to Port Royal.

Upon their return to port, James was greeted at the docks with a message that he was to immediately meet with Admiral Cartwright who had arrived a fortnight earlier. Andrew reassured James that he and Theo could finish seeing to the _Dauntless_ without him. Somewhat to his relief, James bumped into Governor Swann on his way to meet with the admiral.

“Good day, governor,” James tipped his hat.

“It’s so nice to see you, commodore. I had hoped to catch you before you met with the admiral. Please do not be alarmed with his presence here. He actually came to discuss other matters with me, but of course, having learned of the incident with Sparrow, he was keen to have a word with you. I spoke highly of you and all that you did to save Elizabeth’s life. I’m afraid to think of what might have happened to her if it were not for your efforts.”

“I was merely doing my duty, sir.”

“No, it was more than that, James. I know it was also out of love for her. I’m sorry for how she’s hurt you so. I was quite looking forward to having you as a son in law.”

“How is Miss Swann?”

“She seems happy enough, but under the surface, I can tell that she is already having second thoughts. Sometimes in the heat of the moment we do not think through things properly. I think she is realizing that a life with Mr. Turner may not be as exciting as she had thought. It is difficult for me, but she is a young woman now and must face the consequences of her choices. I will not meddle,” Weatherby frowned. “Oh, how I do hope that you find a woman that brings you joy someday.”

“Thank you, sir. Well, I best not keep the admiral waiting. Farewell,” he tipped his hat again and left.

While Governor Swann’s words helped smooth things over a little, Admiral Cartwright still gave James a stern talking to regarding the loss of the _Interceptor_ and Sparrow’s escape with no immediate efforts to recapture him. He was told that, if it were not for who his father was, he would have been facing a court martial. Having had nothing but a strained relationship with his father while he was alive, James felt stung at the admiral’s words as he only ever wanted anything he did to be recognized as his own rather than because of his family name.

“Commodore, while you are not going to face a court martial, you are still on thin ice right now. We are going to keep you in port on administrative duty for a month. Then you can resume your search,and if you manage to capture Sparrow, we will consider all to be forgiven,” Admiral Cartwright explained.

“A month, sir? If things are delayed further, then how will I ever manage to track him down?” James queried.

“You will just have to get creative. Besides, it was you who was responsible for the downfall of Hector Barbossa and his infernal crew at Isla de Muerta. I have no doubt that you can find Sparrow. But remember, it may take patience. Do nothing in haste.”

Having finished up at the docks, Andrew and Theo waited for James to finish his meeting with Admiral Cartwright. Worried for James, they stood in silence with Andrew pacing from time to time. Finally, James emerged. Being distressed having learned that he would be forced to work from his office for a month, James whizzed past his friends without even noticing their presence.

“Oi, wait up, Jamie!” Andrew chased after him with Theo not far behind him.

“Sorry, I had not realized you were there,” James stopped so his friends could catch up with him.

“Are you alright, sir?” Theo asked. “I hope the admiral was not too harsh with you.”

“You’re not in trouble, are you?” Andrew added.

James sighed, “There will be no court martial, but we’re to remain in port for a month’s time with me stuck with administrative duties at my desk. If there is an emergent need for the Dauntless to set sail, Andrew, you will have to take command if no one more senior is available in port. I am told that if I recapture Sparrow then the admiralty will essentially forgive and forget my errors. I suppose that I should be grateful that they’re so willing to show me mercy. But believe me, even though we have been gone for a month, Port Royal is the last place I want to be right now if you get my meaning.”

“Well then, you will have to come and spend your free time with us,” Andrew resolved. “I myself am in no mood to bump into either party that has been the source of your pain.”

“I did happen to see Weatherby on my way to my meeting with Cartwright. I suppose it’s at least some consolation that he’s feeling hurt, too. He was keen to have me join the family,” James explained. "Poor man seems to be feeling guilty when none of it was his doing.”

“Come to dinner tomorrow. Both of you,” Andrew blurted out looking to James and Theo.

“But you haven’t even been home yet since we’ve arrived. Shouldn’t you ask your wife first before going off and inviting us?” Theo asked.

“She won’t mind,” Andrew smiled. “Besides, with how busy things were before and immediately after the promotion ceremony, we never quite had a chance to spend some time with just the four of us celebrating.”

“Well—,” James started to decline.

“James, you’re coming whether you’re feeling up to it or not. I don’t want you sitting alone at home in your study brooding tomorrow when you could be dining with us.”

“Very well, I will attend,” he agreed.

Despite not being consulted about it ahead of time, Catherine was delighted upon Andrew’s return home and with the news that Theo and James were to join them for dinner the next day. While the men had been gone, Catherine had been hard at work making something for James both to cheer him up and also to commemorate his promotion, so she was quite excited to see if he would like it. She told Andrew about her handiwork but refused to show it to him lest he spoil the surprise.

“As always, the meal was delicious,” James complemented Catherine as everyone finished eating. “You were right, Andrew. I needed this. To dear friends,” he lifted his wine glass toasting everyone at the table.

“Dear friends,” they joined him.

“Oh, I cannot wait any longer,” Catherine hopped out of her seat and retrieved a small item from a drawer in one of the side tables. “This is for you, commodore,” she handed him something wrapped in fabric and secured with a ribbon. “I had hoped to have it ready before the ceremony, but I ran out of time. Go on and open it!”

James nodded and, after untying the ribbon, he carefully unwrapped the object. “Catherine, what a lovely little snuff box!” he declared admiring a painted scene of Port Royal’s docks on the porcelain lid.

“Look inside,” she encouraged him.

“Ah, my monogram,” he noted his initials on the inside of the lid. “Thank you! Did you paint this yourself?”

“Yes, with much practice over the years, I have been able to move on from simply painting flowers onto teacups as my father taught me to do so many years ago. I must admit a sense of pride in now being able to paint tiny renditions of ships and their surroundings, and I look forward to refining my skills further as I attempt to paint other objects and people.”

“Well done, Catie,” Andrew beamed with pride as the men passed the snuff box around to admire her work.

“I truly will cherish this always,” James smiled likely his first authentic smile since Miss Swann had accepted his proposal.

“I am so pleased that you like it, James,” she let his first name slip.

With the search for Sparrow on hold for a month, the Gillettes invited James over as often as possible to try to encourage him and keep his spirits up. To James’ relief, Miss Swann kept herself tucked away in the governor’s mansion and Mr. Turner stayed close to the smithy, thus sparing him having to see either of them. Governor Swann would visit James in his office from time to time to see how he was faring. As the month wore on, however, James could not help but to start planning how to resume the search for the infamous pirate. It was during these times of deep thought in solitude that James’ mind started going down dark paths.

Once the month long penalty was paid, the _Dauntless_ and her men prepared once again to set sail. As there was no other pressing need for them to attend to in their waters, they attempted to pick up right where they had left off with their search. By this time, Andrew had come to notice a subtle change in James’ demeanor. The commodore had always been a refined, respectable gentleman, but now Andrew started to notice that his behavior was becoming a bit rough around the edges. James was never one to imbibe much, but Andrew observed James starting to have a little more drink than usual. Not to the point of becoming intoxicated, but certainly enough to alter his mannerisms.

Even Theo starting to pick up on things being amiss with James. He first noticed it when James failed to follow basic naval protocols for stopping a merchant vessel and carrying out an inspection while at open sea. The issue in question was not a serious deviation, but knowing James and how he had carried out the same operation in the past, Theo knew that he never would have given the commands that he did. While they did not yet speak to one another of their concerns, Andrew and Theodore often shared knowing glances conveying their worry.

Having ensured to prepare better when it came to supplies and food rations, this time the _Dauntless_ was now nearly two months at sea. Andrew could not remember the last time that he had been away from Catherine for so long, and he was starting to find himself becoming a bit irritable with homesickness. By this time, Theo started to share his concerns with him about the worsening in James’ behavior and the crew’s morale.

“Andrew, I know it takes a lot for you to get grumpy, but imagine how the other men are feeling. It’s like we’re on a wild goose chase now or like James is a rabid dog chasing its own tail. Each day he becomes a little less of the disciplined sailor that I quickly came to admire a few years ago. And I know he’s becoming less of the man you hold dear. I feel like it may not be long now until I start to hear whispers of mutiny, and that’s the last thing that I would want to happen to him,” Theo frowned.

“I agree. I think it has come to the point that I am going to have to try talk him into changing course and making for Port Royal. The men are tired, and quite frankly, I am exhausted trying to placate them and James at the same time. He told me last night that he’s working on a plan, but I do not know any details. Seems that he’s managed to strike a deal with one of the merchant captains that we’ve met along the way to help out with it. Maybe we can assure the crew that once we’ve tried his plan we can go home after that. He’s changed, Theo, and I don’t like it,” Andrew frowned.

A couple of days later, James invited Andrew and Theo to his cabin to discuss his grand plan. Neither Andrew nor Theodore had it in them to ask James if he was going to shave any time soon as he had been neglecting his personal appearance and had the beginnings of a beard growing which was completely unheard of for a naval officer such as himself. After sharing a meal together and enjoying some drink, he spread a map out on the table.

“When morning comes, we will change heading. Once at this location,” James pointed to a marked place on the map, “we will await the merchant vessel _Tawny Roebuck_. Then together we will change our heading to Tortuga.”

“Tortuga? We could never set foot there without reinforcements,” Andrew shook his head. “We would get tarred and feathered or worse!”

“The _Dauntless_ will not approach the island but will stay off in the distance. The captain will provide me with a change of clothes, and then I will transfer to the _Roebuck_. The _Roebuck_ , with me onboard, will then sail and make port in Tortuga. Once there, I will do my best to blend in with the unwashed masses and get information about Sparrow.” Feeling quite proud of his plan to go incognito, James folded his arms and cocked his head.

“You cannot be serious!” Andrew burst out laughing at him. “You’ll get picked off within minutes of setting foot on that island. You’re far too genteel to make it as a pirate!”

“Sir, besides the fact that Tortuga lies in highly contested waters right now. If we’re discovered, it may be considered an act of aggression!” Theo threw up his hands as Andrew continued laughing.

Unable to handle Andrew’s mockery, James stomped over and grabbed him by the coat shaking him violently, “I am fully capable of carrying out this task! God knows no one else on this ship is competent enough to do it! I don’t see anyone else making any intelligent contributions to this manhunt!”

“Stop!” Theo jumped out of his chair to stop James before he did something he would regret to Andrew.

“What is wrong with you, Jamie?” Andrew, now red in the face, smoothed the fabric of his coat feeling quite startled that James had reacted so violently to his jest.

James sighed, walked back to his place at the table, emptied his wine glass, and plopped back down in his chair putting his face in his hands. “Andrew, I’m sorry. It’s just— I’m getting desperate,” he frowned.

“Admiral Cartwright did not say that you absolutely had to capture Sparrow. He just stated that it would put you back in the admiralty’s good graces if you could manage it. As far as I am concerned, Sparrow is no longer worth all this, friend. You’re losing your mind, your dignity, and the trust of your crew. We should just head home so that you can get some rest, clear your mind, and get your priorities straight. I’m saying this not only as your first officer but as your friend. And I’m sorry for laughing at you,” Andrew apologized. “It certainly did not help things.”

“And I am sorry for shaking you just now.” After a few moments of silence, James asked, “Can we at least try this? And if nothing comes of it, we will head home straight away.”

“Do you swear it?”

“I promise wholeheartedly.”

“Are you on board, Theo?” Andrew asked.

“Yes, sir, I am willing to accept the commodore’s terms,” Theo nodded.

“Thank you, both. I hope that our efforts will not be in vain,” James scratched at his hairy jawline.

As per the plan, the _Dauntless_ rendezvoused with the _Tawny Roebuck_ at the location which James had previously arranged with the merchant captain. To prevent treachery, the merchant captain’s first mate stayed behind on the _Dauntless_. After James had changed into his disguise, he briefly addressed Andrew and Theo.

“Give me thirty-six hours. If I have not returned by then, come and search for me, but not a minute earlier. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, sir,” Theo answered.

“Please be careful,” Andrew frowned.

“I will do my best to return unscathed.”

The lieutenants were grateful that James at least had the sense enough to request that the merchant ship obtain some extravagances for the men of the _Dauntless_ at his own expense. After James had left the ship, that evening the ship’s cook whipped up a very fine meal for the men who were no doubt tired of basic provisions as of late, and Andrew felt relieved that it at least boosted their morale and placated them for the time being.

Meanwhile, James was busy making merry at the _Faithful Bride_ tavern in Tortuga while attempting to blend in and hopefully discover some information about Sparrow’s location or his next planned course of action. A couple times he feared that his true identity had been discovered, but with the help of some hearty amounts of rum, he found it easier to relax and disguise his true form.

Now quite drunk and it being quite late at night, one conversation led to another, and the next thing he knew, James found himself being led upstairs to a room where he was told that a certain Giselle would have the information he needed and that she would take good care of him, too.

“Treat her properly, lad, and give her some extra coin. Money speaks in these parts,” his newfound ally explained. “Go on, then, don’t be shy!”

James nervously knocked on the door which quickly opened revealing a slender blonde woman. “Ooh, you found me a nice one tonight!” she looked James up and down before grabbing him and pulling him inside. “Handsome and strong,” she felt his shoulders. “And what can I do for you, good sir?”

“I’m looking for information. I’m willing to pay,” James reached inside his coat to retrieve his coin purse.

“And a voice like velvet! Mmm, I bet you come from noble blood. What information do you seek?”

“I’m looking for Jack Sparrow. I was told that you can help me. Do you know him?”

“Of course I know that bastard! He promised to marry me and then auctioned me off to that French pig Marquis d’Avis. I may be a fallen woman, sir, but I still have standards. The marquis is known to have quite perverted tastes. Thankfully my friend that just now brought you up here saved me and whisked me away to this place. Oh, but I could have been Mrs. Sparrow!” she sniffled a little before walking over and taking a big swig of rum directly from the bottle.

“Have you happened to hear as of late where he might be?"

“I don’t want to talk about Jack right now. I want to have some fun. Don’t you?” she walked over to James taking his hands and putting them on her ample cleavage before starting to paw at his manhood through his breeches. James swallowed hard finding that being drunk was making it harder to control himself. “Aww, you’re nervous! It’s your first time! No need to be afraid, love. I’ll look after you well.”

“I’m no blushing virgin,” he protested taking offense.

And it was the truth. While it had been around four years since the last time he had done it, he had previously experienced the occasional sexual liaison with various women of high society over the years. It worked well for the women who were keen to bed a naval officer. And it worked out well for him, too, needing a release now and then to distract himself from the hunger in his gut for the woman he could not have. The young bachelorettes wished to protect their honor and marriage prospects thus begging confidentiality from him, and so everyone benefitted from the arrangements. Even Andrew was unaware of his friend’s dalliances with the fairer sex.

Over time however, James did find that while his physical cravings were satisfied, his romps between the sheets did not rid him of his feelings of guilt over Catherine whatsoever. If anything, he believed they likely made the guilt worse, and thus he had started to abstain from the lusts of the flesh.

“No, you’re not a blushing virgin, but it’s your first time with a woman like me, Commodore James Norrington,” Giselle whispered in his ear causing him to gasp in alarm that she knew his identity. “Oh, don’t be so shocked. Most people here probably have guessed who you are by now.”

“Then why hasn’t anyone threatened my life yet?” he asked while remembering Andrew’s jest in that he would be recognized too easily. _“Damn, he was right.”_

“Because alliances here change frequently in Tortuga, and at the moment, Jack Sparrow is public enemy number one. He’s the one that led you to Barbossa and the _Pearl_. Business used to be booming in Tortuga when Barbossa was still alive. Old Hector had no need for all the wealth they acquired in their search for their cursed Aztec gold, so what they didn’t stash at Isla de Muerta, they came and spent it here on supplies. We’ve fallen on hard times, and Jack is to blame. It’s even worse than when you were busy trying to kill us all off!”

“So, at the moment, I am still alive because I am a means to an end,” James plopped down on the edge of the bed.

“Exactly! You finding Jack and stringing him up on the gallows would mean we would all be avenged. Especially me! Now, come on, love, I’ll tell you everything you want if we have some fun first. You can have the whole night for a discount. Treat me well like how you wanted to treat that wench the blacksmith stole away from you,” she sat next to him.

“Everyone knows about that, too?” James frowned.

“Word travels fast in these parts, love. Don’t be sad. You deserve better than someone that would probably end up being unfaithful anyway. How’s about we take care of each other tonight, huh? I can see you need some cheering up,” she pulled his head and had him rest it against her breasts. At what point she had bared them he had no idea, but James could not help but to close his eyes reveling in the warmth of her skin against his cheek. Next thing he realized, she had undone the front of his breeches and was stroking his growing erection. “Well done,” she purred, “just relax and enjoy yourself.”

_“I suppose that there is no harm in one night,”_ James thought hazily.

Most of Giselle’s customers only wanted a quick release which required her to simply lift her skirts, so she was surprised to find James suddenly kissing her neck and working on removing her clothes. _“Poor man must be awful lonely and heartbroken,”_ she thought as she started to do the same with his own clothing. Once both were bare, Giselle knelt down in front of James taking his member into her mouth causing him to curse under his breath. It was not long until he found his release.

Coming to his senses, he apologized, “I’m sorry. What about you?”

“We have all night, love!” Giselle smiled gently. “Now come and have a cuddle,” she crawled into bed and encouraged him to join her. The way that he clung to her, she could tell that he was desperate for human contact.

Later that night as Giselle rode him, James closed his eyes imagining another. When he finally reached his climax, he found himself shouting, “Oh, God, Catie!” He was quickly slapped across the face so hard that he could taste blood from his now split lip.

“My name is Giselle!” she shouted angrily before hopping off of him. After calming down and curling up next to him, she apologized, “I’m sorry for striking you. Most men would have nearly strangled me to death by now for doing something like that. You would think by now that I would be used to hearing other women’s names being shouted. And I thought your former fiancee’s name was Elizabeth.”

“It is,” he sighed.

“Then who is Catie?”

“It’s a love that can never be. While I did love Elizabeth and want to marry her, I think that I am starting to realize that she was merely an attempt to bind up that wound.”

“Love can be a painful thing,” she handed him a newly opened bottle of rum. “I don’t suppose a woman like me will ever find a man to love me back. My profession has left me tainted for life.”

“If you had the ability, would you leave this place and try to find a new life elsewhere?” he asked before taking a swig of the rum.

“I would consider it. Thing is, like old Jack is about to find out, one’s mistakes have a habit of catching up with you sooner or later. The price must be paid. My fear is that eventually people would find out that I was a prostitute to pirates. Just a piece of trash is what I am to decent folk. I was a respectable woman once, if you can believe it. Was from a hard-working family and was engaged to marry a good man. Or so I thought. I was so young and naive. He persuaded me to sneak away with him to America before we said our vows. And then next thing I knew we were in the West Indies. He sold me off to a Spaniard buccaneer. My heart has become hardened, so I don’t cry over it anymore. Though, I do still wonder if my family knows what became of me, or if they’re even alive,” she sighed.

“And that’s why Sparrow’s betrayal is so personal to you.”

“I know how Jack’s mind works. He only looks out for himself. We’re both survivors I guess. It’s what we do. I might have done the same to him if our roles were reversed. But what he did to me reopened old wounds and made me feel like such a fool to allow myself to be trafficked again like a piece of meat by someone that declared to have loved me.”

James climbed out of the bed and began looking through his coat pockets until he found his stash of money. After removing a small amount to keep to pay for necessities and the amount of money for Giselle’s services, most of which would no doubt go to her so-called “friend,” he handed her a small sack which contained the remaining amount that he had with him. “You are not trash, Giselle,” he gently stroked her hair out of her face. “I want you to take this money and do your best to hide it from others and save it. And someday, if and when you’re ready, use it to get out of here and try to find a fresh start,” he explained. “Maybe you can get back to England and find your family.”

“Sir?” she looked at him with a face full of doubt.

“I mean it. Please take it. Ultimately it is up to you as to what you do with the money, but I feel it is only fair to at least give you a chance to do better for yourself.”

“Oh, thank you, sir!” Giselle flung her arms around his neck and started to weep. “You are a good man, commodore. Please do not allow yourself to lose your way like I have.”

“I am finding that it is becoming more difficult to keep to the straight and narrow thanks to our old friend Jack.”

“Then do it for this Catie of whom you speak. Live as if you still had a chance. You never know what Providence has in store for us. I for one never expected this,” she held up the money he just gave her. “You’ve done more than enough to be given this information. Jack had the audacity to turn up in town two weeks ago. Told me he’s heading to the Mediterranean to strike a deal with a Turk for a map, but said that he was going to go north to Cuba first to meet up with a lady friend of his that lives in the bayous off the Pantano River. He said that he would likely set sail for Turkey at the end of the month. But this is Jack we’re talking about, and his plans could easily change with any new flight of fancy that he has. That’s all I know. I wish that I could be of more help.”

“Miss Giselle, that is more than enough information to help me try and find him. Thank you,” he gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek.

“You’re welcome, commodore,” she smiled.

“Please call me James.”

She nodded, “You look exhausted. Let’s try to get some sleep now.”

In the morning, James awoke with what he thought was quite possibly the worst hangover he ever had. Giselle was already washed and in her shift tending to her hair and makeup. Groaning, James sat up and swung his legs out of bed and put his head in his hands.

“Here, have a little more rum,” Giselle handed him a bottle. “Not ideal, but it will take the edge off a bit.” Seeing that James was not used to the aftereffects of such heavy drinking, she took pity on him and aided him in washing up and getting dressed before helping him downstairs where she had the cook make him a good breakfast to help with his hangover. Once he was finished with his meal, she knew that since he had the information he needed it was likely time for him to say farewell.

“Giselle, I thank you not only for the information but also for your kindness and comfort. I hope that I can find Sparrow and bring him to justice and that through that you can find some peace,” James gently kissed her hand.

“You have brought me a little hope and light in a dark place like this, James,” Giselle smiled and stroked his cheek. “Please look after yourself. I would much prefer if we not encounter each other here again, but I hope that someday we may meet somewhere else and both be in a better place.”

After leaving the tavern, James returned to the dock where he was to meet up with the captain of the _Roebuck_ and return to the _Dauntless_. The _Roebuck_ set sail, and feeling quite sick, James hid himself in the small navigation room and was gladdened to see his own ship not so far off in the distance. After swapping James and the merchant captain’s first mate, the two ships parted ways.

“Well, sir, was your plan a success?” Theo asked. “You got back a few hours sooner than you had hoped.”

“It actually was,” James smirked. “Sparrow is in Cuba, and if we happen to miss him, his next destination is the Mediterranean.”

“Are you alright, Jamie?” Andrew asked. “You look a little green around the gills. And what happened to your lip?”

“Unfortunately the inhabitants of Tortuga are very fond of their rum, so I had much more than what I am accustomed to drink. Also had a minor scuffle with one of the inhabitants, but they were quite apologetic as it was just a misunderstanding. A hot bath and a shave will likely do me wonders if you can have the cabin boys arrange that for me, Andrew.”

“If we get to Cuba and have missed Sparrow, may we please return to port to give the men a chance to rest and replenish our inventory? The almanac has predicted an unseasonably long hurricane season this year, and Sparrow will likely face many delays trying to cross the Atlantic if he can even get across at all. Even if he has a two or three week head start, we should still be able to cut him off at the Straight of Gibraltar as he tries to leave the sea and return to oceanic waters.”

Feeling a bit lighter in mood now that he had an idea of where to find Sparrow and seeing how tired Andrew looked, James nodded, “I think that is a reasonable plan of action.”

As the cabin boys worked on filling up James’ tub with hot water, Andrew sat with him in his quarters and could not help but to ask, “So, what was it like on the other side of things?”

“I would certainly never choose to live in Tortuga, but I learned that some of its inhabitants do not reside there as a choice. I have always viewed things in terms of black and white, but perhaps those that align themselves with pirates were sometimes forced to do so.”

“Aye, and even we are capable of evil,” Andrew nodded.

Later as James soaked in his bath, he could not help but to think of Giselle and her sad tale of how she came to be a prostitute. _“Poor woman has been so ill-used by men. And even though our encounter felt consensual to me, did she really feel as if she had a choice in the matter? Likely not. And thus I am no better than the men that took her innocence and destroyed her life. And I did it all while lusting after my best friend’s wife. I can wash my body to remove the physical traces of last night, but how can I cleanse my very soul?”_

Unfortunately, there was no trace of the _Black_ _Pearl_ in the waters at the mouth of the Cuban Pantano River by the time they had arrived, so as James had agreed, they set sail for home. Upon returning to Port Royal, they learned that they had missed the decisive Battle of Havana, and while the British won, things would likely remain tense in the Caribbean for the time being.

Feeling unable to face Catherine after his night with Giselle, James politely declined all of the Gillettes’ invitations for dinner feigning ongoing digestive troubles from overindulging in rum. After having two weeks in Port Royal to rest, James drove his crew to leave once again to find Sparrow. This time Catherine could not help but to weep a little at Andrew’s departure after having had what felt like such a short time to have him home. Meanwhile, James’ mental state continued to deteriorate.

Not even a week into the renewal of their search, the _Dauntless_ stumbled upon a small merchant ship captained by a feeble Irishman. As with all their other encounters with merchants, James ordered that the ship be inspected while he sought to gather information about the possible whereabouts of Sparrow and the _Black Pearl_.

“Aye, I know of this Mr. Sparrow,” the Irish captain nodded. “My family’s crops have gone bad this year, and what little we could harvest no one wants to buy. My family has fallen on real bad times. One of my brother’s children has died. I had to enlist my eldest into the army just so we had one less mouth to feed. Had to give my baby girl away to my wife’s relatives. Breaks my heart to hear the wee ones asking what there is to eat. So I had no choice but to see if I could sell our harvest elsewhere. So this Sparrow comes along, and bless the lad, he bought the whole lot of it and what little munitions we had, too. And at more than what they were worth! Anyway, lad said he’s off to Brazil before heading to Turkey. Such a bizarre combination of destinations, but the lad does come across as a bit odd.”

“Do you understand that you sold munitions to a convicted pirate that has escaped custody and is due to hang?” James asked angrily in frustration that once again they would have to change direction to chase down Sparrow.

“No, sir! I’m sorry, sir!”

“Lieutenant Groves, secure this man and his crew in the brig. We will tow his ship back to Port Royal where they will face trial for aiding and abetting.”

“But, sir, that will mean certain death for them,” Theo frowned.

“I am well aware,” James clenched his jaw.

“Please, sir! Have mercy!” the Irishman collapsed on his knees pleading for his life. “What about my wife and children?”

“Lieutenant, I said arrest them!” James shouted.

“No, belay that order!” Andrew stood in front of the man shielding him.

“Lieutenant Gillette, stand aside!”

“I will not! If you want his life, you’ll have to take mine as well! He’s done nothing wrong. He’s just a poor Irish merchant oppressed by the English crown who’s trying to feed his starving children. I would have done the exact same if I were in his position. Lest you forget what blood runs through my veins, a chara*!” Andrew pulled off his hat and wig exposing his ginger hair.

“Return the man to his ship and let them go!” James huffed practically shaking in anger at Andrew’s challenge to his leadership.

“Thank you, boy,” the Irish captain, still on his knees, kissed Andrew’s hand. “May God be with you and bless you.”

Once the merchant ship was freed, James ordered, “Bosun, issue Lieutenant Gillette five lashes with the cat-o’-nine-tails for insubordination!” Things became deathly silent, and the crew all stopped what they were doing and stared at him. “Bosun!”

“I won’t, sir,” the bosun and his mate both shook their heads feeling loyalty to Andrew who they knew was constantly looking out for the crew’s best interests during James’ spiral into madness. “I just cannot do it to the lad.”

“Sir, please,” Theo pleaded as Andrew defiantly started stripping himself fully ready to accept the punishment James had ordered for him. “You can’t really—“

“Out of my way!” James pushed Theo aside and grabbed the whip from the bosun’s belt. “If I cannot rely on you to help maintain order on this ship, then I will just have to do it myself! And there will be nothing but bread and water for all of you tonight!”

“Come on!” Andrew who was now shirtless dared him. He turned around with his pale bare back facing James and braced himself holding onto a couple of ropes.

Despite his rage, and even with Andrew egging him on, James briefly hesitated before letting loose the first lash. Andrew gasped feeling the sting and held his breath awaiting the remaining four lashes. Once James had finished, he threw the cat-o’-nine-tails onto the deck and dashed to his cabin slamming and locking the door behind him. Theo ran to Andrew's side, and once Andrew caught his breath, he helped him down the stairs below deck so the ship’s surgeon could tend to him. Thankfully, despite the pain, Andrew’s skin had remained relatively intact as little bleeding was to be found.

To the entire crew’s relief, the next day they encountered the small scout ship the HMS _Eaglet_ with orders to return immediately to Port Royal as the admiralty feared tensions with the Spanish after the Battle of Havana were growing worse. James hid himself away in his cabin drinking, and in defiance and despite the pain he was in from the lashes, Andrew continued his duties as usual.

“You’re home! I’m so glad that you have come back so quickly,” Catherine smiled and went to hug him.

“Please don’t,” Andrew moved stiffly.

“You’re in pain, Andrew. What happened?”

“It was James. I challenged him and refused to obey his orders in order to protect the life of a poor merchant whom I felt was innocent. As the rest of the crew refused to carry out his orders to punish me, he flogged me himself. Catie, I think we’re losing him,” Andrew started to weep putting a hand to his face to cover his eyes.

“Shh,” Catherine tried to soothe him, “come and let’s go upstairs so I can tend to your wounds and try to make you comfortable.”

Despite his penchant for mischief, Andrew had actually only ever received a flogging once before quite early on in his time in the navy as a young lad. Between the physical pain and humiliation of it all, he vowed that he would do everything he could to avoid the punishment again. He still bore the pale scars of those lashes to this day. And now he had fresh ones marking his skin thanks to his dearest friend.

“Careful,” Andrew winced as Catherine slipped his shirt over his head.

Somewhat relieved as she was expecting worse in terms of severity of the wounds, Catherine still could not help but to cry a little at seeing what James had inflicted on her husband. Noting the red stripes, scabs, and bruised flesh, she asked, “Oh, how could he do this to you?”

“Catie, I fear something evil has taken its hold on James despite our efforts to help him. I don’t know what to do to save him. I just want my best friend back,” he wept anew. “How can I even face him after this?”

Outside of Theo stopping by every other day to see how Andrew was faring and to discuss with the Gillettes their mutual concerns regarding James, the Gillettes were relieved to have a quiet week together. It was clear to Catherine that the worser of Andrew’s wounds were not the visible ones on his back as he started to withdraw himself and spend time alone thinking. As Christmas was in a little over a fortnight, she hoped that the holiday would at least bring him a little cheer.

One afternoon as Catherine thought of starting to make yuletide preparations, she heard a knock at the front door and felt a sense of foreboding. She slowly opened the door and found James standing on the doorstep. “Commodore,” she greeted him with no show of emotion.

“Mrs. Gillette,” he bowed. Taking off his hat and holding it in his hands, he quietly inquired, “Is Andrew home? I would like to have a word with him, please, if possible.”

“He has gone for a walk and intends to sit in the garden upon his return.”

“Oh, I see. Then I will excuse myself and try another day.”

“No, please stay. You can wait in the parlor, and once he returns, I will go out and ask him if he is willing to see you.” Letting James inside and each taking a seat in the parlor, she explained, “As you can imagine, he is feeling quite upset with you over recent events. It has been a long time since I have seen him this quiet. I cannot bear it, the two of you quarreling like this after so many years of such deep love and friendship. What has come over you James? How could you do that to him?”

“Catherine, I fear that I am losing my way. I no longer recognize the man that I see in the mirror. I’m losing control, and I have no idea how to stop it. I’m becoming exactly like all that I despise. And now I’ve hurt one of the people that I love the most,” James’ voice faltered a bit.

“If you ask for it, I am sure that he will forgive you, but trust may take some time to rebuild. He has noticed that you are not yourself as well, and it is tearing him up something awful. I think that I hear him outside just now. I will go speak with him and see if he will welcome having a discussion with you,” she excused herself. Andrew, indeed, had returned and consented to seeing James. Returning to the parlor, Catherine informed James, “Go on. He will see you. I will give you both privacy and remain here.”

Knowing the way, James walked through what was practically his second home and out to the garden where Andrew sat ramrod straight as sitting up against the backs of chairs was still uncomfortable for him at times. As Andrew sat facing away from the house and was making himself busy by whittling away at some wood with a small knife, he had not taken notice of James who was standing and observing him. Feeling such shame for the physical and emotional pain he had caused his friend, James felt a lump forming in his throat, but he forced his legs to start moving until he found himself standing directly in front of Andrew. As Andrew looked up at him, James could not help but to drop to his knees as he felt like he could no longer catch his breath. He felt panicked.

“Friend,” Andrew furrowed his brow and gingerly reached out putting his hand on James’ shoulder reassuringly, “it’s alright. Calm down.”

Feeling comforted by Andrew’s gesture, James took a few moments to collect himself before sitting back on his heels and clasping his hands together, “I am so sorry, Andrew. Please forgive me. I feel no words could ever adequately express the remorse that I feel for the pain that I have caused you. There is something wrong with me. ‘For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do,’ wrote St. Paul. I fear that the very evil I pursue is starting to consume me!”

“Oh, Jamie,” Andrew felt pity seeing James looking so penitent and felt tears welling up in his eyes, “of course I forgive you.”

James breathed a sigh of relief, “Thank you, I have thought of not much else this past week.”

Andrew noted James hands were trembling, “Have you been drinking again?”

“I know that I have been drinking too much, but I’m trying to stop, hence the shaking,” he held up one of his hands. “I know that Tortuga made my consumption far worse, and after what I did to you, as soon as we got back I saw old McKee for advice. This morning, he said that I am likely through the worst of coming off of it now. Drink may numb the heartache a little, but it is only causing rot to my soul.”

“I know heartbreak is something awful to go through, but you will heal with time James. And Sparrow will meet his demise sooner or later. Have you considered taking a brief leave of absence to look after yourself? You look exhausted.”

“I have considered it, but I fear being idle would only make things worse.”

“Well, come and celebrate Christmas with us and Theo, and then together we will face the new year with clear resolve that things will get better."

While Catherine was relieved that Andrew and James had reconciled and that James was seeking help for his newfound problem with alcohol, she could not help but to continue to be worried for both of them. Andrew remained somewhat withdrawn and seemed to take little interest in the fact that Christmas was near. Then the nightmares that he had experienced not long after Isla de Muerta suddenly started to return. And one day it dawned on her that she could not remember the last time that they had made love.

One night as Andrew thrashed about shouting in bed, Catherine stirred him awake and comforted him as he clung to her as if afraid for his very life. “Andrew, it’s alright. Calm down. I do not understand. The nightmares were gone weeks ago, but now they’re back and getting worse.”

“This one was particularly bad. I had become one of them,” he wiped the sweat from his brow. “I was immortal but my very body was rotting like a corpse. I do not know why, but I feel as if this is a bad omen of sorts.”

“You’re frightening me,” she started to cry.

“Please do not cry. It was only a dream. I’m sorry. I should not have presumed to try to understand it like that,” he held her.

“It upsets me because in some ways it is true! You have become so withdrawn. You’re just existing and not living. It’s almost as if you’ve become obsessed with finding that damn pirate, perhaps even more than James.”

“Because the only way to help James is to find Sparrow! You know that!”

“And at this rate I will lose both of you! Where will that leave me? Completely alone! Even if by some miracle we had a child, they would not have a father right now. Perhaps it is better, then, that you have been neglecting your husbandly duties as of late!” she sobbed.

“Shite,” Andrew rubbed his eyes, “you’re right.”

“What?”

“Catie, I’ve been completely neglecting you in so many ways. I’m so sorry. Between being gone for such lengths of time and constantly fretting over James when I am home, I have completely shut you out of my life. You’re my wife, for heaven’s sake, and you should be my only priority. And we’re supposed to be working on trying to conceive!” 

“Damn Elizabeth, Turner, and Sparrow,” she huffed. “Their selfish actions have harmed not only James but all of us as well. And it may end up costing someone their life.”

“That’s what I fear, too. But never you mind them. We will do what we can to help James, but ultimately his actions are his own even if he breaks our hearts from us having to watch him destroy himself. Now, from this point onward, you and I are going to be quite busy together. I think it is high time you and I have our little romp at the fort. What do you say?” he wiggled his eyebrows.

“You make it very difficult to stay angry with you, Andrew Gillette,” she smiled and gave him a kiss.

“I know this adorable face of mine is hard to resist!”

“What do you think about us getting a head start?"

As Christmas approached, Governor Swann and James shared a small festive lunch together at the fort. Weatherby, of course, was quite troubled having learned of James’ difficulties as of late, and he hoped that he could give him some fatherly advice and comfort. He was grateful for James’ being honest and vulnerable with him about struggling with things like his anger and with taking too much drink. While it was certainly a topic they both wished to avoid, James still could not help but to inquire after Elizabeth’s well-being.

“Elizabeth is well in body but quite rumpled in spirit. She and the boy have little spats quite often. While they may simply be little misunderstandings due to them being from different stations in society, something that can be overcome with love and time and hard work, I still cannot help but to fear that this will not end well. But she presses on with wedding planning anyway,” Governor Swann sighed.

“I see,” James replied after which there was an awkward silence.

“If she changed her mind, if she decided that she was wrong and begged your forgiveness and asked that you would take her back, would you have her?” the governor asked suddenly.

James sat back in his chair and thought deeply before answering sadly, “At this point, I honestly do not feel worthy of any honorable woman of society including Miss Elizabeth even with her faults. Sir, I am becoming more and more guilty of the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life. Despite my efforts to stop, I fear that I may yet fall further. I detest myself. Particularly as my sins continue to hurt the ones I hold most dear more than I hurt myself.”

“From what you have told me and from the mouths of others, I know that things are not going well for you right now. Please do not give up on yourself and on life. Son,” Weatherby could not help but to refer to James with that term with affection, “I could never forgive myself if something were to happen to you. Whatever you have done, whatever you may end up doing, no one is beyond the reach of God’s redemption, James Norrington. Please remember that. Oh, how I long to see you happy again.” 

While inwardly he still feared what his future held, James was grateful for Governor Swann’s company and comforting words. He only hoped that he would remember them in the bleak days to come. And as much as James felt negativity towards himself spiritually, he did at least continue to put forth an effort to get better physically and mentally. Regular visits were paid to Dr. McKee to continue getting input regarding his recovery from his brief fall into alcoholism. And despite the guilt he still struggled with at times regarding the pain he had caused his friends, James made sure to be social with them even if he was not really feeling up to it.

Christmas finally arrived, and James felt that he actually enjoyed himself a little for the first time in quite a while. With Catherine’s gentle persuasion, he joined Theo and the Gillettes for Christmas services at church and then dined with them at Philadelphia House. Andrew’s heart was gladdened to see the tiniest glimmer of joy in James’ countenance that day, and Catherine had hope that things were getting better for him.

After the New Year, as tensions with the Spanish seemed to have calmed down a bit, the admiralty once again gave James permission to renew his search for Sparrow. And he could not help but to feel that it was providential that the captain of a merchant ship that just arrived in Port Royal relayed that he had just left San Juan where he saw Sparrow who was making preparations to sail to the Mediterranean.

“James,” Andrew smiled as the merchant captain relayed this information, “we might finally have him cornered.”

“Indeed,” James restrained himself in fear that he show too much excitement at the potential for the imminent demise of his mortal enemy. “We best make haste before the mad man changes his mind again.”

“Theo and I will start preparations immediately!”

Knowing that he had to regain their trust as their commander, over the Christmas season, James made sure to send each of his crew a letter and a small token of his appreciation for their services. In the vast majority of cases, his gesture was well received. Therefore when the word was given, the _Dauntless_ was made ready to sail quite quickly. Having had the time off to rest and spend the holidays with their families, then men were feeling quite jovial and keen to be off once again.

Not only were the men feeling hopeful and happy for the new year, Catherine also had hopes of her own. Feeling gladdened, she felt this time it was important to bid Andrew farewell at the docks.

“It is still a little too early to know how things will turn out, but as there is no telling how long you will be away, I thought you should know,” Catherine took Andrew’s hand and held it to her abdomen with a small smile. “I do not want to get my hopes up, but I will pray God’s will be done either way.”

“Oh, Catie,” Andrew beamed when he understood her meaning and kissed her deeply. “When and how did we manage it?”

“With all the fuss these past few months, my courses were so unreliable. It must have happened the single time we made love when you were home for those two weeks in November,” she shrugged. “Then we were under such stress, so I simply did not think that any of my physical symptoms were from pregnancy. And it would be too early for me to tell if we had only just conceived in December.”

“If this time is not successful, once you are ready, please let us go straight to the orphanage and be done with it.”

“Very well, I am in agreement with that plan,” she nodded. “As in the past, please do not go telling anyone until we are sure that the odds are good that this pregnancy is viable.”

“Of course, darling. I will not say a thing until you give me the word. You will be in my thoughts and prayers constantly. I only hope that we are not gone too long lest I miss anything whether for good or bad. Such wonderful news!”

“Andrew, how I will miss you so. Godspeed, my love.”

“Take care of both of you, a chiste is a stór**,” he kissed her deeply again, held her for a time, and bid her farewell with a smile. “May I return to you soon! I love you!” he shouted from the deck and waved as they left the dock.

“I love you, too!” she ignored propriety and shouted back to him with a smile.

Catherine would find the cherished memory of Andrew on this day ingrained in her mind for the rest of her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *a chara = my friend  
> **a chiste is a stór = my cherished love
> 
> How far must poor James fall before he can fly? We're heading into pre-Dead Man's Chest territory, so buckle your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy ride. For everyone.


	18. The Broken Strand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: brief smut, major character death, religious themes

Leaving Port Royal, the _Dauntless_ first made its way towards San Juan just to ensure that the _Black Pearl_ was not still present in those waters. She was not, but the crew of a merchant ship leaving the port said that the she had just left about a day ago and rumor was that Sparrow was heading to the Mediterranean. James and Andrew looked to each other and smiled as the crew changed heading to make chase once again.

After a day or two, a midshipman on lookout duty came bolting into the navigation room with the news, “Sir, I’ve spotted her!”

Immediately, James jumped up leaving his maps behind and followed the lad out onto the deck. He aimed his spyglass in the direction the lad indicated and grinned upon seeing the black sails, “There she is!” He then ordered his men to adjust heading as excitement spread throughout the crew that their target had finally been located after months of hardship and searching.

Meanwhile off in the distance on the _Pearl_ , Jack Sparrow started pacing on the poop deck muttering to himself, “Bugger, bugger, bugger!”

“Jack, what is wrong with you now?” Joshamee Gibbs asked. “You’ve been paranoid ever since we set out from San Juan.”

“Old Norrington has finally caught up to us,” Jack handed Gibbs his spyglass.

“Aye, he has,” Gibbs spotted the ship off in the distance. “I have no doubt that’s the _Dauntless_. Would recognize her anywhere.”

“Bugger it all!”

“Calm down, Jack. We have the advantage in that we can maneuver easier than a full blown warship.”

“Problem is Norrington’s skills as a sailor match me own. In fact, he might even be better than me. We’re in trouble, Gibbs! Mark my words! I might have to call on ‘you know who’ for help.”

“Oh no, she will be furious after what you did when we visited her in Cuba a few weeks ago! Must you call for her and disturb her out here?”

“Tia may be angry with me, but I will just have to make her an offer she simply cannot refuse.”

“Maybe we should just surrender. The commodore will give us honorable deaths,” Gibbs took a swig from his flask.

“Never! We must run away today to live another day.”

Being a man of his word, Andrew had kept his promise to Catherine in that he had not told a soul of her pregnancy, but many of his mates noted that he seemed quite more jovial than usual. Thankfully, he was easily able to use the excuse that he was simply happy due to finally being close to capturing Jack Sparrow and returning him once again to Port Royal to face justice.

Although Catherine was the more pious one, Andrew also kept his promise to say prayers for her and their unborn child. Kneeling each night, he made supplication for their wellbeing and safety and that he would return to them soon. He also prayed for James and that their endeavor to recapture Jack Sparrow would be successful. 

While he knew that Catherine was likely correct about conceiving in November, Andrew still could not help but to fantasize a bit about their many romps in December helping in some way to seal the deal. Many a night as he drifted off to sleep, he daydreamed about their moments spent together. One night in particular as the _Dauntless_ continued to relentlessly pursue the _Black Pearl_ across the Atlantic, Andrew slept peacefully in his cot and had a pleasant dream for the first time in a long while. Even better was that the dream was heavily based in reality of recent times spent with Catherine.

_Sitting in a small unclaimed, empty office at Fort Charles, Andrew folded his hands on top of the desk and frowned as Catherine knelt in front of it. “You do understand, milady, why you have been asked to meet with me today?” Andrew inquired._

_“No, sir, I do not!” Catherine declared. “I have done nothing wrong!”_

_“Then let it be known to you that once again, you have made far too many sweets thus forcing me to consume them in order to try to make me fat!” he shouted trying to sound serious only causing them both to giggle a bit before going back into character. Andrew got out of his chair and stood next to Catherine looming over her. “Stand up and face me!” he commanded as he began to untie his cravat._

_“Lieutenant Gillette, please have mercy on me! I will never disobey your orders ever again!”_ _Catherine pleaded as he used his cravat to gently bind her hands together._

_“You, milady, have been insubordinate and treacherous for the last time! I am afraid that you must pay the price lest your behavior worsen to include even more culinary crimes against His Majesty’s Navy! Now bend over!”_

_“No, please do not whip me!” Catherine gasped as she bent over the desk and Andrew lifted her skirts exposing her bare bottom._

_“The shame! You are positively dripping!” he dipped a finger between her legs. “I fear that a whipping is the least of your worries!” he undid his breeches and slid his hardened member up and down between her slick folds._

_“Sir, I do not know if I can take it anymore!” she moaned and looked back at him with a grin to reassure him that she was enjoying herself._

_“I suppose that I will just have to put you out of your misery!” he thrust himself inside of her roughly._

_“Oh! Oh!”_

As the morning sunlight glared in his face, Andrew rolled over with a contented sigh as he proceeded to tend to his morning wood. _“What a lovely dream!”_ he smiled to himself.

While James and his crew were delighted at how well things were going for them, Jack Sparrow grew more and more nervous with each passing day as the two ships crossed the Atlantic. On more than one occasion, Sparrow tried to lose the pursuing _Dauntless_ by changing heading. He even took the risk of sailing in a circle once. But each time, James compensated and continued to get closer and closer to the _Black Pearl_. After passing through the Straight of Gibraltar into the Mediterranean Sea, Sparrow started to feel a sense of panic. As they rounded the bend between Tunisia and Malta, Sparrow had Gibbs join him in his cabin.

“I’m sorry, mate, but I have to do it. I cannot afford to put off this meeting with that Turk any longer. I’m gonna have to ask Tia for help!” Jack explained as he searched frantically for a bottle of rum to help calm his nerves.

“Jack, that sea witch will hang you up by your ears if you ask for something stupid!” Gibbs protested. “I want no part of this!”

“I need a witness to whatever accord she and I strike,” he pushed Gibbs down into an empty chair. Giving up on his search for rum, Jack prepared to summon Tia Dalma to request her aid. He pulled out a coconut shell which contained some bones of a bird inside and started rattling it around mumbling to himself as if performing an arcane ritual. After a while, as nothing seemed to be happening, he chucked the object over his shoulder and started to shout, “Tia! Tia Dalma! Ol’ Jackie needs your aid!”

Gibbs could not help to roll his eyes as it appeared that Sparrow had no idea what he was doing. Suddenly, all of the candles in the room went out. “What the devil?” Gibbs gasped.

“What do you want with me? How dare you disturb me after the trouble you caused when you came to my bayou only but weeks ago!” Tia snarled as she was illuminated by all of the candles reigniting themselves under her influence.

“Tia, love, sorry about that, but I’m in a desperate bind and could use your help. I’m willing to strike a bargain and offer you something you cannot refuse!”

“And what could ye possibly do for me that I could not do for myself?”

Jack cautiously approached Tia, and once comfortable that she was not going to slap him, he whispered into her ear, “I will do everything that I can to find out how to release you from your mortal bonds, Tia. Or would you rather me call you Calypso?”

Tia visibly shuddered upon hearing her true name from Jack’s lips. “How do you know about that?” she asked wiping a stray tear from her cheek.

“Love, we’ve known each other a long time. And in more ways than one,” he winked at Gibbs. “I have my ways of learning things. I already know where to find most of the pieces of eight. Just need to find out the finer details of the ritual.”

“And what must I do for you in return?”

“I need you to stir up a good hurricane to throw the commodore off me tail. If you can’t do it, surely one of your Olympian friends can manage it. Besides, if he catches me and I hang, do you really think anyone else out there would do for you what I have offered?”

“You want me to murder over eight hundred men to save your sorry arse? Jack—,” she started to protest.

“There’s no need for murdering anybody! Just get the storm between me and him so I can make my escape and lose him. Nobody is forcing him to sail into it! If he does, that’s on him and not the fault of neither you nor I!”

“And how long must I wait for you to hold up your end of the deal, mortal?” she crossed her arms.

“A year or two, or three?”

“One year should be adequate.”

“So you agree to the deal?”

“We must seal the deal,” she pulled a knife from her belt grabbing Jack’s hand and slitting his palm.

“Ow! What are you doing? Barbossa was clearly a bad influence on you!”

Having slit her own palm, she joined hands with Jack, “I, Tia Dalma, promise to conjure a hurricane to provide Jack—“

“It’s Captain!”

“—Sparrow a means of escaping the clutch of the _HMS Dauntless_. Now you say your part.”

“I, _Captain_ ,” he emphasized, “Jack Sparrow, promise to release Tia Dalma from her mortal bonds within a year’s time.”

“It’s done then. And if you fail to deliver, I will give you the Black Spot myself!”

“And what if you don’t hold up your part of the deal? You know how fickle you can be. I’m counting on this storm!”

“If I fail you, then I must face the Almighty and whatever judgment He wishes to bestow upon me for breaking my vow. Now farewell!” she took her leave and disappeared into thin air spooking Jack and Gibbs.

“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph she gives me the creeps!” Gibbs shivered and crossed himself before drinking from his flask. “I hope you know what you’re doing, Jack.”

“I don’t have a clue as to what I am doing, but I’ve at least bought me-self some time,” Jack took Gibbs’ flask and took long drink.

“When I served under Norrington, he was always good to me. Did quite a lot to try to help me get off drinking; told me I was a fine sailor and that it would be a shame to lose me to the bottle. I must admit that I hope nobody gets hurt.”

“Norrington is stubborn, but he isn’t daft. It’ll be fine!” Jack handed Gibbs back his now empty flask and walked away.

Back in Cuba in her shack in the bayou, Tia peered into her cauldron as she prepared to perform the necessary rituals to conjure up the hurricane Sparrow had requested. Closing her eyes, she summoned forth a vision of the _Dauntless_ and her crew wanting to get an idea of what the men Jack feared so much were like. As if she were really on board, she walked on the deck catching glimpses of various sailors. Reaching the quarterdeck, she found two men she recognized as they had stood with Catherine on the day Sparrow was to be executed at Fort Charles.

 _“Commodore James Norrington and Lieutenant Andrew Gillette,”_ she smiled faintly as her invisible form approached them closer. Just as she had done to Catherine, and unbeknownst to them, she placed a thumb on each of their foreheads. Overwhelmed with what she saw, her trance was broken as she stumbled backwards in her shack dropping the clay pot she held in her hands causing it to shatter. “What have I agreed to do?” Tia began to weep. “May the Almighty forgive me! Where there were once three strong strands bound together, there will soon only be two! Innocent blood will be shed this day.”

Having made significant gains in getting closer to the _Black Pearl_ , the men of the _Dauntless_ were in bright spirits and passing around spyglasses to get a glimpse of Sparrow and his crew frantically trying to gain speed and get further ahead. Suddenly, Theodore thought he could see black clouds and lightning in the distance off of their port side. He handed Andrew his spyglass so that he could also get a look.

“What the blazes?” Andrew muttered. “The way those clouds are swirling I would say it’s a hurricane. But it’s impossible! Quick, go and get James. He needs to see this. Whatever it is, it’s moving fast.”

Arriving on deck and observing the clouds, James frowned, “We haven’t the time to change to our storm sails. We best reverse course and return to Gibraltar and await Sparrow there.”

“But, sir, we’ve come this far and have gotten so close to finally nabbing Sparrow. The crew are in excellent morale, and we have well-seasoned sailors onboard,” Theo noted.

“We’ve managed through quite horrid storms before,” Andrew nodded enthusiastically. “Why let Sparrow get off so easily this time?”

While James appreciated their confidence in being able to handle such a storm, something did not quite sit right with him. Any other time during their efforts to capture Sparrow, James might have felt reckless enough to chase him through such a storm. This time, however, his conscience told him to be patient in that he had him cornered either way. His lieutenants watched as the gears turned in his head trying to decide what to do.

“Perhaps I will allow this to be one of those rare moments where we can have the crew vote on the matter,” James finally stated. “We haven’t much time to decide as this storm will soon be upon us. What say you?”

“I’ll start going deck to deck to see what the men wish to do,” Theo stated before running off to perform the task.

“I’ll gather the senior officers,” Andrew patted James on the back.

It did not take long for the two lieutenants to complete their tasks. The other seniors officers and the deck crew had gathered under Andrew’s supervision, and Theo explained that those below deck were quite verbal in their support to carry on through the storm.

“As we do not know the exact nature of this storm that has suddenly set upon us and as it may prove to be very dangerous,” James explained to all those present, “I wanted to be sure that the men on this ship had the opportunity to have a say as to what course of action we take. Those in favor of turning back to Gibraltar?”

Several men raised their hands and answered, “Aye!”

“Those in favor of pressing on through the storm?”

“Aye!” a large number of the men on deck shouted as they drew their swords including Andrew and Theodore.

“I’m prepared to thrust my sword through one of those pirates’ hearts for ye, commodore!” an old grizzled sailor shouted stirring the men into further frenzy.

“Secure all loose gear and batten down the hatches! Close all portholes and watertight doors!” James started to order feeling encouraged that his men felt such loyalty to him and his cause despite how he had treated them in recent months.

Soon enough, the sky became blackened as the wind started quickly to pick up until it was almost a roar. The rain started coming down in sheets as the men started to secure themselves to the ship however possible. Despite how experienced the crew was in sailing through storms, it soon became clear that this storm was certainly otherworldly and perhaps even sent by Poseidon himself.

Wigs and hats discarded quite early on in the storm, James, Andrew, and Theo ran about doing their best to help where it was needed. Theo soon found himself calling for additional sailors from below decks to take the places of those who had been washed overboard. He quickly lost count of how many of these trips he needed to make. Andrew almost single-handedly managed to strike the royal sails on the mizzenmast as most of his young sailors started to panic and ran below deck. Even James found himself with rope burns to both of his hands in assisting with striking the uppermost sails of the main mast. As yet another wave crashed over the deck, he started to regret the decision to go through the storm as he listened to the screams of his men in terror for their very lives.

It was difficult to say how long it was since they had entered it, but certainly they were soon to break free from the storm. Although he had led the crew well during the entire ordeal, James suddenly froze and stared at the chaos surrounding him in horror. Several paces away, Andrew watched on feeling sorry for his friend and what would most certainly be considered his worst failure yet. Suddenly, the sound of ropes snapping and wood cracking above them caught his attention. Looking up, Andrew saw that top of the mizzenmast was about to come crashing down upon James who had taken no notice that he was in mortal danger.

“James, move!” Andrew shouted trying to get his friend’s attention. Seeing James still frozen in place, Andrew instinctively ran and pushed him out of the way just in time.

Being tackled and shaken back to reality, James felt himself landing hard onto the deck. Simultaneously feeling and hearing a crash close to his vicinity, he heard the crew shouting and running towards him. It was then that he heard Andrew’s weak moans. Slapping himself to sharpen his dulled senses, James rolled over onto his hands and knees. It was then that he saw what had happened. Andrew’s still form lay still beneath a piece of the mizzenmast. James frantically crawled to his friend’s side and felt small comfort that, at least for the time being, Andrew was still alive and conscious.

“Jamie, I cannot feel my legs,” Andrew managed to say as his teeth chattered. “I’m so cold!”

“Andrew, stay still,” James gently stroked Andrew’s pale face. “I need help!” he then shouted desperately for assistance in getting the piece of mast off of Andrew’s broken body. Already aware of the accident, several men were surrounding them within a matter of seconds. Ignoring the splinters piercing his hands, James assisted the men in pulling the large beam up and off of Andrew. Seeing Andrew’s midsection soaked in his own blood, James felt faint and fell to one knee. “Find Mr. Stanley!” he ordered the men to find the ship’s surgeon.

“Oh God, please no,” Theo clasped a hand over his mouth upon discovering the scene.

By this time, the preternatural storm was easing off almost as quickly as it came. The winds could almost have been described as pleasant, and the rain fell softly. Those present on the deck not actively ensuring that the ship was secure could not help but to watch on in silence as James continued to attempt to provide Andrew with some degree of comfort.

Finally, Mr. Stanley who had been below deck tending to other injured crewmen arrived. After quickly taking a look at his injuries, Stanley pursed his lips. “Let’s get him moved inside,” he motioned for some of the men to assist him.

“We can take him to my cabin,” James offered. “There will be more room there for you to work.”

As the men gently lifted Andrew who was doing his best not to shout out in pain, Stanley grabbed James by the sleeve stopping him. After James looked him in his eyes, Stanley dropped his gaze and frowned shaking his head, “There’s nothing that can be done. I’m sorry, commodore. I fear he hasn’t much time. The best thing that we can do for him is to give him comfort.”

Despite the shock of the finality of Stanley’s prognosis, James nodded and ran inside his cabin to return to Andrew’s side. Stanley followed behind and joined him to continue to act as if he were actively attempting to treat Andrew only in order to provide him with reassurance that all would be well soon.

As a small glimmer of sunlight started to peak into the windows and James covered Andrew with a blanket, he noticed a look in Andrew’s eyes. After they made eye contact, Andrew found the strength to say, “It’s alright, James. I know what is coming. I’m not afraid.”

“Clear the room!” Theodore commanded knowing James and Andrew needed a moment alone without an audience as it was clear that Andrew would slip away quite soon. “Take as long as you need. I will supervise the crew and start overseeing the repairs.”

“Good man, Theo,” Andrew rasped and reached out for Theo’s hand. “You look out for our Jamie. He’s going to need you now more than ever. He’s more bark than bite, you know, so do not be afraid to give him a piece of your mind from time to time. Godspeed.”

“Godspeed, Andrew,” Theo’s voice faltered as he squeezed Andrew’s hand before running out of the cabin.

“You’re a brave lad, lieutenant,” the ship chaplain was the only one other than James who had remained behind.

“The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom then shall I fear?”

“Well done."

“I do not fear for myself, sir. My concern is for those that I am leaving behind,” he turned his gaze to James briefly.

“I certainly understand. I will be swift, as I know your time left is short,” the chaplain assured James and Andrew as he opened his Book of Common Prayer. “Lord, have mercy upon us.”

“Christ, have mercy upon us,” James and Andrew replied.

“May almighty God have mercy on you, forgive you your sins, and bring you to everlasting life.”

“Amen,” the three said in unison.

“In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ  
I lay my hands on you, Andrew Gillette.  
May the Lord in His mercy and love uphold you  
by the grace and power of the Holy Spirit.  
May He deliver you from all evil,  
give you light and peace,  
and bring you to everlasting life.”

“Amen.”

“Andrew Gillette, go forth upon your journey from this world,  
in the name of God the Father almighty who created you;  
in the name of Jesus Christ who suffered death for you;  
in the name of the Holy Spirit who strengthens you;  
in communion with the blessed saints,  
and aided by angels and archangels,  
and all the armies of the heavenly host.

May your portion this day be in peace,  
and your dwelling in heavenly Jerusalem."

“Amen."

“Go in grace, lad,” the chaplain closed his prayer book and squeezed Andrew’s hand, “for the Lord Jesus says, ‘Today you will be with Me in Paradise.’"

“Thank you, sir,” Andrew smiled weakly.

“I will continue my prayers just outside the door, commodore, so that if I am needed further, just come and fetch me,” the chaplain excused himself.

“I’m so weak. Please come closer,” Andrew requested.

“Shh, I’m here,” James could not help but to gently stroke his friend’s hair.

“I have lived a good life. I feel no shame. My only small pang of regret is that for the past few months I took Catherine’s love for granted. But all was mended between us before we left port, so I am at peace. Please promise to me that you will take care of her and make sure that she is safe. I fear for her being lonely without me.”

“I will,” he nodded.

“Promise!”

“I vow to you, Andrew, upon my life that I will be a guardian to Catherine all my days.”

“When you return to Port Royal, will you please tell Catie how much I loved her, too?”

“Of course, I will.”

“James, I have been and always shall be your friend. I have no regrets in regard to you and I. None whatsoever.”

“This is all my fault,” James only now started to weep as the adrenaline rush had worn off and he was now facing the reality of what was to happen imminently as Andrew started to address him intimately. “It should have been me. It should have!”

“No, you have too much life left to live,” he shook his head as a trickle of blood started to stream from the corner of his mouth.

“But you do, too, and at Catie’s side!”

“She more than anyone else understands that when the Almighty calls us to Him we cannot refuse. While cut short, I have lived a full life abundant with love.” He struggled to clear his throat, and James noted how grey his skin now appeared. “My sight is going. I’m afraid that I will soon be gone. Please, Jamie, hold my hand so that I do not feel alone in this moment.”

“No!” James squeezed Andrew’s hand to his chest with desperation. “Please do not leave me. Andrew, I love you,” he wept.

“Aye, I love you, too, James,” a tear escaped the corner of Andrew’s eye.

Andrew coughed weakly and suddenly went still with his arm falling slack in James’ grip. A little bit of air left his lips as he breathed his last. James watched as Andrew’s pupils dilated and his brown eyes now stared vacantly at the ceiling. James gently closed Andrew’s eyelids before leaning over and kissing him tenderly on his brow.

At this time, Theodore, who had given his orders to the crew, stood outside James’ cabin with one hand against the door whispering silent prayers with the chaplain for his friends inside. Noting the sudden still silence inside the cabin, he began to shed some tears knowing that Andrew likely had passed. After a few brief moments of quiet, he could hear a strangled scream of anguish erupting from James and the sound of glass shattering. Distressed, Theo prepared to enter the cabin but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

“Let him be, lad,” the ship’s chaplain frowned.

“Give him a moment. He needs to let it out,” Mr. Stanley added. “When he’s ready, he’ll come.”

“What is the status of the rest of the crew?” Theo asked him.

“Outside of those washed overboard and lost to us in the storm, there are no other deaths other than poor Lieutenant Gillette. There are many injuries some of which are quite bad, but thankfully none are at risk of loss of life or limb unless they experience complications. Once the commodore is finished, will ye help me prepare the body after the chaplain finishes his prayers?”

“Aye,” Theo nodded.

After letting out his feelings of anguish and rage, James sat in a chair next to Andrew’s lifeless body and again held his hand for a time in silence as tears rolled down his cheeks. The shock of it all finally wearing off, James dried his face, took off his coat, and reverently covered Andrew’s face with it before exiting his cabin.

“Sir!” the surgeon stood at attention as James emerged.

“At ease,” James, who had Andrew’s blood on his face, hands, and waistcoat, managed to speak.

“James, is he—” Theo could not bring himself to ask feeling fresh tears threatening to spill over.

“Yes, Theo, Andrew is gone,” he stated calmly.

“Sir, if it is alright with ye, once the prayers are said, Mr. Groves and I will start to prepare the body,” Stanley put a comforting hand on James’ shoulder.

Thinking briefly, James stated, “Lieutenant Groves appears to have things well in hand at the moment. Actually, I wish to help you if you do not mind.”

“Of course, sir. I will have a couple midshipmen help us carry him down to the carpenter’s shop.”

“No, we will do it in my cabin,” he protested. “It’s what he deserves.”

“As you wish. I will have the midshipmen gather some items, ask the sailmaker to be on hand, and will join you and the chaplain shortly.”

“Theo, what is the ship’s status?”

“We’ve only lost the mizzenmast, sir, and we have no damage that would be considered threatening unless we were to get caught up in another storm. A few cannons broke loose, but the teams performed excellently in keeping so many of our guns secured.”

“And the crew?”

“The officers are still awaiting full reports from those under their command as they take note of who is present and accounted for, but currently our rough estimate is that we’ve lost one-third of our crew overboard in the storm. Most lost were inexperienced and trying to replace seasoned crew who were lost at the height of that unworldly hurricane. Surgeon says that no one on board currently has any life threatening injuries.”

“A third of the crew lost?” he wanted Theo to clarify.

“Yes, but it’s only an estimate, sir.”

James walked to the rail and leaned on it with his blood stained hands feeling distressed. “Over two hundred and fifty souls needlessly lost,” he closed his eyes. “The admiralty will have my head.”

“James, you cannot help that we were hit by such a storm. I swear it came from nowhere!” Theo tried to reassure him.

“We did not have to go through it. We could have escaped it.”

“Even if there was a way, the crew, including Andrew and myself, were in full support of pushing through the storm lest we lose Sparrow.”

“We could have returned to the Straight of Gibraltar and lie in wait for him there. Theo, even with all of your support, there is nothing that will get me out of this. Admiral Cartwright warned me about being impatient. The lives of my crew are my responsibility.”

“Stop fretting. It won’t help or change anything. For now, just be with Andrew. I will handle everything else. As we can still manage with the other two masts intact, do you have any orders regarding our heading?”

“I’m clearly lacking in good judgment and very emotionally compromised at the moment, lieutenant. Do you have any suggestions?”

“I think we should make way for Tripoli. I know it is very risky as we do not know how the Pasha will receive us when we arrive, but it would be best to reach a port and ensure everything is in order in the event another storm arises. If things were not so delicate and the crew not so shaken, I would otherwise say we should head to Istanbul and make port there where we would at least have assistance from the British embassy. ”

“I agree with your assessment. I had similar thoughts, but it is nice to hear them echoed in your words. Please give the orders.”

“Aye, sir,” Theo nodded.

After the required prayers were said, with the surgeon Mr. Stanley’s instruction, James assisted him in tending to Andrew’s corpse. The midshipmen had brought Andrew’s sea chest to James’ cabin so that he could be dressed in a clean, undamaged uniform and that any sentimental items could be secured and returned to Catherine. James found Andrew’s beloved pocket watch still inside his waistcoat pocket, and although now broken having been crushed, he placed it in the chest knowing Catherine would have wanted it back either way. He then gently removed the poesy ring from Andrew’s finger, and after securing it onto a bit of string, slipped it into his own waistcoat pocket lest it get lost in the chest among Andrew’s belongings. They then started to undress him. James could not help but to grimace seeing the gruesome damage done to Andrew’s body by the mast.

“Do you think he suffered much?” James could not help but to ask as they started to clean the blood off of him.

“He certainly was in pain, but I think the Lord spared him to some extent in that when I examined him it was clear that his back was broken quite high up his spine. I know that this is a terrible, deeply personal loss for you, commodore, but take comfort in that God showed him mercy and took him to heaven. Surviving something like this would have been hell for Lieutenant Gillette. He would never had walked again. He would have been sitting in his own shit and piss and needing someone to tend to all of his needs. And he never would have made love to his wife again as he would have been impotent. If he had survived this, I think his spirit would have been crushed even more than his body.”

“It should have been me,” he started to get fresh tears in his eyes as he brushed a bit of stray hair out of Andrew’s face and gently started wiping the blood that had spilt from his mouth. “He saved my life.”

“And he knew that you would have done the same for him, sir. Survivor’s guilt is only natural, but be sure not to let it consume you lest his death be in vain.”

“He was a saint.”

“Aye, he was.” Stanley handed James a small pair of shears, “Be sure to get a lock of hair for his wife.”

After washing Andrew’s body, James and the surgeon dressed him in a clean uniform and slid a fresh canvas sail underneath him. James secured some heavy iron chains around Andrew’s ankles and placed two cannon balls at his feet. The sailmaker then came in and began to sew up the improvised burial shroud.

“He deserves better than this. He deserves a burial on land with a gravestone where his wife can at least visit him. But I know that it is all we can do given how far we are from home,” James frowned.

When the sailmaker neared the end of his work, he asked, “Commodore, before I cover his face, do you want one last moment with your first mate?”

James approached one final time, gently stroked Andrew’s cold cheek, kissed his brow once again, and whispered quietly, “Godspeed, my dearest friend.”

As the sailmaker finished sewing up the sail being sure to put the final stitch through Andrew’s nose, a tradition to ensure a sailor was truly deceased, Mr. Stanley put a gentle hand on James’ shoulder, “Sir, please let me wash and tend to your hands now. You still have quite a few splinters and the rope burns need dressing.” James, feeling quite numb at this point, quietly nodded his head allowing himself to be sat in a chair and nursed by the surgeon.

As the sun had set by this time, it was decided to delay Andrew’s sea burial until dawn. Theo and Mr. Stanley encouraged James to borrow Theo’s cabin and get some much needed sleep, but he declined in favor of keeping watch over Andrew’s body as it lie in repose in his own cabin. During the moments that he needed a break, James took the time to visit below the decks with other crew members who had been injured knowing that his presence would encourage them and keep up crew morale despite their heavy losses.

During his night watch, James spent much time in thought and allowed himself the occasional glass of whiskey in spite of knowing the risk of relapsing into overconsumption once again. He started to sort through a wide array of feelings. He felt a bit odd in that he felt Andrew’s dying words brought him more comfort than his own likely brought Andrew. He was gladdened to know that Andrew did not express any lingering pain for all the distress he had caused him in recent months with his brief fall from grace. A small part of him wished he had confessed to Andrew that he had slept with the prostitute Giselle when he was in Tortuga amongst other things.

Of course, James spent some time thinking about Catherine. Again, he felt mixed feelings concerning her. He wondered if he should have asked Andrew if he intended for him to marry her in order to care for her as he wished. And then he felt guilt again for having forbidden feelings for her all these years.

 _“How could I possibly face her now let alone even consider asking for her hand in marriage? It’s my fault her beloved husband is dead, and she’s been left with no children!”_ James sighed and sipped at his whiskey.

As dawn approached, a ragged Theodore appeared and took a seat at James’ side. Neither of the men had bothered to do any personal grooming after the storm had subsided, and it was quite clear that Theo got as little sleep as James. James got up and filled his glass and a glass for Theo with a little bit of whiskey. Theo nodded with gratitude and accepted the offered drink.

After a shared moment of silence, Theodore weakly lifted his tumbler and toasted, “To absent friends.”

“To absent friends,” James clinked his tumbler against Theo’s and they both drank.

His shoulders shaking as he started to cry, Theo noted, “When the storm worsened yesterday, he stayed at his post when his trainees ran. I will be proud if I can only be half the man he was.”

“As will I,” James shed fresh tears putting a hand on Theo’s shoulder. “He was the best man that I ever knew.”

After washing his face and allowing Mr. Stanley to redress the rope burns on his hands, James gave the word for the men to start to gather on deck. James always disliked this part of his duties, the part that required him to preside over the sea burials of crewmen who had died in the line of duty, but it only seemed ten times worse due to the fact that this time the fallen was his most beloved friend. Despite the underlying personal feelings that he had, James put on a brave face and repressed his anguish as the bosun oversaw the moving of Andrew’s wrapped body, which was now also covered with the Red Ensign flag, from James’ cabin to the deck where the crew had assembled. Noting the entire crew present being as disheveled as he and Theo were, James felt it appropriate that their outward appearances reflected what they were feeling in their hearts just as in biblical times those in mourning wore ashes and sackcloth. James, still covered in Andrew’s blood, nodded to the bosun indicating that he was ready for the proceedings to begin.

“Ship’s company, off hats!” the bosun ordered.

Taking out his Common Book of Prayer once again, the chaplain began to read:

“At this time of sorrow  
the Lord is in our midst  
and consoles us with His word:  
Blessed are the sorrowful; they shall be comforted.

Blessed be God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,  
the Father of mercies and the God of all consolation.  
He comforts us in all our afflictions  
and thus enables us to comfort those who grieve  
with the same consolation we have received from Him.”

“If any of ye wish to speak in tribute to our fallen brother, please step forward,” the bosun indicated where they should stand. The crew quickly queued up one after another to speak.

James was touched by how many wished to speak kind words and recall fond memories of Andrew. From young ship boys all the way up through the ranks to the officers, it was clear just how beloved Andrew was to the crew of the _Dauntless_ and how he had touched all of their lives in some way. It took all of James’ strength to maintain his composure when young Samuel Crosby, the lad that had been responsible for the accident that had injured Andrew years earlier, wept as he stated, “Lieutenant Gillette was the closest thing to a da that I ever had.”

After Theo, who was the last officer to pay tribute to Andrew, finished speaking, James knew it was up to him to close. He thought quite a lot overnight about what he should say, even considered writing it down. In the end, he decided to merely speak from the heart. Taking a deep breath, James started: “In accordance with the traditions of His Majesty’s Navy and the Church of England, we have assembled here today to pay final respects to our honored dead. He did not feel his sacrifice a vain or empty one, and we will not debate his profound wisdom at these proceedings. As many of you know, Andrew Gillette was not only my first lieutenant but also my dearest friend. Devoted husband to his wife Catherine, a loyal subject of the crown, and a good Christian man, Andrew is someone that we should all aspire to be like. Even now, I find that my words are inadequate to fully express my love and admiration for him. Having heard all of your tributes this day, it is clear that he was loved by many. I only hope that I may live my life in a way that does nothing but to honor his dear memory.” Placing his hand on Andrew’s body, he concluded, “Farewell, Andrew, gentle soul, you will be dearly missed.” ****

After a few moments of silence, the bosun quietly instructed the crew to prepare to release Andrew’s body into the sea. The chaplain spoke the committal, “We have entrusted our brother Lieutenant Andrew Maurice Gillette to God’s mercy, and we now commit his body to the deep, to be turned into corruption, looking for the resurrection of the body, when the Sea shall give up her dead, and the life of the world to come, through our Lord Jesus Christ; who at His coming shall change our vile body, that it may be like His glorious body, according to the mighty working, whereby He is able to subdue all things to Himself.”

“Honors, hup!” the bosun shouted as the crew saluted Andrew as his shrouded body slid off the board from beneath the Red Ensign and dropped to the sea. James closed his eyes and felt as if his heart would burst through his chest as he heard a splash indicating that the sea had claimed Andrew as her own. He did not care if anyone saw that a tear was streaming down his cheek.

“Our brother Andrew has fallen asleep in the peace of Christ.  
As we leave his body here, we entrust him,  
with faith and hope in everlasting life,  
to the love and mercy of our Father  
and surround him with our love and prayer.  
In baptism, he was made by adoption a child of God.  
At the eucharist he was sustained and fed.  
God now welcomes him to His table in heaven  
to share in eternal life with all the saints.

God of all consolation,  
your Son Jesus Christ was moved to tears  
at the grave of Lazarus his friend.  
Look with compassion on your children in their loss;  
give to troubled hearts the light of hope  
and strengthen in us the gift of faith,  
in Jesus Christ our Lord.”

“Amen.”

One of the crew members started to play his violin, and all sang together the hymn “Our God, Our Help in Ages Past.” Together, under the chaplain’s prompting, they then recited the Lord’s Prayer. After sharing some further words of comfort from scripture, the chaplain pronounced the blessing to end the service:

“May Christ the good shepherd  
enfold you with love,  
fill you with peace,  
and lead you in hope,  
to the end of your days;  
and the blessing of God almighty,  
the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit,  
be among you and remain with you always.”

“Amen.”

“Ship’s company, dismissed!” the bosun ordered and the crew began to disperse solemnly. 

“Are you going to be alright, sir?” Theo quietly asked James who stood still watching the men returning to their stations.

“I feel that it is too early to say. I must admit that I believe that I am still in a bit of a state of shock over it all.”

“Aye, we all are.”

“It was all so needless and reckless. I made a promise to Andrew that I would look after Catherine, and yet I already fear that I cannot possibly face her from this day forth. Her beloved husband is dead because of me.”

“We will all help look after her, James. We’re a family. She cares for you very much, you know. Perhaps even as much as Andrew cared for you within the boundaries that she was allowed to as a married woman. I think you have no reason to fear her scorning you.”

At that moment, emotionally drained and vulnerable, James nearly confessed to Theodore all within his heart pertaining to his love for Catherine, his fears and concerns about moving forward. He never once considered having her to himself a possibility as he had always counted on Andrew living out his life to ripe old age. But as he opened his mouth to pour out his feelings and thoughts, he was interrupted by shouts of the crewmen on the poop deck. James and Theo ran to see what the fuss was about.

“Sir, there are several ships heading towards our starboard bow,” the officer handed James a spyglass so that he could see for himself.

“Their flags are green with three white crescent moons in a circle. Those ships are from Tripolitania,” James explained. “Continue on our present course for now. We will reduce speed as they get closer. We will make sure to make no movements that appear to be acts of aggression. Hoist the colors.”

“I wonder what their intentions are,” Theo thought aloud.

“Well, we’ll find out soon enough,” James sighed. “You’re now acting first lieutenant by the way.”

“But sir, some of the other officers are more experienced than I.”

“You’re only a little younger than Andrew was when he took on the role. You’ve performed admirably already. I have confidence that you will do well.”

Once the ships were finally close enough to the _Dauntless_ , their lead ship signaled that they wished to board. James had one of his crew signal back that they were granted permission. The captain and a couple of his officers walked across a plank.

“I am Yusuf,” the captain introduced himself. “Who is in command of this vessel?”

“This is my ship,” James stepped forward. “I am Commodore James Norrington in naval service of His Royal Highness George the Second King of Great Britain and Ireland.”

“Commodore, you and your men look as if you have been to Jahannam and back,” Yusuf took in sight of the damaged ship, the ragged crew, and James’ unkempt appearance including his blood-stained waistcoat. “What has happened to you? And why are you in our waters?”

“Your use of the idiom is likely not far from the truth. We were in pursuit of a man condemned to death for crimes against the crown and citizens of the empire when we encountered a storm with hurricane force winds. It ended as quickly as it had started and felt as if it was almost supernatural in origin. We suffered heavy losses and have lost our mizzenmast. I felt that it would be prudent to dock in Tripoli to finish repairs and give our wounded a chance to rest before returning to our home in Port Royal in the West Indies.”

“We have heard rumors of this storm of which you speak. My ships will escort you to port in Tripoli, but for now, I am afraid that it will be done with you as my prisoners. While the Pasha is working hard with your government to reach a treaty of mutual cooperation, we must take every precaution. Your ship had no colors hoisted at the time we had spotted you, so Mehmed Pasha or one of his viziers will want to interrogate you to test your tale to determine if you are telling the truth of your origins. If you are found to be lying, you will be severely punished as infidels.”

“I understand your concerns,” James bowed slightly, “and I apologize for not flying under any colors in your waters. We lost our primary flag in the storm, and we had just used the spare in a ceremony to bury our dead.”

“Oh, I do believe you, commodore, but it’s all just a matter of protocol in these parts,” Yusuf explained. “After Ahmed Karamanli staged a coup and effectively guaranteed our independence from the Ottomans in 1711, he started to hire corsairs to help expand our city’s economy. His son Mehmed has continued this practice, but as you imagine, dealing with men like corsairs, you can never be entirely certain where their loyalties lie. I think you, the scourge of piracy in the eastern Caribbean, would know that better than anyone,” he smiled.

“Aye, and my life has been touched personally by those involved in the crimes of piracy including the very man we were pursuing.”

Coming to an agreement, although uncomfortable with being considered prisoners, James ordered his men to assist in preparing the _Dauntless_ to be towed. After less than a day’s journey, they arrived safely in Tripoli. Once again, Yusuf reassured James as he clapped him in irons that he had no need to fear the Pasha as long as he told the truth. A government official fluent in English acting as a guide escorted a manacled James and Theodore with their assigned guards through the streets of Tripoli until they reached the seat of the Karamanli government.

Leaving Theo with the guards, the guide escorted James into a room where a man wearing a turban sat smoking a pipe. After words were shared in their native tongue, the guide spoke to James as he removed the manacles from his wrists, “The Pasha wants to know if you would like some coffee and something to eat.”

“That would be lovely. Please thank the Pasha on my behalf,” James looked to his guide to translate for him.

“You can tell me yourself. I’m no barbarian, commodore!” the Pasha started laughing.

“My apologies, Your Excellency! I pray that I have not offended you,” he blushed.

“Not at all! Yusuf has already told me of how you ended up here, but while we wait for our food and drink, I want to hear the tale from your own mouth.”

“Of course.”

Feeling somewhat embarrassed at his messy appearance while addressing the ruler of a kingdom, James proceeded to tell the tale of chasing his target for months all over the Atlantic and of the storm that they had encountered. The Pasha puffed away on his pipe listening intently to James only occasionally stopping him to ask for clarification and to offer him some coffee and things to eat. 

“What is the name of this man you are so desperate to bring to justice?” the Pasha asked when James had finished.

“Captain Jack Sparrow.”

“Ah, that treacherous infidel!” he shook his fist. “Not only is he in league with the infamous Ammand the corsair, but he also came here many years ago posing as a British lord. Tried to seduce my daughter and take her way. She was devastated at his lies when he left without her. I hear that his appearances have greatly changed since we encountered him.”

“Yes, he would find it very difficult now to pass as a member of any kingdom's aristocracy.”

“I have a sense that you seek him not only as a servant of the crown but also out of a personal need for justice. I sit here looking at you, Commodore Norrington, and can tell that you’re a grieving man.”

“Thanks in part to Sparrow’s actions, my former fiancee rejected me for another. My career is likely in deep jeopardy. And now I sit here in clothing stained with the blood of my dearest friend whose body now lies in the deeps of the sea all while facing the possibility of imprisonment or execution as your prisoner, Your Excellency,” James frowned and fought back tears.

“You have fallen on such difficult times,” the Pasha frowned. “I will pray that Allah have mercy on your friend’s soul and that He will give you comfort in your time of mourning. Sometimes Allah sees fit to test righteous men such as ourselves to teach and to bless us. As Mahmud ibn Labid reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, ‘If Allah loves a people, then He afflicts them with trials. Whoever is patient has the reward of patience, and whoever is impatient has the fault of impatience.’ The Prophet also said, ‘Verily, with greater rewards come greater trials. Verily, when Allah loves a people He will test them. Whoever is pleased will be satisfied, and whoever is displeased will have indignation.’”

“‘And not only so, but we glory in tribulation also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope: and hope maketh not ashamed.’ ‘My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing,’” he replied quoting the Bible.

“The Apostle Paul’s Epistle to the Romans and the Epistle of James,” the Pasha winked.

“Yes,” James nodded impressed at the Muslim Pasha’s knowledge of Christian scriptures.

“You are no longer my prisoner, Commodore James Norrington. You and your men are now my guests. You are a kindred spirit, and I can tell that you have been truthful with me. I will provide anything that you ask so you can bind your wounds, mourn your friends, and repair your ship, and then I will send you off with blessings to your home.”

“I truly thank you, Your Excellency, for your compassion towards us in our time of grief and hardship.”

“You are most welcome!”

Mehmed Pasha’s men immediately started to assist in the necessary repairs of the _Dauntless_ while her crew took the time to recover from their ordeal. Having had a bath and finally putting on clean clothing, James sat alone in his guest room listening to the muezzin delivering the adhan from a minaret not far off. Feeling overwhelmed with emotion, James could not help but to get down on his knees and thank his Maker for sparing his life and for the kindness of his host.

Recalling part of one of King David’s psalms, he wept and prayed, “Have mercy upon me, O Lord, for I am in trouble: mine eye is consumed with grief, yea, my soul and my belly. For my life is spent with grief, and my years with sighing: my strength faileth because of mine iniquity, and my bones are consumed. I was a reproach among all mine enemies, but especially among my neighbors, and a fear to mine acquaintance: they that did see me without fled from me. I am forgotten as a dead man out of mind: I am like a broken vessel.” Wiping his eyes, he thought, _“How can I ever face her, Andrew? I cannot bear the thought of being the cause of Catherine’s pain. What a wretch I am!”_

And oh, how James suddenly longed for a bottle of rum in that moment if only to numb the ache.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I started this many years ago, this was always intended to be a fix it fic for James, and so Andrew's fate had been sealed. But I must admit having worked on this fic over the past few months, I grew a little attached to Andrew and now feel a bit sorry for sending him off even if it is to a better place. I do believe I shed a few tears writing this chapter.
> 
> Will James straighten himself out? Or is he going to end up back in Tortuga?


	19. The Dauntless Returns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: drug/alcohol use, mild gore

Time passed no differently than it had before, but for Catherine, this period of waiting for Andrew’s return to Port Royal felt full of hope as the life within her womb continued to grow. Other than some nausea in the mornings, she felt quite well and was optimistic that this was a good sign. Knowing that the _Dauntless’_ journey would take over a month each direction even if all went perfectly, Catherine hunkered down and did her best to keep herself busy around the house.

Life in Port Royal was otherwise business as usual. Of course, rumors started to swirl around the upcoming springtime nuptials of Miss Swann and her swashbuckling blacksmith William Turner. Governor Swann stopped by for tea a couple of times at Philadelphia House to have a good moan over it all as Catherine had offered him a friendly ear. They also discussed other changes and events going on in Port Royal. For one, a new manor was being built on the other side of town, and a quite large and extravagant one at that.

“You would think that as governor I would know who it is as it is clear they are quite wealthy and will no doubt be hosting any number of members of society at their home,” Weatherby shook his head. “As expected, there are many rumors which for once is a relief as it is a distraction from them speaking about my daughter and her betrothed.”

“So what are the rumors about this mysterious incoming new resident?” Catherine smiled as she served him a slice of cake.

“Some in the navy think it is a retired admiral. Some think it is the son of a plantation owner. Lastly, and to be honest, the one I fear the most, is that it is Lord Beckett of the East India Trading Company. The company has suffered quite some losses the past couple of years despite Commodore Norrington’s great gains in eradicating piracy in these parts, and it’s been said that Beckett is keen to oversee things more closely in person to help protect his investments.”

“My husband mentioned him once or twice in conversation. Said that Beckett’s why Jack Sparrow ended up becoming a pirate. Andrew has never met him, but from what he has heard, he did not sound like a person he would want to have to work for.”

“I have met him on a couple of occasions. For what he lacks in physical stature, he certainly makes up for it with his ego. And it is well known within my social circles that his senior clerk, the Scotsman Mr. Mercer, was a double agent that carried out political assassinations for both sides during the Jacobite risings. One of Mercer’s former employers, the Duke of Sandringham, ended up losing his head to a rebel!”

"A traitor to his king, his kin, and loyal only to himself. Let alone a murderer,” she cringed. “Sometimes you can tell the character of a man by the type of men he is willing to hire and entrust with his business.”

“Aye, but I have a feeling that Lord Beckett cares not for guilt by association. He only cares for money and power.”

“Both of which one cannot take with them beyond the grave!”

Also during the time in which the _Dauntless_ and her crew was busy chasing the _Black Pearl_ across the Atlantic, the parishioners of St. Peter’s Church in Port Royal welcomed their new vicar. Reverend Charles Wright was accompanied by his wife Beatrice, their three young children, and his widowed mother-in-law Mrs. Townsend. Being spry and of good health, Mrs. Townsend enjoyed helping look after her grandchildren thus allowing Beatrice to be more involved in assisting in pastoral care matters in the parish.

Having met after Sunday services, the two women soon became well acquainted as Catherine sought to help Beatrice become familiar with life in Port Royal. After getting to know each other better, Catherine felt that Beatrice’s knowledge of motherhood would be of great help in the months to come. This pregnancy making it farther along than the last one, she felt it was safe to finally divulge the news to a small number of people in whom she could place her trust. One afternoon during tea with Beatrice and Nellie, Catherine first shared her secret with them.

“Andrew is the only other soul with whom I have shared this. Given the difficulties that we have had in the past, I ask that, for now, we keep this between the three of us, but I am with child,” Catherine beamed.

“Oh, Catherine!” Nellie clapped her hands together. “How I suspected but dare not ask! Neither you nor the lieutenant ever spoke to me openly about it, but I knew that it was always a source of pain for both of you. I am so delighted!” she hugged Catherine.

“Wonderful news!” Beatrice squeezed Catherine’s hand. “Do you know how far along you are?”

“I suspect that I conceived in November, so over three months now. Andrew and I have struggled with this and have prayed for so long. I feel like we have not seen much of each other these recent months, so it is such a miracle,” she put a hand on her abdomen.

“Charles and I will be praying that all goes well for mother and child. I must say that I cannot wait for your husband to return so that I can meet him. He sounds lovely.”

“I have truly been blessed. And as long as the mission he is on is successful, I hope that I will finally have him home to myself for a while. The midwife said that it won’t be long now until I start feeling the babe moving about. I just hope that the Lord has mercy on me and that the child has a balanced temperament between the personalities of Andrew and myself. Even as a full grown man he can be quite the handful, and from what his mother told me, rest her soul, he was even worse as a boy. But I do love him to bits and cannot wait until he is in my arms again!”

About a month earlier from this, James stood on the docks of the harbor in Tripoli profoundly thanking his hosts for their kindness. As promised, Mehmed Pasha had ensured that the _Dauntless_ and her crew had every need met and pronounced several Islamic blessings upon his guests before their departure. After the Pasha left to return to his home, Yusuf pulled James aside and handed him a small pouch.

“For any pain you may feel on your journey home as you remember your deceased,” Yusuf explained.

“What is it?” James held up the drawstring pouch in curiosity.

“The finest Anatolian afyon!” he smiled warmly. “I believe the word you English use is opium. Trust me, this is even better than your laudanum concoctions. Islamic doctors have been studying and using afyon for centuries. Just chew it, and you will find all your cares and pain drifting away.”

“Thank you,” James arched his brow and pocketed the pouch inside his coat before bidding Yusuf farewell and boarding the _Dauntless_ to prepare to set sail for home.

“How are you doing, sir?” Theodore inquired as James went about performing some minor inspections on deck as the men commenced leaving the dock.

“Grateful for the kind treatment we received in our time of need. But I am eager to head home and just as equally dreading it. Despite rest, I feel quite worn,” James sighed sadly.

“Understood,” he frowned and nodded. “I’ll manage things as much as possible to get us home, sir, if you would like. And if you need to talk to someone, I’m happy to lend you an ear. I’m sure you have noticed that we have all been quite wounded by what happened.”

“Yes, I have noted that a mood of melancholy has set itself upon the crew. He was beloved by so many,” he could not find the strength to utter Andrew’s name. He swallowed hard and looked down at the wooden deck lest he start to shed fresh tears, “I fear how she will take it.”

“You mean Catherine?” Theo asked and received a nod from James. “I’m happy to go with you, James, if you want. But please do not fret over it our entire way to Port Royal. We will cross that bridge when we get to it. Just focus on getting us all home and on healing yourself.”

With the ship being well-stocked with everything needed to return to Port Royal thanks to the Pasha, the _Dauntless_ set sail with no intentions of stopping on the way home. The journey back to the Atlantic went smoothly, and once entering those waters, they were greeted with calm waters and clear skies. With the winds in their favor, they made good time.

True to his word, Theodore, still acting as first lieutenant, managed most matters on James’ behalf. Knowing that he was doing it to help James who was certainly still suffering with grief, the crew took well to following Theo’s lead, and the older well-seasoned crew kindly offered him with support or even questioned him when they knew his decisions were being made out of lack of experience. From time to time, James would emerge from his cabin to ensure all was still going well and to observe Theo and the crew. He mentally noted that, upon returning to Port Royal, he would most definitely submit the necessary paperwork to have Theo’s secondment position made permanent.

While understandably low in mood, James still managed quite well for the first half of their journey. He maintained his composure and did his best not to ruminate too much about Andrew’s death and the potential ramifications for the great loss of life that occurred due to the storm. He even managed to stay away from the bottle as tempting as it was due to the insomnia he was starting to experience as they got closer to home. Unfortunately, one night in particular finally broke his resolve.

Unable to sleep, James found himself wandering aimlessly on deck. All was quiet aside from the wind in the sails, the creaking of the rigging, and the water against the bow. Pausing momentarily admiring the star-filled sky, James could not help but to think of Andrew and how much he missed him in that moment. His reverie was suddenly disturbed by the sounds coming from below deck of a couple men shouting and a young lad crying out in fear. Immediately, James ran to see what was the matter and followed the noise to the infirmary where he saw a few sailors holding down a young midshipman as Mr. Stanley prepared a bone saw. 

“Sir, please don’t let him do it!” the lad cried out upon seeing James. “He means to cut off my leg!”

“Commodore, I’m afraid that I have no choice,” Stanley frowned. “Young Mr. Perry’s leg was crushed by a barrel that broke loose during the storm. The doctors in Tripoli and I did all that we could to save it, but it’s starting to reek of gangrene. If I delay further, he may lose his life.”

“Just give it a few more days, sir! I feel that it is getting better. Please, I’m only fourteen!” the midshipman continued to plead as tears streamed down his face.

“Gentleman, please give this young man and myself a moment alone,” James requested as he began to remove his coat and roll up his sleeves. The men, including Stanley, agreed and left the infirmary. “May I see your injured leg?”

“Yes, sir,” he nodded and uncovered it.

Seeing the mangled limb and getting a whiff of the rotting infected flesh, James motioned for the boy to recover it and did his best not to visibly react. “Midshipman Perry, I know that you are young and this is very frightening, but I am afraid that Mr. Stanley is right. Have you looked at your leg recently? Don't you smell the rot?”

After a few moments of silence, the midshipman admitted as fresh tears gathered in his eyes, “Yes, sir, I have. I know that it must be done. But I’m afraid to let him do it. I’m a coward.”

“You are not a coward. Fear is only natural,” he reassured him. “What about it frightens you? You can tell me.”

“The pain. And I do not want to lose my ability to serve in the navy!”

“Believe it or not, it was not that long ago that I myself was a young midshipman like you, and I served under a lieutenant who had to have his leg amputated just above the knee. Besides all of the other men that I knew that worked below decks that also had lost limbs in accidents and battle. You would not be the first, and you will not be the last. As long as you are willing and able, we will find you a role in which you can work.”

“That helps, but I still fear the pain.”

“I will not lie to you. It will be painful, but Mr. Stanley will do everything he can to be done quickly. I’ll have one of the men fetch some rum for you to have in order to help dull the pain a bit. And I am happy to stay with you until it is over.”

“Really?” the midshipman was taken aback a bit that a commodore would stay with a lowly sailor like himself in his moment of need.

“You have my word,” James nodded.

Again after some quiet reflection, he noted, “I did not witness it as I was injured and below deck, but everyone said how brave Lieutenant Gillette was. He was always kind to me. I suppose that I would not want to let him down. I would like you to stay. And do you think it is silly if I imagine that he is here with me, too?”

“It’s not at all silly, Mr. Perry. Not at all,” James managed a small smile. “Lieutenant Gillette was the bravest man I ever knew, and I must admit that sometimes I imagine that he is still with me, too. Shall I let the surgeon know that you are ready? We should not delay much longer lest you become septic.”

“Yes, sir, I am ready.”

James notified Mr. Stanley that his patient was now reluctantly compliant and had one of the men that was going to assist in holding the boy down quickly fetch some rum. While the final preparations were made, young Mr. Perry chugged down the rum to help dull his senses a bit. Once ready, the boy was made to bite down on a piece of wood as the men surrounded him to help hold him in place. James stood at the boy’s hip and held his hand.

Mr. Stanley worked as quickly as possible not only to attempt to limit the amount of pain and distress that he was causing but also to limit blood loss. Understandably, despite the care and preparation, Midshipman Perry screamed in agony and some degree of fear. Feeling something warm and sticky splattering onto his face, James blinked a couple times and looked down at his waistcoat to find it splattered in a spray of blood as Mr. Stanley quickly sawed away. Suddenly the boy went quiet as his eyes rolled back into his head and his face was pale and clammy with sweat.

“It’s alright,” Stanley reassured everyone who immediately looked to him feeling panicked. “The poor lad has only fainted, but stay in place lest he regain his consciousness and fight back out of confusion.”

Once finished sewing the flesh closed around the new stump, Mr. Stanley dismissed most of the men and started bandaging the wound. James remained behind frozen in place as he continued to hold the lad’s hand tightly. Finally, the young man started to regain consciousness.

“Sir?” Mr. Perry asked weakly.

James cleared his throat slightly, “It’s all over, lad. Well done. The surgeon is just finishing applying the bandage.”

“I fainted like a woman in a fit of hysterics,” the lad managed a smile as he mocked himself. “God, you look a right mess.”

“Ah, yes, thanks to you and old Stanley here I suppose.”

“Thank you for staying with me. I’m alright now.”

“You’re welcome, midshipman. You were very brave,” James patted his hand before gathering his coat and turning to leave.

“A moment, sir,” Mr. Stanley chased after James wishing to have a word with him outside earshot of the boy. “He lost more blood than I would have liked.”

“Yes, he still does look quite pale,” James sighed.

“Things could go either way for him overnight, but I think you should know that I can tell it meant the world to him that you stayed with him. As long as I can get him to stay conscious and keep drinking fluids to offset the blood he lost, I think he will be fine.”

“He’s a good boy. I pray that he regains his strength and recovers well.”

“Sir, look after yourself tonight,” Stanley said noting the sad weariness in James’ eyes.

Despite Mr. Stanley’s advice, immediately upon reaching his cabin, James began to contemplate consuming something to dull his own pain and lull himself to sleep. He could not help but to feel at fault for the boy losing his leg at such a young age. _“We did not have to go through that damned storm.”_ After removing his blood spattered clothing and putting them into some water to soak, he poured some water into the basin of his washstand and cleansed himself of the now dried blood that was on his face. Putting on a clean shirt, he picked up his coat to hang it up properly when the pouch Yusuf had given him fell out of its pocket.

 _“For any pain you may feel on your journey home…”_ he recalled the man’s words.

Sitting on the edge of his cot, James opened the pouch and reached inside removing a small amount of the opium. After smelling it, he put it in his mouth and chewed it as Yusuf had instructed. A while after consuming the opium, James started to feel its effects. Feeling a sense of euphoria, relaxation, and a little physically numb, he curled up in his cot and drifted off to sleep.

Well over halfway across the Atlantic and drawing ever closer to home, James now started to unravel as the amputation of Midshipman Perry’s leg triggered him to return to reflecting almost constantly on his deep sense of guilt and grief and to return to the bottle and now also turn to the use of opium. It did not take long for the crew to take notice as his demeanor started to change just as it had the last time he succumbed to alcoholism. On the rare occasions that he did come out from his cabin, he became a bit snippy with the crew even over minor things. His gait started to become unsteady and his words were slurred. One day he even fell on his hands and knees going up the stairs to the quarterdeck and snapped at the crew who offered to help him up.

Theodore knew that he was left with little choice but to intervene lest he lose both Andrew and James. Dreading the confrontation, he prepared himself mentally as he and James discussed the incident report that James had only just started to work on which chronicled the incident with the storm in the Mediterranean, listed the names of the men who were lost, and commended the assistance they had received in Tripoli. 

As they finished, Theo took a deep breath and asked, ”Permission to speak candidly, sir?”

"Granted."

"James, I want you to know that this is coming from me not as an officer in the Royal Navy under your command but as your friend. Andrew is not here anymore to look out for you, so now it’s up to me. I’m very worried about you. I know how your out of control imbibing effected you last time, and now I fear that this time it is even worse. We were all impatient to catch Sparrow, not just you. Please stop punishing yourself, I beg you. I do not think any of us could bear to lose you, too!”

James clenched his jaw before responding with, "Don't you think I know how many have paid the price for my impatience? How many have died? How much damage have I done, and what is yet to come? This time the price has been paid for with our dearest blood!” Knocking some items off of his desk in rage, he asked, “Is that all you wished to say?"

"Yes."

"Then you are dismissed!”

"But, sir, James, your life and your career stand for rationality, not for intellectual chaos. Keep up this emotional behavior and you’ll lose everything. You’ll destroy yourself!"

"Damn you, Theodore Groves! Leave me!" James shouted as he pounded his fists on the desk.

Getting up so quickly that his chair fell over as he was unable to handle any further confrontation with James, Theo stomped to the door before stopping a moment. "You’re not the only one who is mourning and feeling guilt over the loss of our Andrew!” Theo managed to spit out with his voice cracking slightly before dashing out of the cabin and slamming the door behind him.

After Theodore was gone, James rubbed his temples. He was experiencing another one of his tension headaches. He used to experience them only on occasion particularly during times of stress like when he was preparing to take his lieutenant’s exam years ago. However, since the incident at Fort Charles with Jack Sparrow escaping and Miss Swann rescinding her acceptance of his marriage proposal, he had been suffering from them much more often, and they were likely a reason he was so quickly drawn to over-consuming alcohol the first time around.

Getting up slowly from his desk, he went to his liquor cabinet. After fumbling around to find the key, he unlocked it and rooted around the various bottles that the Pasha had gifted to him. Despite alcohol not being allowed by the Islamic faith, it was still readily accessible throughout the Ottoman Empire and its former holdings like Tripoli, and the Pasha was quite keen to share from his wealth of various kinds of liquors. James sighed as he took a bottle of some unknown drink back to his desk. 

Usually when he drank liquor for medicinal purposes, he would pour a small amount in a tumbler and put the bottle away. This time, however, as had become his habit in recent months, he did not bother searching for a glass. Taking out the cork, he started drinking straight from the bottle before he continued to work on his incident report. Time passed before he realized that he had already drunk well over half of the bottle. _“This damn report can wait,"_ he thought as he got out of his chair to prepare for bed. He staggered slightly before grabbing the bottle and moving to his bed area to undress. 

After somehow managing to undress himself without falling over, James quickly drank what was left in the bottle and reclined on his bed. He once again felt that familiar wave of relaxation and drowsiness overcoming him as he drifted off to sleep. That night he tossed and turned and was plagued by nightmares of undead pirates, severed limbs, and of course, Andrew.

 _“You left me behind in the sea. Why did you do that? Jamie, help me!”_ Andrew’s rotting corpse pleaded before taking a swig from a rum bottle. James watched in terror as the liquid trickled between Andrew’s empty ribs. James awakened and sat up drenched in sweat trembling.

In the morning, James felt as if his head were spinning and suddenly felt a wave of nausea overcome him causing him to stick his head out of a window to vomit as he could not find his chamber pot quickly enough. Wiping the saliva from his mouth, he crawled back into bed. _"I always thought that drinking was supposed to take away the pain,"_ he reflected. _"Andrew would never have approved of this. Then again, I wouldn't even be doing this if it weren’t for— If he was still alive."_

For a couple of days, James managed to stay away from both the bottle and the pouch having had quite a scare dreaming of Andrew as he did. He did note that his thoughts were a bit clearer now that he was not under the influence of alcohol or opium. After an officer updated him on their current location and heading, he began to contemplate.

_“We are almost home, yet, I feel uneasy. Perhaps it is my own erratic behavior or the feelings of emptiness of this vessel. Despite his words of support and concern, I feel as if Theo no longer trusts me. And the Dauntless feels like a house with all the children gone. No, more empty than even that. It seems that I have left the noblest part of myself back there in the abyss of the Mediterranean._

_Andrew Gillette was a better man than I ever was. How can I possibly face Catherine now especially after succumbing to my vices once again? I do not think that I can be the one to tell her that Andrew is never coming back. Yet, if I were to be honest with myself, all I want to do right now is hold her and comfort her, to feel her against my body while she is in my arms. There is never a day that I do not regret going after her when I had the chance, but at the same time I could never bear the idea of hurting her or Andrew. They were so happy together._

_Sometimes I wonder if I really am my father’s son. I never could express my feelings as well as most, and it seems that it will be my undoing. I only hope that I do not go mad in the end.”_

A few days later, the _Dauntless_ finally completed her journey home. As far as James was concerned, there were far too many people at the docks awaiting to see if Captain Jack Sparrow was going to be led off the ship in irons and to the jail at Fort Charles. Being bombarded with questions about the pirate and about loved ones, he dashed through the crowd and hid himself in his office. He mentally noted a bit to his relief that he did not see Catherine’s face among the faces of the crowd. By this time, his withdrawal symptoms were becoming quite bad. Taking off his hat and wig and burying his face in his hands, he sighed upon hearing a knock at his door and Theo’s voice on the other side. He bade him to enter.

“My word, you look horrible,” Theo frowned seeing James looking pale and clammy. “Please tell me you have not done something rash to harm yourself.”

“You will be relieved to know that I am doing the opposite. I have not had a drink for a couple of days now,” James ran the fingers of his trembling hand through his hair.

“Thank God, James. You had me quite worried there for a moment,” he slouched into a chair.

“Is it still a madhouse out there?”

“No, our small greeting party has dispersed. The other officers have commenced notifying the families in Port Royal of the deceased crew of their fates. The other next of kin that reside abroad will be contacted by letter.”

“As the superior officer, that leaves only one other person that needs to be informed of their kin’s death,” James frowned.

“Yes.”

Suddenly James dashed to the corner where there was a bucket and vomited violently. Theo was quickly at his side putting a reassuring hand on his back. Once finished, James sat up, “I’m alright. It’s fine.”

As both men took their seats again, Theo said, “I will go and tell her. I will tell Catherine about Andrew.”

“No, I should be the one to do it.”

“You cannot go to her in this state, and it is not right for us to wait even if it is only until tomorrow. She will catch wind that we have returned and wonder why Andrew has not come home to her. It must be done now.”

Sitting back in his chair, James started to weep quietly. “I cannot even honor his last wishes. What good am I? None at all!”

“Jamie,” Theo could not help but him by his nickname seeing him so vulnerable, “you can still tell her everything once you are well enough. Andrew would never have faulted you for needing some time to recover from all you have been through.”

“I fear that if I do not do it now that I will never have the gumption to ever try again.”

“My offer still stands to be with you when you do it for what it’s worth. I can never replace Andrew, nor is it my wish to try. But both he and you have always been good to me, and I count you both as my closest friends.” James arched an eyebrow at him. “I mean it! You are my friend, James, even though we have had our disagreements. I know that it is against your nature, but let down your guard and please just let me inside,” he wiped a stray tear from his own cheek.

“I will try, but I make no guarantees. As you saw with the incident with Eliz—,” he stopped himself wincing at the thought of her and continued, “Miss Swann, outside of Andrew, whenever I have opened my heart to others I have only in turn been hurt deeply. You have done nothing to earn my lack of trust, Theo, it is simply my nature. Losing Andrew, such a large piece of my heart, how will I survive this mortal wound?”

“I think we have all asked ourselves that at some point or other after losing loved ones, but we somehow manage. Just as Andrew told me he did with the loss of his family. You know Andrew wanted nothing but your happiness. Sometimes you have to fight tooth and nail for it, but it is worth it.”

“I think that for some time now I have been surrendering myself to despair rather than fighting back with vigor. Despite the loss of his leg, young Mr. Perry has survived and is quite keen to get on with things as if nothing had happened. Perhaps it is time for me to do the same and to stop feeling sorry for myself and stand up swinging.” Leaning his head on his hand, he sighed, “Theo, it will not be easy. Norringtons are stubborn and proud to a fault, and I may yet lose this battle.”

“You will only have to face it alone if that is what you choose. Now, look after yourself. I will go and speak to Catherine, and when you are ready, we will go together so that you can speak to her. Agreed?”

“Agreed. Please apologize to her for my absence and send her my love,” he added just before Theo walked out the door. _“Send her my love? How could I possibly say something like that right now?”_

Having said farewell to Beatrice Wright not long ago, Catherine and Nellie sat in the parlor together relaxing. Nellie leafed through a book Beatrice had just loaned her, and Catherine busied herself painting a teacup for their new friend. Hearing a knock at the front door, Nellie went and answered it before returning to the parlor.

"Catherine, Lieutenant Theodore Groves is here to see you. Shall I let him in?"

“Oh yes, Nellie, please do! If Theo is here, then it means that they are finally home!”

Nellie went back to the foyer and led Theodore into the parlor. "Mrs. Gillette," he bowed formally after taking off his hat.

"Theodore, sit down and please call me Catherine. We’ve discussed this formality nonsense before,” she smiled.

"Sorry."

"What is it that you would like to talk to me about? Is Andrew held up down at the fort with paperwork? I've been dying to see him, though, and have so much to tell him! And I am sure he has much to tell me as well. Perhaps you would like some tea?” she stood up.

"Catherine, I'm very sorry, but I have some dreadful news."

"What is wrong?” she stopped dead in her tracks before moving away from her chair.

"I'm sorry, but Andrew isn't coming home. He died after being crushed by the mizzenmast in a horrible storm in which we got caught. You have my condolences."

"Andrew is— No!” Catherine gasped and dropped the teacup she was working on as she slumped into her chair. The cup broke into a few pieces as it hit the floor.

“Are you alright?” Theo rushed to her side and knelt down beside her on one knee.

“Yes, I’m just startled by the news.”

"If there is anything I can do, please let me know. Someone will deliver his personal effects to you sometime today."

"I'm sorry, what where you saying? Oh, yes, his personal effects," she started to cry.Theo, although usually a bit shy around his friend's wife, took her hand in an effort to comfort her. “Did he suffer?” she managed to ask.

“I am not sure. I was not with him when he passed, but James was with him the whole time.”

“Then why isn’t James here? Why didn’t he come to tell me? He was Andrew’s best friend.”

“Catherine, James is not doing well, and you know how he is. He blames himself for everything. He may be facing a court martial, and that is also weighing on his mind.”

“Why would he be in trouble?”

“Many men were lost to the storm. He fears that the admiralty will feel that he has been acting recklessly and went needlessly into danger. If there is in fact a court martial, I suppose they will charge him with negligence.”

“What do you think would happen to him?”

“If they find him guilty, at the most I think he will only be demoted, but you know James. He will not settle for that. He would rather face the gallows than endure that humiliation. I think he would rather resign.”

"That's foolish of him especially after he's worked so hard to reach his rank."

"I know it is, but you know James. Sometimes he's rash when he's emotional. He's feeling very guilty about Andrew's death and about the fact that he’s started drinking again. And now he’s chewing opium on top of it all. I had confronted him about it. He asked how many had died and how much damage had been done because of his impatience and stated that this time the price has been paid with our dearest blood. Then he became very angry and shouted at me to leave. I'm worried for him. But he is trying to get himself back off the drink and off the opium, and I spoke to him before I came here and he seems to be coming back to his senses.”

"One alive, one not. And if beyond the grave Andrew knew how James was coping? Both in pain.”

“James initially reacted as one would expect after Andrew’s passing, but he prides himself on keeping his composure. I'm afraid that if he does not allow himself to acknowledge his grief openly again in a healthy manner that it will slowly kill him if his drinking does not kill him first. I begged him to let me in, and he seems to be warming up to the idea that I am his friend and care for him, too.”

“By harming himself, James Norrington is damn well set on breaking all of our hearts at this rate. Do you think I should try to talk to him, Theo?"

"Catherine, you have so much to deal with right now emotionally. I do not even know how you are managing at this very moment! I would not expect you to try to deal with James just yet. It might only make things worse. He mentioned on more than one occasion being afraid of facing you.”

"I suppose you are right," Catherine squeezed Theo's hand in agreement. “I must admit that I think that I am in a bit of shock. I do not feel that the reality of Andrew’s death has sunk in just yet. I just cannot believe it,” she sighed sadly.

“I still cannot either, and I was there. Well, I am afraid that I must be getting back to the fort. Again, you have my condolences, Catherine. Andrew was a good man, and he loved you dearly. If you need anything, do not be afraid to ask. Oh, and James wanted you to know that he sends his love. Once he is well enough, he hopes he can find the courage to speak with you.”

"Thank you, Theodore, for your kindness to me.If I need anything, then I will not be afraid to ask. Would you like me to see you out?"

"No, that is quite alright. I will see myself out. Take care."

"And you as well."

Nellie, who had been waiting in the doorway listening to the conversation that had just taken place, timidly walked in after Theodore had left and placed her hand on Catherine's shoulder as she suddenly began to sob.

"Oh, Nellie, how could this happen?"

"I'm very sorry, Catherine,” as Nellie also started to cry. “I promise that I will help you in any way I can.It is difficult to lose someone you love, and yet I cannot even imagine how you must be feeling right now.”

"What a mess I've made," Catherine began scolding herself amidst her tears as she suddenly slipped out of her seat and knelt down to pick up the broken pieces of the porcelain cup. "Damn," she cursed as she cut the tip of her right index finger drawing a little blood.

"Dear, please do not bother yourself with this now.I will clean it up," Nellie said as she helped Catherine off the floor."Gracious, you're bleeding!” she wrapped a clean handkerchief around her finger.

Catherine abruptly clung to Nellie and sobbed into her shoulder. Unsure what else to do, Nellie simply held the grief stricken woman and tried her best to comfort her.After finally calming down, Catherine wiped off her face. "It would break Andrew’s heart to pieces if he saw me like this. I think I'm going to go for a walk, Nellie. I'm not sure when I'll be back, but please do not worry about me."

Putting her hat on and grabbing a shawl, Catherine ran out of the door and made her way to town and towards the fort. _“Theo said that James sends his love,”_ she recalled. _“His love? I cannot help but to think that he is not the only one that has Andrew’s blood on their hands. This is what I get for nearly ten years of longing after a man other than my husband. I never deserved Andrew. His love for me was so pure. And now he has been taken away from me. How ungrateful I was for him! And now how can I possibly go on without him? I have no one left. What a disgrace I am!”_

By this time, the sun was already setting and the stars and moon were coming out. She slowed down as she got closer to Fort Charles. No one thought anything of stopping her as she entered the gates without providing a reason for being there. The guards all knew who she was and watched her sadly as she made her way to the battlements overlooking the sea, the site of recent beginnings and endings in the lives of people that she knew. Climbing up the stairs, she breathed in the sea air deeply as a couple tears ran down her hot cheeks. Wiping them away, she put on a brave face, stood up, and made her way to the edge.

 _"It wasn't supposed to happen like this,"_ she thought as she cautiously peered over. _"Andrew, I can't live without you. I'm sorry. It’s not even been an entire day since I have learned of your death, but I do not think that I can go on like this day after day as my heart withers inside of me. I am not as strong as you had always insisted that I was, and I cannot even help our dear James as we are in the same situation. I pray that God has mercy on me, forgives me for what I am about to do, and allows me to join you in His presence in heaven.”_

She crept up forwards so that the fronts of her soles were over the edge. Crying anew, she took off her hat and threw it aside. She stood there a few moments as she fought within herself as to what she should do. Suddenly she felt a wave of nausea overcoming her. Backing slightly away from the edge lest she fall, she vomited. Wiping her mouth and quietly sniffling, she then remembered that she did in fact have a reason to go on living even if it meant she would have to die inside daily. Standing and straightening herself, she dropped her hands to her lower abdomen and gently rubbed the small bump, which existed there.

"I'm sorry. I almost had forgotten, little one. I suppose that I must try if at the very least for your sake,” she whispered in the moonlight. "Andrew, I wish you were here. I need you so," she sighed. “We both need you terribly." Thinking nothing of her dress, she retrieved her hat and sat down on the stairs. After a while, Theodore, who had been alerted by one of the guards of Catherine’s presence at the fort, quietly approached her and took a seat beside her.

"How are you doing, Catherine?"

"I am as well as can be expected."

"It is understandable."

"Do you know the most surprising thing about losing someone you love possibly even more than life itself?" she suddenly asked. "It doesn't actually kill you like a stab to the heart or a blow to the head. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part is suddenly ripped away from you by death itself, it should kill you instantly. You shouldn't have to think about having to wake up day after day after that trying to understand how in the world it could happen to you and why.I just— I don't know what I'm going to do and—,” she began to cry.

"Shh," Theodore took out his handkerchief and wiped Catherine's tears dry before taking her hand."I will do anything within my power to help you through this. Andrew was always good to me, and you have both been dear friends. I would be ashamed to leave you alone in a time like this. You’re both like family to me.”

“Thank you again, Theo. It means so much to know I can depend on you,” she said as she leaned over and embraced him tightly not caring about whether it was proper or not. In response, he gently rubbed her back.

As they embraced, he looked up over her shoulder only to see James standing in an archway nearby observing the situation wearing a pained look on his face. Theodore frowned at him causing him to feel ashamed. Looking at the ground and sighing, James clenched his jaw, turned and quickly left. Theodore sighed frustrated with James’ stubborn pride.

“What is it, Theo?”

“Oh, just feeling sad is all.”

“I probably should be getting back home. Nellie will be worrying about me.”

“I will walk you home.”

The two quietly made their way to Philadelphia House and then bade farewell.Catherine walked inside and went to the kitchen to get something to eat.

“There you are! You had me worried to pieces. I thought I would have to organize a search party for you.”

“I’m alright, Nellie.”

“Here, have some supper and then get some rest.”

After Catherine finished what little food she could choke down, she went upstairs to the bedroom.She then noticed that someone had in fact brought Andrew’s sea chest home for her at some point while she was out. Most of what he had with him was there, for James and some of the other men could not bear the idea of auctioning his belongings off between them even if it meant the money would go to Catherine. They knew she would cherish Andrew’s belongings much more than money.

Subsequent to putting on her nightgown, Catherine picked up Andrew’s wig and hat and placed them in their proper place. She then picked up his pistol and put it in its case before putting his sword where it belonged. Looking through the rest of the pile, she picked up his pocket watch and opened it. The glass was cracked, and the watch was stopped. _“4:39.It must have been the time that it had happened,”_ she thought as she closed the dented lid. _“Where is his poesy ring? Perhaps they forgot to take it off his finger before they—,“_ she sighed not being able to bear the thought of them dropping his body into the sea. Lastly she picked up a pair of his shoes and put them in their place by the hearth; put his breeches, underdrawers, waistcoat, cravat, white stockings, and shirt in the proper drawers; and then held his navy blue lieutenant’s coat close to her body.After nuzzling her face into the material, she put the coat overtop of her nightgown before crawling into bed. It took much effort, but she finally managed to fall asleep.

_"Catherine..."_

"Andrew?" she murmured in her sleep.

_"Catherine, darling..."_

"Andrew, please don't go."

_"I love you, Catherine."_

"Andrew, no!" she sat up in bed with tears streaming down her face having had a brief dream of him. 

Catherine turned slowly as if dreading what she knew she would see when she looked to Andrew's side of the bed.Much to her grief and dread, it was true and not just some awful nightmare that she would wake up from only to have Andrew comfort her.Andrew really was gone.Never again would she wake in the middle of the night and simply listen to his steady breathing or quiet snores and feel the warmth of his body as he clung to her in his sleep. Never again would she lay her head on his chest, gently feel his auburn chest hairs with her fingertips, and listen to his heartbeat or hear him make little noises while he happily dreamed. Never again would she feel him inside her as they clung to each other in the desperation of making love.

She felt the sheet where he should have been lying. Cold. It was cold and dead just as he was. She closed her eyes and felt alone, alone and separated just as they now were. Feeling a new wave of tears coming over her, Catherine crumbled into a ball in the middle of the bed clutching onto Andrew's pillow and pulling his coat around her tighter. She savored what little of his scent was left on the pillow and reverently regarded a couple of his auburn hairs glimmering in the firelight that had been left behind from his last night home. Somehow, through her tears, she managed to start quietly singing to herself a song that he occasionally sang to her when she was ill with fever.

“Sleep my love, and peace attend thee  
All through the night;  
Guardian angels God will lend thee,  
All through the night,  
Soft the drowsy hours are creeping,  
Hill and vale in slumber steeping,  
I my loving vigil keeping,  
All through the night.  
  
Angels watching ever round thee,  
All through the night,  
In thy slumber close surround thee,  
All through the night,  
They should of all fears disarm thee,  
They will let no peril harm thee,  
All through the night.  
  
While the moon her watch is keeping  
All through the night  
While the weary world is sleeping  
All through the night  
O'er thy spirit gently stealing  
Visions of delight revealing  
Breathes a pure and holy feeling  
All through the night.  
  
Love, to thee my thoughts are turning  
All through the night  
All for thee my heart is yearning,  
All through the night—”

Catherine paused in an effort to gather the strength to sing the ending. "Though sad fate our lives may sever,” she began to cry but continued, "parting will not last forever.” Clutching ever tighter to Andrew's pillow, she sobbed out the last two lines, "There's a hope that leaves me never, all through the night."Finally drained of any remaining emotional control, Catherine broke down completely sobbing and moaning. Eventually exhausted, she feel asleep still clinging to Andrew's pillow with one arm and resting her other hand on her abdomen.

The next morning, Catherine pulled out her black mourning clothes and slowly dressed noting that she might have to alter them slightly in the coming months as the child grew. After forcing herself to have some breakfast, she sat in the garden to enjoy the coolness of the morning.

“Catherine, I had to come over as soon as I heard the news,” Beatrice Wright declared as she suddenly appeared around the corner of the house and sat next to Catherine. “I am so sorry to learn of Andrew’s passing. How are you faring?”

"The tears don't hurt as much as the ache does,” Catherine noted. “It still does not feel real. I feel like I am living some kind of nightmare and that any moment I will wake up and find him sleeping next to me. I always knew that this was a possibility with him being in the navy, but I never thought that it would actually happen. How can I say goodbye properly with no body to bury, no gravesite to visit?”

“We must have a memorial service for him at the church. It’s only proper, and I think that it will help not only you but those in the community that loved him to process what has happened and to feel a sense of closure about him being gone. My husband is already gathering readings and making preparations.”

“That would be nice,” she agreed.

“How is the child?”

“Doing well as far as I can tell. Bea, I nearly did something rash yesterday after receiving the news, but this child in a sense stopped me and saved my life. But I do still fear greatly for the future, our future. I fear the loss of this child more than ever, but equally I fear raising a child without a father. I never thought that I would be alone like this and with child. It breaks my heart that Andrew will miss it all.”

“I promise that you will not be alone in this,” Beatrice reached over and tucked some stray hair behind Catherine’s ear.

“I fear for someone else as well,” she sighed. “Our beloved friend, Commodore James Norrington, was Andrew’s superior officer. They loved each other deeply, and James is blaming himself for Andrew’s death. It sounds as if he is on a path towards self-destruction. I do not want to lose both of them.”

“I’m sure. I will have my husband reach out to James.”

“Do warn your husband that James can be quite hard-headed.”

Reverend Wright and the church wardens put together a lovely memorial service for Andrew. Catherine was touched by all the kind words members of the church and the community had to say about him. But throughout the service, she also could not help but to notice the empty space in James’ pew and feel as if her heart was melting within her chest. At the end, Catherine took the opportunity to allow the attendees to share words of comfort and condolences with her.

“Mrs. Gillette, I was grieved when I received the word,” Governor Swann dabbed at his eyes with his handkerchief. “I was always fond of your husband. Our gatherings will never be the same without him.”

“No, they will not.”

“I fear for Commodore Norrington as well. I visited with him the other day, and he is not well. Not in a good place at all. I promised him that I will do everything in my power to help him if the admiralty decide to proceed with a court martial, but he was quite passive. I fear that he has resigned himself to whatever fate they choose for him. I cannot help but to feel as if I have contributed to all the grief he has experienced these recent months.”

“Elizabeth is as headstrong as James. It never would have worked between them. They would have been bitter and miserable together. James may not see it this way right now, but it was really merciful of God to prevent their union. Do not blame yourself. There’s far too much of that going around lately!”

“Quite right,” he nodded. “In all honestly, Andrew and you, dear, have become like family to me. If you need anything, I will help you. Do not fret about the upkeep of Philadelphia House either. If you wish to remain there, I will see to it that it is kept well in repair. You do not need to face anything alone.”

“Thank you, Weatherby. I cannot find the words to express my gratitude for your friendship.”

“Unless I missed him, I did not see James at the service.”

“He was not in his pew, so I assume that he did not attend. I actually have not yet had the opportunity to speak to James since the _Dauntless_ has returned. Lieutenant Groves relayed to me that James is quite frightened to face me due to the guilt that he feels. The longer this continues the worse I ache to see him. He was with Andrew in his last moments. I need to know what was said. Knowing how much James is grieving and how he has harmed himself, I fear that he will do something rash. It would be the end of me,” she started to weep.

“There there,” the governor held her tightly. “The stubborn fool does not realize that he needs you to heal just as much as you need him. I will keep trying to break through to him.”

Just then through her tears and over Governor Swann’s shoulder, Catherine caught a glimpse of James cowering in a corner at the back of the church doing his best to avoid others. He was dressed in civilian clothing, and she noted that he had most certainly lost weight as he appeared thinner in the face. As fate would have it, their eyes met across the room. Seeing Catherine in her current state and knowing his cover was blown, James could not cope and quickly made his escape leading Catherine to bury her face into the governor’s shoulder and sob. Standing nearby and taking note of Catherine’s distress, Theodore joined her and Governor Swann to lend some support.

Finally calming herself, Catherine dried her cheeks and apologized, “I’m sorry, governor, as I have drenched your coat.”

“No need to apologize,” he smiled and gently patted her cheek.

“Are you going to be alright?” Theo asked handing her a fresh handkerchief.

She nodded and explained, “I saw James. He was here after all and doing his best to avoid any of us. But once he realized that I was looking at him, he left.”

“This feels harsh, but he’s starting to act the coward,” Theo growled. “This has gone on long enough."

“Yes, it has. I know James well, and I am going to have to use that knowledge against him. He knows that I would follow decorum in that I expect him to come to me. So I will simply have to break decorum and go to him instead. He will not expect it, and he will feel completely defenseless. I will do it tomorrow.”

“Would you like someone to go with you?” Weatherby offered.

“No, I want him vulnerable but I do not want him to feel threatened. I am happy to go alone.”

“I pray you find your mission a success.”

The next day Catherine set out for James’ estate. His steward Mr. Tremaine informed her that James had been spending most of his time in his office at Fort Charles. Even in her brief conversation with the steward, she could see the worry in his eyes for his employer and had a feeling that things were not very rosy even when James was actually at his home.

After inquiring with a couple men at the fort and getting confirmation that James was in his office, Catherine stomped off in that direction. She paused outside the door to prepare herself and to see if she could hear his presence inside. She could hear the scratch of a quill on a piece of parchment and then heard a sigh that most definitely belonged to James. Summoning her mettle, she rapped at the door. No answer. She knocked again. Still no acknowledgement.

“James, it’s Catherine. You open this door and face me this instant!” Catherine shouted angrily and banged on the door with her fist. Silence. “I know you’re in there!” she rattled the doorknob trying to open the door only to find it locked. Nothing. “You have no idea how desperate I am to see you, James! Please open the door,” she started to cry.

Frozen in place, James just about held his breath in hopes that she would go away with her thinking that she was mistaken that he was inside. He never could bear hearing or seeing Catherine cry, but in the past, Andrew was always there to make things better. This was James’ chance to finally do what he had wanted to for years. _“And dear God in heaven, she is calling out for me by my Christian name!”_ And yet looking down at the document he never thought or dreamed that he would write to the admiralty, a letter of resignation, he hesitated even though his heart screamed out for him to burst through the door and take her into his arms and stake his claim on her once and for all.

“I beg you. I need your help,” her voice grew quiet with weariness. “James, I need you.”

 _“How beautiful it is to hear her say she needs me. She wants me,”_ James could not help but to start to weep quietly. He picked up his letter and thought over his options before concluding, _“Unfortunately, fate has other plans for us, darling.”_ Standing up and walking to the door, James put his hand on it before finally speaking, “I cannot see you, Catie.”

“Please?”

“I am sorry, but I bring about nothing but death and despair to the ones that I love most. I think that it would be best for you to leave now. You are better off without me.”

“Jamie, you know that you need me as much as I need you.”

“I will only ever cause you pain,” tears started streaming freely down his cheeks.

“You walking out of my life would be the only pain that you could possibly cause me that I could never bear.”

“I’m so sorry, but no, I will not open this door. It is for the best.”

“Of all times to play the coward, James. You have never behaved like this.”

“I’m not the man that I used to be. The James Norrington that you loved died with Andrew. Goodbye, Catherine,” he walked back to his desk, took out a bit of opium from its pouch, put it in his mouth, and starting chewing putting his head down as he listened to the fading sound of Catherine crying as she walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They were so close to finally saying it out loud and clearly to each other! Someone needs to take that blasted office door off its hinges and burn it once and for all so James can no longer hide behind it! Heading even closer to DMC territory, so unfortunately, things are going to get dark for everyone. 
> 
> "All Through the Night" is an old traditional song first documented in the late 1700s, but some feel the song had been around for quite a long time, so I went with it.
> 
> There will be no crossover, but there's a little wink to Outlander.


	20. Valley of the Shadow of Death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: to avoid spoilery, I won't be specific other than anything that I have given warnings about before might be in this chapter

In the office that Governor Swann kept at Fort Charles, he and Theodore Groves waited impatiently hoping that Catherine would report to them soon with good news. But alas, as soon as she entered the room with tear stained cheeks, they knew the result of her meeting with James was likely not positive.

“Mrs. Gillette, what happened?” Governor Swann asked with a frown.

“He's properly locked himself in his office and would not even dignify me with simply opening the door to explain his behavior,” Catherine sat down and wiped her tears and blew her runny nose with her handkerchief. “The language he used terrifies me. I fear he means to harm himself intentionally with the intent of taking his life.”

“I will make haste and speak to him,” he got up out of his chair. “I will take some marines with me to break down the door if I sense he is in danger. Lieutenant Groves, please stay with madam until I return.”

“How bad is it?” Theo asked once Governor Swann had departed.

“He said that I would be better off without him,” she quietly answered. “He has convinced himself that he is nothing but a scourge to those that care about him. He said that he died the day that Andrew left us.”

“If he is in imminent danger, Weatherby will do what he can to stop him.”

“I felt so powerless. I did what I could to tell him how much I need him right now. I know he usually thrives on being needed. I only hope that I did not do anything to make the situation worse.”

“James has done a fine job of digging himself into a hole, Catherine, but we cannot force him to take hold of the ropes we throw down to him in order to save him.”

Having gathered four marines who carried a small battering ram which could break open a wooden door with ease, Governor Swann knocked on James’ office door and asked firmly, “Commodore, are you in there?” Just as Catherine experienced, he was answered only with silence. Testing the latch and finding it locked, he continued, “If you do not unlock this door within the count of ten, commodore, I will have the marines who have accompanied me break it down.”

“I am drowning in sin, governor, but I am no common criminal. By what right do you have to violently invade my privacy?” a drugged James answered slurring his speech.

“Do you really want the marines to see you in whatever state you are currently in, James? I know the one thing you have left is your damn pride!” Weatherby started to become angry. “Son, please let me come inside and talk to you face to face, man to man. I will start counting now.” By the time he reached “five,” he heard the lock mechanism move and the door was opened just ajar. Breathing a sigh of relief, he advised the marines to standby and walked inside.

“What is the meaning of all this?” James asked impertinently.

Taking in James’ current unkempt appearance, Governor Swann felt grieved. “We fear for your safety and well-being, James.”

“We?”

“Mrs. Gillette, Lieutenant Groves, and myself,” he explained. “You have given Catherine such a fright just now, and she is in tears in my office even as we speak. Why can you not simply speak to her properly and tell the poor dear about her husband’s death? That is all that she asks of you. She loves you, you know. We all do. And I think that if you just spoke openly about it and everything else that you would feel such a weight lifted off of your shoulders. You’re carrying far too many burdens that you needn’t bear. If you truly feel that you have done something wrong, there is mercy and forgiveness available to you if you just ask, but most of all you need to forgive yourself.”

James sat in silence.

“Have you nothing to say?” Weatherby sighed. “I swear that I could shake you if I knew it would make you come to your senses!”

Never having heard such frustration let alone a physical threat come from Governor Swann’s lips before, James was taken aback a bit.

“James,” he continued more gently now, “I know that you are in a very dark place, and you have no reason to feel shame for that. But pushing everyone away is not the answer. You know with all of your heart that this is not what Andrew would have wanted for you. At least honor his memory by striving to live.”

Finally, James found his tongue, “Weatherby, Andrew’s death is all my fault as well as the deaths of over two-hundred of my crew. Almost nightly now I dream of him. Sometimes I swear I see him out of the corner of my eye or hear his voice in a crowd. Like Lady Macbeth, I am going mad. I cannot face Catherine. If I did, it would be a no-win scenario for either of us.”

“Is it time to heal that you need? Perhaps you could just see her and not speak of what happened just yet. I think she would take comfort in even that. She said that she aches to see you.”

“Nothing will ever heal this wound I have caused. I have decided that it is best if I move on.”

“Please tell me that you do not intend to take your life.”

“No, sir, that is not what I mean,” James reassured him. “I intend to leave Port Royal. I do not know when I will leave or where I will go, but that is what I have decided.”

“Is there nothing that I can do to make you change your mind?”

He shook his head, “I must find a new way in the world and atone for what I have done.”

“James, you are like a son to me. I still beg that you stay and try to make things right as there are people here that love you. The thought of you leaving grieves me, but if you do, please know that if you ever decide to return, I will be waiting for you with open arms and will do anything to help you.”

Returning to his office where Catherine and Theo were still waiting, Governor Swann sat down, and feeling hot and flummoxed, he unceremoniously took of his hat and wig and tossed them onto his desk not giving a care of appearing vulnerable in front of his friends.

“He will not yield?” Theo asked.

“No, he will not. But he at least assures me that he has no intentions of harming himself. He has decided that he feels it is best for him to leave Port Royal, but it sounds as if he does not yet have any plans made which is good in that it gives us time. I think that we should continue to reach out to him albeit gently and with love and pray that he will turn back to us. He’s not fully lost his mind yet, so there’s always hope,” Weatherby sighed.

“I must admit that I feel that losing someone slowly to their own grief is feeling far worse than losing someone unexpectedly,” Theo admitted. “Catherine, losing Andrew was traumatic for me, and even though I was not there at the very end, when I last saw him, he had dignity and grace about him. He was at peace. James is acting like a dead man walking.”

“Then, as Weatherby just suggested, we must reach out to him and remind him that he is valuable to us and that his life is valuable and still worth living,” Catherine resolved.

“How I admire your strength in the midst of your grief, Mrs. Gillette,” Governor Swann smiled gently at her.

“James was always there for us in our trials, and now it is time that I return the favor to whatever extent that he will allow it.”

Upon returning home, Catherine felt quite fatigued between her emotional turmoil and her pregnancy. After a short nap, she quickly set about thinking of how best to reach James as he was dead set on not even seeing her. She decided on writing him a series of letters as she recalled how he had found comfort in her letter years ago when he was injured and recovering when only a lieutenant in Port Royal and separated from her and Andrew.

Deciding to keep the tone of her letters as light and as encouraging as possible, many of them contained little anecdotes like “remember that time when… thank you for that” and “when you did… it made me smile.” It was certainly tempting to pour her heart out and admit the love she felt for James in these letters, but not wanting to frighten him away further, she only spoke of her love for him in a sense of friendship which he already knew about. Each time she finished a letter, she quickly delivered it to Mr. Tremaine who promised to make sure that James received it.

Several days had passed when one early evening, Catherine was startled by a panicked banging at her front door and Theodore Groves calling for her to come quickly. Thankfully still dressed for the day, she ran to see what was the matter.

“Thank God, you’re home!” Theo put a hand to his chest feeling relieved. He had come by horseback meaning whatever the reason for his visit was quite urgent. “It’s James. He’s leaving tonight on a merchant ship. Her captain let it slip to me after I finished my inspection. I stopped by his estate on the way here. They’re boarding up the windows even now! Mr. Tremaine said it was a shock when James suddenly dismissed the rest of his staff this morning. He kept Mr. Tremaine behind to oversee the closing of the property. He must be stopped!”

“Can you take me with you? It’s been years, but I can ride!”

“Of course, that was my intention. Quickly, come!” Theo helped Catherine onto his steed before joining her and urging the horse along into running at full speed. “Make way!”

_“Please do not let us be too late,”_ Catherine prayed as she held on tightly.

Upon arriving at the docks and they had dismounted, Theo handed off his horse to an acquaintance and explained to Catherine as they walked quickly, “Believe it or not, it can sometimes be very crowded at the docks at this time in the evening. If we somehow get separated, we should press on regardless. The ship is called the _Cygnet_ , so just ask any dock crew where it is located. Let us hope that they did not set sail early!”

Things were quite busy and crowded as two large merchant vessels had just made berth and the crews were eager to spend their evening on shore, and in addition to the _Cygnet_ , two other ships were also preparing to leave for their next destination. By a poor stroke of luck, Theo bumped into a couple sailors in his haste to find James causing a misunderstanding between the two who started fighting with each other. Getting entangled in the tussle, he urged Catherine to keep going without him as they had discussed.

Being wary and pushing through the crowd in haste while doing her best to protect her growing child, Catherine being smaller than Theo found it quite easy to dodge in and out of groups of people and squeeze into small openings. Finally she spotted the _Cygnet_ and felt her heart drop as she noted some of the sails starting to be unfurled. Just nearly reaching the end of the dock, she spotted James who was dressed in his uniform, carrying a large bag over his shoulder, and starting to walk up the plank to board.

“James!” she shouted as loudly as she could. He looked directly at her as she ran full speed. “Please don’t leave!” tears started to stream from the corners of her eyes.

Suddenly her feet went out from under her as she slid in some manure from a herd of pigs that had been unloaded earlier that day causing her to land on the ground in a heap. Having seen her tumble, James instinctually almost ran to her aid, but upon seeing two dock crew helping her up and her appearing to be unharmed although quite a mess, he closed his eyes briefly fighting internally with himself before continuing on his way up the plank onboard the ship. As the plank was retracted and the ship started slowly lurching forward, he could hear Catherine’s shouts.

“No! Let me go, you dolts! I’m fine! Stop that ship! James!”

Feeling one last niggle of doubt about his decision to leave from hearing her shouting his name, James dropped his bag and ran to the rail on the poop deck to get one last glimpse of the woman he loved but refused to allow himself to have feeling that he would only bring her pain.

Her voice starting to grow hoarse, she shouted one last time, “Please come back! I love you, James!”

By this time, Theodore, who now sported a bloodied lip, caught up to Catherine and felt devastated seeing James on the ship which was now getting further and further away. As Catherine started to cry, he pulled her into his arms to comfort her. “How could you do this, James Norrington? Andrew trusted you!” he shouted.

His face burning red in shame, James turned and left the rail, found his bag, and quickly made his way to his cabin where he opened a bottle of liquor and started downing it as fast as he could as tears streamed down his cheeks.

Within only about a month’s time, starting to run afoul of the captain and his crew and in dire need of more drink to fuel his habit, James had little choice but to stop island hopping on the _Cygnet_ and try to come up with some kind of resources to sustain himself. While he still had a large sum of money on his person which would likely support his needs for at least a few more weeks, he still felt it was best to take the time to come up with a proper plan as his current abode on the _Cygnet_ was no longer an option. Having been threatened with being tossed overboard after starting a drunken brawl with a sailor on the ship, James had little choice but to disembark at the next port at which the _Cygnet_ stopped. Quite frankly, it was the last place he would have chosen to try to find his feet, but James had no option but to set foot in Tortuga in hopes of finding his way in his new life.

Unsure where to begin and starting to feel agitated from need of alcohol, James made his way to the _Faithful_ _Bride_ where he had spent a night several months ago in the embrace of the local prostitute Giselle. After filling his belly with food and drink, he recognized Giselle’s “friend” and could not help but to inquire after her wellbeing as he had secretly given her a small sum of money in hopes that she could escape a lifestyle she had not willingly chosen.

“She’s not here anymore. I got myself some better stock, and she was acting rebellious towards me, so I let her go. Not sure what she does for money these days, but she lives on the edge of town above the tanner’s shop on Bishops’ Lane. I recognize your face and recall that you were a well-paying customer the last time you here. Interested in checking out one of my new girls, commodore?”

“I’m not a commodore anymore, and no thank you,” James scowled.

“Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me!”

Having paid for his meal, James journeyed out into the town and with assistance from the locals, he found the tanner shop above which Giselle was said to be living. Climbing the stairs along the outside of the building to the door of the residence, he knocked. A stocky older woman answered the door. James could hear children playing in the background.

“Oh, I am sorry, madam. I was told that Miss Giselle resides here. It must have been a mistake,” James apologized and prepared to leave.

“Actually, officer,” she looked at his uniform which he was still wearing and was becoming dirty and tattered, “she does live here with her two wee ones. Not often she gets visitors. You’re not here to start trouble, are ye?” the woman asked with a thick Scottish accent.

“Oh no, madam, I only wanted to see how she was faring. It has been a few months since I have been in town and have seen her,” he explained.

“Are you father to one of the bairns?” the woman whispered.

James could feel himself blushing despite his innocence in the matter. “No, we only met the one time. Miss Giselle was kind to me, and I only wanted to pay her a friendly visit.”

“Mrs. Campbell, there’s a draft!” Giselle’s voice could be heard calling from an adjacent room.

“Come inside, sir, while I inquire if she’s willing to see you. What is your name?”

“James Norrington,” he stepped inside.

Mrs. Campbell quickly returned. “She’s happy to welcome you. Just this way,” she led him to the next room where two children, a boy and a girl, sat on the floor playing quietly while Giselle was reclining on a settee wrapped in a thick shawl.

“James, never in a million years did I think that I would see you again!” Giselle struggled to sit up. The effort caused her to struggle to breathe and she started coughing a bit. “I’m alright,” she shooed Mrs. Campbell away once she caught her breath. “Much has happened since we met,” she smiled.

“I— I did not know that you have children,” James noted a bit nervously.

“Aye, I have just these two, Scarlett and George. Did not want to somehow sully them by speaking to customers about them. I have not always done my best for them, but I love them dearly. And it is thanks to you that they will have a better chance in life! I did what you recommended. I do not know how I managed it, but I saved the money you gave me and added a little bit to it here and there when I could. I wrote a letter to my parents, and my mother replied! I feel so foolish for never having tried before this!”

“That is wonderful news,” he managed a smile. “What did she say?”

“She is overjoyed to learn that I am still alive. They always wondered what happened to me, and she is glad to now know the truth. Unfortunately my father passed away a few years ago. Mum said he was never quite the same after I disappeared. I have enough money to at least send the children back to England, and hopefully I can save enough to get myself back home, too, one day. I felt as if the weight of the world had been lifted off of my shoulders when I read her letter. She forgives me for everything and just wants me to come home. So, what brings you back to this wretched town?”

“I fear that my story regarding the past few months is quite grim.”

“Tell me all about it, James. I can see in your eyes that if you simply do not let it out soon that you might in fact implode.” She leaned in and whispered, “I have seen and heard of my fair share of shite for many years, so not much will faze me. Now tell me all and maybe I can do something to help. Children, run along and help Mrs. Campbell in the kitchen.”

Knowing that Giselle would not judge him as she herself had fallen so far before starting on her current path back to redemption, James started his tale right where things had left off when they previously met. He spoke of his ongoing struggles with alcohol and now also opium. He told of his pursuit of Jack Sparrow all over the Caribbean and then across the Atlantic to the Mediterranean. He choked up a little recalling Andrew’s death, his time in Tripoli, and his disastrous return to Port Royal.

“My mind tells me to stop being such an utter fool and listen to reason. But my heart is broken, and I keep pushing away everyone that loves me. They have reassured me time and time again that I have done nothing wrong, but how can I not feel guilty? I feel that what I have done is no different from when King David had his friend Uriah the Hittite killed in battle just so that he could have Bathsheba as his wife. But I need no prophet Nathan to tell me in a parable of my evil deeds. I saw what I did for what it was. Andrew’s death was my fault, and it is God’s punishment for all these years that I have hidden away desirous thoughts in my heart for Catherine. If only I had rid myself of such filth, Andrew would still be alive, and I would still have them both. Now I have neither of them!” he lamented as tears threatened to spill over.

“I ken it’s not me place to speak, Mr. Norrington,” Mrs. Campbell stood in the doorway having eavesdropped, “but even I ken that King David poured out his heart before God the Father and found forgiveness and mercy. And even despite his faults, God used him to accomplish great things even to the point of being ancestor to our Lord Christ Jesus. The mere fact that you have a contrite heart means that there is hope.”

“Yes, listen to her, James!” Giselle urged. “If you were no good, you would never have helped me. You would have used me like all the other men in my life and tossed me away like the trash that I was convinced that I was. And now look! Your kindness has made me a better mother and will soon reunite a family that was broken. You have people in your life that love you and need you. Do not throw it all way by punishing yourself.”

“She speaks the truth, sir!” Mrs. Campbell nodded before heading back to the kitchen where the children were helping her shell peas.

“I promised to Andrew just before his death that I would look out for Catherine,” James sighed. “Instead, I abandoned her. I could not even face her.”

“It is never too late. If you must, work through your self-loathing and learn to forgive yourself. Then get yourself back to Port Royal as soon as you can and fulfill your word. I of all people know how difficult it can be to forgive oneself,” Giselle reached over and squeezed his hand. “You must share a meal with us,” she insisted as he was in such a fragile state.

Later that day as they ate together, Mrs. Campbell shared with James about how she had been the wife of a missionary and how her husband was robbed and murdered by a drunk in the streets of Tortuga. She explained how, for a time, she lost her faith completely until one day she stumbled upon Giselle who was tearfully trying to give away her two children as she had such little money and feared that she would have to watch them starve.

“I ken then and there that I had to take in the bairns, and it was the best decision I ever made,” Mrs. Campbell smiled at young Scarlett and George.

James could not help but to feel a new level of respect for Giselle as he could not even begin to fathom what it would be like for a mother to attempt such a sacrifice just to save her children. And between the two women, despite their surroundings in Tortuga, it was clear that the children had a good upbringing as they were gentle and well-behaved.

After the children and Mrs. Campbell went to bed, Giselle felt that she had to explain her occasional fits of coughing. "I am sure you have noticed that I am not well. The doctor says that I have consumption. If I am lucky, I will make it to the year’s end, but it’s difficult to tell for sure with these kind of things.”

“I’m so sorry, Giselle,” James frowned. “I was hoping that I was mistaken in thinking that you looked much thinner and paler than when I saw you last,” he noted before taking a sip of rum from the bottle she had offered from her secret stash lest he start to have withdrawal symptoms.

“An associate of mine died of the great pox. I visited her not long before she passed. She was covered in sores and was having fits of madness. No one wants to die, but I would rather die from consumption than from any number of things that I could have died contracting them through my former work. I have booked safe passage for the children back to England. They will go at the end of the month, and Mrs. Campbell has kindly paid her own way so that she can accompany them.”

“But what about you? You cannot remain here alone and in your condition.”

“I have other friends that will help look after me if I need it. And as soon as I secure the rest of the money that I need, I will leave for England as well. Now, James, I want you to stay the night here with me. Your first night back in Tortuga and with your current state of mind, I will not have you staying alone in some filthy inn or out on the street.”

“Are you sure?”

“I insist. It’s the least that I can do. And it need not be a sexual encounter,” she leaned in closer and stroked his cheek gently, “unless you want it to be.” James swallowed hard closing his eyes and finding himself leaning into her touch. “If it is what you want, do not feel as if you are procuring me this time. It would be completely consensual. This time it is my choice. I must admit that I feel safe with you, James. Other than the fiancé of my youth who ultimately betrayed me, I never felt that way about any other man before I met you.”

“I’m not sure if it is the best idea,” he managed to reply quietly.

“No pressure, dear. Most importantly, I just want you somewhere clean, dry, and safe tonight. You look exhausted.”

“I will be honest in that as of late I am prone to nightmares.”

“All the more reason to have someone close to comfort you.”

Not long after his departure, word quickly spread in Port Royal of James resigning his commission. With most of the citizens expressing their regret to learn of it, Governor Swann wished that only they had expressed their gratitude for James and all he had done while he had still been around.

Unfortunately for Catherine, there seemed to be no end to bad news. About two weeks after James left Port Royal, Nellie arrived one morning at Philadelphia House in tears explaining that her father had been of poor health as of late and that the doctor urged him to move north to a cooler climate in hopes that it would prevent him from deteriorating as quickly.

“My uncle is in New York, so father can stay with him there. But how could I possibly leave you with everything that you are going through?” Nellie asked through her tears.

“Nellie, dear friend, you must go with him,” Catherine hugged her tightly. “If I were in the same position, it is what I would do. I was far too young when I lost my father, and I want you to cherish every moment you have left with yours. Please do not worry about me. I am not alone!”

With Nellie’s sudden departure, Catherine decided that it was probably best if she started to divulge her own “condition” to other people that were close to her so that there would be no surprises in the event that she needed assistance of any sort. She also knew that she could not hide it forever. As they had developed a sense of camaraderie in seeking to look after James in his time of difficulty prior to his departure, Catherine decided that she would invite Governor Swann and Theodore Groves over to dinner and share with them her news.

“Oh, what splendid news in the midst of such sorrow, Catherine!” Weatherby smiled. “If you find yourself in need of help especially when it comes to housework, I will provide you with a maid’s services. Just give me the word!”

“Andrew was so happy when we set sail for the Mediterranean,” Theo recalled. “It is somehow comforting to know that he knew you were with child before he passed.”

“Part of me wishes that I had not sworn Andrew to secrecy, but we had some traumatic experiences prior to this conception. I wanted to be sure this time that things were going well before telling anyone else,” Catherine explained.

“I completely understand why you kept quiet. My wife and I also had our difficulties. She struggled with much guilt over it. Thankfully, God blessed us with Elizabeth, and my wife got to enjoy time with her for a few years before she became unwell and passed,” Weatherby said.

“If James knew, it might have given him reason not to run off as he did. An innocent child, the child of his beloved friend, being part of the equation might have been enough for him to stop focusing so much on himself and to stay. I do think that he would have looked after the child as if it were his own,” Catherine put a hand on her belly. “I wish that I said something while he was still here, but to be honest, I was so focused on trying to save him that the thought never crossed my mind.”

The construction of the manor on the other side of town had finished, and the residents of Port Royal watched full of curiosity as carts full of imported high quality decor and goods made their way from the docks to the new stately home. Soon the manor was quite busy as staff started to bustle about making sure things were ready for their employer to arrive. It was still unclear to both the townsfolk and those of society alike as to who the owner was. Then one early April morning, the _HMS Endeavour_ arrived at the docks. Governor Swann felt a sense of dread having learned the news — Lord Cutler Beckett had arrived, and it was only a matter of time that he would start meddling in the affairs of Port Royal and her denizens.

While a deist and having his own private chapel in which to worship if the rare urge struck him, Lord Beckett felt the best way to meet his new neighbors and to announce his presence and intentions for Port Royal was by popping into the local churches for Sunday services. Being one of the larger congregations and attended by many naval families, he chose to start at St. Peter’s Church. Reverend Wright was uncomfortable at the thought of having civil matters interrupting his religious services, but Lord Beckett reassured him that he was doing it in good faith and that it was a one off event to take place prior to the start of the actual liturgy.

“I feel uneasy,” Theo whispered to Catherine as the congregants were taking their seats. “Governor Swann said that Lord Beckett has not even met formally with him as of yet, and here he is prepared to tell us what he plans to do with us all.”

“Well, he will need full support of the navy and marines if he means to get anything accomplished, won’t he?” Catherine asked.

“He already has a significant percentage of the admiralty in his pocket, but at a backwater post such as Port Royal, he will certainly need to rely on local leadership. Let us hope that my superiors are as cautious as Weatherby is being. Thankfully, the lower down you go in rank, the more likely it is that a sailor disdains the man.”

“If only James were here,” she sighed. “At his peak when he still had his wits about him, he was fully capable of balancing the desires of the admiralty with the needs of the locals. Well, we best sit down. I will see you after the service,” she went and sat in her pew on the women’s side of the church.

Lord Beckett ascended the small set of stairs to the pulpit and stood behind it looking quite small compared to Reverend Wright who usually stood there. After taking a moment to look at his audience, he introduced himself and simply stated that he hoped that with the help of the citizens of Port Royal that all would benefit from the flourishing of the East India Trading Company under his directorship. Before stepping down, he added without any elaboration that it was everyone’s duty as Christians and good citizens of the crown to purge society of those that sought to participate in any acts of piracy and those that turned in any such criminals would be well rewarded not only in the present life but also the afterlife. Reverend Wright, seated on the platform behind where Beckett stood, could not help but to roll his eyes that Beckett presumed to speak on behalf of the Lord on such matters.

After the service had concluded, Lord Beckett remained in the church so that the congregants could be introduced to him. Catherine felt bad for the church wardens who got roped into performing the introductions as Beckett had not bothered to bring any of his staff with him outside of those manning his carriage. While tired and much preferring to head home in the company of Theo who was to dine with her, she stayed lest she appear rude for leaving.

“This is Mrs. Catherine Gillette, widow of First Lieutenant Andrew Gillette,” Mr. Thomas announced as she curtseyed in front of Lord Beckett, “in the company of Lieutenant Theodore Groves,” Theo bowed.

“Madam,” Lord Beckett, who was about half an inch shorter than Catherine, gently took her hand and kissed it. “I see by your mourning clothes that it has not been long since the death of your husband,” he said looking directly at Theo before looking back at her.

“No, sir, it has not even been four months yet,” she replied feeling a bit unnerved at his forwardness.

“My lord, we are not courting. I am merely a guardian of sorts to Mrs. Gillette,” Theo clarified. “Her husband was dear to us officers, and we feel it our duty to protect and look after her.”

“I see. Please forgive me for assuming more. Ah, yes,” Beckett tilted his head in thought still holding her hand, “I now recall reading Commodore Norrington’s formal report to the admiralty as I also have unresolved personal matters concerning the pirate Captain Jack Sparrow. The commodore commended your husband Andrew’s brave sacrifice and credited him with saving his life. Where is the commodore anyway? I had hoped to see him here.”

“I am afraid Commodore Norrington resigned his commission quite recently much to our grief,” Theo explained as Catherine frowned.

“I am sorry to learn of it. He was exactly the kind of man that I need in leadership of the naval forces here in Port Royal. And I do recall my senior clerk Mr. Mercer reporting that you were quite close and intimate with the commodore, Mrs. Gillette. I cannot imagine the pain you must be experiencing losing two men that you dearly loved. Please be in contact if I may be of any service to you.”

Feeling as if they had been probed a bit invasively by the little lord, Catherine and Theo walked in silence for a while on their way back to Philadelphia House. Finally Theo spoke, “How does he know such intimate details of our lives? Some of the information he knew regarding our personal matters and relationships would never have been in any of James’ reports.”

“He mentioned his clerk Mr. Mercer. Weatherby told me that Mercer was a double agent and assassin during the Jacobite risings. I have no idea what he looks like, and for all we know, Mercer or one of his associates may have been spying on all of us the entire time Beckett’s manor was being built. Theo, for what is worth, I have never been inappropriately intimate with James despite what Beckett insinuated,” she felt her cheeks become warm as she blushed at the thought.

“Oh, he was quite full of insinuations!” he spat. “He had quite some nerve to say the things he did let alone in a church!”

“When he kissed my hand, I wanted to crawl under a pew and disappear! Blech!”

“He seems to think of himself as charming!” Theo could not help but to laugh with Catherine joining him.

Later after they had finished eating, Catherine took a sip of wine before suddenly finding herself confessing out loud, “Lord Beckett did get one thing right. I do love James, and I mean as more than a friend. I always have and probably always will. We were all so young, and Andrew took me a bit by surprise when he proposed. Did James ever feel the same way that I have felt for him all this time? I do not know for sure. I have a feeling that even if he did he never acted upon it for the same reasons as I.”

“Andrew?”

“Yes,” she nodded. “God I miss him. Lately I wonder if I should have just said something to him about it. He was not one to act possessive or jealous. Would he have been hurt? Maybe a little bit. But I swear that he loved James as much as he loved me.”

“Every once in a while there would be rumors among the men, usually from new crew members that did not know them well, about Andrew and James being, well,” Theo paused and nervously took a big gulp of wine before continuing, “sexually intimate. It is illegal but it is not an unusual occurrence for such a thing to happen in the navy. And we’re all loyal to each other to a fault and would never snitch. And usually when it does happen, one can pick up on the signs of it—”

“Theo, it’s fine. If they did in fact share something intimate between them like that, I do not mind. It would be some consolation to know that James found comfort in someone’s arms from time to time. And we well know it was someone that he loved and was loved in return.”

“I was about to say that I do not think that they were in a relationship like that. If they were, they hid it very well,” he clarified. “But if they were not already, I think that if you were not a factor, they might have tipped over that edge. Damn, Andrew had a thirst for you that could not be quenched!”

She gasped, “How much did he tell you?”

“Do not worry, Catherine, your propriety and the specific details of your bedroom romps with Andrew are safe. He never would have compromised you or your marriage bed. But it was obvious to those of us that knew him that he only had eyes for you. He always had a certain mood about him that we could tell it meant that he had a nice evening at home.”

“Or morning. Or afternoon. And not just at home!” she could not help but to laugh at how awkward this conversation had become.

“If by some miracle James came back to his senses and came to you, would you have him?”

“I would,” she nodded. “As it was so easy for Mr. Mercer to make the wrong assumption about James and me, I must ask. Did you or anyone you know ever suspect the same?”

“No, you have done well hiding your feelings. I have never heard any such rumors amongst the men however I cannot speak in regard to the women of Port Royal society. Any small acts of intimacy that I had witnessed between the two of you over the years I felt were in the context of close friendship. Although, in hindsight, you really had it out for Miss Swann. If you had started a brawl with her, I would have rooted for you!” he held up a fist making her laugh.

“Ugh, I must admit that I am still quite bitter about what she did to James. He might still be here with us if she kept her word.” A brief silence ensued as they thought about that. “Theo, I have never told anyone about any of this before. Thank you for listening,” she confessed.

“You’re welcome,” he smiled. “I know that you did not ask it of me, but I will keep our conversation in confidentiality. Especially now that it seems we have at least two sets of prying eyes in Port Royal.”

“Bless you, Theo. You have been such a good friend and help to me in these difficult times, and I think that you’ve earned the right to be named godfather to this child whenever he or she decides to make their entrance into this world,” she put her hand on her belly.

“Really?”

“Oh? Oh!” she rubbed her belly. “It is the first time I have felt the babe move about. I think the child agrees with my decision. You have been chosen Lieutenant Theodore Groves,” she smiled.

“Then it would be my honor!”

Early May, Catherine awoke to the sound of rain pattering on her windowpanes. _“What a shame,”_ she thought noting the weather, for that day was to be Elizabeth Swann’s elaborate outdoor wedding ceremony at the governor’s mansion. Catherine had been invited as many of the navy officers and their wives had been, and Lieutenant Theodore Groves offered to escort her. Sighing, Catherine rolled over in bed only to suddenly feel ill. _“The midwife said that the morning sickness should have worn off by now,”_ she grumbled in her head. _“Perhaps after having some breakfast I will feel better. Maybe I am just feeling a bit agitated at the thought of his horrid wedding.”_

After forcing some food down, Catherine went about getting ready. She honestly did not care to go due to the resentment she still felt towards Miss Swann for hurting James, but Theodore had been so good to her that she felt it would be nice to do him the favor. It would also prove a good opportunity for her to scope out eligible young ladies to nudge Theo towards. Of course, she also wanted to be there for Governor Swann’s sake. As she dressed she suddenly felt a slight twinge in her lower abdomen. It was not very painful, so she just ignored it and continued getting dressed. Later that morning she felt unusually tired and noted that she really did not feel well at all. By the time Theodore arrived, she could barely stand it anymore.

“Catherine, are you alright?” he asked after noticing she looked pale and a bit distressed.

“I’m not feeling very well,” she put a hand to her head.

“Well, perhaps you should not go to the wedding. Do you think you are coming down with one of your fevers? If you are unwell, you should get some rest especially since you are with child.”

“But I promised to you and Weatherby that I would go,” she insisted.

“No, I will not have you risk your health or the health of your unborn child, and you know Weatherby will understand. Come now, let’s get you upstairs,” he took her hand and led her up the stairs. “While you get into your nightgown, I’ll go downstairs and get you some tea.”

“Thank you for everything,” she smiled weakly. “I don’t know what I would do without you, Theo. Maybe you can be my new maid,” she managed to tease.

After getting her some tea and tucking her in bed, Theodore promised that he would come back later that day and tell her all about the wedding. Catherine slept all afternoon fitfully and had a couple more twinges of pain in her abdomen. She started to become slightly worried, but decided that she was probably just being paranoid. True to his word, Theodore came back to tell her all the details, but he had a look on his face that worried Catherine.

“What’s wrong, Theo? Did something bad happen at the wedding?” she asked as she curled up on the settee in the parlor.

“Well, there was no wedding,” he said as he sat down in a chair.

“What do you mean? Did one of them get cold feet?”

“No, they were both arrested.”

“Arrested! What for?”

“They were arrested by some soldiers under the command of Lord Cutler Beckett. He had warrants for their arrest because they helped Jack Sparrow escape the noose, but now they face that very same noose,” he explained.

“How awful! Cannot Governor Swann do anything about it?”

“I’m afraid not. The king himself signed the warrants.”

“The nerve of that little man to come to this city and feign wanting to do its citizens some good. I bet he was planning this all along!”

Theodore shifted uncomfortably in his chair, “Catherine, I do not want to upset you while you are in such a state already, but I thought it would be best if you were to hear it now and from me.”

“Tell me.”

“Lord Beckett had three warrants. The third one was for James. He also faces a death sentence if they find and arrest him,” Theodore frowned.

“No, not James,” she gasped quietly. “Is there nothing that can be done? Has he not been punished by life enough as it is? He does not deserve to die a criminal’s death. This is a travesty of justice, and they have no right to take his life!” she spoke passionately.

“I know, Catherine, and you’re right. I don’t know what can be done, though. If only we knew where he was, we could try to warn him. I suppose all we can do is pray for his welfare.”

"Yes, I suppose so," she frowned.

"Are you feeling any better?"

"Not particularly. I’m quite fatigued and nearly broke into a fever this afternoon. I probably just need to make sure I get some rest, though."

"Are you sure? I can go fetch a doctor if you would like," he offered.

"Thank you, Theo, but I do not think it is necessary."

"Very well.”

“I remember when Andrew used to obsess from time to time thinking that I had consumption,” she cracked a smile.

“Yes, bless him,” he thought fondly. “Well, I suppose I should be on my way to the fort as I have duty this evening. Would you like me to stop by tomorrow morning to make sure you're fine?"

"Yes, that would be nice of you. I do not think there is anything to be worried about, but it would be good of you to stop by just in case. Could you let Mrs. Wright know what is going on as well?”

“Certainly.”

Catherine slept well most of the night out of exhaustion until she was disturbed by another sudden sharp pain early that morning. Other than the pain, she did think that she felt a bit better, so she thought that perhaps she had simply strained or pulled a muscle. After eating a light breakfast, she waited for Theodore who came just like he said he would. The pair went outside to sit in the garden for a while and talk of the previous day's events until Catherine suddenly winced and held her hand to her abdomen. Her face growing pale, Theodore quickly rushed to her side.

“Catherine, are you alright?” he asked putting his hand gently over her own.

“I’m suddenly not feeling so well again. I’m in much pain. I think something is wrong,” she gasped out. “I’m frightened.”

“Do you think you can walk?”

“Yes, I think so.”

“I will help you inside and will send the driver for a doctor and a midwife immediately,” he stated as he helped her out of her seat. She gasped and held her abdomen as the pain worsened causing her to nearly collapse, but Theodore steadied her making sure she did not fall to the ground.

“I’m not sure if I can make it,” she said weakly.

“Do you mind if I carry you?” he asked before she fainted in his arms. Theodore carefully carried her inside and laid her down on the settee before running out and asking the driver to find a doctor and midwife. He then ran back inside to tend to Catherine who was regaining consciousness.

“Theodore, it hurts so much. Something is just not right,” she moaned. “I have not felt the babe move in quite some time now.”

“Perhaps you ate something that was spoiled,” he suggested in ignorance.

“I certainly hope that is the case, but I fear that there is something wrong with the child,” she said with tears in her eyes. “This is somewhat what it was like the last time.”

"Would you like me to help you to your bedroom?"

"Yes, please, if you would."

After Theodore helped her struggle up the stairs and to her bedroom, Catherine nearly screamed out as the worst pain she had experienced yet shot through her abdomen as she collapsed onto the bed. Theodore pulled her shoes and stockings off before helping her swing her legs onto the bed.He noticed there was some blood on her stockings and legs.

Taking out his handkerchief and wiping the sweat from her forehead, Theodore then grabbed her hand and held it tight. "Stay with me Catherine. Please hold on. The doctor and midwife should be here soon."

"I wish Andrew or James was here," she sobbed.

"I know, dear. I know," he tried to soothe her. “Try to imagine that Andrew is here with us just now. It may distract you from the pain.”

The doctor and a midwife finally arrived after what felt like hours. After having Theodore leave the room and wait downstairs, the doctor and the midwife, Mrs. Beasley, began to examine Catherine.Theodore sat at the bottom of the stairs and did his best to stay calm. He truly felt concern for Catherine as he had become quite fond of her and their friendship. It took all of his self-control to keep himself from running up the stairs and bursting into the room when he heard Catherine moaning and screaming in pain and the doctor and Mrs. Beasley trying to reassure and comfort her.Finally, things quieted down, and Theodore could hear someone walking around. After a while longer, he heard the door opening, so he ran up the stairs to find the doctor holding a pile sheets in arms and his bag in his hand. Mrs. Beasley remained in the room and continued looking after Catherine.

“Lad, are you this woman’s husband?” the doctor asked.

“No, sir, I am only a dear friend. She is a widow. I served with her late husband in the navy,” he explained.

“I see. Well, then, I suppose you’re the one who needs to hear this. Let us first go downstairs lest we disturb the women.” After sitting down with Theodore, the doctor began to explain, “Lad, I’m afraid the young woman has lost the child she was carrying. There was nothing I could do. I’m very sorry.”

“I understand,” he said sadly. “Will she be alright?”

“Yes, she likely will, but for the next few days she must stay in bed for she is at risk for bleeding or fever. She will need someone to help take care of her. Does she have any other children?”

“No, this was to be their first child.”

“Then I am afraid that emotionally her recovery will be quite long and difficult especially given the fact that she is a new widow. She will need much support through this trying time.”

“I will see to it that she receives the care that she needs. She and her husband were always good to me. I cannot bear the idea of abandoning her at such a time as this.”

“You are a good man. For posterity’s sake, do you wish to see the child before I take it away for burial?”

“Did you allow Mrs. Gillette to see?”

“Yes, after we washed the babe and swaddled it, she held it for a little while.”

“I will look,” Theo nodded and nervously accepted the bundle of sheets into his arms.

The doctor gently uncovered the babe and explained, “It was to be a boy.”

Noting the fine tint of red hair on the child’s head, Theo could not help but to weep, “He would have had red hair just like his papa.” Having had ample opportunity to grieve over the swaddled infant in his arms, Theo reverently wrapped the child back up and handed him back to the doctor. “Would you be able to notify Reverend Wright and his household of what occurred here today?”

“I was actually going there first to consult him as the child was not stillborn when I delivered him. He tried to take a few breaths and made some small movements, but being born so early and underdeveloped, there was nothing that I could do to save him. He may qualify for baptism and a Christian burial.”

“I hope that is the case as Catherine may find that a comfort.”

“In the meantime, if for some reason her condition worsens, do not resist sending for me. Poor thing, life has not been kind to her lately, has it?”

Standing outside the tanner’s shop in Tortuga drinking from a flask, James waited impatiently for the doctor to give him news on Giselle’s health. Only three months earlier had she walked to the docks without aid and said farewell to her two children and Mrs. Campbell, and now she could barely do anything for herself.

Although it was only a short time that he got to know the children, James relished in experiencing a taste of the domestic life that he had always wanted. Despite the children not knowing their fathers and having little to no male influence in their lives, in their innocence they quickly developed a trust and fondness for James. One night the week before they were to leave, James felt his hardened heart melt as little Scarlett kissed his cheek and then fell asleep in his arms as he read a bedtime story to her. Another time, he swore that he overheard George whispering to his little sister, “Perhaps he is going to be our papa.”

Having come to Tortuga in an attempt to start a new life, James could not help but to hold on to a small hope that perhaps the doctor had been wrong about Giselle having consumption, and that he, her, and the children could somehow make things work together in England. Yes, in his mind Giselle could never measure up to Catherine or even Elizabeth, but James could not deny that he felt a certain fondness for the woman. Despite the lot life had handed to her, she took the opportunity that he gave her to fight back and make the best of things. He could not help but to feel a degree of guilt, however, in that the few times he and Giselle made love he still cried out Catherine’s name upon finding his release. He felt as if he were merely using Giselle. But unlike the first time it happened, Giselle did not seem to mind. She admitted that she was just happy to have him at her side, the company of a proper gentleman. Yes, he could get used to this domestic bliss even if it was a counterfeit of what he could have had with Catherine.

_“It was a fool’s hope,”_ James sighed as he heard the doctor coming down the stairs. _“I still cannot believe how quickly she started to deteriorate after the children were gone.”_

“It is hard to estimate, but maybe a month’s time. Two if she is lucky. At this point, I do not think she would survive an Atlantic crossing. I’m sorry. I had no idea she would decline this quickly,” the doctor apologized.

“I think she misses the children,” he frowned. “Maybe deep down she always thought that it would be better for them not to see their mother die. Their grandmother recently wrote that they have adjusted well and are thriving. And as soon as she read that, she just looked at peace and no longer frantically spoke of coming up with the money needed to purchase fare for her journey to England.”

“She has you to thank for getting them out of this shit hole. Once she’s gone, do yourself a favor and get yourself out of here as well.”

James returned to Giselle’s side gently dabbing the sweat from her brow before giving her a kiss on the cheek the hair of his beard scratching her. “Mmm, Jamie,” Giselle smiled weakly being awakened by him. “While I have always thought that the beard looks good on you, I wish you would shave.”

“If it is what you wish,” he took her hand.

“Doc says I haven’t long now. When I sleep, I feel as if I am already halfway crossed over. Sometimes I can see that proverbial white light off in the distance. I’m not frightened. If anything, I’m angry that I am still here and stuck somewhere between here and the afterlife. I’ve made my peace, and my children are safe.”

“But what about me? Why must I always be the one left behind?”

“Stop pitying yourself. And what about Catherine? You were the one that left her behind!”

He looked away feeling a mixture of anger and grief before admitting, “You’re right.”

“It’s about damn time that you admit it, too! You listen to me, James Norrington. When I am gone, you get your ass out of this godforsaken dump and go back to her even if you have to crawl on your hands and knees and beg her to have you. You have the opportunity for a second chance that many do not get. Do it for Andrew. Do it for me. Do it for Catherine. And do it for yourself because, as we have discussed many times before, you do deserve it.”

“Take what you can.”

“Give nothing back. My other dying wish?”

“Jack Sparrow.”

“Yes, I know your search for him cost you everything. But if you bump into him, make sure justice is served for both of us.”

A couple weeks later, James shaved off his beard while the local vicar said prayers with Giselle and one of her friends. After they had left, sitting on the edge of Giselle’s bed next to her, he gently took her hand and stroked his clean-shaven cheek with it. She was very weak and struggling to breathe, but a small smile spread across her lips at the sensation as she managed to whisper out his name, “James.” Putting her hand back down making sure she was comfortable, he kissed her on the cheek. The next morning when he awoke in the chair next to her bed, she was gone having passed quietly in her sleep. Weeping, he kissed her forehead and covered her with the sheet before kneeling beside her bed to pray for her. That was where her friends found him when they arrived, and after peeling him away from her side, they tended to her body.

As the rent for the small residence had already been paid for the month, James returned to its empty rooms that evening after a hasty service and burial for Giselle. Opening a bottle of rum, James sat on the floor of the small sitting room and began to drink. He recalled how when he first arrived in Tortuga that he thought that he had time to sort things out for him and Giselle. Looking down at the coat of his uniform and recalling how he had sold some of its gold buttons and brocade, he remembered how only about a month ago he rushed about in haste trying to obtain the money desperately needed to get Giselle home to England. He even sold the buckles of his shoes and now wore a pair of second hand boots.

_“You must stop this, James,”_ Giselle told him one evening upon seeing him pull out Catherine’s snuff box out of his pocket. _“Let me see it,”_ she took it from his hand and opened it finding Andrew’s poesy ring inside. _“Don’t you dare even think of selling these things! There isn’t time left to get me home, but there is time to make things right with the woman you love.”_

Starting to weep, James rooted around in his coat pockets hoping to find a clean handkerchief. Locating one, he pulled on it and with it came the letters that Catherine had written to him just prior to his hasty escape from Port Royal. He had never bothered reading them. He had been too afraid. Until now. Breaking the seal of one of the letters, through his tears he started to read.

Feeling exhausted after finishing the letters and the bottle of rum, James curled up on the floor in the same spot he had been sitting and started to drift off to sleep. Clutching Catherine’s letters in his hand, he felt as if he could almost hear her speaking to him.

_“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Governor Swann has had enough of that office door, too!
> 
> The "great pox" that Giselle spoke of was another name for syphilis. Many fans conjecture that the mark on Jack's jawline is from the disease. 
> 
> There will be a little lingering darkness next chapter, but the healing process will also be starting as we transition into DMC.


	21. The Promise of Redemption

Having finally read the letters that she wrote to him just prior to his departure from Port Royal, James decided that Catherine still did love him even if it was only in terms of friendship and despite the role that he felt that he had in Andrew’s death. And this love gave him the first inkling of hope that he had felt in a very long time. Unlike his hope that Giselle would recover from consumption, this hope actually felt real and meant there was the possibility of reconciliation. And so, upon waking up feeling well hungover the day after Giselle’s death, James resolved that he had to get his life put back together. His old life, that is, and not his “new life” in which he was currently existing.

James would quickly find, however, that wanting to do something and actually doing it were two different things. His old enemies of grief, guilt, and alcohol were not so ready to give him up so easily. But gradually, he started to forgive himself for his little defeats in trying to overcome them also all the while scheming as to how to get himself out of that godforsaken town of Tortuga.

He had learned weeks ago that there was a price on his head, and it certainly added to his difficulties as it would be important to keep a lower profile lest someone be ambitious enough to attempt to abduct him and turn him in for the prize. But, he also had his allies in the form of other formal naval officers and sailors that had fallen victim to their own vices. And it was through one of these allies that he learned of a rumor regarding Lord Beckett having signed Letters of Marque stolen from him at gunpoint by none other than his ex-fiancee Elizabeth Swann who was now a fugitive.

“Aye, they say that the governor’s daughter and her fiancé were arrested on their wedding day before they even made it down the aisle!” the ex-gunner relayed. “They were to hang for aiding in the escape of Jack Sparrow. She’s run off, and her fiancé also somehow escaped. Without her, mind you.”

“That bastard,” James scowled. “After everything Governor Swann did for Turner, and he goes and saves his own skin leaving Miss Swann to pay the price! Has anyone heard of where she might be?”

“Some say she’s looking for Sparrow. Maybe she was wanting to be with him all along?”

“Indeed,” he felt sick to the stomach at the thought. _“Seems that I did not know Elizabeth as well as I thought. Perhaps it was a small mercy that she rejected me. In the end, I might have to face the idea of betraying her if she finds herself between me and my redemption. A Letter of Marque would grant me my salvation.”_

Back in Port Royal, it had been two weeks since the untimely loss of the Gillettes’ child, and Catherine had barely uttered a word the entire time since then. Beatrice Wright and her mother took turns tending to her, and despite his own current difficulties pertaining to Elizabeth, when Governor Swann learned of what happened, he thoughtfully ensured that a maid was there to spend the nights at Philadelphia House. Theo visited as often as possible occasionally bringing with him small gifts or flowers in an attempt to brighten Catherine’s spirits.

“Oh, you’re burning up,” Beatrice frowned pulling the sheets off Catherine attempting to cool her. “Don’t worry, dear. Theo and the doctor will be here shortly,” she dabbed the sweat off Catherine’s brow with a cool cloth. “Here, have some sips of water.”

Besides being relatively mute, Catherine had developed quite a bad fever leaving the women to worry that she had developed some sort of complications after giving birth. While Catherine knew it was likely an episode of the fevers that she had experienced for most of her adult life, part of her did not mind the thought of actually having an illness that would result in her death and God taking her away to be with Andrew and their son.

Finally, Theodore and Governor Swann’s personal physician arrived, and after examining her, the doctor recalled her previous troubles with fevers and also confirmed that he did not feel that she had anything that was likely fatal other than perhaps a broken heart.

“The reverend sends his love and wants me to reassure you by reminding you that your son was able to be baptized and given a Christian burial,” Mrs. Townsend explained that evening as she and Beatrice helped Catherine get into the bathtub as she was in need of a good scrub.

“Governor Swann insists on paying for a gravestone. Isn’t that lovely of him? It would be nice if you could give him a name to be put on it, Catie,” Beatrice started to wash her hair.

Catherine nodded slightly but did not answer which was her habit as of late, but as the women continued to wash her, she suddenly stated, “Thaddeus. His name is to be Thaddeus Andrew Gillette.”

“A strong, fine name,” Mrs. Townsend smiled gently before excusing herself to check on some food she had cooking in the kitchen.

“I briefly considered Daniel, but none of this is the child’s fault.”

“Daniel, meaning ‘God is my judge’,” Beatrice thought aloud.

“God’s judgement upon me is complete. He has taken away Andrew and now our son. I only hope that he shows me mercy and takes me, too,” she fought back tears. “I am at peace with the thought of dying soon if it is God has willed.”

“Why do you think that God is judging you? Surely you do not think that you are being punished for something. Please share with me what you are thinking.”

“I was blessed with a husband that loved me unconditionally, and yet I spat upon that blessing by longing for another man, the very man that was Andrew’s best friend. I suppose it is only fitting that this man has abandoned me, too.”

“James Norrington?”

“Yes, James,” she said his name almost wistfully. “He was and always will be my first love, but we were not meant to be. We were all three so young. Things happened so quickly. I had to make a decision, and I chose Andrew. But I never could let go of it and feel as if I have been tiptoeing around both James and Andrew for all these years. If Andrew ever suspected, he never let on. And James? I honestly do not know if he ever felt anything for me outside of friendship. I suppose now I will never know. I do not think he will ever come back. I cannot help but to feel as I have failed him, too.”

“Did you ever intentionally try to elicit an adulterous relationship with James? Did you ever feel lust for him?”

“No.”

“Then stop this fussing, dear. It could not have been easy for you to feel love so deeply for two men at the same time. You had to feel as if you were being constantly torn in two!”

“Even with Andrew gone, I do still feel that way. And I miss them both so much.”

“Well, then we will pray that Mr. Norrington experiences a revelation, comes to his senses, and returns to us one day soon!”

After a brief time of silence, Catherine spoke up again. “Even though I knew that Thaddeus was not long for this world and it was difficult watching him slipping away so quickly, I still felt such joy to be able to hold him for the short time that I had. He really did look like his papa even though he was not yet fully formed. Andrew would have been so proud to know that he had a son,” she started to sniffle.

“They are together and neither are in pain, and we will see them again. I know that you know that, but sometimes it is difficult to find comfort in it when your heart is so full of pain.”

“I am not sure if I will ever recover from this.”

“It is true that some people never do recover from their grief, but I know you are strong, Catie. I have faith that together we will get you through this. I think that you will find a reason to live again.”

After her fever finally broke and her postpartum bleeding had lessened, gradually with much support from her friends, Catherine began to come back out of her shell and do more than merely exist. The entire ordeal had physically weakened her a bit, and the doctor recommended gentle exercise in the form of walks and light gardening to help her regain her strength and to soothe her soul. She could not help but to admit that she had missed tending to the chickens and her flowers. One day, Theodore even was able to persuade her to take a walk with him to the end of the lane where her and Andrew’s bench still sat on the hill overlooking Port Royal.

“I must give you credit, Theo,” Catherine managed a small smile as they sat down on the bench. “This was a good idea. Thank you for suggesting it and being patient with me.”

“You’re quite welcome, Catie. I’m glad that you found it helpful for you. It makes me and everyone else quite happy to see you getting well and regaining your strength.”

“Some days the fatigue is still quite difficult, and I must remind myself that it is acceptable to rest when I need it. But I do feel that I am getting stronger day by day. I can tell you want to say something but are worried. Go on.”

“I must admit that you gave us a bit of a scare. I was worried that you were going to give up. You may be recovering physically, but how are you in other terms? If you do not want to discuss it, we can speak of something else.”

“It’s alright, and thank you for your concern. I do admit that I think that I did give up briefly, but God had other plans. Sometimes, particularly at night, the heartache still feels almost unbearable. But I think that I am coming to terms with the idea that it is not my fault.”

“Of course none of it is your fault. I swear that you and James are peas in a pod when it comes to guilt,” he smiled and winked. “Neither you nor James had any part in Andrew’s death. He chose to put James’ life before his own and was the victim of an unfortunate accident. Sacrifice is what you do when you love someone, but I know that you know that. Actually, I think we men take for granted how many sacrifices women must make.”

“You are quite a progressive thinker, Theo,” she complimented him before they fell into a comfortable silence. After a bit, she spoke again, “Thank you for being there the night that I lost Thaddeus. I visited his burial site with Beatrice the other day. Weatherby had a lovely stone placed there, and he had a few words commemorating Andrew’s memory placed on it as well. It has made it a little easier for me. Part of me wishes I still had him here, but perhaps it was for the best. Being a mother and alone would have been very difficult even with help from friends.”

“It was my honor to be of aid to you and to have the opportunity to hold little Thaddeus even if just for a short time. I think that I understand what you mean, and I cannot imagine how hard it would have been to have a constant reminder of Andrew running around the house.”

“Although it is likely my mind playing tricks on me in trying to cope with his loss, sometimes I swear Andrew is haunting me. It’s never frightening, but sometimes it is as if I hear him speaking in another room of the house or see him out of the corner of my eye.”

“Weatherby mentioned that James said something similar, you know. Not sure if I believe in ghosts, but if Andrew is haunting you, at least he is a benevolent spirit.”

“I will know it is him for certain if he starts doing naughty things to vex me!” she smirked.

“Aye, that would be confirmation!”

“There’s been so much attention on me as of late. How are you doing, Theo? This all has been quite hard on you as well.”

“I will be honest in that I have a wee cry about it now and then when I’m alone and get to thinking about it all. It’s difficult to spend time with my other mates from the navy at the pub at the moment as I get to thinking about James and Andrew and all the good times we had together. Usually I would look forward to my time on duty as an opportunity to be distracted from it all, but since the arrest of Miss Swann and Mr. Turner, it’s gotten quite bad. I swear Lord Beckett is the devil embodied.”

“Oh dear, what is happening?”

“It’s awful, Catie,” Theo sighed. “I know that you have not been there recently, but please continue to stay away from the fort. There’s been a hanging nearly every day this week. Even the citizens are getting weary of it as the size of the crowd dwindles more and more each day. The man is on a witch hunt. It was different when James was putting forth his efforts in eradicating piracy. The men that we were apprehending were actual criminals. But Beckett is apprehending and sentencing people with even the weakest connections to known pirates. He cares not for age or gender either. It’s getting out of hand.”

“James was willing to show mercy when appropriate,” she nodded.

“He was, and he was willing to rehabilitate when possible particularly if they were young or repentant. By the way, stay away from him,” he warned. “He inquired after you last week, and afterwards I felt like I was going to be sick.”

“Beckett did?” she asked for clarification arching her brow.

“Yes, the little troll himself. I do not know what his intentions are towards you. Ugh!” he growled in disgust. “If only James were here, I think he could handle him.”

“I wish James was here, too. I have always felt safe with him near.”

Time passed and despite her grief, Catherine found that she was surprised with herself at her own strength to carry on in the face of such loss. As her health allowed, she pushed herself to do her best to be social again and to look out for the needs of others. In particular, she was worried about Governor Swann who had been looking very weary as of late. Full of constant worry over his daughter who was a fugitive of the law and feeling pressured from Lord Beckett to do his bidding, Weatherby was not his usual jovial self. Many invitations to tea were extended to him by Catherine and he gratefully accepted them all.

Feeling recovered in body and in mind, lastly Catherine decided that it was time to recover in spirit. She had not graced the doors of St. Peter’s Church for months since the loss of Thaddeus, but with much encouragement from the Wrights, she finally attended Sunday services. Many of the congregants welcomed her expressing their joy in seeing her amongst their number once again. Things almost felt normal again aside from the empty spots in the pew on the men’s side of the church where Andrew and James used to sit.

One night sometime in August it finally happened. Having read a poem from a newspaper clipping that her cousin Charlotte had sent with her latest letter, she wept feeling so moved by the verse. As she wept with her eyes tightly shut, she felt as if she could distinctly feel Andrew’s hand on her shoulder. Weeping harder, she prayed for forgiveness and for the strength to forgive herself. After calming and feeling quite tired, she went to bed. Once asleep, she had the most pleasant dream.

Finding herself in the garden of Philadelphia House on a sunny day, Catherine found Andrew sitting in a chair beaming at a sleeping infant in his arms, and he appeared as young as he was when they were married. Her dream self noted how peaceful they appeared and feared disturbing them but could not help but to draw closer to get a better view. Andrew looked up and noticed her presence.

 _“Hello darling,”_ he smiled. _“It’s about time you’ve come. As you’re here, I know it means that you’ve finally forgiven yourself. You now realize that you never hurt me, and nothing you did contributed to my death or the death of our child.”_

_“I miss you so much.”_

_“I know you miss me something awful, but do not fret. I am safe, have no pain, and am in peace. I know how difficult it was for you to give Thaddeus up to heaven so soon, Catie, but thank you for giving me such a beautiful son. He has your eyes and is growing so quickly,”_ he gently kissed the babe’s forehead. _“We will be reunited one day, but it is my understanding that you have much left to do first. I want you to be happy and to feel loved, and I want you to do whatever is needed to achieve that. I do not want you to be alone and would not begrudge you if you found another husband. As long as he shows you the same care and devotion that I did, of course,”_ he winked.

_“No one could ever replace you, Andrew.”_

_“If James humbles himself enough to come to you, please help our dear friend. I fear for his soul. I know he needs you with me gone and that he would never admit to it, so I tricked him by asking him to look after you before I passed.”_

_“I fear that I have failed him. He has run away to God knows where.”_

_“I’m not surprised, but do not worry as he was likely afraid. He has wounds that need to heal and work through some troubles on his own. The bonds between the three of us were too strong, and before long, I have a feeling he will not be able to resist being drawn back to you. He would never had admitted it openly to me, but I know he loves you, Catie. Well, it appears that it is time for you to go. I love you always, Catherine.”_

“Andrew!” Catherine sat up awake in bed as both bedroom windows suddenly slammed shut startling her. Climbing out of bed, she pulled the curtains out of the way and reopened the one window noting a shooting star in the distance. “Goodbye, my love, and thank you. I actually feel free from guilt for the first time,” she smiled and breathed in the fragrant night air. “Now if only the prodigal son would return to us."

Feeling a weight lifted off her shoulders, Catherine finally felt that life was worth living again. She was not sure if her dream was a real “vision from heaven” or not, but she did not care. While her friends had mixed opinions on the matter, they also ultimately did not care as they were happy that she had found her spark again. Naturally, there were still days where she felt the sting of grief, but she no longer felt consumed or overcome by it. And she took dream Andrew’s words to heart. She had much more to do and more life to live. Soon one September day she found one of the tasks that God had set before her when Beatrice Wright came knocking at her front door.

“Good morning, Catherine,” Beatrice smiled as a young woman hid slightly behind her.

“It is a lovely morning, isn’t it? And who is this?” Catherine smiled at the young woman.

“This is Jane Smith,” she motioned for the young woman to come out from hiding. “Jane, this is Mrs. Catherine Gillette.”

“Hello, Jane.”

“Hello, mistress,” Jane dipped in a small curtsey.

“Shall we all go to the garden? Some chicks have just hatched. Perhaps, Jane, you would like to see them while Bea and I get some tea for us?”

“Yes, mistress, that would be nice,” she nodded.

After leaving young Jane in the garden to see the chicks, Catherine and Beatrice busied themselves making some tea and setting out some nibbles. “How did you come to meet Miss Smith?” Catherine inquired.

“Catie, her story is horrible, poor girl. As I’m sure Lieutenant Groves has been keeping you informed, things in town have been getting worse. Last week, poor Jane hid under her bed when Beckett’s men broke down the door of her home and took her parents away. When she felt it was safe enough, she ran to the church and collapsed at my husband’s feet begging for sanctuary. Sanctuary is not something the Church of England practices, but we hid her away anyway until we were given written assurance by Beckett himself that she was not in any danger. From the bits that Jane has told me, it is my understanding that her mother Maria was a Spaniard with a cousin that was wanted for piracy, and so Beckett felt that was adequate reason for Maria and her husband to be prosecuted and hanged! He probably also felt justified due to the fact that Maria was a practicing Catholic. We protected Jane from seeing the hanging, but for closure, she requested to see their bodies before they were buried. Poor girl has been completely traumatized. She is startled by anything that sounds like a door banging which with three small children in the house is something that happens often.”

“She needs somewhere quiet and a bit more gentle while she recovers,” Catherine agreed. “You needn’t ask, why of course she can stay here with me.”

“You read my mind, dear friend. You are sure that it will not be too much for you?”

“I also lost my parents when I was young. I had Andrew to help me. Now I can return the favor and help her.”

“She is nearly eighteen and a good girl. She’s well-behaved although a little rough around the edges which I think is due to her parents having some marital and financial difficulties as she has relayed to me. I think you will get on together splendidly, but please tell me if things are not working out. I have often heard her crying at night, dear soul. Charles can bring her things over this afternoon if that is alright.”

“Sounds perfect. She can have my room. Never actually used it, but it is all done up nice and feminine. I think she will like it.”

Jane gratefully accepted the opportunity to stay at Philadelphia House and delighted in the room in which she was to stay as Catherine had hoped she would. Sensing that the girl was quite comfortable with her, Catherine asked Jane to tell her more about herself and her family later that day as they sat down to eat together.

“My full name is Jane Maria Smith. Maria was my mami’s name. My abuela, Itzel, was a Qʼeqchiʼ Mayan who was abducted by a Spaniard. He forced her to marry him. He claimed it was to save her soul. He dragged her all over the West Indies, and when he was drunk, which was often, he would beat her something awful even when she was pregnant. One morning she found her captor husband, my abuelo, dead from drinking too much, so she made her escape with my mami. She made it back to Belize to return to her home, but her village was empty. Afraid of being taken again by the Spaniards and with my mami only being a child at the time, she left and came here to Jamaica where she managed to raise my mami alone. She died before I was born, but my mami told me everything about her. I hope to have children to tell about her one day as well,” Jane smiled.

“Your grandmother sounds like she was a very strong woman, and you have every right to be proud of her and your heritage,” Catherine complimented and smiled back. “I had wondered given your black hair and complexion if you had native blood, but I was afraid to offend you by asking.”

“I would not have been offended, mistress.”

“Did your grandmother convert to Catholicism willingly, or was she forced to by her husband?”

“My mami explained to me that at first abuela was forced to convert, but even after the death of my abuelo, she still practiced Catholicism and also still held some of the beliefs of her people. Somehow my abuelo’s family managed to find my mami and abuela here in Jamaica. Abuelo’s brother was a priest that had to leave the church after falling in love with a nun and they wished to get married. He was sorry for what my abuelo had done and how he had treated my abuela, and he would occasionally send some money to support them. Unfortunately, it was one of his sons’ sins that led to my parents—,” she paused trying not to cry. Taking a deep breath, she finished, “My mami’s cousin, Diego, has been known to associate with the wrong sorts of people. And one of these people caused Lord Beckett to lose a shipment of cargo. Because we had hosted Diego in our home from time to time, Lord Beckett found that sufficient to charge my parents with aiding and abetting even though Diego had nothing to do with the lost cargo.”

“I’m so sorry, Jane,” she rubbed her back. “I hope that one day, somehow, you can get justice for your parents. They did not deserve what happened to them. What were they like?”

“I know that my parents loved each other, but as I got older and met other people like the Wrights, I started to realize that their marriage was full of— How shall I say it? Their marriage had its quirks. Everyone always thought of my father, Hezekiah, as a bit of an eccentric. I have no doubts that he loved me and mami, but he was a little controlling. He would get upset when mami would speak to me in Spanish or Q’eqchi’ especially if we were in public, and he absolutely forbade mami to teach me anything to do with Catholicism. She still did anyway when he wasn’t home,” she smirked. “For a long time, I thought that he behaved like that because he was ashamed of mami’s heritage, but given recent events, maybe fear was his motivation. Maybe he was trying to protect me, and he just could not figure out how best to do that.”

“Port Royal is quite diverse, and most people that live here are accepting of that. In the rest of the world, however, many are not so welcoming to people that are different, and unfortunately, even some of the people here are full of hate for people that do not look like them, act like them, or have different beliefs. My late husband was half Irish and part French, and while he easily passed as English, there would be times people would make offhand remarks in conversation about Irish bog-trotters or French froggies that I knew upset him. Thankfully, it was rare that he was called anything to his face. And people that are not pale-skinned are treated quite horribly compared to what my husband experienced. It is not a popular belief to hold currently, but my husband and I both quickly came to hold the opinion that slavery is wrong.”

“Aye, mistress, I always feel awful when having to pass through the slave market. And there were a couple spots in the produce market that mami and I would avoid as there were a couple merchants that refused to sell to us and would call us awful names. I daren’t repeat them!”

“Next time I need to go to the market, tell me which merchants they were. I refuse to support people that are full of hate!” Catherine insisted. “What did your father do for work?”

“By day he was a government clerk, but by night he fancied himself as an inventor. He was always tinkering with things. Alas, I do not think he was ever successful in making anything innovative. Mami always used to pester him to do something that would bring more money into the house, but he insisted that one day he would create something that would make us rich. They would bicker quite a lot sometimes, but at the end of the day, they always made sure that they forgave each other and expressed their love for one another.”

“Have you had any education? And how well can you do housework?”

“I can read, but my father did not think it was important for me to read anything other than the Bible. Said he did not want me to get my head full of nonsense lest I fall victim to hysterics. We could not afford books anyway, so maybe it was best that I did not form the habit of enjoying reading. I can do simple sums and finances. Mami taught me to cook and clean and to manage a house well enough.”

“Well, you’re welcome to read anything you want here if you desire it. We can work together to manage the house, and if I see you’re missing any skills, I am happy to teach you. And there will be plenty of opportunities for us to do social calls. Do you have any young men that were courting you?”

“No, mistress, father was leery of strangers, and so we mostly kept to ourselves. I am not particularly close to anyone here in Port Royal despite living here my entire life.”

“Well, we’ll have to change that for you and find you a nice lad to marry,” she wiggled her eyebrows playfully.

“Young men frighten me a bit, and I am not so sure about getting married. I’m sure that I can likely find a way to support myself without it. Part of me wonders if I should join the Catholic church and become a nun. Or perhaps abuela’s tribe would welcome me back. If I was not so afraid of men, I could become a whore, although my mother, bless her soul, would likely return like the ghost of the prophet Samuel and rebuke me something awful.”

“There will be no whoring as long as I have a say in it!” Catherine burst out laughing. “I know that meeting new people can be frightening at first, but the more that you do it, the easier it gets. After you’ve gotten settled in here and you’re not in the middle of grieving, we’ll take things slow and you can meet some of my friends and give you time to get comfortable around them. How does that sound?”

“I suppose that I could manage that. Besides, you are a new person to me, and you’re not frightening at all. I almost feel as if I have known you a long time,” Jane beamed. “Can you tell me more about yourself, mistress?”

“Please, Jane, you may call me Catherine…”

Happily, Catherine obliged Jane and told her of her childhood on the English coast, the loss of her parents, and her friendship with two young midshipmen, Andrew and James. She told her of her marriage to Andrew and their journey together across the Atlantic. She spoke of some of Andrew’s adventures with James and Theodore at sea and even of some of the details regarding her connections to the infamous incident at the fort with Captain Jack Sparrow. And although the wounds were still a bit raw, she told of her loss of Andrew, the departure of James, and then the loss of Thaddeus.

“You have lost so many people, so maybe we were meant to find each other. Maybe God knew we both needed someone as intimate with loss as we are to help each other,” Jane pondered aloud.

“I could not have said it better than myself. For being so young and even a bit sheltered, you are quite wise!”

“I remember father telling me what happened at Fort Charles. As you can tell, I am very inexperienced when it comes to romantic matters, but when he told me of how Miss Swann treated Commodore Norrington, I could not help but to feel sorry for him. I have seen him a couple times in town. Even I must admit he is quite handsome, and he worked so hard to keep us safe here in Port Royal. I hope he comes home someday.”

“As do I,” Catherine played with a bit of her hair.

Finding it nice to have another person sharing the house with her again, Catherine and Jane got on splendidly. She had plenty to teach the girl, but she also enjoyed learning from her as well. From time to time, Jane would cook some of the foods that her mother often made while also sharing stories from Qʼeqchiʼ folklore. While Catherine had already made great strides in working through her grief, she still found comfort in having a shared experience with Jane who would still have nightmares or break down crying over a pot of her mother’s food cooking from time to time.

In short time, Jane agreed to start getting to know new people, so Catherine felt that Theodore Groves was the perfect person to start with as even the shiest of people would find it difficult to be afraid of the man. She, of course, made sure to tell Jane all about the young lieutenant prior to inviting him to share a meal with them in order to help allay any fears the girl might have about him. Despite Jane being obviously nervous and saying some awkward things that might have drawn a laugh from others, Theo was ever gracious and a gentleman towards her knowing that she had been raised in a sheltered atmosphere and had a fear of strangers and particularly of men. After their first meeting, Jane was quite happy to learn that dinner with Theo would be a frequent occurrence at Philadelphia House.

“Lieutenant Groves is such a kind man,” Jane smiled one evening after yet another meal with him as she and Catherine washed the dishes.

“Yes, he is lovely. I do not know what I would have done without him these past few months. I’m very proud of you, too. I remember you were nearly trembling with fear before meeting him the first time, and now it is as if you are old chums,” Catherine winked.

“I never thought that I would ever want to get married, but if there are plenty of men in the world like Theo, then I might be persuaded to change my mind.”

“Do you fancy him?”

Jane paused and thought briefly before answering as her cheeks blushed slightly, “Indeed, I think that I do!”

As time continued to drag on, James was finding it increasingly difficult to remain patient as he was finding himself becoming more and more eager to leave Tortuga and find his way back to Port Royal. To some extent, he felt that he had finally forgiven himself for what happened to Andrew, but now he realized that he also needed to forgive himself for how he had abandoned Catherine. More than ever he found himself longing for her and feared that she may reject him for the pain he had caused her.

James’ drinking had gotten somewhat better, but on days that were difficult, he sometimes could not help but to reach for the bottle. After another recent setback in trying to return home that was particularly disappointing, he was mentally kicking himself for allowing himself to fall so far again into a drunken stupor. As he sat in the _Faithful Bride_ drinking away, fate finally smiled upon him as he observed Jack Sparrow and Joshamee Gibbs walking inside the tavern.

“And when these things begin to come to pass, then look up, and lift up your heads; for your redemption draweth nigh,” James recited to himself with a smile as he squinted at his target.

After observing Sparrow and Gibbs as they sat down and men started queuing up, he determined that they were looking to sign up more crew. Taking a quick swig of rum, James wiped a small bit that dribbled down his bearded chin, got up, and got in line. At one point, Sparrow got up and left Gibbs to manage the task alone.

“And what's your story?” Gibbs asked as James stood in front of him when it was his turn.

“My story? It’s exactly the same as your story, just one chapter behind. I chased a man across the seven seas. The pursuit cost me my crew, my commission, and my life,” James’ voice quivered slightly with rage and sadness.

“Commodore?”

“No, not anymore! Weren't you listening?” he spat angrily. “I nearly had you all off Tripoli. I would have if not for the hurricane,” he shuddered.

“Lord, you really didn't try to sail through it, did you?”

“So do I make your crew, or not? You haven't said where you're going. Somewhere nice? So am I worthy to serve under Captain Jack Sparrow? Or should I just kill you now?” he pointed his pistol at Sparrow who was currently trying to make his escape hiding behind a large plant leaf.

“You're hired!” Jack declared nervously.

“Sorry, old habits and all that,” he cocked his head slightly readying to fire his pistol.

“Easy, sailor, that’s our captain you’re threatening!” a new member of Jack’s crew warned as he and another man tried to disarm James causing him to lose his aim and shoot at the ceiling. A woman shouted out in fear as the bullet ricocheted breaking a man’s tankard of ale and all hell broke loose as a brawl ensued.

Despite his high level of intoxication, James held his own albeit he was not as elegant as he would usually be in a sword fight. He noted a young man that he had not seen before fighting alongside him and felt quite confused as to who this person could be and why they seemed to be trying to help him. Finding himself and the lad cornered, James spouted out some boastful threats until he felt a blow to the back of his head and all went dark.

Starting to regain consciousness, James could feel himself being carried by several people before being flung unceremoniously into a massive mud puddle inhabited by some pigs. With his head pounding, he tried to get his wits about him as the mud dripped off his face.

 _“No_ ,” James despaired. _“I’ve lost my chance!”_ He felt a small hand grab his arm and pull on him to get him to turn over. It was the boy.

“James Norrington, what has the world done to you?”

“Nothing I didn’t deserve,” he could not help but to wallow in his own self pity. Then he realized. _“That voice! That is no boy!”_ he squinted trying to get his vision to focus better and recognized the person’s face. “Elizabeth? What in God’s name are you doing here?”

“I feel that I should be asking you the same thing,” she frowned. “It’s a long story, but I can tell you later. Let’s hurry before the _Pearl_ leaves,” she helped him up before dousing him with a pail of water in an attempt to clean the mud off of him and heighten his senses.

“How dare you!”

“It’s time to sober up, James. Come on,” she grabbed his hand and pulled him stumbling and grumbling behind her.

Unsure if it was a living nightmare, a stroke of luck, or providence, he almost could not actually believe it. Perhaps he had even died and was actually in hell. But James was now serving as a crewman on the _Black Pearl_ under Captain Jack Sparrow. While he wanted nothing more than to strangle the man to death, James knew he had to plan his course of action very carefully as he knew life might not be kind enough to give him another chance. And so he had to bide his time even if it meant performing menial labor like scrubbing the deck. Of course, Sparrow made sure to rub things in James’ face and humiliate him anytime the opportunity presented itself. One day while scrubbing the deck with the remains of his wig, why he kept the stupid thing all this time even he could not understand, he eavesdropped on a conversation between Gibbs, Sparrow, and Elizabeth.

“Beckett! Will was working for Beckett and never said a word!” Gibbs declared in disgust as the three of them examined some documents.

“Yes, they're signed, Lord Cutler Beckett of the East India Trading Company,” Elizabeth clarified.

“Beckett wants Jack's compass. Only one reason for that.”

“Of course. He wants the chest,” Sparrow chimed in.

“Yes, he did say something about a chest,” she recalled.

“If the company controls the chest, they control the sea,” Gibbs sighed.

“A truly discomforting notion, love,” Sparrow shook his head.

“And bad. Bad for every mother's son that calls himself a pirate. I think there's a bit more speed to be coaxed from these sails. Brace the foreyard!” Gibbs wandered off to command the crew.

“Might I inquire how as to how you came by these?” Sparrow cozied up to Elizabeth.

“Persuasion.”

“Friendly?”

“Decidedly not.”

“Will strikes a deal for these and upholds it with honor. Yet you're the one standing here with the prize. Full pardon, commission as a privateer on behalf of England and the East India Trading Company.” Hearing Sparrow’s clarification that the document were in fact Letters of Marque, James felt his heart skip a beat and looked up at the pirate and Elizabeth. “As if I could be bought for such a low price!” Sparrow tucked the letters into his coat and started to walk away.

“Jack, the Letters, give them back,” Elizabeth chased after him.

“No, persuade me.”

“You do know Will taught me how handle a sword.”

“As I said, persuade me,” Jack wandered off.

Joining Elizabeth who was currently standing at the rail smirking after her and Sparrow’s blatant flirtation with each other, James could not help but to comment, “It’s a curious thing. There was a time when I would've given anything for you to look like that while thinking about me.”

“I don't know what you mean,” Elizabeth feigned ignorance.

“Oh, I think you do.”

“Oh, don't be absurd. I trust him, that's all.”

“So you never wondered how your latest fiancé ended up on the _Flying Dutchman_ in the first place?” he shook his head in disgust and started to walk away.

“I may be gullible, James, but at least I’m not stupid like you when it comes to matters of the heart!”

“Excuse me?” he turned back.

“Why would I have looked at you like that while you were so busy yourself looking at Mrs. Gillette the same way?”

“I do not know what you’re talking about,” he scowled even though he felt defenseless realizing that someone had actually seen through his ruse and identified his weakness.

“You were both quite good at hiding it in public, but in smaller social gatherings, I would catch you from time to time. I saw the look that you had in your eyes, how you would stare at her like a school boy when she was not paying attention. And Catherine looked at you with the same affection that she had for her husband, God rest his soul.”

“How dare you speak of her like that and bring her name into this! Same for Andrew! One should not speak ill of the dead!”

“I do not speak of her in order to slander her. I speak of her to get you to wake up and realize the truth. She confided in me that she had to choose between two men when Lieutenant Gillette proposed to her. She never told me the name of the other man, but from the way she once pleaded with me not to hurt you, I concluded that the man was you. Of course, you would know better than myself if there were any other men in her life at that time that had the opportunity to put themselves forth to court her. Were there?”

James turned around to gaze at the sea clutching tightly onto the rail lest he lose his composure and start to cry in front of the crew of the _Pearl_. And Elizabeth. “No, as far as I know, there were no others,” he managed to reply.

Elizabeth gently put her hand on his back, “When you passed out drunk the first night aboard this ship, one of her letters was sticking out of your pocket. I confess and am sorry, but I read it. James, she adores you. I can tell.”

“You really think so?”

“I’m a woman. I know so,” she smiled.

“I had always wondered if she had feelings for me, and after reading her letters while in Tortuga, I thought that maybe it were actually true. But I was not sure. You have no idea how many years I have carried guilt for having feelings for my best friend’s wife.”

“Everyone in Port Royal society knows how you loved the lieutenant and vice versa. I know that you would not have purposely done anything to hurt him. Father relayed to me how hard his death was on you. I should have swallowed my pride and at least visited you in your time of grief. I’m sorry, James, for how much I hurt you. I humiliated you and contributed to everything that has transpired to bring you here.”

“I think that I am starting to learn to forgive you, Elizabeth, and myself. More and more I am coming to realize that we probably would not have had a happy union despite the lies I told myself to convince me otherwise when I courted and proposed to you.”

“I think that we could have learned to be happy together, but it’s obvious now that you would always have eyes for another. And likely, I would have acted the same. Go to Catherine, James. As long as you’re alive, it’s never too late.”

“That is what I am attempting to do, but as I am sure you know, just like you and your fiancé there’s a death warrant with my name on it. I need something that would be of worth to Lord Beckett to bargain for my life,” he explained in an attempt to see if Elizabeth would bring up the Letters of Marque that Sparrow had just taken from her.

“You are an intelligent man, James. I’m sure you can figure something out.”

“I hope so,” he sighed. _“So she is not willing to mention the possibility of offering me one of the letters. Shame. Obtaining the Letters of Marque from Sparrow on my own should not be too difficult, but if I can get that chest as well, I will be welcomed back to Port Royal by Lord Beckett with open arms. And perhaps having my position in life restored, Catherine will accept me as well. Ultimately, this has only ever been all about and for her. My love…”_

Onboard the _Black Pearl_ was not the only place awkward discussions about relationships were taking place. Catherine had invited Theodore Groves to have a meal with her and Jane one evening, and she noted that he was acting a bit unusual. That evening in the garden having a moment alone with him while Jane prepared their pudding, she soon found out why.

"Catherine, I have given this much thought," Theodore nervously began speaking taking her hand in his own. "If you were to wish for it, I would be happy to marry you and make sure you are cared for properly. We would not even have to share the same bed if you did not want. Of course, what I mean is that you would not have to fulfill your wifely duties unless you desired it,” his face started to turn red.

After staring at him briefly as her mind sorted out what exactly he was trying to communicate, Catherine could not help but to laugh. ”Oh, Theo, sweetheart," she smiled, "you have been so good to me already, but I would not force you into such an arrangement. You are still young and deserve to get married for love and not because you feel obligated to do so. You have been such a dear friend to me, like a brother actually, and I would not want to ruin that," she patted his blushing cheek."Besides, Jane fancies you quite a bit."

"She does?"

“Yes, bless her, she adores you.”

“She is beautiful,” he got that special glint in his eye that one does when speaking about their beloved. “Gets her looks from her poor mother who I saw at the fort just after her arrest, rest her soul. And you really have helped Jane to blossom since she first moved in with you. She’s turned from a shy, frightened girl who had no prospects into a confident young woman that is industrious and can look after herself.”

“I’m glad to see you feel the same for her,” Catherine winked. “She is eighteen now, you know. Quite old enough to be married if it is what she wants. She used to be dead set against it, but I think she’s warmed up to the idea in recent weeks."

“Are you suggesting that I court her?”

“If you feel up to it, I think she would have you, Theo. I’m am only a surrogate mother of sorts to her, but I would welcome you to come courting.”

“Well,” Theo paused and thought for a few seconds, “I think that I shall! This was not the result that I had imagined for this evening’s discussion!”

“But is it at least a pleasant surprise?”

“Yes, very!”

“Did you really think that I would have accepted?”

“I honestly had no idea what to expect,” he smiled.

“At least now you’ve had some practice at proposing marriage,” she could not help but to elbow him playfully.

The courtship of Miss Jane Smith and Lieutenant Theodore Groves went well, and by the new year, they were engaged to be married. Theo was beside himself with happiness, and Jane found it hard to believe how much her life had changed in only the matter of a few months. Unable to resist, Catherine hosted a small gathering at Philadelphia House to celebrate the couple’s new engagement. As Jane busily told Beatrice all the details, Theo snuck into the kitchen where he found Catherine sniffling over a pot of water she was boiling for tea.

“What is it?” Theo asked offering his handkerchief.

“Just having a moment is all,” she accepted his offer and dried her tears. “Things have been such a whirlwind, haven’t they? Feels like just yesterday Jane arrived here on my doorstep with Bea. She’s done quite a lot of growing up these few months she’s been with me. Now she’ll be off married to you soon enough this spring. I’m so happy for you and Jane, but I feel quite selfish. I suppose it just reminds me of happier days when Andrew and I were basking in the glow of being newlyweds. God, it’s times like this that I miss him. He would have been teasing you relentlessly right now!”

“Aye, he would have! With what I feel for Jane, I understand things more fully now. Everything you have gone through this past year. The love. The loss. And times three. I cannot help but to feel it is not fair that Jane and I get to have such joy in the face of what you have experienced. You should get to have some happiness, too, Catherine.”

“Theo, you both deserve this, and please do not let your feelings of empathy for me diminish the joy of what you are experiencing right now. I want you to cherish every moment of it all, because you never know when it might disappear.”

“Part of me feels that telling you with this may give you false hope, but I would not feel right holding it back either. Some weeks ago, Lord Beckett sent his clerk Mr. Mercer to Tortuga to gather information. Recently, I have been able to tease out of him the purpose. They received word that a certain former commodore was residing there in disgrace. And Jack Sparrow is known to frequent the town, so it would only be logical for Mr. Turner and Miss Swann to head there as well if they were looking for him. I would have thought that if Mr. Mercer apprehended any of them that he would have already returned triumphantly with them in irons. Beckett and his cronies are certainly not known for their humility. So, either James was not in fact living in Tortuga, or if he was, he managed to slip out of Mr. Mercer’s grasp.”

“Even if it is only a rumor, it is the first news we’ve had of James since he left, and I do take some comfort in that. Thank you for telling me,” she patted his arm.

“And even when he’s compromised, James is intelligent and a fine tactician. He has no problem when it comes to games of cat and mouse.”

“I want nothing more for him to turn up at my front door, but I know how dangerous that would be given the warrant with his name on it. If only there was something we could do to get that damn warrant overturned,” she sighed.

“I’m sure he’s well aware of the warrant. If he’s determined enough, James will find a way.”

Floating on his handmade raft out in open sea, James scooped some sea water to splash on his face in an attempt to stay cool in the hot midday sun. The raft built in haste and no way of gathering any fresh water for his journey, he knew that he would not survive much longer if he was not discovered soon.

It was three days now since he was on Isla Cruces. Three days since he clashed swords with the two men that contributed to the ruination of his life. Three days since he betrayed the woman he once thought that he had loved. They had chosen their paths and could be damned for it for all he cared. Only one person mattered now. Even if he personally had to descend into hell to obtain his redemption, he would count the cost worth it.

“The church came to the island, and brought salvation, and disease, and death. They say the priest had to bury every body, one after the other. It drove him mad, and he hung himself,” Elizabeth had explained the story behind the ruins of Isla Cruces.

“Better mad with the rest of the world than sane alone,” he had replied bitterly.

Night and day, James could feel the beating heart of Davy Jones inside his coat pocket. Knowing it was the key to his redemption, James feared removing it from his coat lest it be lost in the sea. And yet he feared its infernal thumping would ultimately drive him mad.

Maybe he was already mad or close to it from the heat. He swore he could hear a woman speaking as he wished the thumping and the heat and the thirst and the bobbing about would just end so he could finally rest in peace.

_“Him never stopped loving her. But the pain it cause ’im was too much to live wid. But not enough to cause him to die. It was not wort’ feeling what small fleeting joy life brings, and so he carved out him heart, lock it away in a chest, and hide de chest from de world…”_

Pulling a small dagger from his boot, James looked at his reflection in the blade. His lips were dry and cracked, his face burnt from too much exposure to the sun. At least in Tortuga he could still recognize himself. Now he could barely recognize the man that stared back at him. Not even able to summon forth any tears from being so dehydrated, he held the blade to his chest in preparation to do the deed. Crying out in emotional anguish, the dagger slipped from his hand as he succumbed to the heat and collapsed unconscious.

“Easy now, just a little sip at a time,” an older male voice instructed. “Drink too fast and you’ll make yourself sick. Lucky we found you when we did. If you were out there a few hours longer, you probably wouldn’t have made it.”

Swallowing the cool water, James managed to open his eyes. He was onboard a ship. “Where am I?” he quietly rasped.

“You’re on the _HMS Endeavour_ , lad, flagship of the East India Trading Company. I’ll have one of the boys notify Mr. Mercer that you’re awake.”

Once James was well enough, Mr. Mercer introduced himself and proceeded to discuss the terms of any potential bargains Lord Beckett might wish to make with James. Somehow in all the drama of hauling James aboard and saving him from death’s door, no one had actually seemed to notice the fact that he had a beating heart in his coat which had been quickly pulled off his thin shoulders and tossed in a corner with his boots. The Letters of Marque, however, were noticed as one had slipped out of his coat pocket onto the floor. Mr. Mercer offered James a quill and some ink so that he could fill out his name.

Although his redemption was at hand, James still felt deeply unsettled. Still about two weeks away from Port Royal, now being well enough to have dinner with the captain and officers, James was offered a bottle of whiskey by the captain. “From one commander to another,” the grizzled old captain smiled. “I know you fell on hard times, Norrington, but hopefully we’ll have you amongst our rank again soon enough. I cannot imagine the hell you’ve been through, so if you need a little tipple to cope, I understand. I’ve been there myself. I’ve told the men that you can help yourself to the ship’s supply of alcohol as much as you want.”

While the captain of the _Endeavour_ was only seeking to be kind to his comrade, he had only done James a disservice by catering to his old enemy of alcoholism. By the time they reached Port Royal, James was internally beating himself up for allowing drink to consume him once again especially as he was so close to his goal. So close to Catherine. What would she possibly want with a drunken mess like him? As soon as he set foot in Port Royal, he knew that he would need to yet again start the grueling process of avoiding the bottle and allowing his body to learn to cope without it.

“Is there any news on the chest?” Lord Beckett lounged at his desk as Mr. Mercer approached.

“None, but we did pick up a man adrift at sea. He had these,” Mr. Mercer dropped the Letters of Marque on Beckett’s desk.

“I took the liberty of filling in my name,” James said a bit haughtily at the short man sitting in front of him.

Beckett motioned for him to come closer to his desk, “If you intend to claim these, then you must have something to trade. Do you have the compass?”

“Better,” glad to finally rid himself of it, he pulled out of his coat the sack holding the beating organ and plopped it on Beckett’s desk. “The heart of Davy Jones.”

“It's remarkable,” he remarked looking inside the sack at the beating heart.

“I take it I've won commission as a privateer?”

“Oh, I think better,” Beckett smiled. “Reinstatement of your former rank and status, all rights and privileges attendant.”

After finalizing his deal with Lord Beckett and sharing a meal with him, James started wandering mindlessly through the town that had been his home for many years as it grew dark and clouds started to gather. Feeling weak in still not being fully recovered from his time adrift at sea and starting to feel the early symptoms of alcohol withdrawal, he knew that he needed to find somewhere safe to stay for the night lest he become a victim of crime or arrested as his appearance was no different from a vagrant.

As a light drizzle started falling from the sky, struggling to think of what to do or where to go, he wandered onwards until he reached the other side of town. His mind and heart unable to cope, almost instinctually, his body took him exactly where he needed to be. He finally reached his destination as some thunder rolled off in the distance. And better yet, some light was emanating from the windows meaning someone was home. He could hear a familiar feminine voice coming from within. Growing weaker and supporting himself with one hand on the doorframe, James knocked on the front door of Philadelphia House.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Care and devotion. Eh, Andrew? Where did you hear that one before?"
> 
> Had a rough time writing this chapter. Difficulty concentrating and only had small parts pre-written. But it's done, and things will finally be getting better. Not perfect, but definitely better.


	22. Return of the Prodigal Son

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “James had passed through the fire, but he had passed also through the river of years which washes out the fire; he had experienced the saddest experience of all—forgetfulness of what it was like to be in love.” - James Galsworthy, The Forsyte Saga

Likely catching it from Theodore who had a bad bout of the sniffles, Jane was in the process of recovering from a nasty cold. Although feeling much better, Catherine had noted how tired Jane looked one afternoon and insisted that she have a bit of a nap before dinner. Having just put a chicken pie in the outdoor oven, Catherine sighed spying some dark clouds off in the distance hoping that the rain would hold off until after the pie was ready. It was unusual but not unheard of to get a storm this time of the year outside of the rainy season. Even though it posed a potential inconvenience to her late day culinary endeavors, Catherine welcomed the thought of a little rain particularly as it appeared to be blowing in from the north, and a cool evening rain would be just the thing to make things more comfortable for Jane to sleep that night.

Being tired a bit tired herself with the holidays, all the excitement as of late over Jane and Theo’s engagement, and still having occasional bouts of fatigue leftover from her emotional and physical ordeals the preceding year, Catherine curled up in a chair with a book hoping that she would not fall asleep and burn her pie while also listening carefully for further signs of the approaching storm. Feeling herself starting to nod off as it started to drizzle outside, she was roused by someone knocking at the door. They were not expecting anyone, but grateful that the unexpected caller stopped her from falling asleep, she rubbed her eyes and went to see who it was.

Opening the door, Catherine found herself greeted by a tall, slim man leaning on the doorframe wearing a tattered naval uniform coat, covered in grime, and wet from the rain. While she certainly suspected, it was when she looked the man in the eyes that she knew for sure.

“James!” Catherine gasped. Despite his unkempt, filthy appearance and not even minding the smell, she flung herself at him embracing him tightly nuzzling her face into his chest as her silent tears mixed with the water drops on his skin already present due to the rain. Feeling a large hand gently placed on her back returning the embrace, keeping her face buried into his chest, she asked, “What in the world has happened to you? I was starting to think that I would never see you again.”

“Catherine,” James felt her name quietly slip from between his lips. With his strength failing him and feeling a bit overwhelmed, his knees nearly gave out.

"Oh, you are unwell!" she had felt him wobble a bit and noted how he struggled to support himself against the doorframe. "You look simply exhausted. Quickly, come inside to the kitchen lest you collapse out here in the rain. I will look after you, James,” she had him put his arm around her shoulders so that she could provide him with some support as they made their way inside to the kitchen. “I have so many questions, but they can wait. What matters is that we get you set on the mend," she had him sit down in a chair. "It is near suppertime, and of all things, I am making one of your favorite pies. I must say that it was simply providential that I decided to make it today," she brushed some stray hairs out of her face.

James lifted his bright green eyes from the spot he was staring at on the floor to meet Catherine's blue eyes. Not knowing what to say, he swallowed nervously and glanced quickly side-to-side before staring at the floor again.

"You must be thirsty, James. I will get you some water," she stated sensing that was struggling. Jane suddenly walked into the kitchen having awakened from her nap. “Jane, come and check the pie with me,” she pulled the young woman with her outside.

"Catherine, who is that?" Jane whispered.

"It is James Norrington."

“Really? The one that you and Theo have told me about.”

"Yes, the very one."

“You must be so relieved and happy.”

“I am, but the poor man looks as if he's been through hell and back," she sighed. “If he’s well enough to proceed, first things first, he’s in desperate need of a wash. Could you get some water put over the fire for a bath for him, dear?"

“Of course, I'll get it started now and then finish getting supper ready while you help him with that."

"Thank you," she smiled before returning inside to give James some water. "I have Jane getting a bath ready, and I'll get out some of Andrew's old clothes for you. You were both about the same height and build, so hopefully they will fit you at least well enough until we can get some of your own clothes made," she explained handing him the cup of water. He quickly drank every last drop. "Would you like some more?" she laughed slightly before he shook his head.

Early on when they had moved in, Andrew had insisted on setting aside money for the expense of a bathtub. He had it placed in the fourth bedroom upstairs as the room had become a bit of an all purpose room for him and Catherine, and placing it upstairs rather than in the kitchen provided a bit more privacy. Unlike in cooler climates, buckets upon buckets of hot water was not necessary, so it was a bit of a faster process to fill it. Between Catherine and Jane, the bath was soon ready.

“I’ll mind the pie and keep it warm once it is done,” Jane offered.

“Alright,” Catherine nodded. “Come upstairs with me, James, and we'll get you that bath. You are in sore need of one and a shave, too! Although, I’m afraid the shave will have to wait until tomorrow as Andrew’s razor is no doubt dull. Our leather strop recently went bad, and I just have not gotten around to replacing it yet. I will go into town tomorrow,” she explained as she guided him up the stairs. 

Nearly collapsing at the top of the stairs, James caught himself on the banister with a slight groan. Catherine quickly helped him to steady himself and led him to the room with the tub having him again sit on a chair. It was only now that Catherine realized that she had backed herself into a corner forcing her to contemplate how to handle this now awkward situation.

"James, I will help you, and even though many may consider it to be improper, you certainly are in no condition to undress and bathe yourself at this moment," she nervously explained after finally deciding what to do. Seeing he made no protest or reply, she started to unbuckle his baldric and set it aside before helping him shrug out of his tattered coat. She next helped him out of his waistcoat and helped him slip his once white shirt over his head and added it to the pile before kneeling down to help him take off his boots. "I will get you a towel to cover yourself with to maintain your privacy," she offered noting that all that was left were his breeches. He nodded in agreement slowly not looking her in the eyes. 

Catherine walked over to a set of drawers, pulled out a towel, and held it in front of him as he undid the buttons on his breeches. After he carefully stood up and she handed him the towel for him to hold in front of himself, she gently tugged on the bottom hems of his breeches pulling them down to his ankles so he could step out of them. He quickly wrapped the towel around his waist before she led him to the bathtub and helped him climb into the warm water towel and all. He groaned a little as he settled down into the water. He had thought that given his recent abhorrence of the sun and heat due to his ordeal at sea that the warm water might trigger unpleasant memories, but despite that, the warmth did feel quite good on his aching body.

"You soak and rest for a while. I'll go fetch you some clean clothes. We’ll leave your clothes be for now. I’m not sure they’re salvageable, but I will leave it up to you to decide what you want me to do with them,” she nervously spat out before leaving him in peace. Walking down the hall to her and Andrew's bedroom, she blushed at what she had just done. James was still, after all he had been through, quite handsome despite being a little on the thin side at the present moment. Thinking on James' current rugged appearance and thinking about what it might be like to join him in the bath, she blushed even more. She had never felt lust towards him before, but she did admit to herself that at this moment she would not have minded having him sleep next to her at night. She longed to feel the warmth of a man's skin in bed as she did when Andrew was still alive. 

_"Gracious, what am I doing?"_ she thought opening the door. _"He needs my help, and I do not want to do anything dishonorable or take advantage of him,"_ she sighed opening a chest of Andrew's clothing. Memories of happier days came flooding back to her as she sorted through Andrew's clothes. Lifting up one of his white shirts, she breathed in deeply catching a bit of the scent of his cologne still left behind. It brought tears to her eyes. "Oh, Andrew," she whimpered as she felt the soft fabric with the palm of her hand and fingertips, “he’s here. James is finally home. I will do my best to do what you asked of me.” After having a little cry, she wiped her face dry and continued looking through the clothes.

Finding what she thought would work for James, she shut the chest and went back to check on him.He was still soaking in the water staring blankly ahead just as she had left him. _"Whatever happened to you, James Norrington?”_ she thought and frowned setting the clean clothes down nearby. "Would you like to be left alone for a while, or would you like me to help you wash now?" No answer."James? What do you want me to do?" she asked as she started to get frustrated with his silence although in all honesty she was mostly frustrated with herself. Again, no answer. "Very well, then, I'll be back in a while," she huffed slightly before turning to leave.

"No, please stay, Catie,” a weak voice pleaded behind her.

Catherine, feeling a little bit taken aback at how pathetic he sounded, turned slowly around to see James looking at her with what looked like fear in his eyes. "James?"

"Please don't leave," he said hoarsely before swallowing nervously and looking at the ground again.

"I won't leave you," she shook her head before kneeling next to the tub. She shyly brushed some of his dirty brown hair out of his face. "James, what has happened to you? Where have you been all this time? I have been so worried for you. We all have.”

Finally, James began to open up to her. "It's a long story,” he leaned back in the tub.

"Well, I have plenty of time."

“A lot of it is quite dark, and some of it you wouldn't believe if I told you."

"Do I have reason to believe that you would lie to me? I trust you," she smiled gently.

"I do not deserve your trust."

"Why do you think that?"

“I've betrayed you in more ways than one."

"I do not remember anything of the sort happening."

"Catherine, please, can we discuss this later? I am quite tired," he sighed before groaning a little in weariness.

"I'm sorry, James, of course we can. Whenever you’re feeling up to it, you can tell me everything. I'll get you cleaned up so you can have some supper and get to bed," she explained before grabbing the bar of soap and a wash rag. 

“You’ve been crying,” James noted plainly. “Your eyes are red.” 

“They are? It just must be from the dust on the chest of clothes I was looking through,” she made up an excuse.

“Catherine, I know you were crying. I have always been able to tell. I can hear it in your voice. I should not have come here. I have brought you enough pain already, and now here I am making you cry,” he clenched his jaw as some thunder rolled and the rain started getting heavier.

“No, James, you must not talk like that. I was not crying because of you. I was crying because I was thinking about Andrew as I was going through his things.”

“I will leave and find somewhere else to stay. Perhaps there is an empty room at the inn.”

“No, absolutely not, I will not allow it. You’re too weak to be wandering about out on a stormy night like this. Besides, I really do want you to stay. I have missed you terribly. I’ve been so worried for you. It was hard enough losing Andrew. I did not want to lose you, too.”

“You didn’t?”

“No, I didn’t. James, I know you and I were not as close as you and Andrew were, but having you around did give me some sense of security. I knew that you would have done anything to help me if I needed it. Knowing that you were in command here in Port Royal always made me feel safe. I know that Andrew’s death scarred you deeply. I wanted nothing more than to help and comfort you, but I was not sure how to do it. Then you left, and oh, how I grieved for you. I do not know what you have been through, but I want to help you in any way I can. Please stay here with Jane and me. There is plenty of room for you here, and we will not bother you. You were Andrew’s best friend, and you are my friend, too. To me, you’re family. Please stay at least until you get back on your feet.”

“I will stay here at least for the night, but I will have to consider it more concerning my staying here any time longer after this. I do not think society would approve of the idea of a disgraced ex-commodore living with his first lieutenant’s widow. It might appear scandalous.”

“Oh, hang society, James! What did society ever care for us? Lord knows they only cared about you when you were around making sure their gold and property were safe. The way they wagged their tongues about you and Miss Swann was evidence enough to me that they cared not for your feelings or honor. I say let them talk! In the end, what matters the most is that we remain honorable before God’s eyes.”

“I suppose you are right, although I am not sure God is too pleased with me at the moment.”

“Well, we can work together on healing your soul as well. Goodness, this water is getting cold, and the last thing we need is you catching your death! Let’s get you washed.”

After getting a good lather built up on the wash rag, she gently began to scrub his back and shoulders. She noticed that he had some scars on his back likely from a flogging or two at some point during his time at sea. She also noted the scar on his shoulder from when he was shot as a lieutenant. He had some other faint scars, and while she was curious as to when and where he got them, she decided to stifle her curiosity for the time being for his sake. "Lean back," she said gently pushing on his shoulder so she could wash his chest and arms. "Look at me now." 

After he turned his face to her, she gently began to wipe the bits of dirt and crusted sea salt off of his face. He looked as if he had aged a bit since she had last seen him. He had dark circles under his eyes and small wrinkles beside his eyes. He could not bear to look her in the face due to his feelings of shame.

Last, she washed his hair after carefully untying the tattered bow which held it back. _"His hair is quite lovely,"_ she thought to herself as she washed it and combed through it. _“And thankfully it looks like we will not have to cut it as he miraculously has no lice!”_ She had never realized that his hair was a lovely shade of brown, and it currently had hints of blonde from being sun kissed. All the years she had known him, he had always had a hat or a wig on with his hair tucked underneath. As she wrung the water out of his hair, she explained, "If it is alright with you and you are able, you can wash your legs and the rest of your body while I get some dry towels for you."

"That will be fine."

Catherine went back over to the chest of drawers and got out said towels. “I will go and check with Jane to see if supper is ready yet, and then I will be back to help you get dried off and dressed.”

“Very well.”

Returning to the kitchen where Jane was preparing supper, she asked, “How are you managing, Jane?”

“Just fine,” Jane replied as she started slicing some cheese. “Will Mr. Norrington be eating with us?”

“Yes, I will have him eat in the dining room with us if he’s feeling up to it.”

“If you don’t mind me saying, he is terribly handsome despite the state in which he showed up here.”

“Shame on you. You’re engaged. You better not be taking a fancy to James,” Catherine scolded slightly still feeling a bit rumpled with herself over the sudden awakening of her very physical attraction towards James.

“Oh, no, I’m not saying he’s handsome because I fancy him. I’m taking note of his good looks for you.You would make a fine-looking couple, you and Mr. Norrington,” Jane smiled. While Catherine had told Jane much about James, she had not told her every single detail about her love for him and everything that went with it lest she somehow worry the young woman or leave her confused in regard to her own feelings about Theo.

“Actually, that’s what I thought, but that was many years ago. Things were different then. We’ve both changed. He’s especially changed, Jane. He’s not the same man I knew back when we were younger,” Catherine frowned.

“But surely you have changed, too. After everything the two of you have shared over the years, you’re not just going to give up on him, are you?”

“Well, no, I could never abandon him now. But if we were together, I don’t know if I could handle it emotionally," she quickly made up an excuse.

“Why do I feel like that’s a little bit selfish? Catherine, you of all people should know better. First of all, you didn’t give up on me. Ever. God knows those first few weeks I stayed with you I was a troubled, terrified girl! Who knows what might have happened to me if it weren’t for you? I have a second chance of having a good life, and I would never have met Theodore if it weren’t for you. Second, doesn’t Reverend Wright always say that everything God has created is good, and that it is up to us as God’s children to help redeem from sin’s curse what He has created? You helped to redeem me, and now you must try to redeem Mr. Norrington. I do not know what has marred his soul so horribly, but I really do feel that you can heal him like you helped me to heal. I do not claim to completely understand what you have gone through, Catherine, but I think he can help heal you as well.”

“I suppose you’re right, Jane. I had thought about it before, but I doubted myself. Thank you for reassuring me that I should at least try. If there’s even a chance that all of mankind, including James, have eternal souls, then it is my responsibility to help save his, as surely as if it were my very own.”

“You better and go check on him. You’ve been down here a while,” Jane broke Catherine’s deep train of thought.

“Goodness, you’re right. We’ll be down shortly,” Catherine said before running back up the stairs and into the room where James was bathing. “I’m so sorry, James. I was discussing something with Jane and lost track of time.”

“It’s fine,” he replied.

“Are you finished?” He nodded his head. “Here, let me get your towels,” she said picking up the dry towels and taking them over to the tub. “I’ll help you stand up. I’ll hold up a dry towel in front of you while you get rid of the wet one, and then I’ll wrap the dry one around your waist.” Just as she said she would, she gave him support and helped him up out of the water. The towel he already had around his waist being quite heavy due to being soaked nearly slipped right off of him. Luckily, he caught it before anything was exposed aside from his hip. With Catherine in her current state, it was bad enough he had a treasure trail of hair going from his navel down to his pelvic region in plain sight that she could see, so it would have been hundreds of times worse if she saw more. _“I think that I might have actually swooned if I saw him, his, that, down there!”_

Catherine started to blush feeling flustered but kept her composure and grabbed a dry towel to hold in front of him so he could discard of the wet one. She thought about how close she was standing to him considering the fact that he was fully in the nude other than a towel between them only to blush even more. _“Oh gracious, forgive me, Lord,”_ she thought to herself feeling a little guilty for thinking once again about James that way. Finally, after much awkward fumbling with her arms around his waist and trying not to touch his bum, she managed to get the towel around him before he took over for her and tucked its ends securely.She quickly grabbed the other dry towel and started patting his back dry. “Do you think you are able to finish drying and to dress yourself?” she asked nervously.

“Yes, I think I will manage. Having rested in the bath, I have regained some of my strength. You are getting quite uncomfortable, Catherine, and you’ve done far too much already. I wouldn’t want to impose. Go and splash your face with some cool water before going downstairs. You’re quite flustered, and I wouldn’t want this Jane girl to think you’re blushing for, well, certain unmentionable and scandalous reasons,” he stated rather simply.

“James Norrington!” Catherine gasped rather surprised that he would suggest such a thing.

“I’m sorry. I only wanted to protect your honor. Also, you must please forgive me, I never thought I’d hear myself say such a thing, but I honestly also want to protect you from myself if you know what I mean. You meant to show me care, and with your attention, I have felt a stirring inside me towards you, my best friend’s widow. I’m such a wretched man,” he dropped his head averting her gaze.

“Oh, James, you’re not awful. It is all right. I understand. Really I do. I was getting flustered, because, well—,” she struggled looking for the proper way to put it. “Because you are a very attractive man, and for heaven’s sake, you’re standing here naked with nothing between me and you but a towel!” she threw up her hands before putting a hand to her forehead out of embarrassment. She then couldn’t believe what she heard, but it was quite a beautiful sound to her ears. James was laughing!

“Catherine Gillette, I never thought I’d live to see the day that I’d hear something like that come from your mouth let alone directed at me,” he chuckled.

At first, Catherine was even more mortified, but soon she joined in laughing at herself and the entire situation. “You’re right, James, I myself never thought I’d say something like that and to you especially of all people. It really is all my fault, though. I should have just gotten a man to come over and take care of you instead of insisting on doing it myself,” she shook her head.

“I see you are as stubborn as I am. And whom would you have gotten to come over and bathe me anyway at this time of day on such short notice? Governor Swann?” he teased.

“Well, I suppose I could have gotten Theo since he’s to marry Jane anyway in less than two month’s time. He’s been a great help to me since Andrew died, and I’m sure he would have done it considering you are friends, too.”

“Theodore Groves? I would rather die than let him have the jest of seeing me in this state let alone have him possibly see me in the nude! Trust me, Catherine, he would never have let me live this down. It was better, then, that you did it despite the consequences,” he could not help but to briefly cup her blushing cheek with his hand and stroke it slightly with his thumb before pulling his hand away.

“Really?”

“Yes, I am much more comfortable with you doing this than him. Now, if you don’t mind, I need to get some clothes on. I’m getting a chill.”

“Oh, sorry, I’ll meet you downstairs, but if you need help, give me a shout,” she smiled awkwardly before leaving the room.

“Catherine,” he whispered her name to himself as he finished drying himself off. _“What a beautiful name,”_ he thought as he started to dress. _“Why didn’t I go after her in the first place all those years ago? Oh, yes, that’s right. My career was the thing that mattered most. What a fool I was. What am I thinking? I’m still a fool. Fool to think that Elizabeth Swann actually loved me. Fool to let Jack Sparrow go with a day’s head start. Fool to let my search for him go to my head. Fool for putting the lives of my men in danger. Fool for resigning rather than taking responsibility for my actions and accepting my fate. Fool for running away. Fool for—.”_ James sighed, “Fool for leaving her." 

He continued thinking to himself as he finished dressing, _“These clothes belonged to the man who adored her, the man who would not have left her alone here in this cold and cruel world if it wasn’t for my foolishness and pride. I took that man away from her only for him to be killed. Andrew and Catherine did not deserve this. I should have been the one that died that day.”_

_“But you did not die that day, I did,”_ James imagined he could hear Andrew speaking to him. Over recent months, he never really could figure out if Andrew was truly haunting him or if perhaps his conscience had simply taken on Andrew’s voice. But it almost felt as if his very presence was in the room. _“Now you must repair the damage that was done. I trust you, James. I know you can take good care of Catherine. I would not have asked you to do so if I did not think you could handle it. She is a fine woman, and she would be so good for you. She does love you, you know. If you have courage enough to give her your love, her love for you will surely blossom and reveal itself.”_

“But I do not deserve her love, Andrew. Not after what I did to both of you,” James put his face in his hands. “I will try, though. I suppose that all I can do is at least try.”

After James had dressed himself, he carefully made his way downstairs to join Catherine and Jane for supper. He found the two women quickly gathering the last of the food to be put out on the table. From all of the work she had done that afternoon in helping to prepare supper and from helping James, Catherine's hair was falling out of where she had pinned it back leaving small curls and wisps flowing about her face. James found it to be quite attractive and becoming on her.

"Oh, James," she smiled when she saw him standing in the doorway staring at her. "You look much better now and must surely feel so, too. Doesn't he, Jane?" Jane shyly nodded her head. "I will dash down to the market and get you supplies tomorrow so you can shave."

"Thank you, Catherine, for everything. Is there anything I can do to help?" he asked.

“No, I am here to serve you. Please go and have a seat at the table," she said as she shooed him out of the kitchen.

"Did he say whether or not he's staying yet?" Jane whispered after he had left the room.

"He said that he would stay at least for the night, but he said he would have to think about the idea of staying longer."

“A few months ago I would never have said such a thing about a man that I did not know, but I do hope he decides to stay."

"Yes, it would be nice," Catherine said plainly as she finished putting some butter in a small bowl.

After the two women finished preparing the food and took it in to the table, they sat down with James who was sitting in the seat he always sat in when visiting at Philadelphia House, and Catherine blessed the food before they began to eat. Catherine informed James of all that had happened in Port Royal since he had left, and she also informed him of what she heard of news elsewhere. She told him all about the sudden arrival of Lord Cutler Beckett and the arrest of Elizabeth Swann and Will Turner on their wedding day. Although James had known firsthand most of the details already from the mouth of Miss Swann herself, he acted as if he was ignorant.

“What a shame Miss Swann and Mr. Turner's wedding was ruined," Jane noted. "I certainly hope Theodore didn't do anything to get us arrested on our wedding day."

Still wallowing a bit in bitterness despite feeling as if he had finally reached some closure between himself and Elizabeth, James could not resist commenting. "Perhaps Miss Swann and Mr. Turner were only getting what they deserved. They saw fit to hurt others in order to achieve their happiness, so why shouldn't they be miserable on the happiest day of their lives?" he scowled.

"Don't worry, Jane, Theodore is a good man," Catherine smiled to a slightly dismayed Jane in reassurance to counteract James' uncharitable comment.

“I apologize, Miss Jane, for my harsh words. You have no reason to fear. Lieutenant Groves is a fine man of the highest virtue, and I sincerely hope your days together be long and happy,” James lifted his glass in a toast. “Unfortunately, I have not been so lucky in matters of love, and it has tainted my soul.”

“Mr. Norrington, I hope you find love, healing, and happiness. And soon,” Jane slyly looked at Catherine who was looking at him with a glint in her eye.

The meal continued mostly in silence for the rest of the time. Catherine understood James' annoyance and felt it was best not to bring up the subject of Elizabeth Swann anymore unless he was the one to initiate. She knew he was deeply hurt by Elizabeth's actions, but she did not realize that he still felt the sting of Elizabeth's rejection even after all this time. Catherine herself knew the pain of reopening old wounds.

With James off to bed a bit early, Catherine sighed, “I think that I am going to have my work cut out for me. He’s always been stubborn. But there’s hope as we had a pleasant moment upstairs earlier. In fact, I cannot recall him ever being so relaxed and informal with me before as he was at that moment this evening.”

“His apology to me was from the heart. I could tell,” Jane noted.

“Yes, the way he spoke to you, that is exactly how the old James used to act and speak. Near gave me a thrill to hear it. I know that he will never be exactly the same as he was, but—,” she stopped to gather her composure. “I do not care. I love him now just the way he is, Jane, broken pieces and all. While tending to him earlier, something awakened inside of me for him that I never felt before. And as he was so vulnerable, I felt ashamed for it. But was it purely lust? I am not sure. All I know was that I felt a hunger for him I never craved before. Andrew once explained to me that he felt a hunger in his belly for me, and yes, I felt that for him, too. But not like this. And what’s worse is that it was very obvious as James noticed.”

“Did he say something?”

“If I understood him correctly, he felt the same as I did at least in that moment. Perhaps we just have both been lonely and crave companionship and physical contact.”

“I know that Theo and I are not married yet, but I do think that I sort of understand what you speak of. I just want more and more of him, but of course, there’s only so much one can do before marriage,” Jane smirked and blushed. “He’s actually the one always stopping me, but sometimes I just cannot help myself. He’s just so kissable!”

“That reminds me that I did in fact promise that I would discuss with you the matters of relations between a husband and wife, but at least you seem to know the basics,” she teased. “Speaking of Theo, I think that it is fine if you tell him that James is here, but for James’ sake, it may be best for Theo not to come here just yet.”

“Of course,” Jane agreed, “I’m sure Mr. Norrington is feeling overwhelmed enough as it is at the moment. When he’s ready, they can be reunited. You know, I’m quite excited for you, Catherine. Just remember to be patient with him like you were with me. And be patient with yourself!”

“Sometimes that is one’s hardest battle!” she nodded. “I’m quite tired, so I think that I will try to get some sleep. I want you to lock your door tonight. I do not know what James has been through since he left Port Royal, and sometimes trauma can do awful things to one’s sleep. Andrew had quite awful nightmares for a while after what they experienced at Isla de Muerta. Wouldn’t want a sleepwalking James to give you a fright. If anything happens, I will tend to him. I will wake you if I need your help. Tomorrow we’ll go to the market to get some supplies so he can have a proper shave and get him some other little things that he might like.”

Jolted awake by the sound of James shouting in the middle of the night, Catherine sat up getting her wits about her before running to see what was the matter. Lest she startle him, she quietly opened the door to the spare room where she witnessed him thrashing about in bed and moaning. Suddenly, James awakened and hopped of the of the bed getting on his hands and knees and tossing the contents of his stomach into the chamber pot quite violently.

“Oh, James,” Catherine frowned feeling sorry for him and ran to his side. Kneeling down next to him, she held his hair away from his face and offered reassuring words as he continued to vomit what was now green bile as no food was left in his stomach. “Shh,” she rubbed his back as he leaned back on his heels holding his abdomen with both hands doubled over in discomfort.

Finally the discomfort subsided, and after calming his breathing, James sat up straight with a quiet, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” she gently tucked his loose hair behind his ear. “With my help, can you sit on the edge of the bed?”

“I think so,” he nodded.

After putting the lid on the chamber pot and pushing it aside to ensure it would not accidentally get toppled over, Catherine stood up and assisted James to stand and sit on the edge of the bed. She sat next to him and resumed rubbing his back to comfort him. “You’re shaking all over, James,” she noted feeling his body shuddering and noting the trembling in his hands. Grabbing a handkerchief from the bedside table, she dabbed the sweat from his forehead. “You’re not well. Shall I have the neighbors fetch a doctor?”

“No, it is not necessary. It is the unfortunate effects of having no alcohol in my system after a prolonged episode of drunkenness I’m afraid,” James frowned in the dark feeling embarrassed. _“At least I had the sense enough to wear a shirt to bed rather than sleep in the nude as I usually would prefer!”_ he thought.

“Is there anything that I can do to help you?”

“Last time that I came off the drink, old McKee suggested consuming small amounts of it to help alleviate the severity of the symptoms. If you happen to have any strong liquor, a small amount would be of help. But do please keep it locked up lest I am tempted to indulge myself,” he quickly added.

After giving him a clean, spare chamber pot in the event that he continued to be sick, Catherine ran downstairs and outside with the full one dumping it in the latrine and giving it a quick rinse. She then poured a small glass of whiskey, ensured that the whiskey bottle and any other hard liquor in the house was secured under lock and key, and returned to James’ side.

Having sat together in silence while James finished his whiskey, Catherine shyly took his hand. “James, you will get through this just like everything else you have. Except, this time, you do not have to do it alone. Never again. I promise you that. Please stay here as long as you want. I insist.”

James did not say anything verbally, but he squeezed Catherine’s hand tightly and leaned his head on her shoulder which was enough for her to understand his answer. When his head started to droop in drowsiness, she had him lay back down in the bed and pulled the sheet up to cover his legs which were now a bit cold from his episode of sweating. As he drifted off to sleep, she could not help but to gently stroke his bearded cheek before kissing him on the forehead. At one point early morning as the roosters started crowing, he awakened slightly only to discover that Catherine had spent the night asleep in a chair beside the bed. Later in the morning when he finally arose, she was gone.

Ensuring that James had some breakfast and that he was comfortable with being in the house alone for a little while, Catherine and Jane went into town to get the items Catherine intended to buy for him. While he certainly knew Philadelphia House well, in fact he had felt as if it was his second home when Andrew was alive, James could not help but to feel odd as he made his way about the various rooms on the main floor.

Picking up a large family Bible from off the mantelpiece in the library, he sat down and opened it. Reading the names written inside the front, he could tell that the Bible had come from Catherine’s side of the family. Not thinking he would do any harm, he began leafing through the pages. He had meant to turn to the Book of Psalms to perhaps read some words of comfort, but instead turned too far to the Song of Solomon. It was there that he happened upon a pressed flower, and alas, a letter written in his own hand. Reading the letter, he recalled writing it, and while its content was not anything exciting, he did speak of Catherine and had sent her the flower as it reminded him of her. Folding the letter and carefully returning it to its place with the flower, his eyes skimmed the page and fell upon these words:

“Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned.”

Quickly shutting the Bible and placing it back in its place, James leaned on the mantel with one hand as tears gathered in his eyes. _“Elizabeth insisted it was the case, and how I have hoped. From last night, I know Catherine yearns for me physically. And she has shown me such care and devotion in my current humbled state. But can it possibly be true? Has Catherine loved me all this time? I pray that God show me mercy and strike me dead where I stand if she denies it for my heart could not take it if this suffering has all been for naught.”_

When the women returned home, Catherine found James in the garden. As his hands were still shaking as his body continued to learn to cope without a steady source of alcohol, Catherine insisted that she shave him lest his hand slip and he cut his own throat. He bargained that she could do it if he could have a small amount of whiskey again feeling anxious as if he could jump out of his skin. She agreed, and as he drank, she prepared everything.

“Andrew often requested that I shave him. Never did cut him, so I think that did factor into his requests. He was always a bit clumsy and nicking his jawline,” Catherine smiled as James used a towel to wipe the rest of the cream off his face when she had finished. “How did I do?”

“Excellent,” James smiled faintly feeling his cheeks as she held up a mirror. “Andrew was a superb teacher as I now know you can handle blades both large and small with finesse.”

“He always joked that he was going to smuggle me onboard the _Dauntless_ disguised as a midshipman. I insisted it would never had worked. You look good, James. How do you feel?”

“Physically? Much improved since my arrival in Port Royal. In other matters, I am not sure yet. But I thank you for everything you have done, everything you are doing to help me. You are a safe haven to me, Catie. I am not quite ready to tell you everything just yet, but I reassure you in that I am no longer a wanted man and in no danger of being executed. I should have told you that straight away, but it honestly slipped my mind. Overwhelmed by your kindness I suppose. I do not know when, but I will be returning to my position of commodore. Lord Beckett has granted me some time to recover from my time of tribulations first.”

“What a relief! Thank you for telling me. Honestly, I was just so happy that you were here that I forgot all about the risk to your life. And Theo and Weatherby will be so happy to see you again, but only when you are ready for it.”

Later that week one evening after dinner, Catherine put down her needlework and picked up her family Bible from off of the mantelpiece. "I used to just leave this upstairs in the bedroom," she explained. "I would sometimes read it to Andrew as he got his uniform ready for the next day." She sat down with the large Bible, and after leafing through the pages she began to read from the Gospel of Matthew:

“Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also. And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain. Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away. Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so? Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.”

“That was a very good passage, Catherine,” Jane said as she put down her embroidery. “I think I am going to turn in for the night now.”

“Goodnight, Jane. Sleep well,” Catherine smiled as she closed the Bible and put it back in its honored place. Jane left the room and went upstairs to bed after giving Catherine a hug. Catherine noticed that James was brooding. “What is wrong, James? You look like you are bothered by something.”

“I was just thinking about what you read,” he rumbled.

“Did it rub you the wrong way?”

“It is just that I both turned my cheek and prayed for someone who used and hurt me and look what it has gotten me.”

“Whom do you speak of James?”

“Eliza- Miss Swann,” he closed his eyes as he said her name. Part of him was angry with himself for even still being bothered by it all in the first place.

“James, you mean to say that you still have not been able to move on yet?”

“How could I, Catherine? She made a fool of me.” He paused before adding, “And she broke my heart.”

“James, maybe you should forgive her and move on with your life.”

“I loved her! You do not understand!” he angrily spat out as he got out of his seat and leaned his head on the mantel. _“Or at least I thought I did. What is wrong with me? This is stupid!”_

"James, do not be so ignorant as to believe that you are the only one here who has had to give up someone they love because of another!” she raised her voice slightly a bit to his surprise.

"What do you mean? Whom did you have to give away for someone else? I was not aware that you had any lovers other than Andrew,” he lashed out.

Catherine paused and sighed before gently answering, "It was you, James. I had to give up you. I loved you before Andrew started to court me. I had hoped that you fancied me, or at least I thought you did at the time, but when Andrew started to court me, I could not bring myself to hurt him. I hoped that it was just a passing fancy that he had for me, but before I knew it he proposed. As I said, I could not hurt him, and my mother thought it was a smart match, so I accepted. It was not that I did not love Andrew, but I just did not love him in the same way I had loved you. Even after Andrew and I were married, I often fought with myself and felt guilty because I still felt love for you. I tried so hard to forget about it, but I could not. I was a faithful wife, though, despite my guilt, and I did love Andrew. He was so good to me, how could I have felt anything towards him otherwise? I know he certainly loved me."

"That he did. He had nothing but praise for you, Catherine."

"I know, and that made the guilt all the worse. As I said, though, I was always faithful to him. I may have loved you, James, but I certainly did my best not let my feelings for you interfere with my marriage to Andrew other than for the guilt I felt at times. If Andrew suspected, he never uttered a word. And not once did I think of you or cry out your name when Andrew and I made love."

"Catherine!"

"It's true! As improper as it is for me to speak of that to you, it must be known. If anything, I suppose my guilt was what caused me to treat you so formally and horribly."

"You never were horrible to me. You were just distant and perhaps a little cold at times. I must admit that your sudden formality did hurt me a bit. You certainly were much quieter around me than you had been before you got married. I always sensed that something was wrong between you and me, but I did not feel comfortable asking for clarity.”

"James, while I am being honest, I must also let you know that when Andrew died, I wanted you to be the one to tell me. I wanted you to be there to comfort me. You were his best friend and his superior officer. He trusted you with his life. I have every reason to be angry with you for his death, but I am not. God knows I blamed myself enough for it thinking that I was being judged for having feelings for you. I know that he would not have let you do something if he felt it was not the right thing to do."

"Then he was naive!" James pounded his fist on the mantelpiece with tears forming in his eyes. "He was naive, and he was as obsessed with catching Sparrow as I was!"

"James, don't you think I know that? Do you know how many nights I spent waiting for him to come home to me? He was not as consumed by the search at the outset as you were, but it did not take him long. He knew that your position as commodore was at risk due to your actions that day at the fort. He became consumed by the search not because he wanted to catch Sparrow, but because he wanted to save you!"

"You are my superior officer, James, and my best friend. I have been and always shall be yours."

"What was that?"

"Something Andrew often told me when I was troubled. Catherine, I am so sorry. I have been acting all these months as if I am the only one who has suffered injustice and pain in all of this. Guilt and bitterness have been eating away at my heart for so long that I do not even recognize myself anymore. I’ve said it before. James Norrington died the same day Andrew Gillette did. I cannot help but to feel as if he died in vain and that it was my fault. I could have prevented you and so many others all the pain you have experienced if it was not for my blindness and pride."

“James, dear heart,” Catherine sighed with tears in her eyes as she took one of James calloused hands, “do not carry the weight of the dead with you. What happened to you that day could have happened to anyone. There was no way of knowing that it was a hurricane instead of an ordinary storm. Andrew did not die in vain. Besides, even the wisest cannot see all ends. Andrew’s death may yet have a greater part to play in the lives of others.”

“You mean ours.”  
  
“Yes.”

"I should have died that day. He saved my life. The _Dauntless_ was being torn apart. There was nothing we could do. It was too late to turn back. All I can remember was hearing the roaring wind, men screaming for their lives, and a terrible cracking sound. The mizzenmast had cracked. I was dazed, unable to move. Andrew pushed me out of the way just in time. He was crushed under the mast. I tried so hard to get it off of him. I tried for what felt like years. My hands were full of splinters from trying to lift it. A few other men finally arrived to help, but it was no use. I cannot even begin to imagine how much pain he went through. However, the ship’s surgeon reassured me that as his back was broken that it was a small mercy in that his pain would have been lessened. He did tell me that he could not feel his legs. He was somehow still conscious when we finally broke free of the storm, and I was able to attend to him."

"Was he able to speak?"

"Do you want to know what he said?"  
  
"Yes, please, I would like to know."

“He expressed some regret that he had neglected you the last few months of his life, but he was at peace as you had reconciled. He asked that I look after you. He expressed his love for me and for you.”

“Oh, poor Andrew, I wish I could have been there with him when he passed. I wish I could have seen him just one last time.”

“I have witnessed many deaths over the years. And although the cause of his death was horrible, I found comfort in that Andrew’s death was quite possibly the most peaceful one I have ever seen. I hope the knowledge of that provides you with some comfort, too.”

“It does. Thank you for finally telling me about it. I think that it was the last thing I needed to find closure over Andrew’s loss.”

“Catherine, if it is not improper for you to discuss this with me, exactly how much did our search for Sparrow affect your marriage to Andrew?”

“For a while he had horrible nightmares about the undead pirates you had engaged on the _Dauntless_ at Isla de Muerta. He would wake up crying out and in a cold sweat. Poor Andrew, at least I was always able to comfort him and help him get back to sleep. As time passed, I noticed a change in his demeanor. He was becoming a bit quiet and distant. And you were both gone for such long periods of time. He really struggled after, well, after you flogged him. For a time the nightmares started to return. But thankfully we sorted everything and his spirits brightened. I do miss his smile and laughter terribly."

"As do I. He was always able to lift anyone's spirits with a smile or a good laugh. Did you ever quarrel?"

“Only the one time which was what lead to us reconciling. Even then Andrew had never raised his voice at me. During the times that he was home all he ever talked of was you, how you were feeling, how you were coping with losing Elizabeth to the blacksmith’s apprentice, how the search was going, and so forth. Of course I wanted to know those things, but I also wanted to talk about other things. I wanted to know about how his day went and not just yours. I wanted to know how he was feeling. I wanted to tell him about my day and feelings. I wanted to discuss children. Before we grew distant, we were very much trying to start a family, but after he grew consumed by his work we did not speak of such things anymore. Actually, we did not make love anymore either for a time. I think that is one of the things that hurt most. Thankfully we came back together, and we at least shared some precious time together. I did not tell anyone at the outset, but I actually had conceived at that time."

"What happened, Catherine? What became of yours and Andrew's child?"

“I—," she paused trying to find the strength to explain. “It happened the day after the Swann-Turner wedding was to take place. The day after I learned there was a death warrant with your name on it. Our son Thaddeus was born too early. He was alive, but he was not long for this world. He’s in heaven with his papa. Theodore was here, thank God. He was to be his godfather. As Thaddeus was alive when he was born, Reverend Wright was able to give him a Christian burial. Weatherby commissioned a gravestone.” She looked around desperately trying not to break down into tears. "I lost the only thing that I had left of Andrew, and now I suppose I will never have any children of my own,” she said despondently as she put her hands over her eyes in an effort to hold back a sob.

“Catherine,” James said putting a hand on her shoulder as she began to cry. She suddenly latched her arms around him in a tight embrace as she wept into his chest. Not really knowing what to say, James returned the embrace and gently rubbed her back. 

"James, please do not leave me. I could not bear to lose you again. I'm all alone now. My mother and father are gone, Andrew is gone, Andrew and I had no children, and now Jane is set to be married. Please stay. You do not even have to do anything. Your presence would be enough."

James Norrington started to do something he had not done openly in front of Catherine. He began to weep being unable to bear seeing Catherine like this which was one of his fears after Andrew’s death. _"How could a woman so beautiful, gentle, and noble want me or even love me after all of the pain I have brought her?"_ James thought. Despite his doubts, he now knew she truly did love him even though he felt he did not deserve it. “Catherine—,” he tried to speak before breaking down into a full sob.

"Shh," Catherine tried to comfort him as she now noticed him weeping. He slowly sank to his knees, wrapped his arms around her waist, and rested his head on her abdomen as his shoulders shook from his sobbing. Catherine was taken aback with his actions, but did her best to try and comfort him by gently stroking the back of his head. She felt pity for she now saw just how broken of a man he truly was, but she also knew that sometimes tears brought about great changes in people. She gently loosened his grip around her waist and stooped down on her knees to look him in the eyes. Cupping his face in her small hands, she wiped his tears away. "James," she whispered to get his attention. "James, beloved, look at me." After calming down and doing his best to compose himself, he slowly opened his eyelids revealing the deep green eyes Catherine had always loved. She sadly smiled and stroked his dark brown hair out of his face so she could see him better."Everything will be all right. I promise."

"I'm sorry for everything, but I know that no matter what I say it will not bring Andrew or Thaddeus back to you. I will stay. I do not deserve your love and kindness, but I will stay nonetheless. You are such a strong little woman, and I am deeply honored to know you and deeply grateful to you for your kindness. Yes, I will stay. Catherine, you are my home.”

"Oh, James, thank you," Catherine sighed before placing a gentle kiss on James' lips and embracing him tightly. "I think we should get some rest. It is quite late, and you look absolutely exhausted," she said as she unwrapped her arms from his lean body.

"Yes, I suppose you are right," he agreed as he rose from his knees. "Let me help you, Catie," he offered his hands to her to help her off of the floor. "Thank you."

"For what, James?"

"For helping to heal my heart when I deserved it the least."

“It will take time, but I do believe your heart will heal almost completely. And I think that you will help to heal mine as well. I suppose you could see it as the promise of redemption." With what Catherine had just said about redemption, James actually found himself laughing a bit. "What is it? What is so funny?"

"Just a bit of irony, that is all. I will explain it in the morning. And I think that I am ready to tell you everything. Come now, let us get some rest," he offered his hand as they went up the stairs. After reaching the door to Catherine's bedroom, James found himself wanting to linger, wanting to hold her in his arms and deeply kiss her rosy lips, but fought off the possessive feelings as he awkwardly placed a gentle peck on Catherine's cheek. "Sleep well, Catherine," he smiled.

"You as well, James," she smiled back before retiring into her room and closing her door. 

That night after tossing and turning for a while, Catherine turned onto her side and faced the empty side of the bed, the side where Andrew used to lie beside her and hold her.She missed Andrew, but at the same time wished that James was lying there beside her sleeping peacefully. Little did she know that James was lying in his bed thinking the exact same thing about her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They always had that emotional tension. Now they have sexual tension. How will they ever cope living under the same roof together? ;)
> 
> Large chunks of this chapter were some of my earliest bits written for this story way back when. I feel a bit accomplished having made it this far. More to come!


	23. Revelations and Reunions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit dialogue heavy and a bit of a recap, but James gets to tell his version of the story to Catherine.

As Theo did not have any duties to attend to that day, Jane kindly went out with him for the morning and afternoon in order to ensure that James and Catherine were undisturbed. After checking at breakfast that James was still ready to discuss with her what he had gone through, Catherine decided she would try to make things as comfortable and informal for him as possible. She spread a blanket out on the grass in the garden, brought out a couple cushions, and prepared a tray of nibbles and things to drink.

“I did not say anything at breakfast, but that look is becoming on you,” James smiled fondly noting she was wearing her hair more loosely than what he had seen before.

“Thank you. Most days it is too hot to wear it like this, but this morning is proving to be cooler than usual. In return let it be known, I much prefer you like this in your natural state without one of those ghastly wigs.”

“At this rate, I will not need one as I have found some gray hairs the other day.”

“James, you’re only thirty! You will not turn gray overnight,” Catherine grinned. “I know that I keep nagging, but how are you feeling?”

“You’re not nagging,” he insisted. “The worst of my withdrawal is over, thankfully. As long as you and I are not parted, I beg that you please do your best not allow me to fall into that habit again.”

“I will give it my all. I suspect that as things improve for you emotionally you will not feel the desire to become drunk like that anymore.”

“That is my hope as well, but I do ask that you do not feel the need to bear any guilt if things do in fact go awry again. Ultimately, I alone am responsible for my actions.”

“Of course, we all are. And over the past few months, I think that I have finally learned to be more forgiving to myself. It was so freeing to finally rid myself of the burden of unnecessary guilt.”

“I am also learning that lesson. I am not quite as far along as you are, but perhaps you can help me with that as well.”

“Anything for you,” she patted his hand.

“So, where shall I begin?”

“Anywhere you want.”

Leaning back on his elbow on one of the cushions and making himself comfortable, James thought for a bit before speaking, “I will start at the beginning. I knew after Charlotte’s engagement ball that I loved you. Being a mere midshipman, though, I knew that I was not in a good position financially to be married and have a family to look after. And, of course, I always knew that I had to live up to the expectations of my father, the admiral. So I chose to do the dutiful thing and to work hard to be promoted to lieutenant with every intention of courting you soon afterwards. Andrew took me by complete surprise when he announced out of nowhere that he was seeking your hand.”

“You were not the only one that was shocked. I suspected and hoped that you had some sort of feelings for me, but I definitely had no idea that Andrew did.”

“I did want not hurt him by going after you the same time as he did and had hoped that his feelings for you would fizzle out as a passing fancy. As a boy I had some mates, but despite our different backgrounds in life, Andrew was my first true, intimate friend. I did not want to lose him. Things happened quickly, and he was so happy. I decided that if I could not have you, then I would do the dutiful thing and vowed to protect and care for you both. On one hand I was happy for the joy you both found in one another, and on the other hand I felt as if my heart had a gaping wound. I’m realizing that running away from my feelings seems to be an ongoing theme for me. Even after we were all reunited here in Port Royal and you expressed to me your hurt, I did not properly address it. I’m so sorry that I did not tell you a proper goodbye when I was transferred here from England. My convoluted mind thought that it would have been easier for you if I had not faced you to say farewell when really it was because deep down I knew that I could not bear it. I’m sorry for the hurt that I caused you, Catherine.”

“Hearing you explain now how you were feeling and your reasoning, I understand why you acted the way that you did. While it was not the best decision, I certainly do forgive you for it. During this time when I was a newlywed, I was struggling to balance my love for you and Andrew and felt guilt over it, so I know that any reaction that I had to your actions was likely stronger than what it would have been otherwise. While I was allowed to feel hurt because of what you did, if I in turn hurt you back in retribution, please forgive me as well,” she insisted.

“As it lacked the intimacy that we one had shared, it did hurt that you developed the tendency of mostly calling me ‘captain’ or ‘commodore’ rather than calling me by my Christian name. But I have never felt that you have done me wrong,” he reassured her, “and it is a delight hearing my name now frequently uttered from your lips. Would you please say it again for me?”

“James,” she smiled. “I never would have called you it before to your face, but for Andrew and I, you were always our dear Jamie.”

“I do believe he was the first person to call me that,” he nodded. He then continued, “Despite my vow to care and protect you and Andrew, my longing for you persisted over the years. Unlike you, Catie, I am no saint.” At this time, he paused for a few moments struggling to determine what to say next and how to say it. “Andrew on more than one occasion described to me feeling a hunger for you. I felt a hunger, too, but I assumed that it was just for physical relations with any woman. So over the years I indulged myself in the lust of the flesh with some women of society who were seeking to bed a naval officer for whatever their reasons. And I quickly found that I was wrong. My hunger was only ever for you. When I was with those women, my thoughts only were on you. It was only your name that was uttered from my lips in the midst of my release. It got me scolded and once I was even slapped for that,” he admitted blushing slightly. “Soon I found myself only feeling worse for it, so I stopped such activities. Even Andrew did not know of my dalliances.”

For a brief time, an awkward silence ensued as Catherine did not know how to respond. _“It is flattering and somewhat empowering to know just how strongly he has felt for me all this time. Poor man, no wonder he has felt such conflict within him,”_ she thought. She had no doubt that she was likely blushing as much as if not more than James was as she felt a stirring within her having heard him describe his yearning for her. Thankfully, he soon broke the silence and changed the subject.

“It was quite convenient for me to seek Miss Swann’s hand in marriage,” he explained. “The fact that Weatherby has been more a father to me than my own certainly played a part in my decision. And I felt that if I could not have you, then perhaps having someone for which I had some degree of affection would perhaps distract me from you. Dear Andrew, his tongue loosened with laudanum after his injuries from that explosion, expressed to me that you were not fond of Miss Swann at all. I reasoned that if you did not like the woman I had married then it would make it easier to keep you at a distance. Maybe Elizabeth and I could have had some sort of understanding and a reasonably happy marriage, but even she recently confided to me that she knew I cared for you and you only.”

“Really?” she snorted. “Well, maybe she is not as daft as I had thought when it comes to matters of the heart. Andrew did persuade me to try to befriend her if indeed you did marry her, and I did come around to the thought of trying for your sake lest she make you a cuckold. Andrew feared that she would be unfaithful to you if she were to get lonely with you away at sea. Honestly, I wanted to strangle her after what she did to you at Fort Charles. I still struggle with feelings of anger towards her.”

“She did hurt me very deeply even if I did not love her the way I love you. She used my feelings to manipulate me to get what she wanted and then betrayed me.”

“While you certainly made your own decisions in what contributed to your downfall, she was also partly to blame, both her and that Turner lad. I’m in a better place than I was when it happened, but deep down I felt a bit of glee that their wedding was ruined by Lord Beckett.”

“It was poetic justice in a way,” he nodded with a small smirk. “I am still learning to forgive her for what she did to me and to forgive myself for what I have done in turn to her. But that part of my story will come later.”

“Andrew and I worried something awful for you during the courtship and then even more in the aftermath of the broken engagement. We felt bad as we had encouraged you in your efforts to court Miss Swann despite our concerns about her suitableness for you. When we were all at Fort Charles, he and Theo were the ones who insisted that I go after you to see how you were faring. I could tell you were holding it all in at the time, and I wanted nothing more for you to just let me hold and comfort you while you released the pain. But at the same time, it would not have been proper. It was not the first time that I wanted to show you such affection.”

“Holding or patting my hand, clutching the hem of my coat sleeve, there were many times over the years that you gave me small tokens of physical affection. I treasured them when they happened even though they were in the context of friendship, and I treasure them now even more knowing they were really done out of love,” he reached over and tucked a stray curl behind her ear.

“Even though I was often troubled by guilt for it, I also treasured the small moments that you showed me tenderness and care as well,” she smiled. “I suppose finding and taking Sparrow back into custody felt like the only way to redeem yourself.”

“Yes, that is what it felt like, and ultimately my search for that redemption is what led to my downfall. I had lost Elizabeth, but I could at least save my career and all that went with it. Dignity. Pride. Honor. While those things are good in and of themselves, I think that I have learned that they are not the only things that matter in life. What good are they if you do not have love or companionship? It was during this time of searching for Sparrow that I first slipped into the grip of my addiction to alcohol. I was never one to imbibe much, so I was taken aback when I first realized the mess in which I found myself. It got particularly bad around the time that I went to Tortuga in disguise to try to find information about the pirate. And it was there in Tortuga that I met poor Giselle.”

Noting the sad look in his eyes, Catherine gently stated, “I can tell from your voice that the topic is a source of grief for you.”

“It is, but it must be told. Giselle was a prostitute that worked out of a tavern in Tortuga. I was looking for information about Sparrow’s whereabouts. At the time, I was so drunk that I do not even recall clearly the events that led up to it, but I found myself with her. Her childhood was decent enough, but she fell prey to a man that had led her and her family to believe he was going to marry her. The bastard persuaded her to sneak off with him to America and get married there, but he betrayed her by selling her off at an auction here in the West Indies. At one point she encountered Sparrow who betrayed her by doing the same thing to her again! She did not choose to become a woman of ill repute. She was forced into it! I am not proud of it, but I did spend the night with her. I was in a dark place, and she was kind to me, comforted me, despite the fact that she felt obligated to sleep with me. She gave me the information I needed. In return, I felt moved to help her and gave her a small sum of money in hopes that she would use it one day to get out of Tortuga. The story of Giselle and me does not end there, but I will come back to that in a bit.”

“Take a moment to rest if you need it,” she offered him a drink of cordial. “I know from experience how draining it can be baring your heart after burying so much deep inside of it.”

“Thank you. It is such a comfort know that my heart is safe with you,” he took the glass she offered before they spent some time once again in silence. When he was ready, James took a deep breath and continued. “I still do not know what possessed me to flog Andrew. Perhaps it was merely me directing the anger at myself elsewhere, anger for being a drunk that slept with a prostitute. Even though I know he forgave me, it still grieves me to this day knowing how deeply I hurt him. He was only ever loving and loyal to me. After that incident and amends were made, when we set back out to sea, things finally felt as if they were going in my favor. The men were all in such good spirits and respected me again. We were so close to catching the _Black Pearl_ I could practically smell the unwashed crew. And then all hell broke loose. I have never in my life heard of a hurricane happening in the Mediterranean. It had to be an act of God or perhaps even the devil. It came upon us so quickly, but I gave the men the option of sailing through or retreating to safety and awaiting Sparrow to return to the Strait of Gibraltar. The men stirred themselves into a fervor, and they overwhelmingly voted in favor of continuing our pursuit through the storm. Even Andrew and Theo voiced their approval. I was impatient, damn it. I was the senior officer and in charge of their welfare and should have ordered the men to change heading in retreat. We should have made our way to Gibraltar, spent some time on shore leave, and then cut off Sparrow when he attempted to return through the straight,” he started to become distraught.

“It’s alright,” she put a hand on his back to try to soothe him.

“No, it’s not!” tears started streaming down his face. “Over two hundred lives were lost because of my stubborn pride. And Andrew was the most precious of them all. I know that I am not directly responsible for his death, but I cannot help but to still feel regret for my decisions that led to it. I loved him. God knows he loved me. He deserved better. I miss him so much, Catie,” he voice faltered.

“I miss him, too, and yet I cannot fathom how much more his loss must pain you,” she pulled him close and held him as he wept into her shoulder. “We can stop for today if you wish,” she offered once he finally settled.

“No,” James shook his head, “I am afraid that if I do not finish that I will lose my nerve and bottle it up again.”

“I understand. Whenever you’re ready.”

“After the storm, we made our way to Tripoli not knowing if we would be welcomed or not. Thankfully, their pasha showed us the utmost kindness during our time of grief. Andrew’s loss touched all of the men not just Theo and me. The pasha provided for the repairs of the ship, and his Islamic physicians helped to look after our wounded. As raw as my grief was at the time, I did feel as if I had some small respite while we were there. Unfortunately, in my time of weakness, I yearned again for the bottle. And on top of that, a Tripolitanian captain introduced me to chewing opium. Between the substance addiction and my fear of facing you upon returning to Port Royal, I was quite a mess by the time that we arrived. Bless him, Theo was practically acting as captain our entire journey home.”

“Why were you so afraid to face me?”

“In hindsight, especially given what has transpired between us this week, it feels so silly. So much time wasted and such unnecessary pain for all of us. There were multiple reasons that I convinced myself that I could not face you. It is amazing what lies we tell ourselves and believe. I felt unworthy. I was a drunk. I felt guilty. I felt like a murderer. I was afraid of seeing you in pain. I felt like the scum of the earth, and even though I reassured Weatherby that I would not harm myself, I did want to die. I felt as if I had no hope left. I had no reason left to live. I no longer had Andrew. I thought that I would not have you. I had every reason to believe that I would have no career and perhaps would even be facing the gallows. It would have been easier to just slip away in my sleep and be relieved of all the pain. I could not even bring myself to face doing that. So like I always do, I decided to run away when instead I should have run straight into your arms.”

“When Theo and I tried to stop you from leaving, I could see in your mannerisms that you were hesitating. I might have actually caught you in time if it weren’t for some damn pig manure!” she managed to chuckle.

“I myself have had a face to face encounter with pig shite,” he cracked a smile. “When I saw you fall, I felt as if my heart skipped a beat. I very nearly did turn around. But then Theo was there, and I knew he would look after you. Maybe if he hadn’t been there I might have taken a different action.”

“Blasted Theodore!” she joked. “I imagine things got worse after you left.”

“To some extent, yes, but I suppose there were some small mercies. After some time on the merchant ship, I ended up back in Tortuga which was the last place I wanted to find myself. I inquired after Giselle and was delighted to learn she had in fact freed herself from prostitution. I managed to find her only to discover that she had two young children, a boy and a girl, whom she had hidden away to protect them. Not only that, she had saved the money that I gave her, found her family in England, and was prepared to return there with her little ones.”

Hearing his voice falter slightly and knowing something was wrong, she asked, “What happened, James?”

“Immediately upon my arrival she insisted for my safety that I stay with her and the children and her friend Mrs. Campbell. I could tell that she was unwell. She was honest and told me straight away that she had consumption. The doctor thought that she would last at least a year, so that should have been adequate time to get her and the children home to her family. Giselle and I formed some sort of relationship. We understood each other. She was always kind to me and ever grateful that I aided her in escaping a life she never chose for herself. She gave me an open invitation to share her bed with her. I will be honest with you. I accepted on several occasions. Her children took to me as well. For the first time in weeks, I did not want to die anymore. I felt some warmth in my cold heart. I had hoped that perhaps the doctor was wrong about her condition and prognosis. Although not at all ideal, I thought that perhaps I could have gone with them to England, that Giselle and the children and I could make some sort of little family. I felt a small sense of hope for domestic happiness even if it was a counterfeit of what I longed for with you. It was a fool’s hope. Not long after Mrs. Campbell and the children set off for England, Giselle began to deteriorate. Even the doctor was shocked at how quickly she went downhill. Her friends helped me look after her, but I was with her alone when she passed,” he started shedding tears again. “She knew her children were going to be safe, loved, and looked after. She knew her family forgave her for her past and that she was loved. She was at peace.”

“James, I’m so sorry.”

“I remember frantically trying to get the rest of the money needed for her to buy passage home,” he wiped his cheeks and started rooting around in his pocket. “I very nearly sold these, but Giselle stopped me,” he pulled out the snuff box Catherine had made him and opened it revealing Andrew’s ring.

“Andrew’s poesy ring!” Catherine picked the piece of jewelry out of the snuff box and held it between her fingers. “I had thought it had been lost.”

“I’m sorry, Catie. I had put it in my pocket for safekeeping when I helped the ship’s surgeon prepare Andrew’s body for burial with every intention of returning to you, but obviously my mind was elsewhere upon our return to Port Royal. I have had it this entire time. Please keep it. It belongs to you.”

After briefly admiring it in her hands, she answered, “No.” Putting the ring back into the snuff box and closing the lid, she explained, “I want you to keep it for now. I am not entirely sure why. I just do. You’ve kept it safe this long. I’m sure you can keep it safe a bit longer.”

“Very well,” he put the snuff box back in his pocket. “As I said, Giselle stopped me from parting with these. I had told her about you and about my guilt for loving my best friend’s wife on more than one occasion, and she insisted that I return to you. After she died, I read the letters that you wrote to me. If only I had read them sooner, I could have spared us both such heartache. Having read them and realizing that I had no need to fear facing you, I resolved to return to Port Royal and try to make amends for what I have done. I had learned of the warrant with my name on it, so I had to be patient for once and be cautious lest someone turn me in. My patience paid off.”

“This is the part I have been wanting to hear. I do not know why, but I have always felt like this bit of your story would be quite intriguing.”

“I was in the tavern one day when God finally smiled down upon my drunken, wretched self as Captain Jack Sparrow walked right in and sat down.”

“No!”

“Yes!” his face lit up a little hearing the excitement in her voice. “He was looking for more men to join his crew. So, of course, I put myself forward. Ended up starting an all out brawl in the tavern in the process. Got myself knocked out by none other than Elizabeth Swann disguised as a lad. She broke a rum bottle over my head!”

“Oh my!”

“For whatever reason, Sparrow took us both on as crew. One day, I learned that Elizabeth had on her person Letters of Marque issued by Lord Beckett granting full pardon and commission as a privateer. I had heard rumor that she had taken them from him and was delighted to find out it was true. Sparrow confiscated them from her, so I knew that I could probably manage getting them off of him. This is the part of things in which you will likely believe me insane.”

“Andrew saw and fought with the same exact undead pirates that you did. And I myself have had encounters with the supernatural. There is no need to fear that I will doubt your sanity. Proceed!”

“Elizabeth explained that Beckett was looking for a chest belonging to none other than the fabled Davy Jones himself. It is said that whoever controlled the chest controlled the sea because they controlled Jones. We found the chest, and inside was a disembodied beating heart.”

“That means the story you told me when we were young is true. He really did cut out his heart.”

“Aye, he did poor chap. And his crew are as cursed as he is. They are men but are turning into sea creatures. I encountered some of them myself.”

“What happened after you found the chest?”

“I will start out by saying that, like Giselle, Elizabeth also encouraged me to return to you. She divulged to me that you once pleaded with her not to hurt me.”

“A lot of good that did!” she grumbled.

“Apparently, we were both not as good at hiding our feelings for each other as we thought as she claims she noted how we looked at each other.”

“Maybe it is a woman’s intuition as Theo has reassured me he never noticed anything between us more than friendship.”

“Perhaps,” he nodded. “Elizabeth apologized for how she treated me, and I do feel some closure between us. While I am not proud for my actions toward her regarding the chest, I knew that I had to make a decision for you, for us. Getting home to you was all that mattered no matter who got in my way. After discovering the chest, a sword fight broke out over it between Sparrow, Turner who had been tracking us, and myself. I was not only able to pilfer the Letters of Marque from Sparrow’s coat which he had left in the longboat, but I was also able to hide away Jones’ heart on my person. Davy Jones’ crew arrived looking for the chest. I feigned sacrificing myself so that the others could escape with them thinking that they had the heart in a jar of dirt when in fact I did. And when I ran into Jones’ men, I gave them an empty chest.”

“Brilliant!”

“It did not feel brilliant. It still doesn’t. I still do not know if Elizabeth survived or not. What if my actions led to her death? I still have to face Weatherby sooner or later.”

“Do not start!”

“I know. Unnecessary guilt,” he sighed. “I made my decision for you, and she made her decision for Turner. If there had been a way, I would have saved us both, but she wanted to be with him.”

“Then it was out of your hands, and Weatherby knows better than anyone else how headstrong she can be.”

“Yes, he does. Bless him,” he nodded. “I quickly put together a makeshift raft and set off hoping a ship would find me. That infernal heart beating away in my coat pocket was driving me mad. Then I started hallucinating from the heat. I was finally discovered on the third day. According to the surgeon on the _Endeavour_ , I nearly died of dehydration. If they did not find me when they did, it might have been too late. I think that I was likely close to dying of the madness and would have if I had not blacked out from the heat first. Even though I had everything that I needed to redeem myself when it came to my life and career, I was still anxious about what could transpire between us. Stupid captain of the ship gave me a bottle of whiskey and free access to the ship’s supply of liquor. I could not help myself. But as soon as I set foot in Port Royal, I felt hope. I felt alive. I vowed that it was time to stop drinking once again or everything else I had done to achieve my redemption and return to you was all for naught. Once I met with Beckett and my bargain with him was made to restore me to my former station and pardon me for all crimes against the crown, I started wandering through Port Royal feeling a bit unsure of what to do next or where to go. That’s how I ended up at your door.”

“James, dear heart, things have been quite brutal for you.”

“But they have been for you, too, and it is true that I am partly to blame for it.”

“Well, God brought you home to me, and now we can heal together. Like I said, you never have to go through anything like this alone again.”

“I have been given a second chance, and I mean to make the best of it. And despite everything, you still want me in your life?”

“Of course, I do! I do not begrudge you for anything that you did. Darling, I can tell you loved Giselle and her children in some capacity. I am glad that you had someone to show you care and tenderness during such a dark time in your life, and you did such a selfless, beautiful thing to help her and her children. Sometimes I have wondered what things might have been like if you and I got together in the first place, such pain we might have been spared. But I think that God knew Andrew needed me. And it sounds like Giselle needed you. Now we need each other and our bond will be all the stronger for it. You must surely feel relieved to rid such an emotional weight off your shoulders after all these years.”

“I do feel somewhat unburdened and cannot recall the last time that I felt so.”

“I think that we have much to look forward to in our future now.”

“I do not know what we may face, Catie, but at least we can do it together. But part of me worries, though, that I may have made a deal with the devil.”

“Lord Beckett?”

“Yes,” he sighed. “Little man. I am well aware of his reputation and some of his past dealings with people. And I have met his crook clerk Mercer.”

“I will be honest. You may not be wrong in your fears. Beckett graced us with his presence at Sunday services once and made Theo and I very uncomfortable. He said some very assumptive things. I may sound paranoid, but it was as if he had someone spying on all of us before he arrived in Port Royal. And he had Jane’s parents hanged for charges that were complete nonsense.”

“While I am grateful for the opportunity he has granted me to get my life back, I fear that I have only traded one form of bondage for another.”

“Well, as you said, we will face it together. For now, best not to worry yourself over it. And I have every faith that you can handle him. Weatherby will certainly be glad to have an ally backing him with support once again. He’s had an awful time of it since Beckett has arrived. Imagine working for the man that had your daughter arrested!”

“Do you suppose that you could host Weatherby here one day in the near future so that he and I could be reunited without any of his staff prying?” he asked taking her hand and holding it gently to his chest.

“Certainly!”

“Thank you,” he smiled and kissed her hand.

Feeling a bit more free from all of his emotional burdens, James felt that it was time to see Theodore again. With Jane acting as a messenger between the men, they agreed upon meeting at Theo’s home alone. Before he had proposed to Jane, Theo had been living as a boarder for quite some time saving up his money to buy his own property, so although James was a bit nervous about leaving the safe space of Philadelphia House, he was curious and keen to see Theo’s new place and soon to be love nest. James could not help but to feel somewhat proud of the man Theodore had become while he was away.

“I’ve made some food for you both, and it is in the kitchen for whenever you’re ready,” Jane explained. “Theo is waiting for you in the garden reading today’s gazette. I will leave you two be and head back to Philadelphia House. He’s quite excited to finally see you, Mr. Norrington.”

“Thank you, Miss Jane. You are too kind,” James smiled and bid her farewell. Taking a deep breath, he exited the back door into the garden where he found Theo sitting with his back to him just as Jane said. He stopped again to gather his nerve.

Hearing James standing behind him, he knew that breathing anywhere, Theo started folding up his gazette and set it down on the small table next to him. As he stood up from his seat, he had no idea why his hands were now shaking quite badly.

By this point, James was standing beside him. “Lieutenant Groves, Theo,” he managed to choke out.

At this moment, Theo now knew why his hands were shaking as a sudden rage burned in his heart. Turning quickly, he punched James squarely in the mouth drawing blood from his lip. “James! My God, I’m so sorry!” he quickly apologized seeing James holding his mouth in pain. “I do not know what came over me just now. Are you alright?”

“I do not think you managed to cause any permanent damage,” James winced as he wiped the blood from his split lip. “Have you been working on your right hook while I have been gone?”

“Yes, from time to time. It is truly good to see you again!” Theodore smiled. “Again, I am so sorry! You did not deserve that.”

“No, I likely did, but it is good to see you as well,” James smiled, too, as Theo flung himself at him and embraced him tightly. “I see you have been busy while I was away. Theodore Groves settling down? What’s this about you getting married soon?” James teased patting his back before they released each other and sat down.

“Yes, to my dear Jane. Some days it’s still a bit hard for me to actually believe myself, but it's true."

"Are you both happy?"

"Yes, absolutely."

"That is good. She is a lovely girl. I’m happy for you," James smiled.

"Thank you. Jane and I really owe our happiness to Catherine. She was the one that brought us together. You should have seen how she helped Jane grow. She was a frightened orphan, but when Catherine took her into her home, she lovingly helped her become a confident young lady."

“Aye, they have shared with me some bits about what has transpired," James nodded his head. “I am gladdened that God brought them together in companionship during their times of grief.”

"Actually, I proposed to Catherine first," Theodore blushed.

"You? You proposed to Catherine?" James fought to hold back his laughter.

"Yes, I did. I suppose I did it a little out of pity and out of worry for her. She has suffered greatly, you know. Anyway, she politely declined my offer telling me that I was more of a friend or brother to her than anything and that she wanted me to marry for love and not obligation. She then brought it to my attention that Jane had taken a fancy to me," he smiled.

“I owe you much thanks for watching over Catherine during my absence. It was very irresponsible to leave the way I did, and the burden should have never fallen upon you to care for her. If you were not here for her, I'm afraid to know what kind of condition she would have ended up in by now."

"James, I did not consider it to be a burden at all. Like I said, we have developed a deep friendship, and I was to be Thaddeus’ godfather. I would do anything for her."

"Theo, I am incredibly sorry for abandoning you all as I did. I can only hope that you can forgive me for it.”

“Of course I forgive you, although, honestly, I may still at times express anger and frustration towards you for what you did.”

“That’s probably what led to this,” James pointed at his lip with a small smirk.

“I think so,” he looked apologetic again. “I had not realized until now how much anger that I actually had built up inside of me towards you. But I am certainly beyond happy that you are back safe and sound. I know some of it was because of your own doing and some of it was not. I do not know all the details, but I know you have been through hell. I am always here for you if you want to talk about it. About anything for that matter.”

“I should have sought your assistance months ago, but with Catherine’s help, I am moving on from it all. But I will take up your offer now. I’ve known you for quite a while, and I trust you to tell me when I'm wrong. Much has come to light between Catherine and I regarding feelings that we have for one another, feelings that we have unknowingly shared for each other for the past decade. On that note, do you think it would be unwise of me to, well, pursue Catherine formally?” James asked somewhat nervously. “Is it too soon?”

“Pursue as in court her?” Theo asked for clarification receiving a nod from James. "Unwise? Heavens, no! It would be unwise of you to not pursue her!”

“You really think so?”

“James, she has always thought well of you. She has always wanted you to be happy. You may have done her wrong in the past, but this is your chance to make things right. Do not throw away this opportunity, because you may never get the chance again. I think that if you were to break emotional ties with her again, she would fade and die of a broken heart. You should have seen her after you had left. I did what I could to help her, but I could not take Andrew’s place nor yours. She longed for you desperately. She broke down one day and told me of her love for you, and it was then that I first saw it in her eyes. Often when I visited her to make sure she was fine, she asked if I had heard any news of your whereabouts, health, or safety. She needed to know that you were well, but most of all she needed you. After she had lost little Thaddeus, she gave us a fright and was quite unwell. She later confided to me that she had wanted to die. James, pursue her with every ounce of your being. Go after her more than you would go after admiralty. If you do nothing else worthwhile in this life, just save her. She is a strong little woman and probably would not openly admit it, but she needs you desperately.”

“I made an error in judgment. It was shortsighted, and it was selfish. And now all of us are paying for my mistakes. When Andrew died, he asked me to take care of her, and instead of keeping that promise, I ran the other way. You are right, Theodore. This is my chance to correct at least one thing I did wrong. I think that I do not even care as to whether or not I ever make any advancement past commodore. In fact, my career means nothing. For now, all I want to do is to make Catherine the happiest woman in the world. I know that some hurts cannot be mended. I cannot bring Andrew back. I cannot bring their son back. I can, however, give her my heart and the family she has always wanted so desperately. My only problem is, Theo, how exactly do I go about courting a woman?” James asked with sincerity, but Theodore could not resist laughing. “Don’t laugh! I cannot help that I’m not an experienced, suave romantic like you!”

“You did court Miss Swann, didn’t you?”

“Well, yes, but Governor Swann arranged most of our meetings, so I did not have to put much thought into the matter. And I was not exactly in prime form when I was with her. Even then I had my doubts and felt conflicted as I still felt love for Catherine.”

“Well then, dear friend, I suppose I'll have to teach you all I know! Meanwhile, I think it'd be a good idea to at least let Catherine know your intentions. Let her know how you feel and what you want for both of you moving forward. I know you're not one to express your emotions well or often, but I think it would touch her heart greatly to see you pouring your heart out at her feet.”

_“Ironically, I have already poured out my heart at her feet,"_ James reflected in his heart. "Easy for someone like you to do, but I will try my best. I must," he resolved.

"Excellent, James," Theodore patted his friend on the back. "When do you plan on talking to her?"

"I'm going to do it later today. One thing that I have learned over the past year is that it is best not to put some things off. Besides, I don't want to lose my nerve."

"Good idea, and why don't you get her some flowers at the market on your way back? It would add a nice touch."

After finishing his lunch meeting with Theodore, James slowly made his way back to Catherine's house. Thinking all the while as to how he was going to tell her his intentions and how he felt about her, he walked through the market until he spotted a girl selling fresh-cut flowers. Smiling at the girl as he chose and bought a bouquet of various tropical species, he then continued on his way and decided that he would ask Catherine to walk with him on the shoreline that evening. He found the small cove that Andrew had discovered behind Philadelphia House a peaceful haven, and he knew that it was a spot that held a fond place in Catherine’s heart. Reaching the house and going inside, he sought out Catherine whom he found in the parlor quietly embroidering some of new handkerchiefs for him.

“How did things go with you and Theo?” she looked up and smiled as he walked into the room. “What happened to your lip?”

“Theo punched me when we first met, but all is mended between us now. It was very good to see him. These are for you," he shyly held up the bouquet.

"James, they're beautiful!" she put her work down and went to him. "Thank you," she hugged him tightly.

"You're welcome," he smiled. "We should get them in some water."

"I'll go run and do that. You sit down and rest."

After she had finished taking care of the flowers and sat back down, James fidgeted a bit before speaking up. "Catherine?"

"Yes, James?"

"I was wondering if you would like to go and walk down to the cove with me later."

"Oh, that sounds like a lovely idea," she sighed happily. “It’s been quite a while since I have been down there. It will be good to see it again.”

Later as Catherine bounced down the stairs wearing a midshipman’s uniform, James felt as if his eyes would bulge out of his skull. “Catherine Gillette, what on earth are you wearing?” he asked feeling his face starting to flush.

“Andrew’s old midshipman uniform, you ninny,” she laughed. “Even though you have kindly cleared the path down to the cove recently, it would be impractical for me to wear a dress through all that vegetation. Long ago, naughty Andrew proposed the idea that I wear this to make it easier to get through the jungle. He was right, so why tempt fate? Alas, the waistcoat does not fit me in the chest properly, so it gets left behind. But the coat is adequate enough to maintain my decency. Come, let’s go,” she handed him a blanket and shooed him out the door.

_“Tempt fate, indeed,”_ James prayed that he could turn his mind elsewhere lest he end up with an embarrassing bulge in his breeches.

Despite his frustration, James felt much better as they made their way through the trees as he had to stay focused on the path and kept checking if Catherine required any assistance. Once they reached the shoreline, they both discarded their shoes and stockings and walked about on the sand a bit before settling and sitting down on the blanket which they had draped over a fallen tree.

Catherine sighed and breathed in the sea air deeply. “I have missed this place," she thought aloud as she mentally recalled fond memories with Andrew there. 

Finally after they sat in silence for a bit, James decided to make his move. "Catherine, there is something I must tell you," he began as he took her hands into his own.

"Is something wrong, James?" she expressed concern.

"No, not at all," he reassured her. “Catherine," he cupped her cheek, "I love you. I have always loved you. For years you have haunted me, not only in waking hours with your physical presence but also in my dreams. I want to hold you close at night and keep you safe next to my heart. You're the only one who has ever had true possession of it all these years. I want to belong to you and you to belong to me. I want you to be the mother of my children. I want to give you the children you long to have. I truly want to make you happy. Catherine, my dearest, I love you so much it aches to be away from you, and so it is my sincere intention to court you properly if you will have me."

"Oh Jamie," she caressed his hands. "I've always loved you, too, and I will have you. I will!"

"Darling, I, Catie—,“ he stammered. Finding himself at a loss for words, he leaned forward, pulled her close, and kissed her passionately as she quickly met his kiss with equal passion of her own. Their hands starting to roam each other’s bodies, James’ hand slid down from Catherine’s neck to her chest and squeezed only to find within its grasp a soft, plump breast covered in naught but the loose fabric of the shirt she was wearing. Breaking the kiss and physical contact suddenly, James looked down with shame and began to apologize, ”I'm sorry. That was not proper of me. I had assumed that you would have been wearing your stays underneath, but I still should not have done it.”

Catherine lifted his chin and traced his lips with her thumb, “There is no need to apologize. I think it is something that we both needed."

"Pardon?"

"James, when you love someone and are as drawn to them as much as we are drawn to each other, you cannot help but to express that love physically. We have repressed our love for each other for so long, and that makes it even harder to keep away. You spoke of that hunger you feel for me. A hunger for you has recently bloomed for you within my belly. God how I ache for you.”

"Should I then plan on making this a short courtship and then a short engagement?" James suddenly grinned mischievously a bit to her surprise.

Understanding what he was implying, she grinned back and replied, “Of course, Jamie. Why put off the inevitable? Goodness, we’re going to have a difficult time keeping our hands off of each other!”

“I have done enough to harm you as it is. I will not allow myself to stain your honor, Catie, although I admit that it will require much restraint on my part,” his cheeks grew pink.

“James Norrington, I cannot wait to be yours!” she grinned and rested her head on his shoulder. “Kiss me again?” she asked sitting up.

“How you vex me, woman,” he grinned and kissed her. As they sat basking in the glow of their hopes for their future together, James turned and looked at Catherine. Noting her brow furrowed slightly, he asked, “What is it? Is this all too soon? Did I say something wrong earlier?”

“It’s just that you spoke of children. Andrew and I had great difficulties in that area. It is something that has brought me much pain. I want nothing more than to bear your children. But what if there is something wrong with me? What if I am barren?” she sighed as tears threatened to spill over.

“Then we will find another way,” he smiled reassuringly. “Poor Andrew, he and laudanum were not a good mix. He shared with me the troubles you were having conceiving. Of course, for your sake, he begged that I not speak a word of it, but it broke my heart knowing of the sorrow you both bore. I have no objections to adoption. Besides, although a slightly different situation, look at what a wonderful job you did with Jane.”

“Initially, losing Thaddeus felt like a death knell for me ever having a child of my own. But I came to terms with the idea that perhaps his papa needed him in heaven more than me having him here on earth, and that is why things had to happen the way they did. I never spoke of it lest I hurt him, but I knew it was always a possibility that it was Andrew’s seed which was the problem. His auntie even told me such about the Gillette men having troubles. His mum had an awful time of it conceiving. I suppose all we can do is try and pray. And I must be honest in that I much look forward to the trying part!” she smiled as a tear rolled down her cheek.

“As do I!” he smiled and wiped the tear away. “Do not fear, Catie. All will work out for us somehow, and it will never change how I feel about you. I will admit that I fear what kind of father I will be like, but I also do not want to let that stop us. So when do you want Reverend Wright to start reading the banns?” he winked.

“Patience, love, patience! We should at least let dear Jane and Theo have their chance first! But I will not expect you to wait much longer after that if you do not wish.”

“Thank, heavens. I only hope that I have the fortitude to last!”

“You’ve made it this long, so what is another two or three months?” Seeing the expression of relief on James’ face, she squeezed his hand. “I meant every word. I will not keep you waiting needlessly.”

“Thank you,” he cozied up next to her. “God, now how my lip hurts,” he moaned a bit causing them to chuckle.

That weekend, James planned on attending Sunday services at St. Peter’s for the first time in over a year. Despite the town’s reputation, there was in fact a church in Tortuga in which he occasionally sought solace. Yes, he had stumbled quite far from the narrow path, but he had not walked away from his faith altogether. He had prayed for forgiveness almost nightly since taking abode in Philadelphia House and felt ready to rejoin the rest of the flock. Reverend Wright kindly agreed to meet with him Sunday morning before the services started, and James relayed to him most of his sins.

“While we of the Church of England do not emphasize the practice of private confession as much as our Catholic counterparts, I thank you for your openness, James,” the reverend smiled warmly. “I regret that we previously did not have the opportunity to get to know each other better and that I was unable to provide you with pastoral care in your time of need.”

“Even if you did, I likely would not have taken heed to your words as I was not even willing to listen to the words of those I hold most dear. We Norrington men can be stubborn fools.”

“Well, even if you are a stubborn fool, I can at least tell that you are a repentant one. Please be reassured that the Lord has heard your prayers and has granted your requests for forgiveness.”

“I recall that I once conveyed to Catherine the advice that even though we know that God has forgiven us, it is often the case that we find it harder to forgive ourselves. I have found this to be true for myself, but each day I am feeling more and more free of the guilt. I cannot take back the sins I have committed, but I can work to heal the harm I have caused to others. Despite losing everything and despite my mistakes, I have been given the gift of redemption not only in the form of forgiveness but also in the form of such great blessing,” James could not help but to smile thinking of Catherine.

“My wife Beatrice has told me of your’s and Catherine’s blooming love. I am happy for you as you have both experienced such sorrow this past year. I pray that, like Job, you will be doubly blessed in regaining all that you have lost.”

“I owe you and your family much thanks in helping to look after Catherine in my absence, and I look forward to getting to know you better. I know that things for her and I will never quite be the sameagain particularly with the loss of Andrew, but I feel much hope for the future. Our future.” He looked around the church sanctuary and noted, “It feels good to be home.”

“What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it? And when he hath found it, he layeth it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he cometh home, he calleth together his friends and neighbours, saying unto them, Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost. I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance.”

“One of Jesus’ parables in the gospel of Luke. Also recorded in the gospel of Matthew if I am not mistaken.”

“Well done, yes, and we rejoice that you have returned to us. Imagine how much more rejoicing there is in heaven on your behalf.”

Many of the parishioners greeted James and expressed their joy in seeing him again. He sat with Theo in the pew he had also previously shared with Andrew. On one hand, Andrew’s obvious absence was difficult. He knew that with time it would grow easier but he knew that he would never stop missing his most beloved friend. On the other hand, he could not help but to steal glances across the aisle at Catherine who was seated with Jane in their pew. In the past, Theo had never noticed anything between Catherine and James, but now it was plain as day that his friend, his former commanding officer, was completely smitten.

After the service had ended and the congregants gathered outside to socialize, James glanced into the cemetery next to the church and noted a small gravestone that was still quite new in appearance.Breaking away from the rest of the crowd and wandering into the cemetery, James approached the small memorial. Noting the name Thaddeus Andrew Gillette and also a few words memorializing the late Lieutenant Andrew Maurice Gillette on the stone, James could not help but to feel a bit struck anew. Kneeling down, he traced Andrew’s name with his fingertips as some silent tears rolled down his cheek.

“I will never forget you, Andrew,” James pulled out his handkerchief.

_“No, you won’t. I will not allow it!”_ he could hear Andrew’s voice in his head. _“And the reverend was right. We in heaven are so happy that you are home.”_

“I wondered where you went,” came Catherine’s voice quietly as she put a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Wasn’t it kind of Weatherby to commission this for me? It was such lovely gesture for him to have Andrew’s name put on it, too. As Andrew was buried at sea, having this stone to visit from time to time has made it a bit easier for me.”

“I do believe it will help me, too. I regret not having gotten the chance to meet your precious son. I know you did not have much time with him, but what was he like?” he asked as he got up off his knees and put an arm around her waist pulling her close.

“He was very tiny when he was born. Even though he was premature, I could tell he definitely was Andrew’s son. He had a wee bit of red hair,” she smiled with fondness. “I do not know if it was merely my mind’s attempt to make sense of their deaths or if it was actually a vision from heaven, but I had a dream of them both. Andrew was holding our son and was so happy. He asked me to help you if you returned to us. He wants us to be happy. It helped me to feel better about everything either way.”

“I sometimes feel as if I hear him speaking to me from time to time. That or my conscience has merely adopted his voice,” he smirked. “For what it is worth, if it is in fact him somehow communicating with me, we have his blessing.”

“Dear Andrew, he and his entire family are gone, but I will never forget him or them.”

“Neither shall I.”

A few days later, Governor Swann was to dine with Catherine and James at Philadelphia House. In the days preceding, Catherine could tell that James was nervous as he was quite restless around the house and was often asking if anything needed doing. So, in between some tasks James started carrying out in order to prepare to rejoin his fellow sailors, Catherine gave him some bits and bobs to do to help keep him distracted.

“Weatherby should be here within the hour,” Catherine noted aloud on the day. “Do you wish to speak to him alone, or shall I stay here for support?”

“I would appreciate you staying at least until the initial hard part of our reunion is over. Thank you for offering,” James answered putting down his book.

“It will be fine, Jamie,” she sat next to him and rested her head on his shoulder. “In his correspondence, he’s only ever expressed sheer delight at learning you were home and his excitement in seeing you again. Besides, he will likely not wallop you like Theo did!”

“No, he would never.”

Upon Governor Swann’s arrival, both Catherine and James greeted him at the front door. To James’ relief, the older man was beaming ear to ear as he declared, “What a blessed day this is! How I have longed for it!” Stepping inside, he cupped James’ cheeks with both hands and looked him in the eyes almost as if he were checking to see that James was in fact really there in the flesh before embracing him tightly. “It’s so good to have you home and see you well again, James. And what providential timing in that I also happened to receive a letter from Elizabeth this morning!”

“Oh?” James was not sure whether to be concerned or relieved.

“Why don’t you come in and sit with us in the parlor to tell us all about it?” Catherine suggested leading the way.

“Elizabeth writes that she is well but quite weary,” Weatherby explained after taking a seat. “James, she made sure to tell me what you did to save her and the others, but unfortunately on her end, she is under the impression that you did not survive and is grieved by that. I wish that I could write back and let her know that you are alive and well, but unfortunately, she writes that they are off to Singapore. I know she loves that Turner lad, but she sounds homesick. And I think that she is once again starting to question the decisions she has made. My hope is that after their little adventure that she will come to her senses and come home. It has not been easy, but I have made great strides in softening Lord Beckett to the consideration of him obtaining a pardon for her and Turner if they return and are repentant. I do fear, however, what Beckett may ask for in return regarding any bargain.”

“I find it hard to like anything about that man,” Catherine huffed. “He’s running you into the ground!”

“I certainly avoid him as much as I can. My staff have become rather adept at making excuses for me as of late to get me out of meeting with him.”

“Shall I finish preparing the meal?” she asked James to gauge if he now felt comfortable spending time with Weatherby alone.

“Yes, that would be fine,” James smiled and nodded.

While Catherine finished with meal preparations, the two men discussed many matters. Of course, Governor Swann readily expressed to James his forgiveness for his actions even before James could properly ask, and the older man’s feelings did not change even after James explained his actions towards Elizabeth on Isla Cruces. On James’ end, in particular, he inquired about Lord Beckett as he was keen to get a better idea of what new potential mess into which he may have gotten himself. They were discussing some lighter matters when Catherine beckoned them to come to the table.

After they had finished their meal and were still sipping their wine, James felt stirred and divulged, “Governor Swann, Weatherby, you have told me before that I am like a son to you. I just want to let you know that for quite some time now I have looked at you as a father. I have felt more loved by you than my own. Thank you for your love and care all these years.”

“You’re quite welcome, James. I am so happy to have you home.”  
  
“To be honest, I feel as if I know next to nothing about your family. I know things between you and your father were always strained. And when you received word several years ago about his unexpected death, you did not seemed bothered one bit. Andrew even said it was something you did not wish to discuss with him. Darling, what happened between you and the admiral?” Catherine asked.

“I did not mourn my father when I received news of his death because I did not know that man. I mourned the death of my father many years ago as a child. He changed. It was sudden. It was dark. It was traumatic,” he frowned.

“Now now, if you are not comfortable speaking of it, there is no need,” Weatherby reached over and patted his shoulder.

“No, I think it's time for the tale to be told. It will be good for me to release what has troubled me for over twenty years. Besides, I am in very good company.”

“As you wish, James.”

“When I was very young, my father was always strict with my siblings and I, but we never doubted that he loved us. He would bring us gifts and tell us many tall tales when he would return from sea. He particularly doted upon me as I was the one most interested in joining the navy. When I was still only a little child, six years old, I stowed away on his ship as he set sail to capture the famous pirate Captain Edward Teague. I was merely a curious boy, wanting to see first hand what an exciting life my father had. Or at least to me it sounded quite exciting. Of course, I was discovered, but my father insisted that it was too late to turn back and return me to shore. He did scold me but was not angry. In fact, he seemed a bit proud to see how keen I was to join him.

But his pride in me did not last. With the assistance of my cousin Fitzwilliam who was acting as a double agent, my father and his men were successful in capturing Teague and his son, but Teague’s crew were dead set on freeing them. It was a chaotic battle, and my boyish curiosity got the better of me as I came out of my father’s cabin onto the deck. Teague knocked down my father with a heavy blow to the head, and in fear thinking my father was dead, I backed away to the railing. Next thing I knew, I was bumped and went tumbling into the sea. I could not swim. Captain Teague leaped into the water and saved me before he made his escape. As the ship’s surgeon tended to me, my father uttered to him well within my hearing, ‘I would rather the boy had drowned than to have been rescued by a pirate!’ After that, things between my father and I were never the same,” he leaned his head sadly on one of his hands.

“My God, James, what an awful thing to say to a child let alone your own flesh and blood!” Catherine gasped as she took hold of his free hand and squeezed it.

“Not long after the incident, he started having fits of epilepsy. He was also quite emotionally labile. There were times where he took physical punishments to his crew a bit too far. The doctors felt it all must have been from the blow to his head. He was otherwise still physically well and mentally competent enough, so it was felt by his peers that he was too valuable to be forced into an early retirement. What he said in front of me that day, it was only the beginning of years of verbal abuse he hurled at me. Nothing I ever did was good enough for him. He was always stern with my siblings, but I never heard him speak to them as he spoke to me. And yes, there were beatings, too. My dear elder sister Caroline was always trying to console me, bless her, and my eldest brother John faced up to our father once and threatened to throttle him after he beat me raw.”

Catherine wince before asking, “What of your mother? I know that you have kept some correspondence with her over the years and have written her recently.”

“I have been told that my mother Victoria nearly died in childbirth with me, so the fact that both she and I survived was something my father had cherished until he became a devil. All throughout my childhood, she was quite frail. She did her best to mother me, but she often had to take to her bed. She seemed to look the other way when it came my father’s abusive behavior, but I do think she was just too exhausted and it would have done her in if she had tried to intervene. She sent me off to boarding school which as a child was quite traumatic, but as an adult, I realize that she was likely doing what little she could to protect me. I know she loves me. We have had our tender moments and have shared words of affection in our letters, but we have never been as close as I would have liked.”

“I had no idea how horrible your childhood had been. I’m so sorry. Now I understand why you said that you feared what kind of father you might be. You have no reason to fear, James.”

“She is right,” Weatherby nodded. “I have seen how well you interact with the young men under your command. They both love and respect you. You will make an excellent father one day.”

“Thank you, sir,” he cracked a small smile. “Well, so now you both know the tale of how I was simultaneously rescued by and lost my father to the still fugitive Captain Edward Teague and his son. His son who goes by the name Captain Jack Sparrow.”

“My God!” Catherine exclaimed as Governor Swann gasped, “Bloody hell!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to have James fret a bit over the idea of living with Catherine during their courtship, but as far as I can tell from my reading, English culture was not as stuffy about such things as colonial America. It was considered acceptable for betrothed couples to live and sleep together and it was quite normal for brides to be pregnant. I would imagine, though, that things were a bit different for high society. Things had to change for everyone in these matters after the Hardwicke Marriage Act of 1753.
> 
> Given his childhood, no wonder James did not want to lose Andrew's friendship over Catherine. Poor man has only ever wanted to be loved properly, and Andrew was the first one to give it to him. And now we also know why he's always taken everything to do with Jack so personally.


End file.
